Apple-Obsessed Author Fella

The Eyeless Gods Of Ello Are Smiling Upon You


do you know the unspoken frequency

I have, and I am on Ello.


Or an ELLOPOLAN or an ELLOFACE or an ELLO-DOER or whatever they’re called.

do you ello, bro

What is Ello, you ask?


Ello is the path.

Ello is the DARK SPHERE — it is EYELESS and MAD.


Believe in Ello.

Give it your viscera.

Ello is a social network.

It is as if Tumblr and Twitter and Facebook had a sterile European baby and that baby is possibly a sociopath and it doesn’t know how to walk or do much of anything except growup like, preternaturally fast and then as an adult it totally fucks an Ikea Billy Bookcase and shits out 10,000 business cards by an insane Norwegian typographer.

It is elegant and minimalist.

It is so minimalist it isn’t even minimalist, it’s just minmist or mmst.

Ello is like if I broke a typewriter over your head, and you were forced to communicate with everyone using only the shattered keys stuck in your soft uncooked hot dog flesh.

You are not its product.

You are its food.

It hungers.

Ello has no likes or +1s or retweets or reblogs or shares or any of those grim human distractions. Ello has only the terminator grace of a status update and the comment window. If you want to interact with an update and show your support you have to actually comment, like a human being, but like a human being who is also really sympathetic to robots, or is maybe just a replicant from Blade Runner or something.

Ello has FRIENDS and it has NOISE and it has nothing else.

You’re either my friend, you’re either noise, or you’re instead one of the foul ingredients that comprises the black abyssal gravy of total obscurity.

Everything is public. You cannot hide in Ellospace.

With its dead eyes, the smiling void will know you.

It has no circles or lists.

It has no analytics or hangouts.

(It does have emojis and animated GIFs, so, y’know.)

It has almost nothing at all.

It has no cares in this world.

It has no love.

It has no mercy.

Ello has Ello.



So, yeah, I’m on this weird new social network and it’s probably not a social network but is instead some kind of toxic hallucinogen that we’re all sharing — mumbling in the darkness of our tenement apartments in the year 2043, gnawing on Ello-Bricks and descending into the stark, elegant, buggy beta of a psychotropic mindshare ‘network.’ Regardless, I’m there, and it’s interesting if only because it’s not the other social networks and because sometimes the value in a thing is just that it’s not the other things. (That value cannot last, mind you.) Right now, I like Ello because it’s low pressure and I don’t even know who’s paying attention, so I’m mostly just fucking around, posting photos and also excerpts from unpublished work.

It’s invite-only, and I’ve no invites left,but some of you may, and feel free to use the comment section here to bounce invites around if so desired.