Flash Fiction Challenge: They Fight Crime!


It is one of the greatest websites in the history of sited webs.

You will go there. You will click on the link. It will give you an awesome pairing of two characters (I just got HE’S A BISEXUAL SCIENTIST WHO BELIEVES HE CAN NEVER LOVE AGAIN and SHE’S A PARANOID MAGICIAN’S ASSISTANT WITH HER OWN DAYTIME TV SHOW, which is really just amazing). You will take these two characters and put them in a story together.

I don’t really care so much that they actually fight crime.

You can have that as a basis, but mostly, I’m just looking to see these characters interact.

So, do that.

Length: ~1500 words

Due by: May 20th, noon EST

Post online at your online space.

Link back to the story in the comments.


[EDIT: I see that the site automatically makes each of the two characters male and female — I don’t think there’s any need to enforce that in your stories. Feel free to go with whatever genders you see fit.)

67 responses to “Flash Fiction Challenge: They Fight Crime!”

  1. Absolutely awesome idea…but why are all the pairings male/female? (I realize the link is not a site you run or anything, just sayin’ is all.)

  2. ha ha – agreed! They Fight Crime is hilarious! I got : He’s an albino master criminal with uncontrollable jazz hands. She’s a paranoid sorcerer with a magical ham sandwich in her pocket. Together, They Fight Crime!

    Excellent! Now where’s my pen…..

  3. Oh god… I thought this was an actual show and wanted it to be true:

    He’s a fast-talking opera singer living undercover at a circus, She’s an obese paleontologist haunted by the brutal murder of her family. Together, they fight crime.

  4. I got :
    He’s a hunchbacked Elvis impersonator from the spirit world and She’s a bloodthirsty paleontologist with a backpack full of scones.

    Together, They Fight Crime!

    But. . .what flavor scones? And does the hunchback do fat Elvis or skinny Elvis?

  5. I got:
    He’s a green-fingered advertising executive who believes he’s a wolf. She’s a mentally unstable astronaut with a magical ham sandwich in her pocket.

    Is green-fingered the same as a green thumb? I’ve never heard that expression before.

  6. These are hilarious! I couldn’t stop refreshing. Now I have a half a dozen pairings, and may mix and match (and play with gender). I mean if one is an over-sexed paleontologist and the other a virginal Jehovah’s Witness, no reason they can’t both be male. Or female. Or whatevers.

  7. Omg that site is all kinds of awesomeness! This is so much fun…but now I’m left with the dilemma of too many crazy characters and I don’t know how to choose!

  8. After hitting refresh a few times.

    He’s a suicidal small-town romance novelist fleeing from a secret government programme. She’s a cosmopolitan gold-digging mermaid who can talk to animals. They fight crime!

    We’ll see how it all works out.

    • One piece of constructive criticism: your story’s tense changed a few times between present and past, which threw me off. Otherwise, this was one of the oddest LOL trippy things I’ve ever read (tales on acid indeed!)… and Definitely NSFW 😀

  9. OMG, what hilarity ensues when these characters work together? I looked at several pairings and can’t pick a fave. They are all too funny. Maybe I will have to write more than one….

  10. I actually got something I felt I could work into a serious story (although I did get to have some fun with the tight pants!).

    I went about twice the length I was supposed to… but I was having so much fun with the story and the characters it seemed worth it. Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

    So coming soon to a screen near you:

    He’s a bloodthirsty
    Master Criminal
    wearing extremely tight pants.

    She’s an orphaned
    haunted by the brutal murder of her family.
    Together, They Fight Crime!


    (Warning: naughty words.)

      • Wow, thank you! I am positively humbled. Seriously, I can imagine no higher compliment when it comes to writing dialogue. (I’m a huge Elmore Leonard fan!). Dutch, Gregory McDonald (Fletch), & John D. MacDonald (I’m so disappointed I didn’t grow up to be Travis McGee) were my “coaches” when it came to dialogue…

        • I’m a huge Elmore Leonard fan too. I love how he can tell the story through dialogue. I’ve always liked dialogue, and I really admire how you use it in this story.

  11. I got:

    He’s a grave digger
    on a mission from God.
    She’s a devious
    magician’s assistant
    with a fear of the unknown.
    Together, They Fight Crime!

    Hopefully I’ll be back shortly with something written. The well has been quite dry.

  12. Andre, I feel you! Worst case, if you want, just start typing the words describing each of the characters and then see if you can get them just talking to each other. No action, no story, just dialogue back and forth. Straight interaction… here’s a quick thought to see if we can get some water flowing in the well: maybe they’re talking at the gravesite he’s dug for the corpse of the (murdered) magician she worked for?

    • My pleasure, hope it helps! Just let it flow, man. Even if you think it’s utter crap go ahead and post it. It’s still breaking the logjam 😉 Sometimes, just having characters talk (hearing them) is …um… weirdly therapeutic.

  13. To be honest, I couldn’t stop clicking on the link and laughing… In the end I settled for this:

    “He’s a sharp-shooting French-Canadian with a gambling addiction.
    She’s an oversexed Celtic Fan who is addicted to crack.
    Together, They Fight Crime!”

    But at some point the hilarity fell off and the story took a different turn. Here’s “Nasty Comeback”:


  14. This was such an incredible challenge! I ended up LOVING the characters I got and I had so much fun with them. I even have the insane urge to play with them a bit more and possibly turn this into a slightly longer story. It’s been such a long time since I’ve written anything so I feel a tad on the rusty side and any feedback at all would be treated like gold. The thoughts of other writers is invaluable to me 🙂

    Anyway, these are the characters I got:

    He’s a sharp-shooting paranormal investigator with a bag full of used knickers.

    She’s a mistrustful war veteran from another dimension.


  15. […] This week’s challenge requires going to a website called They Fight Crime, which randomly serves up two wacky character descriptions.  Our assignment, should we choose to accept it, is to write a story of around 1,500 words showing those characters  interacting. Having them fight crime is optional. […]

  16. Duuuuude. I totally used the prompt to write an 1800 word story in a day… but I liked it so much I submitted it to a paying fiction magazine instead of posting it on my blogspace. Woops! Thanks for the inspiration.

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