HAVE YOU HEARD THE SOUNDLESS CALL
do you know the unspoken frequency
I AM AN ELLOHEAD.
Or an ELLOPOLAN or an ELLOFACE or an ELLO-DOER or whatever they’re called.
do you ello, bro
What is Ello, you ask?
ELLO IS THE WAY.
Ello is the path.
Ello is the DARK SPHERE — it is EYELESS and MAD.
AND YET, IT SMILES UPON YOU.
Believe in Ello.
Give it your viscera.
Ello is a social network.
It is as if Tumblr and Twitter and Facebook had a sterile European baby and that baby is possibly a sociopath and it doesn’t know how to walk or do much of anything except growup like, preternaturally fast and then as an adult it totally fucks an Ikea Billy Bookcase and shits out 10,000 business cards by an insane Norwegian typographer.
It is elegant and minimalist.
It is so minimalist it isn’t even minimalist, it’s just minmist or mmst.
Ello is like if I broke a typewriter over your head, and you were forced to communicate with everyone using only the shattered keys stuck in your soft uncooked hot dog flesh.
You are not its product.
You are its food.
Ello has no likes or +1s or retweets or reblogs or shares or any of those grim human distractions. Ello has only the terminator grace of a status update and the comment window. If you want to interact with an update and show your support you have to actually comment, like a human being, but like a human being who is also really sympathetic to robots, or is maybe just a replicant from Blade Runner or something.
Ello has FRIENDS and it has NOISE and it has nothing else.
You’re either my friend, you’re either noise, or you’re instead one of the foul ingredients that comprises the black abyssal gravy of total obscurity.
Everything is public. You cannot hide in Ellospace.
With its dead eyes, the smiling void will know you.
It has no circles or lists.
It has no analytics or hangouts.
(It does have emojis and animated GIFs, so, y’know.)
It has almost nothing at all.
It has no cares in this world.
It has no love.
It has no mercy.
Ello has Ello.
AND SOON ELLO WILL HAVE YOU.
So, yeah, I’m on this weird new social network and it’s probably not a social network but is instead some kind of toxic hallucinogen that we’re all sharing — mumbling in the darkness of our tenement apartments in the year 2043, gnawing on Ello-Bricks and descending into the stark, elegant, buggy beta of a psychotropic mindshare ‘network.’ Regardless, I’m there, and it’s interesting if only because it’s not the other social networks and because sometimes the value in a thing is just that it’s not the other things. (That value cannot last, mind you.) Right now, I like Ello because it’s low pressure and I don’t even know who’s paying attention, so I’m mostly just fucking around, posting photos and also excerpts from unpublished work.
It’s invite-only, and I’ve no invites left,but some of you may, and feel free to use the comment section here to bounce invites around if so desired.
122 responses to “The Eyeless Gods Of Ello Are Smiling Upon You”
Are Ello users called Gov’nors?
I guffawed. For reals.
Chuck makes this sound irresistable! If anyone has a spare invite, I would greatly appreciate it. My email is: me (@) jasonmaynard (DOT) com
Many thanks in advance!
I want in! Puh-leeeze someone… send me an invite: firstname.lastname@example.org
I’ve been tiptoeing around Ello for about a week now and would love an invite! (somehow, invite-only always seems worth begging for… It better be to beg for!) email@example.com
I went on their site and it says they’re in beta and will send out new invites sometime soon, For me, that might not be soon enough. Please invite me. firstname.lastname@example.org
I seem to have posted as a reply in another comment and haven’t received one (I know they are quite coveted), so I’ll give it another go here: captaintemerity (at) gmail. com
Now that so many of the grouping here seems to be joining up, it makes the whole thing far more compelling. It’s gone from mild curiosity to me standing in the corner, biting my nails, hoping I get picked to be on one of the dodgeball teams.
And I just received it and am in! Thank you so much!
Dodgeball. Six decades later, the word alone still has the power to freeze my soul!
Same. It was a fun idea, but the execution… well, that’s actually a perfect word for it. Felt like some kids were legitimately trying to kill me.
Given that I’m on Ello to escape FB, I think we should be called Ellopers – or at least be saying we Elloped! -E-
ok i want in. human psyche – anything you can’t have, you want. please invite me!! email@example.com
None shall pass! Except you – I just sent you an invite. 🙂
Thanks so much!!
I’m in and I’ve got two invitations – email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you still need one.
Ah, I have struck out thrice the past week now, so if anyone happens to have an invitation to throw my way I’d be eternally grateful! r.t.allwin (at) mail.com
I’m still hoping that someone can send me an invite if they have one free – email@example.com – thank you 🙂
This sounds gloriously terrifying. I wish to be part of this bleak future. If anyone has an invite they could send to charles (dot) etheridgenunn (at) gmail (dot) com that would be amazing.
I want this. Tumblrs over saturated, Facebook sucks and who uses g+? I need an enabler. No I don’t have issues ouo,,,,,,,
Cluethewhite@gmail.com. I’ll be in touch owo
Make me One of youuuuuu anybody have an invite, I’d sure love to join you bunch of min-ellos!! mosesyearwood (at) gmail…..
I want in. jedira00 at gmail dot com.
An would be much appreciated, thanks. giants.cheese @ gmail.com
“Ello or death?”
If anyone has an invite handy, I would be ever so grateful. And happy. And sparkly. *****
Post damn you. I’d love an invite! Johann@pollard.co.za
I would also love an invite.
alexvdl @ yahoo.com
I would love an invite if anyone still has any available. cmscholz @ gmail.com
Thanks in advance, Charles
did you just listen to a bunch of night vale or something, because i have and so ello sounds completly normal.