Loved this post.

This is how the conversation usually goes for me.

“Oh, you’re a writer, huh? What do you write?”
“Well… novels…”
“Cool, cool. Any that I would know of?”

External: “Heh, well, no i’m not published yet, I’m still in the editing process with this one”
The good intentioned shine goes out of the woman’s eyes. “No luck with the agents i take it?”
“Nope. Not yet… and as i said, still in the editing process so i havent tried in a couple years”
The “tsk tsk what a loser” look shines through. “Well, I had a cousin once who wanted to be a songwriter and she got her stuff critiqued by this guy in the business who told her that she wouldnt cut it because….” <goes on about whatever this cousin's problem is, point of which was "figure out what's wrong with your shit and fix it"
My eyes glaze over, trying not to shout yeah okay im kinda already doing that, thanks for the FYI.

Oh, and of course during this whole conversation she pronounces the word "Author" as "Arthur"

*eye twitch*

Needless to say I tend to keep that to myself.

hmm… seems a bit got left off of my post. *shrugs*

that was supposed to say Internal: not unless you raided my computer or my closet

So you’re a writer, huh?
Uh….yeah.
Well write somethin’ for me, purty boy.
It’s not like tha–
Whassa mattah, Mr Intoollekshual? You got writer’s cramps or something? Write me sumthin purty. A sonnet. A novella. How’s about an essay on the Inuit Diaspora?
What the–?
Hell, give me a haiku, bitch. Give me a haiku else I’ll fill ya full of lead. Go on.

It’s easy to write
It makes me feel like a whore
So is your mother

So that’s why I generally don’t tell people.

I am a fiction editor. So I get “Oh, you check for spelling mistakes and stuff.”

NO! NO THAT IS NOT WHAT MY JOB INVOLVES. Well, ok, yes, I do check for spelling mistakes. And stuff. But that “stuff” encompasses so much more than your puny brain can handle, I’m just going to nod away.

Writers? Ha! You guys got the easy job. I have to take your mound of half-digested …
what? Oh. Yeah, of COURSE I love you guys! Writers rule! And rock! BTFO! Keep sending me your delightful manuscripts that need hardly any work at all, really, just the occasional comma in the wrong place; it will only take me a couple of hours to fix up, tops.

Pet peeve:

“You write books? Yeah, well, I figure I’ll do that one day when I get the time.”

Closely followed by:

“You sold a book? Ooh! How much did you get?”

I don’t know creepy stranger man, how much do you make a year at your job? Oh, you don’t like me asking how much you get paid? Well, neither do I. Oh, and I think I’ll pick up one of those bachelor of whosamawhatchit degrees in my spare time, too. Yeah. That’s the ticket.

>>”That’s precious. A writer! Adorable. So, what’s your real job, again?”

As a freelance writer and aspiring novelist in my early 20′s, I get this a lot. When I meet new people, I’m always judged as a lazy-ass kid who probably dropped out of college so he can sit at home on the computer all day doing nothing.

Telling people that you’re a “writer” is probably on the same tier as saying you’re a “professional gamer” or “basement troll.”

I make money by working hard and doing what I love. That’s good enough for me.

Some members of my friends and family, bless their hearts, have a bad habit of seeing me on my computer while I’m writing and assuming that this, this is the perfect moment to show me a YouTube video, or ask me to look up something that Really Isn’t Important, or look up that one picture where the pony says something bizarre with a weird facial expression. Every time I end up asking them, “If I were at my office, sitting in my cubicle, would you be doing this?”

The answer is invariably no. Yet still it continues.

Dressing up in my slacks, shirt, and tie has helped a little bit, but I’m thinking I should hang a sign next to the dinner table (where I usually work – more room for the pretzel bag) or something. I’m open to suggestions!

/rant

I get a lot of polite nods.

On a stranger note, I couldn’t help but notice the parallels between telling people you are a writer and telling them you are a video game tester. (which I am)

Reactions include:
“Oh that doesn’t sound like work at all.” It is work. Especially when the game is My Little Pony or Stewart Little 2. It is very fucking much work.

“That sounds like my 6th grader’s dream job!” Thanks. I’m 39. Way to make me feel like the manchild I am.

As for the writing, I try really hard not to tell people. Most of the time they clearly don’t want to hear it. The small percentage say it’s “cool” and “I wish I could write a book” but don’t want to get into it any further.

I am lucky that I have a handful of close friends and a wife who all like to read and don’t seem to hate the stuff I write. Or at least they tell me they don’t hate it.

I need a drink.

Boss: I would very much like to have your permission to translate this post (with full credit, of course) for my readers and students (Im a writer from Mexico City) May I do that?

I, too, worry about developing killer blood clots from all the hours spent writing and editing. I obsess about my characters, story structure, dialogue — anything you’d tell us 25 Things about — like a goddamn crazy person. I’ve gotten my share of judge-pity when I tell people I was a creative writing major and loved every minute of it. But I have yet to finish anything I’ve started, so I’d probably annoy you just as much as your neighbor does. Really, really dying to get there, though. Right now, I guess I’m just a struggling, unfocused mudblood.

I dunno, I’m a journalist by training and am some kind of multimedia content producer at my current job. So all my writing training is in the non-fiction journalistic mode – and I’m not currently doing it for a living – and the most I’ve done as far as fiction is fanfiction. Does that count as a writer?

Most of the the time, non-writers ask me if newspapers are dying, or lecture me on how how the liberal media conspiracy is destroying the country, or how that one time that one reporter misspelled their name.

I’d probably just say “Fuck off loser” because being a writer is absolutely the best thing to be, and those who don’t get it are only half alive. Fuckin pen-muggles.

I like it when they look away when you tell them that you are a writer as if you just exposed yourself and they are hoping that no one else is looking.
or like Oldestgenxer, they keep asking to write stuff for them like you were a stand up comedian who went around making everyone laugh just because it’s your job description. Hey, look at me. I’m the funny guy, I tell jokes.
For the past two weeks, I have felt what you said, Chuck, always far away gone. Having livid dreams. Just because I’m trying to find ways to screw up with my characters. Then someone comes asking: Wanna hang out? Of course I do! Thanks for breaking my concentration!!!
I do like normal people though, they help me sometimes figure something with my characters I wouldn’t have, if I kept staring at the screen.

One of the great things about Melbourne is that it’s a city of art and writing. You tell someone you’re a writer, or a painter, or a poet or multimedia installation creator and they don’t tell you to get a real job, they take you seriously.

The problem with that is that they sometimes take you too seriously, and that you can be lionised for your hard work and achievements despite, well, not really having any. My two ebooks seem to be enough to impress people, land me profiles in local press and get me onto panels at festivals, and at times I want to protest that they should be setting the bar higher.

Too much respect starts to feel hollow after a while. Just like cocaine loses its flavour once your septum falls out.

–
Patrick

Yeeeeaaahhh, that’s pretty much it for us writer-folk. Love this post! Thanks.

Man, what a great post. I’ve encountered everything that Chuck mentions, to varying degrees. A lot of those kind of responses I had heard about from other writers and really thought they were some kind of authorly urban legend. Then I started getting them myself. Surreal.

One thing I’ve found is that a lot of people do seem to take a real interest and have a genuine understanding of what it is like to be a writer… right up until the point I mention it is science fiction. I was once engaged in a great conversation about writing with someone at my old office job, which went for nearly an entire lunch hour. Then, towards the end, the science fiction bomb was finally dropped, and the other person gave a strange, nervous laugh and practically stood up and walked out right then. It really felt like they thought I’d been spinning bullshit for the last hour, because science fiction isn’t real writing.

It was quite an eye-opener!

Great piece. And I for one will be using the term ‘Pen Muggle’ a lot more.

My conversations usually go as follows.

‘What do you do?’
‘I’m a writer.’
‘Oh, of what?’
‘Anything that pays, usually. Though mainly comics.’
‘Oh.’ pause. ‘So you draw comics?’
‘No. As I said, I WRITE comics. Words and art, two different things.’
‘Oh.’ pause. ‘So you write the words.’
‘No, I write the plot, the story, the characters, the descriptions of each panel. And yes, the dialogue, that you so sweetly call ‘the words.’
‘But you don’t draw it.’
‘No.’
‘Wow, I’d love to be able to draw. That’s so creative.’

Gah.

I get a weird variant on the awe reaction, much like Patrick above. People, especially those close to me, seem disproportionately proud of my feeble chicken scratches, and keep inciting me to do this full time and “become rich and famous”. My wife has a whole list of things we’re going to do when I’m “rich and famous”.

I wrote a book of children’s poems and had it published. I like it (obviously) but it ain’t Shakespeare. I’ve also written a teeny-tiny story in an art book and an article on sigil magick. I can write worth something vaguely approaching a damn, and I’m good for a pithy quip on twitter occasionally, but Stephen King I ain’t. Frankly, the thought of all the attention makes my head go a bit swimmy.

One day I might get my shit together and actually make a living out of this, but for the love of god, stop with the expectation! It’s like expecting your kid, who knows how to get from one end of the pool to the other, as long as he’s got a float, to be the next Michael Phelps…

For double-fun, tell someone you write…

Games.

You get a bevy of great reactions there.

“Like Monopoly?”

Yes, I wrote the GET OUT OF JAIL FREE card.

“Oh, so, video games.”

I have written video games, yes, but did I say video games? Video games are, as it turns out, only a subset of ALL OTHER GAMES.

My favorite: “I didn’t know games *had* writers.”

Yeah, no, they just spontaneously manifest themselves. GRAND THEFT AUTO was procedurally generated using marmot DNA and an old Casio keyboard. It grew like a fungal bloom.

It’s always amazing what short shrift writing gets, because nearly everything ever needs some degree of writing to achieve completion.

– c.

You’ve forgotten about the completely dismissive: “Oh, I have an idea for a novel, too – when I get around to writing it.” As if all it takes to write a bestseller is to squat down and take a massive dump on a stack of printer paper.

The first statement is quickly followed by, “And I have this awesome story idea! Maybe you could write it and we could share in the profits!” Which just proves that they have no freaking clue at all what it takes to actually write something because – Yeah! I’ll totally take your little maggot of an idea and do all the mind-bending struggle of giving birth to the whole concept and after that I’D TOTALLY BE WILLING TO SHARE THE PROFIT WITH YOU (given the, you know, 1% chance it actually got picked up by someone who’d pay for it).

Except, NO, I totally wouldn’t. Thanks for playing. Here’s your consolation prize of a punch in the throat!

Love it – great post!

What I’d LOVE but would never say….

To my non-writer unsupportive friends…which I actually dumped recently:

“You know, for me to actually get anywhere with this writing thing, I actually you know, need to WRITE. So, can you please stop asking me to go out and drink every night and stand around and do nothing when I could be writing, and please stop teasing me or calling me antisocial or a freak if I decline the invite. Thank you.

Oh, and you know that writing advice you keep giving me? About what I should or shouldn’t write about? Yeah. You know nothing about the writing business nor the current market. Just because you loved something doesn’t mean the whole world will. So how on earth do you know better about what I should write than me, who is actually keeping an eye on those things? Yeah, I don’t think so. Shut up.”

To my “writer” friends:

“You’re full of shit. You’re not a writer, you’re an accountant. You gave up. You don’t write only you’re inspired, only when you feel like it. It doesn’t work that way. Also, you won’t make a million dollars from one book alone. It NEVER works out that way. So stop acting like it’ll magically happen one day without any effort on your part at all.”

Actually, I like the reactions of strangers better than those that actually know me. They at least smile and are supportive. They ask what I write and they look impressed…I think. I could be making that up to protect my fragile ego…

As a former public sector penpusher working on arcane corners of transport legislation, I actually find explaining being a writer a lot easier to explain than my previous jobs.

It’s usually a friend who brings up that I write…followed by varying degrees of interest.

“What do you write?”

“I’m a technical writer. And I write other things on the side: magazine articles, Web content, and ebooks.”

“You make money doing that?”

Some people connect with the tech writing thing, and we talk about editing airplane manuals, writing procedures for a large financial firm, or the exciting world of corporate training. Others see the articles I’ve written as “real” writing, and everything else as boring. But most of the time, people talk about what they do.

“I’ve always wanted to write a book. I have an idea if you’re looking for your next book.” (Followed by weird dance of them talking about their great idea, but not really because it’s ‘such a great idea that I don’t want it stolen.’ They might talk about the small percentage of the cut they’ll give me when it becomes a big hit, and I excuse myself to go find something more potent than a beer.)

And then there’s always, “I’m working on a novel, too…” (And they proceed to tell me, in great detail, everything about the novel. Somewhere along the way it becomes clear that they haven’t really worked on the novel–they just talk about the book they’ll one day finish when they’re not so busy, have it all laid out, and are finally inspired.)

I suppose what really matters is my wife sees how hard I work back in my little study and appreciates that on most days we can have lunch together and run errands early in the afternoon before traffic gets bad. That makes it all worth it.

This post could not have come at a better time.

Just yesterday I got the “That’s precious. A writer! Adorable. So, what’s your real job, again?” attitude from someone I had just met, that lives around the corner from me. Lovely. Like feeling patronized by someone working in a cubicle at a grocery store.

And even more pathetic is this: LAST NIGHT, MY ENTIRE NIGHT, I dreamed of my main character of Exposing Dallas and the sequel I’m writing and HOW I COULD KILL HIM OFF BUT NOT REALLY. I dreamed of a lot of car accidents in one small area of a corn field, cops, and my character was there the whole time waiting for me to kill him in some weird freak accident.

Yesterday, I spent almost an hour trying to get my 1800′s cell phone to send a text message of ‘notes’ in my head (things I may have forgot to put in the current novel, and things I thought might be good ideas) to my email. I think my husband thought I was on another planet at the time. He could only reach me by radio transmission.

And no one will EVER understand what it’s like to be a writer, no matter how many posts you write about it. My husband still doesn’t get it and he deals with it how much of the day???? Exactly. We’re our own breed. (One that people seem to want to be for some strange reason).

ooo a soap box! Well I write erotic romance, so guess what I get most of the time – “Do you do all your own research?” – usually accompanied by a nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Happens that I write romantic suspense, too, and, you know, every time I need to discover if arsenic gives a victim gutsache and how long for, I have to go out and find someone to practice on.

I’m not what you’d call mega famous, but sometimes at conventions I get “Look, it’s Lynne Connolly!” I’ve turned around more than once, wondering where she is. Wonder if Steven King is schizophrenic by now. He must get it a million times more than me and in all kinds of unexpected places.

I have to explain to people that I don’t think in a straight line. I volunteered for analysis on how my mind operates once, and I’m almost completely a lateral thinker. I think sideways. That means I make connections that make me think I’m insane. Maybe I am.

This is why most of my friends are writers. I have to surround myself with people who GET it.

All of the above and more.

Family is no help either. I published a short story in a anthology and got copies for my grandmother, parents, and in laws. I ran out of copies and because it was online order only it wasn’t a real book.

I was at a dinner with my Jewish grandmother once with some distant relatives and they asked what I was doing with my life.

I said, “I work for in marketing for a major stroller company, and I just got published in a anthology.”

Did the anthology pay? No.

Oh, I’ve seen those strollers, very nice did you design them? No. I wrote the words that go in the manual, websites, and packaging.

Oh, so what is it you do again?

Alas, I believe the romance with writers is dead

Some of my scriptwriter geek friends and I have an unwritten rule not to discuss plot arcs, season finales, character development and parenthicals in dialogue around Normals, mainly to avoid being rude and blocking people from understanding the conversation, as if we’d all suddenly switched to going DAK DAK DAK like something out of Mars Attacks.

Some of them don’t get that and will gleefully start talking about midseason plot twists, quoting lines of dialogue or discussing the best way to kill off a popular character, and much as I love each and every one of my buddies, I do sometimes wince, glance the way of the now glazed-eyed Normals and secretly think ‘oh, man… I’m sorry.’

The best scenario is a bunch of writer geeks together, no outsiders, because then you can indulge yourself conversationally without feeling like you’re the weird kids who had to sit downstairs on the bus. Because we’re not the weird kids, damn it. We’re dreamers and storytellers, and we SHOULD be darn proud of what we do!

Just not in front of the grownups. They’ll look at us funny and make us cry.

Great post. Of course, like everyone else, I get a bit of all that you talked about. I think my “favorite” though is that, after people have found out I’m a writer, they are constantly “helping” me.

You know, every slightly funny, interesting, strange occurrence becomes something “that would make a great story” and that “I should write about.”

“Oh my God! Did you see that woman cut that guy off and almost make him crash? You should write a story about that!”

Me: “Well…you kinda just paraphrased the it all and…you know what? It’d be a shitty story without adding…um…everything to it.”

It seems hard for people to understand that every single thing that runs through their heads is not a fucking story. And I have enough of my own bad ideas that I don’t need to pile theirs on.

This one’s a bit specific to being a screenwriter, but one thing that always gets under my skin is when I explain to people I write movies and I get a look that says:

“Ah. So not a real writer then.”

Or, you know, in one or two cases had it said outright to my face. Those by people who wrote prose. The prevailing feeling seems to be that writing for the movies doesn’t count, or is somehow easy because I don’t have to write that much description.

I think I must be in the minority of your readership, because I’m not at a point where I’d consider myself “a writer” – meaning, as in naming a profession or vocation. I’m a paper-pushing Desk Jockey to get the bills paid (exxxxcelllent benefits in the public sector….er, for the time being…:-/), and I write here and there, to get practice (because Dear Jesus do I need the practice!) and to connect with people who consider themselves writers. I figure they probably have some good advice and a thing or two to teach me. Like this Chuck Wendig person, for example…

But for now it’s I guess more of something I do for the fun of it. I would like to find a way to make writing a larger part of my life but I suppose I haven’t been quite creative enough in my thinking to be at that point yet. I’ve been looking into different places to submit fiction, but I also have thought recently about seeking out a little side work in technical writing.

Maybe someday I’ll be able to answer the dreaded “So what do *you do*?” question with something other than “I fix things for people whose advanced educations preclude them from being able to fill out forms correctly.”

Why did you crawl inside my head and write my thoughts on your blog? and then some.
People; family and friends just don’t get it. Husband uses the word literary when he wants to get up my nose. But I have started to use it against people I don’t like eg do you mind if I model my next ‘ruthless killer sex fiend’ character on you/ your daughter etc. Sends them scurrying….usually. Except for the weirdos.

“You should get your book on Oprah!!”

Oh god, I get all of that, only instead of Stephen King, it’s J.K. Rowling. I can’t even… No. I can’t even.

Also, someone told me years ago they wanted to write a cookbook for teens, and I offered help to find an agent. Her response was – wait for it – “Oh, don’t be ridiculous. I don’t need an agent. I did an English degree. Publishers will lap me up.”

What.

For me it usually happens in one of two ways, depending on whether I’m talking about my day job or not.

SCENARIO 1: DAY JOB

Them: “So what do you do?”
Me: “I’m a technical writer.” (day job)
Them: “So what does a technical writer, you know, do?”
Me: “Well, a tech writers do a lot of different things. I write service documentation for mass spectrometry and liquid chromatography instruments and systems.”
*Their eyes start to glaze over*
Me: *sigh* “I write stuff that tells other people how to fix things.”
Them: “Oh, well that doesn’t seem so hard.”
Me: “I need to know more mass spectrometers and liquid chromatography systems than the people using them, and the people using them are usually PhD-level graduates in tough scientific fields.”
Them: “Right, but how had can it be, really? I mean, you just write stuff, right?”
Me: *stab*

SCENARIO 2: THE WRITER THAT LIVES INSIDE ME

Them: “So what do you do?”
Me: “I’m a writer.”
*there’s a beat here as they assess whether I look like a writer or not*
Them: “Oh, okay. What do you write about?”
Me: “Well, I write fiction, mostly. Usually near-future science fiction.”
Them: “Oh, like Star Wars?”
Me: “Uh, no, not quite.”
Them: “Oh, so Star Trek or something like that.”
Me: “Closer, but no. Did you ever see [insert recent film that fits in the genre, because I know they've never read a single book beyond high school].”
Them: “Oh, no. That looked dumb.”
Me: “Okay then. Let me put it this way. I write about the future, but the future that might happen a few years or decades from now.”
Them: “Why would you want to do that?”
Me: “I find it interesting and enjoyable, mostly.”
Them: “Does anybody read that sort of stuff? I mean, anybody can be a writer, right? Why wouldn’t you write something that people want to read? you know, like Twilight or Harry Potter or something?”
Me: *stab*

The natural followup would be the POV of the spouse who lives with said writer and has to field endless bizarre conversations relating to said writing.

My hubby would LOVE to see “What It’s Like Being A Partner to A Writer.” Oh, yeah, partner is right! We’re both in this basement together!

The situation as described above is complicated further when I say that I write RPG material as well, but I think Chuck covered that pretty well above.

@Brandy:

I totally get where you’re coming from. I’m completely with Chuck here in terms of writing to get paid. The workman nature of the writing job, and how we should think of ourselves as craftsmen, who work every day at what we do.

At the same time, I also am with Robert Rodriguez, who said (paraphrasing): You don’t need some kind of special organization to give you a card that says you’re a filmmaker. Are you working on a film?

Congratulations. You’re a filmmaker. Go get some business cards printed.

It’s the scared or confused looks when I share a piece I want feedback on.
“It’s so dark, are you depressed?” –Probably, but that has nothing to do with the story.

“You wrote something mean/evil/racist/politically ‘wrong’/etc, why would you think things like that? Do you really believe ‘insert some random thought’?” –No, the CHARACTER believes that. My fiction is NOT entirely based on my real life or real thoughts. *whispers* that’s what makes it FICTION.

You nailed it! Great post.

I get a lot of “Oh, so you’re a technical writer? That doesn’t sound too hard.” Even after I describe the cutting edge, National Science Foundation-funded project I work for that only brilliant minds at the forefront of their fields are likely to use and for whom I create the technical manuals by learning both the technology and the science and translating between them. Sigh.

Well, I write other things, too. Magazine articles, those two books I wrote about Moroccan culture where I translated stuff from Arabic into English and used them to discuss arcane cultural tidbits that most foreigners never learn… “So, you take other people’s ideas and turn them into books?” Aargh.

I’m glad Christopher and James posted. I feel less alone.

I know this conversation from a slightly different angle: I write as a hobby. So when people ask me “what do you like to do in your free time?” I can answer one of two ways: “I sit hunched over my computer for hours on end for much of my free time and read history books about culture and society” (which is technically true) or the slightly less vague “I write.”

What happens next is the usual back and forth about what-do-you-write I-write-about-dead-gay-boyfriends/kittens/wizards etc, followed–always, always–by this:

“Have you been published?” OR “So are you going to get something published?”

Okay, nebulous non-writer person, let me tell you what: Sure! I’d love to get something published eventually if the cards fall that way, or if I get off my butt and finish something I’d like to self-publish. At some point, yes, I will try! If for no other reason than it’s on my bucket list. But I’m not in a hurry to do it. I have a full-time job. I like my job. I don’t need to be published to enjoy writing. I don’t need to be published to feel fulfilled by writing.

When you say you play with your dog in your free time, I don’t ask you when you’re going to quit your job and become a dog trainer or a veterinarian, or if you have professionally-produced video of you and your dog to prove it, or if you will show me RIGHT NOW.

So yes, then you get the look, the nod, and the polite smile. It’s like if they can’t quantify your writing with a physical product, even if you tell them that’s not really what you’re focused on at the moment, you’re not a “real” writer to them. You’re a POSEUR.

Nebulous non-writer person, I am still a writer, even when I haven’t written a word for six months. I will always be a writer even if no one ever pays me for my work. I will always be a writer, no matter what. The authorial virus has no cure.

Luckily I can derail this conversation now by pointing out that I wrote freelance for a website for a while, but STILL.

(I build entire worlds from nothing but the sparking of random neurons! I AM GOD! I breathe life into man, woman, and creature for my own amusement and I can take it away on a whim! And what do YOU do in your free time? Your dog? Oh, that’s cute.)

So here are the things I’d like non-writers to know:

1) Every writer is a special snowflake with a different goal. We do not all want to write the next NYT bestseller or Great American Novel. And that is really, really okay and you shouldn’t judge us for that choice.

2) No, I am not “writing” every time I am typing. Okay technically I am. Or technically not, because I’m not holding a pen; I’m typing. Now I am confused. But I’m not Writing writing just because I’m typing.

3) I am an Observer. I like to watch people. This doesn’t mean I’m a creep, unless you count cataloguing people’s actions and speech rhythms for my own future reference as creepy. It’s not like I know where they live. Or want to. Unless it would be an interesting place to write about? Then maybe. >_>

4) No, I am not going to write a book about your hilarious workplace. No one wants to read about your miserable job. They read to escape that bullshit. (Former coworkers, I am talking to you.)

This is not what you asked for, but. I don’t consider myself a writer – not like you are, anyway. I do write on my blog and I write book reviews (for MONEY, which is awesome) and maybe someday I will write a book; I would like to. But it would be nonfiction. I have no ability to do Creative Writing. So, if I’m a writer, which I’m not sure I am, I’m not the kind of writer you are mostly writing to, here.

But! I am a librarian, and we have some things in common, like: when people ask what I do and I tell them, they often say “oh how CUTE! do we still have libraries?” or “oh, that’s great! so you just read for a living!” They are also usually astonished to learn that it takes a master’s degree. I just saw some similarities there and thought I’d share. Also working in a bike shop… “oh, what a cool job, you get to ride bikes all day” (WHAT? who told you that’s what working in a bike shop meant?) …maybe my point here is, many jobs are misunderstood and underestimated.

Not that you aren’t special (or especially misunderstood!) though. Without writers, I daresay you would need neither librarians nor book reviewers. So thanks.

Oh Gods, I get this too. I, however, have no qualms whatsoever about being truthful (read: snarky).

THEM: “And what do you do?”
ME: “Primarily, technical writer.”
THEM: “What’s that?”
ME: “Oh, I translate instructions from ‘Dev’, ‘Marketing’, and ‘Code’ into something people like you can read.”
*CUE DEAFENING SILENCE*
ME: “You know, stuff like instructions, for when people *think* they’re smart enough to do stuff without reading the manual, but then need it after breaking it or nearly formatting their computers or something?
*DEAFENING SILENCE CONTINUES, FOLLOWING BY A SLIGHTLY GUILTY BLUSH*
ME: “Yep, someone’s gotta write that stuff. That’s me. Pays well, too.”
*DEAFENING SILENCE CONTINUES, THEN THEY SLOWLY RECOVER LIKE A FISH TOSSED BACK INTO WATER*
THEM: “Oh… what… else do you write?”
ME: “Smut.”
*CUE HORRIFIED DEAFENING SILENCE*
ME: “And sometimes instructions for that, too.”

I’ve seen people leave vapor trails as they flee.

I second everything you and the subsequent commenter have said. I am a massage therapist by day (writer extraordinaire at night, like a Lady Batman. Instead of fighting crime, I fight the blank page).

When most of my clients find out I am a writer, they always ask what sort of books I write. I say fantasy. This is invariably met with “Oh, like Harry Potter?” (Yes. Just like Harry Potter. An entire genre is devoted to one book series.) or worse since I live in the Bible belt, I get a lecture about how magic isn’t real, blah blah blah. Yeah, I know it’s not real. I am the one making it up, remember?

The best part is when the client proceeds to tell me their life story and how it would make a great book. No seriously, telling me about your crazy life doesn’t mean you’re memoir-gold. Promise.

Or when they tell me they have a great idea and how I could write the book and we’d share the profits, like Kiara talked about. Like the idea is the hard part, and I am just going to jot down the next Great American Novel during my lunch break.

Chuck, I also wanted to tell you thanks for the penmonkey paean. I have the wallpaper on my desktop, and with the help of the Paean and my writer friends, I have finally finished my rewrite. I thought at times the book was going to kill me, but I have FINALLY finished the shit I started. I was tempted at times to give up. But I kept saying “I will finish the shit I started.” (over and over like a crazy person…it might be written all over my walls at this point). So thanks!

@James Knevitt: I LOVE near-future science fiction! It’s such an under rated genre. Have you read “Shelter” by Susan Palwick?

Two favorites, first my dad:

“A writer? You’re a writer? Who said you could be a writer?”

Me: You did, Dad. Who else is going to know all there is to know about you. Excuse me, I need to take some notes.

And this quote, though not an exact quote : “Writer, huh? Listen pal, we’re all writers. Most of us learned to write in first grade; most of us moved on.”

My favorite: “You write a blog no one cares about. If they did you’d have money offers. Just because you have a hundred thousand hits doesn’t mean anything. It’s probably just you logging in to build the base.”

Me: “Thanks, honey. I think I’ll post a four part series on spouses of writers with your picture. I’ll get the camera, you straddle the broom and wear this pointy hat.”

Wife: “Get a real job. Costco is hiring.”

Me: “I’ll be in my room.”

Wife: “Would it kill you to pick it up once in a while? The cleaning lady’s coming tomorrow. She can organize your mess.”

Me: “It’s not a mess.”

Wife: “You live in a dream world. Wake up.”

Me: “I love you too. Let’s play a game of Hollywood producer and Starlet.”

Wife: “What’s that, one of your writing games?”

Me: “Get under the desk and I’ll explain the rules.”

@Julia I appreciated your response. I’m currently in an MLIS program, about 2/3 of the way through, and I’m also tired of the “oh, so which library are you going to work in?”, the answer to which is that I may possibly never work IN the kind of library people are thinking of again. And don’t you love “Oh, you need a Master’s degree to check out books to people?” I was as annoyed as everyone else by Seth Godin’s recent post about libraries and librarians. MAYBE 50 years ago you could go into librarianship because you just “liked books” (but I doubt it), but today, you need strong analytical skills and tech skills. Alas, I don’t think some of my classmates understand that. Anyway, yeah. I’m not an author. I’ve had a story published. I write. But I rarely talk about it with people who are not of the tribe.

Also, I teach water aerobics. In fact, I teach INCREDIBLY ASS-KICKING water aerobics. “Oh, so you teach swimming?” “No, I kick your ass. Mostly while vertical in the water.” “Oh, so that’s for old people.” “Not the way I teach it although I do have older students”. But what SLAYS ME on a mostly daily basis are the students I have who are TEACHERS who come into my aquatic classroom and behave in exactly the way they would never tolerate in students in THEIR classrooms. Because, I’m not a real teacher. And learning about exercise isn’t real learning. I mean, everybody just knows how to do it, right?

WRONG.

[...] has said what I’ve often thought far better than I could ever phrase it…so go read his blog entry on what it means to be a [...]

If they are condescending, like writing a novel is easy, I just ask to see the book they wrote. Usually puts it in perspective for them. Though,truthfully, I usually get some admiration and they tell me how I’ve inspired them. That more than makes up for the ones that don’t get it.

Oh lordy I love me this post. And in truth, one of the responses I get most often is the ‘you’re from another planet, aren’t you?’ look. Sometimes that’s mingled with the ‘you’re one of those people on the fringe of society, like Trekkers and Furries’ looks.

Thank God I’ve got the best family; they know better than to interrupt me when I’m writing. Only exceptions are fires and earthquakes.

I get a double dose of, “Wow you just need to get a real job.” When I tell people I’m a writer and have to answer that no, I’m not published yet (without going into the lurid story of my flake of an ex-agent), they inevitably ask, “So what else do you do?”

I am a stay-at-home-mom.

‘Oh, so you’re just lazy and living off your husband,’ is the look I get. I’d like to see anyone try to write a novel (a good one, by the way) and manage a household and educate and entertain a small human being while simultaneously NOT just plopping said tiny human in front of PBS for 8 hours a day.

Can I just say that I’m thrilled that my daughter will go back to school next week because it means I get to actually WRITE again? I swear, that child has a spider sense that lets her know if I even THINK of opening a word document and it’s that that moment that she wants to do physics experiments with me.

Anywho, it’s not easy to be one of us. You’ve got these stories taking up your brain power, you’re trying to make them not only good, but better and marketable and go on about your daily business at the same time. It’s not like walking and chewing gum. And if you’re doing edits? Please, when I do edits I’m lucky if my brain doesn’t assume the consistency of tapioca pudding and twitch in response to yes/no questions.

I wish writing/creating burned calories. Then someone might believe it’s work. (And I’d be buff.)

“Unlike a lot of writers you may have heard about, I am almost always sober and wearing pants.”

Sweet fancy java. THANK YOU.

I’ve often gotten the, “So, have you published a novel yet?” question. Or the “Why don’t you have an agent?” question. As if those things can be procured at freakin’ Wal-Mart.

These questions always happen right after I’ve had a story rejected or something. Or I’m stuck on a plot point, and I’m convinced that a monkey with a typewriter could form more coherent sentences. Which means I’m already extra-snarky.

I have a friend who asks about my writing, sometimes. But it always ends up in the same place — with her, talking about how she wants to be a writer, but doesn’t have the time. Because you know, I manufacture time in my basement. Where I also keep the Inspiration Fairy chained up.

Which is another thing: getting asked about inspiration. Or “Why did write that?” The last one is usually accompanied by a disapproving look. Because the story has a few questionable elements. Surely, I could write about unicorns frolicking instead?

Sure, I’m a little out there, sometimes. I hear an ice cream truck drive by, playing what amounts to an unnameable but creepy song — and I think, “That’d be a really good beginning for a story.”

*breathes* Well, I feel better now. Because it’s good to talk about this stuff, instead of getting lost in a sea of “I don’t get it” looks. Good post. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need more coffee and to kick the crap out of my word count.

I’m such a wuss. I always admit to the paying job first and just slip in the writing thing after, when I don’t think they’ll notice.

“I teach writing at a college. Sometimes I do some of my own.”

“Really? Where do you teach?”

I’d rather answer that question than, “Oh, have you written anything that I would know?”

This is a recounting of a conversation I had with the lady (stranger) that sat next to me at the final Harry Potter film.

Lady: “Oh, my husband has read all of the books – not me!” She laughs. “He keeps telling me to, but I dont really read.”
Me: “Well, the books are amazing, the movies do a good job, but if you’re such a big fan, you should try.”
Lady: “Maybe some day. So, do you like the Twilight movies?”
Me: “No, actually I think the Twilight movies are horrible. Some dialogue should only ever be read, not actually spoken out loud. One it’s said out loud you realize how lame and cheesy it is.”
Lady: “Oh, wow, so you’ve read the Twilight books too?”
Me: “Yes, before it became this creepy craze.”
Lady: “So you read, like, a lot?” (mind you these are the only two series we’ve talked about)
Me: “Yeah, my family is full of readers, I grew up reading and now I write.”
Lady: “Oh, my god! You write?! That is great! What do you write?”
Me: “Right now? Young adult, fantasy or paranormal if you like.”
Lady: “So, kinda like Twilight?”
Me: Eye twitch
Lady: “That is so good. We need more writers out there because there are just NO good books anymore! And that’s why there are no good movies anymore!”

People have told me the last Harry Potter was fantastic, I’m not sure if it was because at that moment my head exploded even as her husband was rolling his eyes behind her back.

I was recently trapped between a New Zealander and a Sicilian who both thought writing was ZoMG so freaking cool. They basically interviewed me at this bar where all I was really interested in was nursing my whiskey and writing (!) a story on my iPad. Maybe it’s how famous people fell, I dunno. The NZer was disappointed I wasn’t more enthusiastic about my job. I mean it is a cool job but that shit is hard, you know?

I love all of these stories and reactions.

I should make clear that my wife is not among the, erm, Pen-Muggles. She is very supportive despite believing me certifiably insane.

– c.

Even nerdier – writing about video games for a living…or worse, video game CULTURE. Hoo Boy. People act like I’m either Jesus Christ Gamer God incarnate or a total leper-freak-wierdo. Good times.

But it does help writing for the more well-known print and web outlets. Most folks have at least seen Nintendo Power on the news stands, so I usually use that one as the ice breaker.

I’m not a full-fledged penmonkey yet. I’m more of an aspiring penmonkey. Apprentice penmonkey? Penlemur maybe? Anyway, my writing still needs work.

Right now to get my daily practice in, I’m writing what boils down to glorified fanfiction. It isn’t even real fanfiction because I only borrowed the setting and the world rules. My original characters started off as RPG characters/NPCs set in those settings. They are my little puppets that I make dance as I work out my issues with description, dialog, plot, and prose.

Since the stories are nothing more than practice and a way to amuse myself and my gaming group, sometimes motivation is hard to find. Oh look, the newest episode of Whiskey Shore is on! Must write. Hey, when did that bowl grow legs? Must… write. Oh, you want me to come out, get away from the house, and see the sun? But the sun is trying to kill me and I haven’t quite figured out how this character dies yet!

To Pen-Muggles, I would say STOP INTERRUPTING ME! Do I interrupt you practicing your sports; your cooking; your artsy-fartsy, dear god what is that thing, crafts; or your chronic masturbating? Well I didn’t mean to. Lock the damn door. Leave me alone and let me play wordsmith for a while! I can’t come out to play until I’ve reached my word count.

To Penmonkeys, don’t let the penmuggles get you down. A lot of professions get the shrug off. Oh, you’re a preschool teacher? So you just play with kids all day? Oh, you’re an accountant? So you just play with numbers all day? Oh, you’re a musician? It must be nice to just sit around and play music all day. Oh, you are a retail slave at a Toy Store? So you just play with toys all day? Oh, you’re a female small business owner in the area of automobile accessories? So, you just answer the phone? (And all of those are followed up by “Can you watch my kids for free?”, “Can you do my taxes for free?”, “Can you play at a party I’m having for free?”, and “Can you give me a discount?”)

No respect I tell ya. No respect!

“Oh, you’re a writer. That’s great! I just love to read. What to you write?”

“Romance.”

“I love romance! Can I read one of your books?”

“Sure. Go to Amazon, Smashwords, B&N, etc”

“Oh well, I thought maybe you had a copy on hand that you could give me.”

“Give?”

“Yeah. I mean, it’s not like any work went into writing the book or anything. You sat down and typed out the novel in a couple days, maybe even a couple weeks. Then you published it the very next day. How hard can this hobby be?”

“Hmm…. Hobby, huh? When you go to your hobby, do you get paid?”

“I don’t understand what you mean?”

“Well, that place you spend your time at? You know, taking care of customers or relating to the person you call boss. Do you get a paycheck or do you do your few little hours there for free?”

“I don’t see what that has to do with anything?”

“No? Of course not. Because writers don’t need to eat, pay bills, live in a house, or have family to support. We exist in a little spot on the planet where we never need money for anything.”

(I really hate the cheap people of the world, as you can tell. Nothing says we don’t work more than a person who doesn’t value our work enough to pay for it.)

Great post, by the way.

[...] His latest is no exception: “What It’s Like Being a Writer“ [...]

@Chuck
Same here. My wife is incredibly supportive.

The best thing a spouse can do to support a writer is to provide space and understanding.

The best things a writer can do to support their spouse is to not be lazy and not be deluded.

When you’re a writer, and I mean when you really have that deep-seeded need to be a storyteller, to pull hapless mortals into your world, to make characters dance, dammit… When you’re a writer, no other job satisfies.

You can try. You can show up early, stay late, go to lunch, go out for drinks, laugh, joke, flirt, buckle down and work with all sorts of people in all sorts of dayjobs… but at the end of the day, when you’ve got it bad, you’ve got it bad and there ain’t nothing for it but to right.

That’s been my experience, anyway.

(There’s a slip, there. I meant there’s nothing for it but to write. Right? Right.

Not a Freudian slip. Gotta come up with something else.

Wendigian slip?)

Shit Chuck, you think THAT’S bad, try telling people you’re a stay-at-home dad.

-G.

That rhymed Chuck. And you KNOW that rhymed.

This. Was. Awesome.

I used to work in pediatric nursing before I quit to write full-time. I keep the license up and still go in from time to time-it’s nice to talk to real people, instead of the imaginary ones. And every once in a while, I’ll get these questions…

“are you still working on your book?” There’s never just one…but yes, I’m still working. haven’t won the lotto yet, soooo….

“so, do you still write? you write…kids’ books, right?” Um. No. I’m a romance writer. Then I see THAT look in their eyes. I’m in my scrubs, doing a very mundane job and you can almost see that jittery vibe…it’s…well. Writers know that look-yes, I write about romance so naturally that means I’m sex-starved or a sex fiend, right? better not mention the romantic suspense books… then I’m really in trouble. I’ll be a sex-starved, sex-fiend serial killer.

You know what I want them to know? I want them to know that I bleed for my work. Yeah I write hot, steamy sexy romances but I bleed. Internally I agonize over every word, sentence, character, plot and title I put out. That’s my fucking name on a page with a price tag that says Buy me.

So I sit in a chair all day long and yes I’m probably on twitter, promoting. Or helping other authors. Who need to bleed, not vomit or other obnoxious bodily functions as the stories come from the HEART. So excuse me if I get a little violent occasionally and threaten to rip your head off in a story and dance it around a fire as a sacrifice. Because I’m busy writing something that makes others feel emotions I can’t. Or won’t allow myself.

Oh and did I mention I write people I know into my books? Usually the murder scenes…

I know the feeling. That’s why, until I have something published, I’m just gonna keep telling people I’m a stay-at-home Dad. It’s what Frederick Buechner would call “a version of the truth.”

When asked what I do for a living, I give them a double-barreled response: “I’m a writer and an artist.”

To which the person blinks stupidly and says, “Oh, what do you write?”

“Steampunk, urban fantasy and paranormal romance.”

Which gets me the blank stare that means they have no idea what “steampunk” is and “fantasy” and” romance” means “geeky sex fiend.” So they move on to my other career. “So what kind of art do you do?”

“Metal art. I work primarily in steel. It’s a great media. I get to work with awesome tools like a plasma torch. And a welder.”

Person looks at me like I’ve grown Hellboy-style horns. “Oh, uh…my sister paints. Oils.”

“That’s nice,” I say, knowing the conversation is only going to get more awkward. Need an out. “What’s that noise? Oh, crap. Gotta go. My cat’s on fire, again.”

What Jamie Wyman said. Because taking care of four kids and writing a novel while editing another novel = doing nothing all day.

My favorite conversation:
Brother-in-law: She could totally take you at Scrabble.
Inebriated Party Guest: Nuh-uh. I’m great at Scrabble
BIL: Yeah, but she’s a writer.
Followed by twenty minutes of IPG trying to comprehend how anyone could write a novel that she couldn’t immediately go buy at the nearest B&N. Because don’t they just appear there when you type The End?

My favorite question:
Pen-Muggle: So, who are you going to get to publish your book?
As if I only need to choose and all manner of literary good will and fortune shall be showered upon me.

Count me among those with supportive spouses. (He still looks at me funny when I talk to myself, though.)

@Marlan – I feel your pain. My husband used to be a video game tester and got moved temporarily from his usual area (first person shooters) to a Barbie product some years back. It was funny to me for all of five seconds until I saw the “shoot me now” look in his eyes. Even the shooters were work. Testing Barbie, however, was like a personal assistant suddenly learning that instead of answering the phones for a living (s)he shall now be responsible for cleaning the boss’ toilet. Yay for that.

Generally speaking though – the thing I’d like to tell non-writers is that YES IT CAN TAKE YEARS TO FIND AN AGENT AND NO THAT DOESN’T MEAN MY WRITING STINKS. When people learn that you’re working on a second manuscript (or in my case, a third) and that you realize the early one was a learning experience but this one you’ll be taking to agents seeking representation, they look at you the same way they look at a three-legged dog with no teeth. “What a pity. We should really put it out of its misery.”

I’ll be in the corner…butt in the chair…proving them wrong.

Great post. Excellent rant. One thought- it might be good to scare people. Remind them that it is unwise to screw a writer over. We live to get the last word, hahaha. Also, you can carry a manuscript around. non-readers may impressed by the sheer weight of the thing. Works for me. People tend to be quicker to pay you or fawn over you that way. Don’t worry. The last thing anyone (even your own family) will want to do is to actually read it.

“Do any other careers earn this reaction? “OMG I’M AN ACCOUNTANT TOO. I sit at home and budget out how much money I have for weed and Doritos. And when inspiration strikes, I balance my checkbook.””

YES. Why do people have to pretend they want to be writers, when the only thing they wrote was two pages of a novel five years ago? There’s no shame in not being nor wanting to be a writer. There are plenty of professions that I admire but have no desire to be a part of myself.

What (some) non-writers (or want-to-be-writers) fail to understand is that writing is verrrry time-consuming. It eats up your time. All of it. Especially if you have kids/a day job/both. People start thinking you’re an asshole because you can’t keep your house clean & you turn down multiple social engagements. Even if you accept an offer to a social engagement, you have difficulty engaging in conversation about regular things. You can’t discuss “Breaking Bad” because you spend your evenings writing, not watching TV (or cleaning). You don’t even know what “Breaking Bad” is until it comes up in conversation & you ask, “What is Breaking Bad?” and the record scratches & everyone present turns to stare at you.

The misconception that writing is easy and quick work, I think, stems from the fact that most people have written SOMETHING at one point or another, whether it was a status update or a thank-you letter or a shitty essay you dashed off at the last minute for your high school comp class, and all of these are easy if you make them easy. Bad writing is quite easy, so people get the idea that ALL writing is easy. That shitty essay, after all, earned you a B+ (not because it was above-average but because all the other essays were god-awful.) But GOOD writing? Writing that people actually want to read (and, maybe, even pay you for)? THAT is painstaking, and it takes a helluva lot longer to polish than that shitty B+ essay.

When I was in school to become a psychologist, my friends and family were suspicious of me because they thought that I was constantly watching them and psychoanalyzing them. Now that I’m a writer, they’re suspicious of me because they think that I’m constantly watching them so that I can use things that they do and say in future books.

I sort of want to be offended, but… I do both of those things. All the time. But I’m not creepy, I swear!

*clutches coffee mug and hides behind laptop*

You get this whenever you do something a little out of the norm: I was a nightclub bouncer for awhile and what I was constantly asked was: “So you beat people up for a living?”

No, but I was often tempted to indulge in a little after hours face punching, mostly when people asked me that….

Same with writing, because they haven’t done what you do other people have no idea what you go through to get it done. They don’t know about the anxiety (must write, or bear will eat me), the anger (dear brain, don’t make me come in there) or the sheer hard work that goes into even one page of something good.

Most people aren’t as stupid as they seem (don’t get me wrong some people are even worse than they first appear – but they’re rarer than you think) it’s just that they don’t get what it’s like to hang on to your dream even if it’s really, really hard. Because they didn’t.

So, next time you’re confronted with one of these guys/girls/other just tell them what you typically go through to get even a chapter done. You’d be surprised how many people will actually understand if you take the time to explain it to them.

Of course if it doesn’t work there’s always face punching to fall back on, use the heel of your hand so you don’t break your knuckles on their thick, thick skulls.

Don’t take this the wrong way, Chuck, but I find it a tad scary that you *get* me more than my own parents.

@Jami

I AM YOUR FATHER

…

Okay, probably not.

– c.

THANk YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. I was wondering if I was alone, lol. Certainly my family thinks I need a “real job.” I do some freelance writing online and no matter how many times I explain it to them, they just can’t seem to grasp the fucking concept. Hence my surprise when we visited my extended family in rural Mississippi, who are all apparently closet sci-fi/fantasy fans. They were all, “You write? COOL! Email me your articles! Let me know when you publish a book or something!!”

Me: Supportive family? Hell to the WHAT?

My mother asks me this question every once in a while: “So when are you going to finish the book and pay for my retirement?” She’s joking. I think. I hope…

Other HUGE pet peeve that I hate: People who are not writers *cough*MY DAD*cough* trying to give you “advice.” Like, “have you ever considered getting an agent?” (Yes; I am staking out their house so I can abduct them when I finish my MS.) “What about doing your own website?” (Way ahead of you there…AND it has ADS. Which I have earned NO money on, before you ask.) “What about building a social network?” (Do you even know what a ‘social network’ is, Man Without A Facebook?)

And the killer: “What about getting a fucking JOB?” (But the recession!!!)

Chuck, thanks for this. You had me laughing and nodding my head in agreement from start to finish.

Sounding off, eh? What do I want them to know? I want them to know that THIS

First, I want them to know that the above was me finding the “enter” key way too blasted soon. *sigh*

Second, I want them to know that THIS WRITING “THING” IS NOT A PHASE. It is not going to Go Away Once Courtney Has Babies. I applaud writers who have babies. I hope someday to be a writer who has babies. BUT just because I have babies does NOT mean I am going to quit writing.

I wish people could get that through their skulls. Oh, and I’d also like them to know that telling me “I’m gonna read your book!” is not anywhere near the same thing as “I’ve read your book.” Don’t get my hopes up. Either read the darn thing or tell me flat out you ain’t gonna. Don’t string me along.

That is all. Thanks for the sounding-off opportunity, Chuck. : )

Menial/manual labor leave my thoughts free to wander the labyrinth of my mind. My inner self becomes a bored child rooting about in my skullspace for christmas presents, only to uncover the psychological equivalent of parental sex toys, firearms, coke caches, and worse.

I pull out my psychic razor and slice open the duct tape keeping closed an ephemeral box labeled ‘do not open ever you prick.’ Hands reach in and pull out all the reasons why the human race should be euthanized.

Very compelling reasons; ones that make me wish to materialize that psychic razor and make the red flow.

This is why I can NOT have a normal job. A normal job bisects myself into the part that does what I should do, and the part that does whatever I damn well please. With the former distracted by that normal job, the latter wanders and drifts until it latches onto my omnicidal instinct.

Sigmund Freud postulated the Thanatos complex: a personality component that was focused solely on destruction and mayhem. While he has long ago been dismissed as a hack, I can’t help but think that he of all people figured out why I want to snap the neck of every infant I see, and why I can only think of that as a good deed.

Hence why I want to turn to writing. Writing keeps those two parts of me integrated and focused on a single task. Writing allows me to spill all the blood and break all the bones that I would ever want to.

The thing I seem to get most regularly is advice. They want to give me advice. They want to out their arm around me and tell me about ebooks, and how the industry is going to work, and what the future of the business holds, and how best to make money.

And I tell them, “huh, that’s really cool. You know, i should get you to talk to my agent. And all my colleagues in the writing community. And a couple of publishers that i’m on good terms with. And some booksellers. Because all of us think the industry is a bit of a crap shoot that’s never moved past the wild west, but you clearly know how it works.”

Okay, i act like a dick to them.

I’m not the nice polite guy when it comes to these things, if I’m honest. If someone is saying something dumb about writing, I let them know it.

Last year i got dragged over hot coals by my boss at the day job, “This writing thing of yours,” he said, “is it serious?”

I asked, “what do you mean?”

He went on, “well you know, i mean, is it s higher priority for you than working here?”

“Well, i wouldn’t say it’s an issue of priorities. I work here 49-50 hours a week, then i go home and write.”

“Sure, but what i mean, is i’d love to play for Glasgow Rangers, but it’s not going to happen, is it?”

“Really? Do you go home and spent four or five hours a night training to play for them? Do you contact them? Do you have an agent? Do you spend your days off researching and working on your skills?”

We never spoke of it again after that.

Plus i get lost of dumb things. I’m the office cross word monkey, people will come to me when they;re stuck on one and say, “hey you’re a writer. whats the ancient sumerian word for a staple gun, 6 letters, starts with a k.”

Or, “How can you be dyslexic AND be a writer?”

Or, “You’re a writer? Cool. Did you read that last Dan Brown? What did you think?”

I’m also very much not patient with the, “i’m a writer too” people. I’ll ask them straight off what they write. And when they start talking about distractions, or day jobs, or no spare time, or inspiration, i’ll say that writers write. Or i’ll walk away if it’s a party.

So, yeah, i’m a dick.

I laughed out loud several times reading this. I am a chronic non sentence finisher and have perfected the wide-eyed I-have-no-idea-what-you’re-talking-about look. It’s not that whatever the person is saying isn’t important but even my own sentences aren’t worth finishing when I’m trying to save the Realm. Murderers need slaying and magic needs making, but whatever you’re saying about whatever is really important, too. I’m sure your realm is collapsing around you.

Agreed about the external reality importance. If I didn’t have my husband’s no nonsense outlook to battle my writer insanity, I would have bought a bunker instead of a house, because the aliens are coming. *peers around suspiciously* It’s possible. Just wait.

Me: I write.

Them: Like books? I hate to read. Plus I don’t have time to read. I’m sooooo busy.

Me: That’s what I say about exercising. No time for it.

Them: You should really really find the time. I’m just saying.

I must have been blessed at birth or something. On our last vacation my family and I spent almost an hour thinking up inventive ways to kill someone. I have the list on my computer and refer to it often. Have to say, my brother is an evil genius.

I have a day job (teacher of disadvantaged children, which gets enough looks and rude comments by itself), and for me writing is just something I do in my spare time. Whenever people ask me about hobbies, I mention that I write.
Them: Have you published anything?
Me: Yeah, a few short stories.
Them: How much have you made?
Me: Nothing yet.
Them, laughing: Why waste your time writing?
What I want to say: Your hobby is sitting on your ass watching TV. Have you made any money off that?
What I actually say: I like writing.
They give me a pitying look and walk away to talk to someone else about American Idol.

My favorite (note: sarcasm) is definitely the “Oh, I’ve always wanted to write a book! I’ve got a great idea!” Followed by a lengthy explanation of the idea.

Sorry, but an idea is not a book. Getting an idea isn’t writing. The idea is the easy part. It’s the writing that’s hard.

I’ve had bozos say things like, ‘I’ll give you my idea and you can write it and we’ll split the profits.” So, uh, you want me to do all the work and then split these fictional profits with you? That’s like you buying some groceries and expecting a top chef to split the profits of his restaurant with you.

My conversations with pen-muggles?

Them: “What’s it like, writing all the time?”
Me: “Pure angst and anxiety. I don’t know if the word I’m writing this very second sucks, or maybe the next one sucks. Do they all suck together? How should I know? And if I think about it too much, they definitely suck. If I don’t, there’s a blissful moment where I think it doesn’t suck, and then reality comes crashing down. But no matter what I do, I can’t stop.”
Them: “What?”
Me: “… I mean, it’s just like being Stephen King.”

Though I don’t know what kind of writing you’re doing, Chuck. I still have time for Candyland and puppies between eating and masturbating.

This is just the same thing that happens to every single profession. No one understands me! [insert appropriate angst here]

Must say, I do love the term pen-muggles.

And either get your own blog or learn to freaking edit, people. I shouldn’t have to scroll past one screen to read your damn comment. Sure, your writing is great, but, sheesh.

Some time ago I was discussing, no joke, internet piracy with a guy at school. He theorized it was okay because really how much will it hurt you to have a few things pirated if you already made millions. I brought up authors as a counter example and this devolved into me needing to give a detailed explanation of why most writers aren’t Stephen King and are not in fact millionaires. I had to explain that the average book advance was not in the hundreds of thousands.

Unrelated: Chuck you are a brony?

@Christina, that makes you my hero. All of that? Totally viable material/inspiration.

The fortunate thing of being involved in academia is that you’re shielded from some of this. When everyone working somewhere *knows* that all their coworkers are mumbling monomaniacs who are utterly fixated on drilling down with their headmeats into the Lacanian psychoanalysis of Something, and are in fact employed on their basis of doing so, that the idea that someone Makes Shit Up that they don’t have to provide citations for afterwards doesn’t come as a huge surprise.

(I include myself on the monomaniacs list)

Bah. I get it from both sides. I’ve got friends and family who give me these blank looks of “oh, heh, a writer, eh? What a nice hobby.” I’ve also got writer friends who scoff at me and give me the “you’re not a REAL writer” look. Like, because I chose to have a day job to support my wife through college and because we became accustomed to things like not getting rained on and eating food not from a dumpster, I’m somehow less passionate about my work.

Honestly, it’s the latter that hurts more. To be dismissed by peers when we should be supporting each other. It’s just lame.

[...] This post was Twitted by thegourmez [...]

[...] Hardy on Sharing the Spotlight: How Much Time Do Supporting Characters Need?Chuck Wendig on What It's Like Being a Writer.Gord Sellar on Some Notes For Korean Film Companies Considering an SF Film Project.Cheryl Morgan on [...]

Awesome. Simply awesome. Well done, Chuck.

Great post and something we can all relate to. My experiences in England – a print centric book environment ….

“Can I get your book in Waterstones?”
“No, but you can buy it on Amazon in print and ebook format”
“oh, so it’s not a book I can buy in a bookstore.. it’s not a real book then”

…..

“I’m a writer”
“That’s great – what are the titles of your books? Will I have heard of them?”
“Uh, no, probably not
“So your books aren’t on the display tables in Borders then”
“No”
“Right… ” wanders off, unimpressed.

***
“I’m a writer”
“That’s great – who’s your publisher? Have you won any prizes? Which literary fiction magazines have you published in? You write thrillers – isn’t that a little mainstream? ” **insert more literary fiction snobbery here***

Thanks, Joanna

[...] What It’s Like Being a Writer [...]

I like to sit on my front porch while I write – I read somewhere that fresh air was good for you.

When I first relocated from L.A. back to my hometown, this was my first meeting from the neighbor across the street.

Neighbor: Morning, you know your lawn is looking a little shaggy.

Me: Morning. Yes it is.

Neighbor: Well?

Me: What.

Neighbor: What are you going to do about it?

Me: I’m sorry. Can you come back later I’m working.

Neighbor: Don’t look like it to me. What do you do?

Me: I’m a screenwriter.

Neighbor: I’m just sayin’ you need to cut your grass. Ya ain’t got to be a smartass about it.

(Walks away angry)

So now when anyone asks what I do I tell them “ I design aftermarket trailer hitches for pickups and SUV’s”.

“Cool, I need to get me one of those”.

I was initiated into the jeers, stares and mockery of pen-muggles at an early age.

At 13 I told my mother I wanted to be a writer; she said I better take typing so I would have something to fall back on because hooker’s on 8 Mile made more money than writers.

I took typing. Word Processing hit. My first article was published in the school paper at 14. Twenty-five years later, I left the land of expository writing and am doing my own thing.

The hookers on 8 Mile Road still make more money than me. But, I bet the hookers don’t get, “Aw, that typing class really helped you out, eh?”

@Kat “People start thinking you’re an asshole because you can’t keep your house clean & you turn down multiple social engagements. Even if you accept an offer to a social engagement, you have difficulty engaging in conversation about regular things.”

Oh, sweet zombie Jesus, yes. When I am on a writing binge, the house is a disaster, laundry is undone, there’s no food in the house except the kind you can nuke in five minutes, and friends are neglected. I’m not really a social person to begin with, but if I’m having a lot of luck banging out words, I’m going to focus on that. Everything else can wait. (Luckily I have no one around except my cats to judge the state of my apartment.)

My closest friends understand all of this (and the reason for it) and are very patient and tolerant about my frequent complete disappearance. They know I’ll resurface eventually. The friends who aren’t quite as close tend to have a difficult time understanding or respecting it.

The worst is when they give you the “OH EM GEEyou haven’t gone out in three weeks?” and get all concerned about your well-being, as if I

(oops browser fail, let’s finish that thought) . . . as if I am going to shrivel into a raisin/become a vampire/kill myself if I don’t go to a bar and have a cocktail with them IMMEDIATELY.

[...] week or so — especially since Mercury went into retrograde. But when Chuck Wendig proffered this on his blog, I went all tunnel-visioned dream-sequence in my head and started reliving many of the [...]

Fabulous, fabulous post! I feel so … vindicated. I am in a community of like-minded nut-cases, where I feel comfortable. About damned time.

My day job is elementary school librarian. Yes, one of a dying breed.

I hear, “Oooh, how sweet. You must write cute little childrens’ books, right?”
Me (when I feel it’s appropriate) “No, I write erotic romance.”
Me (most of the time) “No, I write romance. You know, for grownups?”
Them “Oh. How come you don’t write childrens’ books?”
Me “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe someday.”
Me (only in my head) ‘Because I don’t have children running around in my head, demanding to be let out. I have shape-shifting alpha male heroes, and heroines thinking naughty thoughts and demanding that I let them act out those naughty thoughts, preferably with some kick-ass adventure and a few laughs along the way.’

Ah, that felt good. Now, I must go and write. Although it is hard work, and I would rather stay here and chat about being a writer.

cyber-hugs all around,
Cathryn

Gah. Inputted my website incorrectly.

Try this link if curious about what librarians write in their risque daydreams.

If not, cheers.

OMG! THANK YOU! For me, the convo goes something like this:

“So you write,huh?” In that polite, sickly sweet oh-my-god-she’s-lost-her-damn-mind-tone.
“Um, yeah.” As I try to find a quick escape before I snag that weed whacker to see what kind of damage it would leave on a human body.
“So what do you write?”
“Urban Fantasy.”
“Really, and that is…”
Okay, how to explain to the pen muggle….”Magic in the real world.”
“Really? Wow, how…interesting.”
Then it just goes downhill from there. And all I can think is, look, I may come across as a space cadet only because the people in my head are a fairly demanding bunch and they tend to be a bit more entertaining than than around me, but even they agree…we should just slap you now and be done with it.
But I refrain as bail is really hard to come up with, even if it would allow you discover a few new tricks for that next scene you’ve got where some helpless sop gets attacked by a weed whacker.

For now I’ll hold your post near and dear and share will my other Evil Dwarves and we’ll cackle in delight that out there, others truly understand!

Jami

It can actually get worse, believe it or not, if your parent is a well-known artist (or well-known anything else). When people who didn’t know my father but admire his work meet me, the very first question, usually, is: “are you also an artist?” I often want to say, “had my father been a dentist, would you be asking me if I have followed in his footsteps (or mouthsteps)?” But I don’t. Instead, I say, “I’m a writer,” and their disappointment tends to be huge. HUGE. (Strange word isn’t it–huge? It doesn’t look at all the way it’s pronounced.)

Excellent post!

I must say though, at least most of you write books — something most people have read once or twice. I’m a poet. When I tell people this, they simultaneously break out their most condescending smile and clutch their wallets, like I’m there to beg for coffee money.

I was in a craptastical mood- then I read your post, thank you for making me laugh and giving me something to print out and hand to my family and friends when they look at me like I’m crazy. BTW I’m going to start using pen-muggle it’s wonderful I hope it catches on.

Nice!

My day job is at a college, where I get to hear about the Ivory Tower trials and tribulations of academic articles, presentations, and posters they have made and count as works of scholarly acumen.

Once, someone was explaining to me, in small words so I could understand, the rigors of writing and editing for an academic journal, to which I replied, “You don’t need to expalin. I’m a published writer.” Their eyebrows went up, the patches on the elbows were planted on the desk, “Really? What do you write?” I figured I would dodge the snobbery and avoid discussing mad prophets, samurai fighter pilots, and planet devouring beasts, so I answered, “Fiction.”

From the look on their face, I would have thought I was watching one of those 2 Girls 1 cup reaction clips on YouTube. The good part is they haven’t bothered me about “this memoir I’m working on.” Yet.

Yeah, I get a lot of this crap, too. I’ve had people tell me what I should write about and what’s currently “hot” (as if that means anything). I’ve also had people slightly berate me about not getting a novel published yet. Like it’s that easy! Like it doesn’t take hours and hours of work to get my mess of drafts to look like something even close to a novel. And my favorite, recently I was asked, “So what do you want to write, short stories or novels or what?” And I didn’t know how to answer. What do I *want* to write? I already write, dammit! The assumption was that I was waiting for some magical moment to become a writer. Ughhh.

Within two or three times of meeting a person and establishing that I write with the intention of being published, I get the inevitable “So tell me a story!”

I HATE that.

What I really love is when I get that glazed over, staring absently into space look in my eye and my husband nudges me and says “What are you thinking about?”

Haha. Really? Do you REALLY want to know? Because I just figured out how my villain is going to get away with killing someone. Or I just thought of an oh so creepy and perfect thing my stalker can do.

Yet when I respond with the mundane “nothing” he actually looks worried.

You are hilarious! You talk like I think. I just haven’t got the balls to put it in writing. Could I find the ovaries to write that way?? No, that doesn’t sound right….
I have gotten those same reactions especially since I started writing a non-fiction/humor book first. Of course the publishing world has blown up and we all need “a following,” hence the blog…I can relate to the blank dull stare, not really seeing what is in front of me, the dishes piled up in the sink, and still wearing pajama pants at 6:00 at night. My husband has often looked in the fridge for anything he can nibble on for dinner. And then I think. Whoa! I forgot to eat today!!!
Great post!!

Great post. I think many writers write to get the demons out and because they love it.

“OH! So you write novels! Where are they?” I hand them a business card. This works great and cuts down on the crap.
“Listen. I’ve got this great story that I think you should write!”
I try to be nice– I am a nice guy. “I’ve got so many stories in my head it will be years before I could get to it. Here’s an idea. Why don’t you try to write it! It’s easy– just sit down for 10 hurs a day, for say 3 months and the next thing you know you’re rich.” I say this with a wry grin.

[...] today. Today I’m still thinking about the post by Chuck, what-its-like-being-a-writer, and how much what he said is true about my writing experience. Well apart from the expletives, I [...]

I couldn’t help myself but write something along this line, I am no Chuck Wendig, but thanks for the inspiration. It was worth not only reading your post, but having my own musings about it.
I think one of the best way to describe what writers do is that we take those jewels of ideas or even crappy ideas that streamline your brain and decide to put them on paper for everyone to look at so some can say whether they find them ugly or pretty. It sounds easy, but some people rather shoot themselves before they let anyone know what they really are thinking about.

You nailed it. Great post.

All I really have going for me is this: To be a writer–that is a state of mind. No, I’m not published. But I write. Isn’t that enough to call yourself a writer? I aspire to be published. On occasion I make an effort toward that end.
When I did stand up, I never called myself a comic. Of course, no one else did either. I’ve been a restaurant manager, a pizza driver, and other things like that. Gotta pay the bills. In between, I write. On my day job now–I couldn’t really explain what I do.
But I always say that I want to be a writer when I grow up. On the back end of my forties now, I just hope I’m not running out of time.

My wife gets the same kind of reaction because she’s the Literacy Outreach Coordinator (read: PR and Programming Coordinator) at a public library. She tells people she works there, and she constantly gets “Oh, that has to be lovely. I just LOVE to read.” Yeah, because all she does is sit around reading all day and talking about books.

I’m a college English teacher, that’s what I get to do all day! I kid.

I had an ex-girlfriend a few years back who got mad at me for working on my Master’s in English and not having a full-time salaried job. She told me, and I quote, “All you do all day long is sit on your ass and read.” Oh, ignorance, thy name is…I’ll be nice.

Anyway, I’m with Cassandra up top. I tell people I’m an English prof first, then I sneak in that I’m a writer.

I still have trouble telling people I’m a writer. Actually, when people ask what I do, I usually tell them whatever my current soul-sucking day job is (presently: waitress) out of habit. But when I do tell them…

First, “Anything I’d know?” This question is pretty much inevitable. And I hate it because I know, at this point, the answer is no.

After that, I get the follow-up reaction.

Pleasantly, a lot of people seem to have the That’s Amazing reaction, where they tell me they could never write and that they’re fascinated by people who can, then proceed to ask me a million questions about my writing, my process, my whateverelsetheycanthinkof – which I am only too happy to answer. These people usually insist that I’ll be famous soon, too, which I like, even if it is a baseless assertion.

Almost as many people (possibly more and I just trick myself into mentally fudging the numbers a little) have the Stunned Silence and Change the Subject reaction, where they say “Oh,” or “Ah,” or contrive to make an even less committal noise, then start talking about their cold or their dog or the exhaust pipe they need to have fixed on their car. It always makes me feel a little judged.

But the reactions from strangers are fine, either way, because you can take the good and ignore the bad. What I really hate is when you tell family and friends that yes, writing is going to be your career, and you get the Fall Back reaction, where they patronize you and subtly (if you’re lucky it’s subtle) drop hints that while writing for a living would be *great*, it would be better/smarter/more responsible to start another career, since in all liklihood, this one is going to crash and burn and you should have something to “fall back on” if (read: when) that happens.

I got a link to this post from my publisher-to-be (Yeah, I’m a writer, too, just like Stephen King) with a note of warning, but did I listen? Nuuoooo … So I now find myself sitting at work with spittle, kanelbolle (Norwegian variety of donut) and coffee dripping down my screen and splattered across my keyboard. I think I might have boled – Barked Out Loud. Luckily it was my lunch break, and anti-social penmonkey (keyboard monkey?) that I am, I was more or less alone, furtively printing out manuscript copies while my boss is away from the printer. Christ, I hope she doesn’t read this. As if.

So the first thing I did after wiping down the screen (okay, I haven’t actually done that yet, but I probably will before I go home) was to nip over to the Totally Free Shit section of the blog. Oh yeah, more food for the starving. I can’t wait. And there are books coming, too. Thank you Odin, I am not alone in the universe after all.

Cheers!

I write crime drama for TV, and once attended a conference for forensic pathologists – most of whom (including my brother) were very kind and helpful. But when the third one expected me to applaud when telling me he/she intended to write crime fiction when they retired, I couldn’t resist responding with: ‘What a coincidence! I’m aiming to be a forensic pathologist when I retire!’ Oddly enough, these particular individuals were deeply insulted, and felt the need to remind me that it had taken them years of training and experience to become a …

God, reading all these comments is so cathartic. My latest pet peeve is that when I tell people I’m a writer who publishes her own ebooks, they react in two ways:

“Oh, so you don’t write actual books?”

OR

“Oh, did you read that news story about that girl who makes millions writing ebooks? So, are you a millionaire too?”

Rrrrrrr. Not that I don’t wish Amanda Hocking all the best, because I do. But jeez, people.

I’m pretty sure it’s easier to get away with this if you actually make some kind of money from it. Otherwise, it’s just a silly hobby that keeps you from washing the dishes and folding the laundry.

One word in response: “Serf” – Don’t explain it. Force them to read about their misery.

[...] Wendig wrote a great article yesterday (I think it was yesterday, but maybe that’s just when I happened to see it) about what it [...]

[...] confronted by the above question during your lifetime? I was reading an article posted by Jay Lake What It’s Like Being A Writer on this very subject earlier today in relation to those of us who are [...]

My fave after the, “Can I buy anything you’ve written (which is actually a nice response) is the:

“Ooohhh, you’re a writer? I have a story I’ve always wanted to write. But I don’t have time. Maybe you can write it for me.”

“Are you serious. [like I don't have to scrape up time to get my OWN stuff on the page...never mind yours]. Because if you are, you need a ghostwriter and I know a few I can refer you too.”

[Suspicious look] “Would I have to pay them? I’d rather just split the royalties.”

It would take me too long to delve into all the ways the above is an atrocious conversation. And I’ve propably had it 6-7 times!

I actually live in Maine so when I talk to people and tell them where I’m from along with the fact that I’m a writer, they immediately ask if I know Stephen King personally. I have to explain that, yeah, him and I meet every Sunday to drink coffee and discuss writing, love, and life. ..How about no. I met him once when I was like nine. That’s it. He came to our school to do some speech thing – I don’t even know.

If anyone asks, I tell them I’m an astronaut. The disbelief is the same as if I’d said ‘writer’ but they understand what an astronaut does. And we can then move swiftly on to discuss NASA budget cuts…

Most common response I get is, “Yeah, I have this great idea for/started a/do you want to read my novel?” No. No, I don’t. I see enough schlock splashed across the screens, and I know what a zero draft is, and I don’t want to read yours. I really want to shake the folks that actually are good writers, but don’t work much on it because they’re “waiting for inspiration.” It’s automatic, now, the response:
If you wait for inspiration, you’ll wait forever.
Then there’s this: My adorable grandmother.
GM: Did you finish that book?
Me: Yeah. More or less. I still need to -
GM: Is there an audio version?
Me: What?
GM: Is it published? I want it on audio.
Me: Um…
GM: Send me a copy.
Me: That isn’t… that’s not how it works.

[...] http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2011/08/10/what-its-like-being-a-writer/ [...]

[...] also realize the beloved Chuck Wendig questions those who’ve worked on the same thing as long as I have. Something tells me he [...]

Favorite discussion about my writing process with a very supportive friend:

Friend: That’s so unfair. You’re a writer.
Me: Yeah. So?
Friend: You’re an artist. No one cares if you wake up one morning hearing two people argue in your head.
Me (internally): Yeah but I don’t TELL everyone I hear people arguing in my head – people that DON’T EXIST OUTSIDE OF MY HEAD. Do you know the looks I’d get?
Me (externally): Uhuh.
Friend: I’m not a writer.
Me: Yeah. So?
Friend: So when I wake up hearing people argue inside my head, I’m just bat-shit crazy.

Thank you for this! I’m in nearly complete isolation when it comes to the writing thing. My lovely friends support me and say that I’m the next Stephenie Meyer or J.K. Rowling. Bless them. They don’t try to leave the room or find some escape when I tell them I was distracted and could they please repeat what they just said because the characters in my head were saying something more interesting.

I usually don’t tell people I’m a writer. It feels like admitting something shameful. I don’t know why that is, but whenever it comes up, my palms get sweaty and my heart pounds. God, it’s like I’m comfessing I committed a crime and am hiding a body in my basement. I have told a few people, just to see the reaction, and I did have a woman who told me she wrote a children’s book. I was like, yeah, I don’t know anything about that. It’s not my market. She started grilling me on publishing advice and I was like, um, Google it like I did. Read Publishers Market. It irritates me that people like the IDEA of being a writer, but aren’t willing to put in any work, you know, actually writing or researching.

I think the majority of people think that writing a book is some mystical magical thing. Like you sit in this room with a typewriter and drink tons of coffee and are fueled by this muse that won’t let you rest until you get all the words on the page. Then you send it to a publisher, and bam, it’s a book. People just assume that you write words and thats the end. Uh, ever heard of revising? Copy editing? Line edits? Multiple drafts? That’s what I thought.

I’m a humanitarian aid worker. And the responses I get are almost the same and always always, fucking ALWAYS every bit as dumbass.

“OMG, YOU’RE A HUMANITARIAN WORKER?!?!?!? ME TOO!!! I volunteered to spend 4.5 days singing Sunday School songs for AIDS orphans in Bali…”

I’m also a writer. Okay, *blogger* (almost as mysterious and cool). And get the same shit from other aid workers.

“Well, we’re too busy *working* to write…”

bitches

SO FUNNY and SO TRUE!

When my family hears me complaining about not getting paid for six months after contract acceptance and then years after publication, they think I’m such a whiner. Oh really–do any of them have to wait for up to a year to be paid for work they’ve already done and not have a clue how much they will be paid in the long run?

One novelist I know opened his keynote speech by saying, “If you can quit writing, you probably should.”

He’s probably right. But as you pointed out, real writers have this little problem of plots and characters romping around in our heads. I’ve been known to burst into laughter at totally inappropriate times because I was imagining a funny scene, when physically being present during a boring conversation.

Thanks for exposing everyone to the real life of real writers!

Great post. Thanks for the laughs. Until self-publishing in March I stopped telling people I was a writer.

What do you write?
ME: Romance.
Snicker-snicker.
ME: No, it’s not porn or all about sex. I write about two people falling in love.
Yeah. Great. Where can I buy your books?
ME: I’m not published…not yet.
Ah, well, I think you should write a book about your mom. She’s funny and quirky. Or how about your life story…you know with all those crazy sisters of yours and your quirky mom your book would be a bestseller.
ME: Thanks. You’re probably right. Good idea.
It’s a great idea. It’ll be a bestseller and you can give me 50% of all that $ you’re going to rake in.

[...] What It’s Like Being A Writer: I had to include this, as it’s a funny and well-written analysis of the writer and his/her connections to the world. I figured that of all the sections, it was most suited to “The Writing Process”. [...]

I very much enjoyed this post, especially the part where my head is somewhere else, dreaming up ways a turtle the size of planet could best a wizard at chess.

What I want to tell people is it’s hard, and it takes time and dedication, and I envy those professional writers who seem to be able to crank out a book a year like clockwork. My first novel has taken three years, two years writing, one year editing, and you know what? That wasn’t enough time. It’s a first book so there are problems, but goddamnit I have to stop sometime and start on the next, right?

“I want to be a writer too!” then sit down and start writing! It’s not like a 77,000 word novel leaped out of my head over the course of an afternoon. And the worst part? Going back and cutting the throats of clever shit that doesn’t help the book.

Anyway, love your blog!

Oh, I missed this before.

Another one outta the park, Wendig.

I thought I was the only one that felt like this. Great Blog.

My third favorite response is “If I had the time, I’d be a writer, too.” As though lack of anything interesting in one’s life is a prerequisite for being a writer.

My second favorite response is: “Ooo, Ooo. I’ve got this great idea you can use…” Usually followed by what they think should have happened on their favorite TV show, their latest RPG adventure, or something they don’t remember they saw at the movies last year.

My favorite can only be uttered by my brother, an English and Lit professor at an east coast university: “Still writing science fiction and mysteries? When are you going to get serious and DO something with your craft?”

Being a writer is my dirty secret.

I can’t win either way

I’m a carer for the elderly. If I admit this I get horrified looks and hushed whispers: “Oh, I could never do that! Do you have to wash them? Do you wipe their bums?” or “What do you do if they vomit?” Then the conversation quickly turns to another subject punctuated by revolted and/or awed looks.

If I admit I’m a writer I usually get a really interest response until I say I write Fantasy, Speculative Fiction and Steampunk. Noone outside of our world knows what Spec fic or steampunk is, which leads to long explainations that result in them saying, “Oh. why do you want to write about that?” or “Cool” in a tone which indicates they don’t want to talk about it any more. If they pick up on the fantasy thing they say, “What with magic and stuff? Like Lord of the RIngs or Harry Potter?” or look at me oddly, because if you want to be a writer that’s fine, but why would you bother writing something weird like that?

Sigh

[...] http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2011/08/10/what-its-like-being-a-writer/ *Having long ago left Internet Explorer behind as my computer browser, I finally suffered one too many Firefox ‘hangs’ and crashes and gave Google Chrome a try. I love Google everything else, why not a browser?? Well, let me just say Google Chrome ROCKS! It’s faster, smoother, has great options such as pinning tabs to keep them open(which is great for Facebook or Twitter–or both).There are also a bunch of great extensions or apps/add-ons–whatever you want to call them–for Chrome as well. This article lists 10 free Chrome apps geared for those who spend a lot of time working on their computers: [...]

[...] http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2011/08/10/what-its-like-being-a-writer/ [...]

[...] What it’s like to be a writer. (via Wyrdsmiths) [...]

I was taken more seriously when I wrote articles and reviews for a film magazine but now as a screenwriter I had someone introduce me by saying, “She writes screenplays as a HOBBY!” *sigh*

Person: “So, what do you write?”

Me: “Generally, poetry. But I’m working on a novel.”

Person: “Can I read it?”

Me: “Well, no. I’ve already had a couple of readers go through it. Now it’s in the revision process, and I’m getting ready to pitch it to some agents and editors.”

Person: “Oh, well I’m an editor (read: technical writer for a corporate entity; person who reads a lot; someone who took English at some point in high school and vaguely remembers the word ‘gerund,’) I could do that for you. Just let me know.”

Me: *facepalm*

This was great! Thanks for that. I’d share it with my friends, but I don’t think they’d get it.

I’ve just recently accepted my fate. I’m a writer and I can’t help myself. I tried to resist it for years. I was afraid of just these reactions. I believed I wasn’t creative enough. I “tried” to write, but I always felt like people were telling me that writing wasn’t as valuable as other things I could be doing. I just had a novel idea that took hold of me (can’t shake it loose) and I’ve already-in one week, written 30k words, well more than that, because I’ve been changing it as well. Probably upwards of 40-50 counting stuff I’ve written over.

One thing I never got into, even though I tried, was the whole “NaNoWriMo” thing. I know a lot of people do that, but I’m sorry, I just think it’s all utter crap. As if 200k people during the month of November all suddenly embrace their passion for fiction writing. Riiiight.

But I’m embracing the title Writer, no matter how many people look at me like I’m from outer space, because you gotta do what you gotta do. It’s a lot like being a stay at home mom, which I also am. “So what do you do?”
“I’m a stay at home mom.”
“So you sit around and eat bon-bons all day?”
“No, I raise children and teach them. It’s sort of like being a school teacher or a nanny, except you don’t get paid and the hours suck.”

But seriously, my job is the best job in the world. Hands down.

I was feeling down about my writing, and Googled “being a writer” and came across this post. Really enjoyed reading it, put a smile on my face. And the comments by visitors who’ve shared their experiences through the comments are pretty funny too. Thanks for sharing.

To all the writers, all the best with your writing.

Okay, I’m not a real writer. I’m an aspiring penmonkey, but I spend most of my freetime writing. I’m still a high school student, so I can’t spend all my time doing that.

The worst reaction is “Hey, can I read what you’re writing?” FUCK NO!!! You can wait until I’m done and if it gets published, which there is a remote chance of that, then you can pay for it just like everyone else.

And people here think it’s a hobby. Heh, tell me that when I’m clicking away on the computer at 4 oclock in the morning. Tell me it’s a hobby then. Heh.

Thanks for the post!

Conversation with a friend

Friend: I think you should write my story because I’ve lived a very interesting life and a lot of things have happened to me that your readers could learn from.
Me: I don’t write biographies.
Friend: Still. Think about it, because we could make millions on my story. All we have to do is sit down and I’ll tell you all about my life, you make that it into a book and sell it to publishers. We can share the money 5//50.
Me: I don’t write biographies.