Apple-Obsessed Author Fella

Category: Guestpost (page 3 of 4)

Stephen Blackmoore: The Terribleminds Interview

Like I tried to make clear last week — I know some awesome motherfuckers. Case in point? Stephen Blackmoore. Mister Blackmoore is a writer after my own heart. Wit like a lash. He’ll talk booze. He’ll talk games. Best of all, the guy’s an incredible writer. I’m lucky to call him a friend. I’m also lucky to have read both his upcoming DAW releases, CITY OF THE LOST, and DEAD THINGS. The former is going to knock your socks off. The latter is somehow, mysteriously, inexplicably even better — that book is going to knock your head off. And then, with your burbling throathole, you’re going to say, “Can I have some more?” Anyway. Blackmoore — whose blog, LA NOIR, is worth checking out as it details the grim and grimy side of Los Angeles — decided to submit for intellectual processing at the Terribleminds Enlightenment Center.

This is a blog about writing and storytelling, so before we do anything else, I’d like you to tell me – and, of course, the fine miscreants and deviants that read this site – a story. As short or long as you care to make it, as true or false as you see it.

I had this roommate one time. Squat, little homunculus of a guy from Boston. It was me, him and a mutual friend. So I move in and he’s the Mystery Roommate. He’s away for the first three months I live there. I never meet him. But the Mutual Friend tells me he’s cool, so, whatever.

So, he finally shows up. Nice enough guy. Kind of evasive. He’s been “away” the last few months. That’s all he’ll say. “Away.”

So I ask the Mutual Friend, “Hey, why’s he so weird about talking about where he’s been?” I mean, I don’t care one way or the other, but if somebody doesn’t want to tell me something really innocuous and simple, chances are it ain’t so innocuous and simple.

“Oh,” she says. “He’s been in jail.”

This being news of the sort I’d normally like to have BEFORE I move in with somebody, I ask, “For what?”

Turns out his girlfriend broke up with him about a year before and he shows up on her front lawn coked to the gills, crying and screaming her name.

And naked.

So picture this overweight, pasty white, Jewish guy running in a panic through Mar Vista with his junk flapping in the breeze and a couple LAPD officers on his ass flipping coins as to which one of them will have the unfortunate honor of having to take him down.

Now everybody has a bad turn every once in a while, right? It happens. You’re lonely, your heart’s broken, you’ve just done a couple monster rails of Peruvian flake.

You’re gonna go a little crazy.

As it turns out, though, this isn’t the first time, or even the second. Seems he’s got an issue with, shall we say, self expression.

Now I don’t really give a damn if he’s been in jail or has some issues. Everybody’s got issues. I got no problem with crazy as long as it doesn’t chuck furniture at my head or try to shank me in the middle of the night.

All things considered, though, he wasn’t that bad a roommate.

And the best part about it was that he was really paranoid.

No, really. Paranoid people are great, See, they overthink everything. Spend days figuring out what every little thing means. They’re constantly overanalyzing, trying to figure out all the angles.

That makes them very easy to fuck with.

Mystery Roommate and I had largely separate schedules. Weeks might go by before we saw each other. I’d leave before he got home and he’d leave before I got home.

He had this cheap, cardboard chess set with plastic pieces that he stuck in the living room with the idea that he was going to play with, fuck I dunno, the voices in his head or something.

So one morning as I’m walking out the door, I stop and I move a pawn.

When I get home that night I see that he’s moved a pawn.

So I move one of my pieces. Along the lines of, “I think a Knight on that square would really pull the room together.”

I hate chess. I know how to play it, sure, but it’s like watching golf. My idea of a great chess move is to scream “Checkmate”, kick my opponent in the nuts and light the board on fire. I’m not actually paying any attention to the game.

I won three times.

So one night when our schedules actually synced up he starts talking about chess. Gambits, openings, defenses and I don’t know what the fuck he’s going on about.

Turns out he’s been spending hours at a time analyzing my game. Trying to figure out what I’m doing. What my next move might be. And when he thinks he’s got me figured out, BAM! I change the game on him. One second I’m doing some weird Bobbie Fischer shit and the next I’m playing like a goddamn monkey.

He’s convinced I’m some sort of chess genius.

He asks me what my strategy is.

So I tell him.

Next day I find the torn up chess board in the trash. I don’t know what he did with the pieces, but the garbage disposal never worked very well after that.

The moral of the story? I’m kind of a bastard.

How would you describe your writing or storytelling style?

An unfortunate side effect of Tourettes.

I tend to underwrite. I think a perfectly good novel length is 60-70K words. Not that I don’t like longer novels, I love longer novels. I’m just not predisposed to write them. Comes from writing short stories, I think. And being lazy.

I’m also interested in voice over plot. On the one hand I’ve been accused of style over substance, which I’ll concede for some things I’ve done, but that’s not what I’m shooting for. Sometimes style is substance. A story is a complete thing, not just individual pieces. Voice is an important part of it. It just happens to be the part I’m most interested in.

Bear in mind, I didn’t say I was good at it.

Yeah! Fuck chess! Ahem. Got a favorite boardgame besides chess?

Ah. Games. Yeah.

This is where I let my geek flag fly, right? I used to play a lot. A long, long… long time ago.

Jesus, I’m old.

Anyway, I mostly played RPGs. D&D, Call of Cthulhu. A lot of old school Traveller. When they put the game out in those little booklets instead of one monster rulebook. My first D&D boxed set didn’t come with dice. It came with these little paper chits that you had to cut out and draw from a cup.

You kids and your “dice.” Back in my day we had to calculate range modifiers with astrolabes! And digging through entrails! Why I remember when we had to sacrifice a goat just to figure out our armor class!

But board games? Never really grabbed me much.

Although…

There was this one. It’s a little embarrassing because of the name, but I’ll say it, anyway. Black Morn Manor. I got a lot of shit when that one came out.

One player’s the evil monster holed up in a spoooooky mansion in the woods and the other players are trying to figure out what sort of monster it is. See, there’s an object, wooden stake, voodoo doll, whatever, that can kill the monster. Monster’s trying to destroy it, other players are trying to use it. It’s hidden somewhere on the board.

The challenge is that there’s no board.

Instead, everybody gets tiles for pieces of the manor grounds or rooms in the house that they lay down to build the board as they go. Only the monster player’s got tiles too. While you’re building a straight shot through the house to get to him and kill him he’s turning it into a maze and trying to kill you, too. And if you die you switch to his side.

What’s awesome about being a writer or storyteller?

There’s the “making shit up” bit, which is fun, but better is seeing someone else’s view of it. I think of a story as a collaboration between the writer and the reader with the reader doing most of the heavy lifting. So I try not to be heavy handed with description if I can help it.

I like seeing and hearing other people’s interpretations. I love the idea that someone might come away with something different than I thought of and put their own particular spin on it.

Case in point, my novel CITY OF THE LOST has a cover by the comic book artist Sean Phillips, which is cool. But what’s cooler is that he’s also doing some internal illustrations for some scenes and characters in it.

And seeing how he pictured these characters is incredible. He’s got details on them that I forgot I put in there and even then they’re not exactly how I pictured them. Seeing them through his eyes was both gratifying and a little humbling. Sure I wrote those characters, but in a lot of ways he made them his.

I wanted to do comics before but after seeing what he’s done with them now I REALLY want to do comics.

Conversely, what sucks about it?

Assholes and haters.

I don’t mind them so much when they come after me, but yeah it can sting. Most of the time, though, it can be downright entertaining.

Fun fact: Somebody once put together a blog titled something like “Stephen Blackmoore Is A Big Fat Idiot” because of some unfavorable things I said about her murderer cousin who gunned down two people in an income tax office and fucked off to Wisconsin. Sadly there was only one post IN ALL CAPS BADSPELLINGANDNO PUNCSHASHION beyond the obligatory !!! A few months later she took it down.

I think of that as my, “I have arrived,” moment.

I’m looking forward to my first 1 Star review. I’m taking bets on whether it’s going to be because I a) kill a dog, b) kill a hooker, c) got a gun or Los Angeles fact wrong or d) beat a guy to death with a midget.

You’re entitled to your opinion. I ain’t gonna argue that.

But I hate watching people, particularly creative types, get beat over the head for shit they have no control over or because they pushed someone’s buttons who doesn’t know how to handle having their buttons pushed.

I get pissed off and rant as much as the next guy, if not more, so I get I’m being a bit of a hypocrite here, but I still don’t like it. It takes bigger balls than most people have just to put yourself out there in the first place. Squashing someone like a bug because you got your panties in a twist is just you being an asshole.

Deliver unto us a single-serving dollop of writing or storytelling advice that you yourself follow as a critical tip without which you might starve and die atop a glacier somewhere:

Don’t take yourself too seriously. It ain’t worth it.

I’m a bit of a process monkey. You do anything special in terms of writing? Notebook, whiteboard, outlines carved into the flesh of a gimp you keep shackled to the desk? Always curious to see how other writers, ahem, “make the sausage.”

I stare at the wall a lot. Though I’m not sure that has anything to do with my writing.

I’ve tried index cards, mind-maps, Post-Its, a white board, note pads. None of them have ever really worked for me. They all just get in the way. Took a look at Scrivener once and my eyes glazed over.

Though outlining a book works really well for me, I can’t start with an outline. I have to start with a few scenes to help me establish the voice, the characters and give me an idea of what I’m trying to do. For me the outline’s just about plot and there’s a lot more to a story than the plot.

LA Noir is by and large a blog about the seedy underbelly of Los Angeles. It’s an awesome place to stop by and read some grisly little tidbits about the City of Angels, and is pretty unusual in terms of an author blog. Where’d the idea for that come from, and why?

I never actually intended L.A. Noir to be an author blog. It just sort of worked out that way.

A few years back I was writing for a community blog called LAVoice. Los Angeles politics, police, education, that sort of thing. It was a cool site, and won a couple awards, but it petered out.

While I was digging up things to write about for them I kept running into crime stories that I found myself wanting to talk about instead.

So I figured what the hell. As far as I’m concerned the best way to show contempt for something is to mock it and if I can’t go around being Batman beating the crap out of pedophiles and drug dealers the least I can do is point and laugh. And there’s a lot to point and laugh at.

Because otherwise it just really pisses me off.

Favorite word? And then, the follow up: Favorite curse word?

Favorite word: “Defenestration” I love the fact that the act of flinging something out the window has happened often enough to require its own word.

Favorite curse word: “Jesus H Monkeyfucking Christ”

I have no idea what the H is for. Hubert, maybe? No clue.

Favorite alcoholic beverage? (If cocktail: provide recipe. If you don’t drink alcohol, fine, fine, a non-alcoholic beverage will do.)

Whatever you’re buying.

But if I’m buying I like single malt whisky. Oban, Dalwhinnie, Lagavulin, Macallan, Balvenie. If you can get it there’s this great Tasmanian whisky called Lark that’ll strip the rust off battleships. Until you put a drop of water in it and then goddamn is it smooth. Good stuff.

Recommend a book, comic book, film, game: something with great story. Go!

Jesus. Just one? Okay, uh… KISS ME JUDAS, by Will Christopher Baer.

That’s one of those novels I keep going back to. It’s insane, hallucinatory and has one of the best inconsistent and unreliable narrators ever.

Guy goes up to a hotel room with a prostitute and wakes up in the bathtub with a stitched up side and a note saying CALL 911. A pretty standard urban myth goes rapidly off the rails from there as he goes hunting for his possibly missing kidney. Or maybe it isn’t missing and this random prostitute who may or may not actually be a prostitute (or maybe she’s a surgeon, or a nurse, or a professional organ harvester, or a drug mule) is just fucking with him. Maybe she stuffed baggies full of heroin into the hole. Maybe she’s trying to kill him. Maybe she’s trying to get him to kill someone else. Maybe that someone else is her.

Oh, and he’s a cop. Or he used to be a cop before he had a mental breakdown. Now he’s very clearly insane, off his meds and fighting a rampant infection from the (expertly as it turns out) stitched up wound. He goes on for pages about how he’s going to kill her when he finds her and then when he does he decides no, actually he loves her. Or at least really enjoyed the sex. What he can remember of it.

But he still wants to kill her. And get his kidney back, which may or may not be in the cooler she has in her car.

He’s afraid to look.

Things kind of go downhill from there.

Where are my pants?

In the evidence locker. At least until the trial or the zookeeper at the monkey house drops the charges. But I don’t see that happening. I mean, really, in the eye? With his kids watching? That’s just cold, man.

Good aim, though.

Got anything to pimp? Now’s the time!

I gots me a book!

A dark urban fantasy titled CITY OF THE LOST coming out January 3rd, 2012 through DAW Books. It’s been described as “creatively violent.” I mean, how can you go wrong with that?

Here’s the ad copy:

Joe Sunday’s dead. He just hasn’t stopped moving yet.

Sunday’s a thug, an enforcer, a leg-breaker for hire. When his boss sends him to kill a mysterious new business partner, his target strikes back in ways Sunday could never have imagined. Murdered, brought back to a twisted half-life, Sunday finds himself stuck in the middle of a race to find an ancient stone with the power to grant immortality. With it, he might live forever. Without it, he’s just another rotting extra in a George Romero flick.

Everyone’s got a stake, from a psycho Nazi wizard and a razor-toothed midget, to a nympho-demon bartender, a too-powerful witch who just wants to help her homeless vampires, and the one woman who might have all the answers — if only Sunday can figure out what her angle is.

Before the week is out he’s going to find out just what lengths people will go to for immortality. And just how long somebody can hold a grudge.

I just turned in the second in the series, DEAD THINGS, which picks up with a different character in the same world. I have no idea when that will be coming out.

Anything you can tell us about DEAD THINGS?

DEAD THINGS is a follow-up to CITY OF THE LOST. I’m writing the series from the perspective of the world rather than a particular character, so DT has a different protagonist. I like the idea of showing different views of this world and seeing what sorts of stories I can tell in it.

DT is about a necromancer named Eric Carter. He can see the dead, talk to them, manipulate them. He’s on speaking terms with Voodoo loas, demons and the undead. He’s a rarity among mages, which are rare enough as it is. He’s not thrilled with it but he was born that way.

Fifteen years ago Carter’s parents were murdered by another mage and he went a little bugfuck. Took the guy out by feeding his soul to a bunch of hungry ghosts. Pissed off a lot of people when he did it. They gave him a choice to either get out of L.A. or they’d kill his younger sister. He hasn’t been back since.

But now his sister’s been murdered and when he returns to L.A. he finds out that her death was just bait to get him back home.

But who wants him that badly and why? There’s no shortage of possibilities. There’s the guy who drove him out of town, his best friend who he left to pick up the pieces, the mage he killed who might actually have come back from the dead.

And when he runs into Santa Muerte, the patron saint of murderers and criminals who used to be an Aztec death goddess, things get a lot more complicated.

What’s next after COTL and DT? Whatchoo working on now?

A lot of that staring at the wall thing I was talking about earlier.

I’ve got about half a dozen other ideas I’m playing with for the series, incuding ones that pick up with the characters from COTL and DT, though I’ll probably hold off on those. I’m hoping I can keep this going for a while. Really depends on whether enough people like it or not, I suppose.

I’m working on a story bible for the series. Maintaining consistency can be a real pain in the ass. I keep running into the same problem I have with index cards and Post-Its. Referring back to a bunch of dry notes just doesn’t work for me, so instead I’m writing short stories set in the world. So far it’s helped cement some things for me and I might use a few of them as jumping off points for future books.

I’ve also got a collection of short stories I’m toying with releasing on the Kindle, but I don’t know if I’m ready to do that just yet.

Other than that it’s just jotting down ideas here and there. I want to try my hand at a lot of different things. Science fiction, a western, a straight crime novel. Would really love to write for comics and games.

And while I’m at it I want a jetpack and a pony.

Will Hindmarch: The Terribleminds Interview

I think I can be upfront and say that Will Hindmarch, though he describes himself as a “mooncalf,” is pretty farking awesome and I’m happy to call him friend and cohort. He’s a freelance penmonkey such as myself, crawling through the trenches, chucking word grenades and getting blood on his face as good as anybody, except it’s worth noting that the guy’s prose has a forthright, yet poetic air to it. Anyway. You can read more about him HERE. Read his latest Escapist article: “Truth In Fiction.” And purchase the Thackery T. Lambshead Cabinet of Curiosities. Please enjoy this, the first of (hopefully) many terribleminds storyteller interviews. Feel free to ask Will questions and taunt him into answering.

This is a blog about writing and storytelling, so before we do anything else, I’d like you to tell me – and, of course, the fine miscreants and deviants that read this site – a story. As short or long as you care to make it, as true or false as you see it.

Alas, I don’t tell stories lightly. I can’t just launch into one on command. I need time to fret and ogle, to weigh and measure, to test and retest the tale. The last time, I think it was, that I tried to just tell a story on the fly, it was a story from memory that I augmented to make more compelling for the audience. But it wasn’t my story, it was a story I’d heard on the Internet. (“Heard,” I say—I’d read it.) It was a story about how William Gibson forms his novels, about how he does research and what he reads when he’s writing, that sort of thing.

Anyway, I was speaking at a convention seminar in Atlanta. I was talking about writing and diligence and discipline, which is hilarious of me, and like an idiot asshole I’m telling someone else’s story about someone else’s deadlines and someone else’s method. I start off by invoking William Gibson. “William Gibson once said,” I said and then paraphrased a quote of his about reality and the muse. (And I say “paraphrased” generously—I may have made up a bunch of the quote, but the gist was there.)

I keep going. I mention William Gibson again, this time talking about deadlines and inspiration and how a novel (I’ve never written a novel) knows when it is finished. The audience is real quiet.

I keep on going. I cite William Gibson a third time, saying how I once read an interview with him where he used to struggle with how to get characters to cross rooms—to handle blocking and staging—and how he’d avoid the problem and just leave it to the reader and how if William Gibson could do it, then dammit, so could we.

A hand goes up near the back of the room. There’s maybe forty, fifty people in attendance. “Yes?” I say, pointing at the hand.

Heads turn and lean out of the way. I see the spectacles and the face. My imagination flashes to the back-cover author photo of, I don’t know, IDORU. The black-and-white windswept author photo overlays on the man across the crowd from me. It’s him. William Gibson is among us. I’d invoked his name three times and now he was here.

“Yeah,” he says. “I never said that.”

I stay real still. Then I die. I die dead. Right there. Dead.

Now, that story’s not true. The only time I’ve ever seen Gibson in the flesh was when he signed my copy of PATTERN RECOGNITION in a suburban bookshop outside Minneapolis. But this is why I try not to tell stories on the spot.

How would you describe your writing style?

I figure that’s for other people to do. I change voices and styles a lot, depending on the needs of the assignment I’m working on. I haven’t had a lot of time to write my own material lately, so my style has sort of been developing into a melange and what, from all of those different styles and voices, is mine? I don’t know.

Here’s something that’s true, though: my style is certainly developing still. Maybe it’ll always be developing. I aim for honesty in my own writing, but beyond that, the voice and approach I take to getting that honesty out is always in motion. This is good, I think, right? I don’t want to be one of those writers whose stories are all the same.

In high school, I once had my writing style compared to Mark Twain’s. I’ve been carrying that around with pride ever since. Earlier this year, my business partner, Jeff Tidball, who is a stunningly great writer, compared my voice to Michael Chabon’s. I’m going to keep that on my keychain and thumb it whenever I get the serious doubts.

What’s awesome about being a writer, and conversely, what sucks about it?

The work is awesome. It genuinely awes me. My imagination is probably my strongest muscle and I have a job that lets me use it. That’s pretty great.

Of course, I’m almost never not working. The pay is shit and the hours suck. I sort of love that, too, though. I always know what I should be doing—I should be working. When I’m not working, I should be. When I am, I should be. I should be working.

What’s awesome is that I’m doing the only thing I’m good at—writing. What sucks is that I’ll probably never be happy with my skill level—I always need to be getting better. That sucks, but that’s sort of awesome, too. Always something to do.

I should be working.

Deliver unto us a single-serving dollop of writing or storytelling advice that you yourself follow as a critical tip without which you might starve and die atop a glacier somewhere:

I once saw this written on a 3×5 note card on my brother’s bedroom wall, over his desk. He’s a writer, too:

The cardinal sins of storytelling:

1. Boredom

2. Confusion

Favorite word? And then, the follow up: Favorite curse word?

I don’t play favorites. Today I tell you that my favorite word is that old writerly chestnut, _defenestrate_, and tomorrow I say to myself, “Come on, man! That’s a pretty obvious choice, isn’t it?” So I say, “I put the word _mooncalf_ in my biography for a reason,” and then I find out that somebody is offended by that word. Or I go, “Let’s just say _zeppelin_ and be done with it,” but then you think I’m some kind of obsessive, when really I’m just fascinated by dirigibles. No way to win this game. So, yeah, I don’t know.

Favorite curse word, though, has got to be that classic: _fuck_. I like its versatility. Excuse me, its fucking versatility, you fuck. I like fuckery and motherfucker and fucktastic and their many kin. It’s like an atomic cuss, from which many vulgar molecules can be wrought. I mean, fuck.

Favorite alcoholic beverage? (If cocktail: provide recipe. If you don’t drink alcohol, fine, fine, a non-alcoholic beverage will do.)

Again with your favorites. Lately I’ve been drinking Hendricks gin and tonics (a large pour of Hendricks gin and an eyeballed dose of tonic) and white russians (one part vodka, one part Kahlua, one part cream). Also, I like scotch neat or with one ice cube. If you’ve got port, I’ll drink a lot of it.

Recommend a book, comic book, film, game: something with great story. Go!

How about a game that surprised me with its storytelling? Months and months ago, a game came out called ENSLAVED: ODYSSEY TO THE WEST that was written by Alex Garland (28 DAYS LATER, NEVER LET ME GO) and co-directed by Andy Serkis. Serkis also acts in this game, doing dialogue and motion-capture work. It features some of the best, most nuanced performances I’ve ever seen in a video game and all of it was sadly overlooked by the gaming public. The gameplay is solid running-and-jumping adventure-type stuff in an overgrown post-apocalyptic world (the game’s especially lovely in the early levels) and it’s all loaded up with ongoing character-building dialogue a la PRINCE OF PERSIA: SANDS OF TIME. It’s not a perfect game, but it was overlooked for sure and now you can get it cheap, new or used. Well worth the time you’ll spend in that world.

Where are my pants?

Not until I get my $240 in small, non-sequential bills, Wendig.

Got anything to pimp? Now’s the time!

My new book is THE THACKERY T. LAMBSHEAD CABINET OF CURIOSITIES, which I share with a crazily wonderful contributor roster that I’m just going to list here, because when you list all these names together they make some kind of harmonic resonance pulse: Holly Black, Greg Broadmore, Ted Chiang, John Coulthart, Rikki Ducornet, Amal El-Mohtar, Minister Faust, Jeffrey Ford, Lev Grossman, N.K. Jemisin, Caitlin R. Kiernan, China Mieville, Mike Mignola, Michael Moorcock, Alan Moore, Garth Nix, Naomi Novik, James A. Owen, Helen Oyeyemi, J.K. Potter, Cherie Priest, Ekaterina Sedia, Jan Svankmajer, Rachel Swirsky, Carrie Vaughn, Jake von Slatt, Tad Williams, Charles Yu, and many more.

This is a vast, multi-author, multi-artist anthology exploring the fascinating collection of artifacts and doodads gathered by the sadly deceased Dr. Lambshead during his remarkable life. Inside you’ll find stories, essays, and art galore. It’s really a hell of a book, envisioned and assembled by the cunning and imaginative intelligences of Ann and Jeff VanderMeer.

How did you get involved with the Cabinet of Curiosities?

I’ve long been fascinated by collectors like Dr. Lambshead. My family is full of avid collectors and I married a museum professional, so my fascination is nearly utter, really. Dr. Lambshead, perhaps best known as a medical pioneer and adventurer, also amassed something approaching a museum of his own—the “cabinet” of curiosities is not so much a cabinet at all—and it’s one of those iconic storehouses of occult and esoteric lore that I dreamt about visiting.

I work with Jeff VanderMeer at a creative-writing summer camp called Shared Worlds (http://shareworlds.wofford.edu), which he co-founded, and when I heard that he was working on a new book about Dr. Lambshead, I pestered him and bought his cigars until he let me do some research and write about an item from the collection all on my own. In the end, Jeff gave me the task of writing about the Auble Gun, because I have some (modest) experience with antique firearms.

Some of that is even true.

Care to tell us about your story, “The Auble Gun?”

“The Auble Gun” began with an illustration by Greg Broadmore of a tuxedoed gentleman with a spectacular, steaming Gatling-style gun on his shoulder. I added a faux-academic exhibit writeup, drawing a bit on my own feelings of inadequacy and my own limited experience with archaic firearms, and created a familial legacy of ambition, desperation, and failure that I probably think is funnier than it actually is. And, of course, we get to see how Dr. Lambshead’s own history intersects with that of the Auble Gun.

The truth is, “The Auble Gun” has a lot of pathos in it for me, all hidden under a layer of stiff academia. It’s a dynastic tale about reaching beyond one’s grasp, dedicating one’s self to someone else’s obsession, and always coming in second place. While it’s about the Auble family, it’s also about my experiences, to some degree. But I don’t want to say much more than that—I want to keep the focus on Dr. Lambshead and the Aubles, if I can. It’s their story, really.

You’re also a game designer. Tell us how playing and designing games helps you — or hinders you — in the act of writing prose fiction.

This is something I wrestle with and have written about a bit at my blog, actually. The short version is that storytelling games like table-top roleplaying titles (your Dungeons & Dragons and your Trail of Cthulhus) have helped me internalize and gain valuable traction in thinking about storytelling on the fly. I’m much more comfortable with story structure and characterization thanks to these games than I would be otherwise. Four hours spent running a great story game are solid experience for dealing with questions of boredom and confusion, for learning how to quickly get characters across, and for learning how to set a scene. They hone instincts.

The downside is that I sometimes get decision paralysis while writing straight-up prose fiction now. Without players, as living agents and audience, making decisions in the moment, I sometimes find it difficult to decide just which way a story should unfold. As a game writer, I’m usually writing options and consequences for exploring various options. As a story writer, I’m writing one option, one outcome. What if the better story lies through the door not taken? What if I force a character into an uncharacteristic decision? What if, what if, what if?

So, while I think story games are great practice for a lot of skills, they’re no substitute for hours logged making mistakes and correcting them at the keyboard, writing actual fiction or actual script pages. These two skill sets overlap, and that part of the Venn diagram is where I’m strongest, but the rest of those circles are their own things. Got to log hours doing both if you want to be good at both.

You’re a big fan of soundtracks — both as inspiration for writing and just for good old-fashioned ear massage. Recommend a soundtrack that most people wouldn’t think to seek out.

Hmm. Tricky. I’m often surprised by the soundtracks and film scores that people actually have heard of or sought out. Bear McCreary’s had rollicking concerts for his BATTLESTAR GALACTICA musical scores, for example, so I’d say people have thought to seek them out. I used to recommend Michael Giacchino’s early scores for the MEDAL OF HONOR games, but he’s got an Oscar now and is pretty well established, so I imagine that you’ve sought those out if you wanted to. I often tell people that the John Powell scores for the BOURNE films are excellent writing music—you’ll feel like you’re accomplishing something even when you’re not—and the BOURNE ULTIMATUM score is an easy recommendation, but maybe that’s too obvious, too? David Holmes’ score for OCEAN’S TWELVE is the best in that series, in my opinion, and has a great energy and style to it, too. It really depends what mood you’re trying to get in.

What are you working on now? Can you give us a hint? Whet our appetites?

Right now, I’m wrapping up development on the MISTBORN ADVENTURE GAME for Crafty Games, based on the novels by Brandon Sanderson. I’m editing Jeremy Keller’s hard-boiled cyberpunk game, TECHNOIR. I’m also developing a couple of original RPGs for outfits like Pelgrane Press and, don’t tell anyone, Evil Hat Productions. The first of them, for Pelgrane, is called RAZED, and it’s an apocalyptic investigative survival RPG with a highly malleable setting. The other is so new that I don’t think I can really talk about it, but it’s grim and exciting and finally lets me play with a subject I’ve been wanting to tackle for years. I also have a couple of independent games in development, including a stealth-action title called DARK, which I’m hoping to launch on Kickstarter in the coming months.

All of that doesn’t include a collection of short stories that I’ll be publishing later this year, I hope, or the progress by agonizing inches that I make on my novel. I have to keep busy to keep the checks coming in and I frequently get distracted off of my own projects by projects for other people, ’cause I need to eat and my own projects are all gambles on future monies, rather than contract-driven certainties (well, “certainties”). You know how it is.

“Decisions, Decisions,” by C.Y. Reid


Okay. Here goes, the first weekly terribleminds guest post — this one by C.Y. Reid, who would like to talk to you about his experiences writing a Choose Your Own Adventure Android app. Welcome him, and don’t hesitate to drop down into the comments section and ask the dude some questions. Please to enjoy.

Have you ever made a really difficult decision? One that’s plagued you for days on end, the resulting nervous state of emotional limbo never quite seeming to dissipate despite what you’re doing, where you are, or what’s doing its best to distract you? We’ve all been there, and it’s tough.

Now, I’m not talking about the stuff that holds a conventional sense of gravitas. One university or another. One car, one coffin, one career or another. I’m talking about the ridiculously bizarre decisions we fixate on to the point of generating our own internalised state of OCD. Which sandwich to have for lunch. Which bus to get. Which film to watch.

These decisions are what we agonise over more often than those with more serious consequences (though I’d argue that a bad sandwich is pretty serious), because they occur more often, and sometimes form part of an overall set of choices that define our lives. With choose-your-own-adventure writing, you’re not offering people constant, life-changing choices – you’re offering them the small beat-by-beat movements, occasionally punctuated by cliff-edge decisions, like how to fight a dragon, or how best to shut down your imagination while reading Chuck’s search term bingo posts.

It’s best to think of a choose-your-own-adventure novel like the roots of an old oak tree. You’re starting out from the trunk, the body of work that forms the basis for everything else – the world-fluff. Every smattering of nutrients you suck up through exploring the roots travels back up towards the surface, contributing to an ever-growing understanding of the world you’re exploring, page by page, in a far more direct and interactive way than you’re usually allowed to.

But each branching path can’t just be an obvious choice; a long, spiralling, weathered finger of wood with the resilience of aeons underground, or a short, dead stump. You have to make every single fork in the road matter just as much, and that means you can’t simply write sword-or-white-flag choices. A lot of recent videogames have featured choose-your-own-adventure elements, from Fable’s simplistic good-and-evil system to Mass Effect’s conversation wheel.

But the problem with these choices, and a lot of the choices I see in choose-your-own-adventure fiction is that they’re all based around an underlying theme of black-and-white morality. That theme is what is going to not only kill off half your pages, due to the fact that most readers will elect not to rape and pillage the townsfolk, rather than save and reassure them, but it’s also going to mean that the reader’s choices are simply a reflex.

Indecision generates fear, and I think that’s one of the reasons we get so stressed out about whether or not to dash to the duty-free just when our gate number is due at any moment. There’s that internal sensation of horror that pervades our decision, and I think by making people stop and think, you’re generating an adventure that means something to the reader.

Some storytellers think that they need an action beat every so many pages. But with this, every page in a choose-your-own-adventure tale is an action beat. Life isn’t a passenger experience, and if you’re offering someone a sense of interactivity within your fiction, you have to commit – half-arsing it just leaves them feeling like they’re playing within a sandbox, but you’re only letting them have the ambulance and the Tonka truck, rather than the Hot Wheels dream machines you’re dabbling with in the background.

If you want to write a choose-your-own-adventure novel (please do, it’s an art form that deserves more attention), I salute you, because as a writer, it’s brave of you. To hand one of the reins over to the reader and step back, knowing that they might only see less than a third of the pages you’ve written, perhaps never even reading through again to get a different ending, is bold. So be bold, and allow them to choose adventure.

C.Y. Reid is an SEO copywriter by day (boo, hiss, etc), and a passionate creative writer by night. He blogs at www.cyreid.com, tweets as @ReidFeed, and you can find Scoundrel’s Cross at this link.

Go Ahead, Shoot The Baby

Good news: I finished the novel. Better news: I still have to do some editing, so I’m reserving a portion of this week for that purpose. Best news: that means you still get some guest posts from some awesome human beings. First up this week is Stephen Blackmoore, an all around awesome dude and great urban fantasy writer. His first book, CITY OF THE LOST, drops next year, and the follow-up, DEAD THINGS, not long after. In fact, I just had the pleasure of reading DEAD THINGS, and it was one of the most gripping books I read all of last year. So. Here’s Stephen, then. Don’t forget to check out his website, LA NOIR, and follow the man on Der Twittermachine: @sblackmoore.

I’ve been watching a lot of film noir from the forties and fifties over at Noir City, the noir film festival going on this month at The Egyptian Theater in Hollywood, and I’ve noticed something that’s been bothering me.

There are a lot of happy endings.

Sure, people die. There’s betrayal, shattered dreams, physical and psychological torture. But come on, you don’t have that you don’t have film noir. But with few exceptions the protagonists not only survive, they fall in love and live happily ever after.

Seriously, what the fuck?

Take the film THE HUNTED (**spoilers ahead, but that’s okay because chances are you’ll never see this movie**) with Preston Foster and Belita, who’s got to have one of the weirdest careers in film noir history. It’s about a cop who sent his lover up the river for robbery four years before and she might not have done it. Now she’s out on parole after vowing (cue dramatic chord) vengeance.

There’s a creepy factor, Foster was 48 when he made this movie and Belita’s character is 20, which means his character was banging her when she was sixteen, so that’s nicely disturbing. But that one scene where everything is supposed to climax in a hail of bullets and they kill each other before discovering she’s been cleared of the robbery and a subsequent murder?

Doesn’t happen. He gets shot in the shoulder. Shrugs it off. Her Electra complex is in full swing so she forgives him for railroading her into Tehachapi for four years. They jet off to Paris.

This is film noir cock block at its worst. Instead of walloping you with the haymaker you’re waiting for it taps you on the cheek in a pissy little slapfight. An otherwise interesting little film gets ruined because it pussies out at the last minute.

And that’s the writer lesson for today. Don’t pull your punches.

Everybody’s got a line they don’t want to cross. Ideas they’re not comfortable with. And those lines tend to extend into the things they like to read. I’m not saying it’s a one to one. Most of us, well, most of you, don’t really want to murder people.

But we’re just fine watching it on teevee. At least until we run into one of our lines.

There’s this thing in publishing I keep hearing about how if you hurt animals or children in your book you’ll alienate readers and get hate mail. Everything else is fair game.

Go ahead, eat the dismembered corpse of your antagonist. Lop off his head and ram it onto a stick. Just don’t shoot the baby.

You know what? Fuck that. Shoot the baby.

Your readers’ boundaries are there to be used. Violence, sex, torture, whatever. Those lines they don’t want you to cross, beat on them with a baseball bat. They’re chinks in their emotional armor. They’re exploitable. And whether you like the idea or not, as a writer you’re a dirty, lying manipulator.

Case in point, the novel BOULEVARD by Stephen Jay Schwartz. It’s about an LAPD vice cop who’s a sex addict. So, you know, it’s got sex. Lots of sex. Oooooh. Sex. Sex sex sex.

And it makes your skin crawl.

Schwartz has got sex scenes in this book that make you want to bathe in turpentine. It’s awkward, uncomfortable, explicit. There’s nothing erotic in it. It’s like watching an alcoholic go on a weekend bender.

He doesn’t pull his punches and instead of titillating, it’s tragic. And when it clicks just how fucked up this guy’s life is Schwartz owns you.

Now there is one thing about this I will say you can’t, must not, never, ever, ever do. Really.

DO NOT FUCKING WASTE IT.

It’s like that Bugs Bunny / Daffy Duck cartoon where they’re competing for the best vaudeville act and Daffy wins by blowing himself up. The audience cheers and Bugs tells him they love the act. His response?

“I know, I know, but I can only do it once.”

You got one shot at this. Do not fuck it up. The only thing worse than pulling your punches is swinging and missing.

You see it all the time. A killing that’s just there because the writer is trying to be edgy. There’s no emotional impact. It’s not there for the story, it’s there so the writer can jump up and down and go, “Look at me! I’m one of the cool kids! Watch me swing my dick around! It does tricks!”

That right there is what we mean by gratuitous. Don’t be gratuitous.

Unless you’re showing nudity. Then be as gratuitous as you like.

I mean, come on, that shit sells.

How Not To Be A Dickface As A Writer

As you may know, I’ve a novel due in the next couple weeks. By the time you read this I may already be done said novel, but I still want some padding during these days to give it a once over and make sure it’s in tip-top shape before it leaps forthwith into the publisher’s open, loving arms. That means, over the next two weeks, you’re going to see a bunch — nay, a bushel — of guest posts here at Ye Olde Terryblemyndes bloggery hut (“Where the Elite Meet to Eat Sweet Treats”). Friday’s flash fiction will remain ongoing, however. Anywho, here then is a guest post from sinister ink-witch and terribleminds favorite, Karina Cooper. Her website is here. And don’t forget to follow her on the Twitters.

May I have your attention, please? Hi. My name is Karina Cooper. I am a writer. Are you all paying attention? Yes? Good. Ready?

Charlie Sheen.

You know that thing you just did? That tic? That, right there, is why you want to hear me.

Look, I get it. You’ve spent all this time reading helpful blogs, tips, articles and the like all about how to be a better writer. How to cleverly avoid adverbs, narrowly miss writing yourself into corners, sincerely query your agents and editors of choice. You’re told how to save a penny, earn a penny, make a buck. There’s excellent how-tos, dos and don’ts, tidbits and bite-sized morsels of help from all over.

What I have never found? A reminder. One that Charlie Sheen dished out just by example. One that a handful of other prolific writers and wanna-be authors really should have been told. Shut up. Pay attention. Stare hard. I want these words branded in your brain:

Don’t be a dickface.

Ooh. Sorry, is that too much? Let me couch it in terms my agent said to me: “Don’t be a whack job online.”

Better? Good. Let me give you some background.

Once upon a time, there was an incredibly prolific writer who kept a blog. In this blog, she wrote all about the fact that her main character looks like her. And a fuckwit character in her books (a man whose character growth seemed to expand or retract based on this author’s whim) was actually based on her abusive ex-husband. In this same series, the weirdly perfect new hero was based on her now-husband, a man who used to stalk her. Are you creeped out, yet?

In a galaxy far, far away, another prolific author took to Twitter to share that the new work in progress sucked. That it was a bad day, but the sucky book was finished, and would be ready for readers to pony up $8 a pop for this sucky work of suckitude. Whine, whine, and one hand out to collect the earnings. Pity sales would skyrocket for sure… OR WOULD IT?

Meanwhile, back in Manhattan… An author took to roundly scolding every reader and reviewer who dared leave a less than stellar review on various review sites. This author would stalk the web for any mention of name or books, and leave trash-talking comments (sometimes anonymously), insulting everything from the reviewer’s taste to affiliations to intelligence.

…Are you sensing a trend?

Listen, my delicious friends, it’s a simple fact. Sitting behind the anonymous screen of your own computer makes you God. It makes you Zuul. It makes you untouchable and popular and ohmygodcrazy. They love you. They REALLY love you.

I’m here to tell you: don’t be fooled. It’s tempting to grab a beer and sit back on your digital porch, cranking out banjo tunes and shooting off your shotgun (overly complex metaphor is overly complex), but don’t. People are listening. No, really, read that again: people ARE listening. Once-fans or potential readers who don’t feast on drama and rage. Editors and agents who sure as shit are Googling your name upon receiving a query.

Have a blog about eating babies with a nice glass of cranberry juice? A Twitter rant about how stupid Editors X, Y, and Z are? An article extolling the virtues of the First Religion of Anal Bleaching? Congratulations. You’ve just shared with prospective employers three things: 1) you’re non-engagingly weird, and possibly a serial killer, 2) you can’t be professional and certainly can’t be trusted not to stir shit in what amounts to a place of business, and 3) you have an overly zealous obsession with harsh chemicals in delicate places.

None of these things are what we’d call “excellent business sense”.

Let me put it in very clear terms: Writing is a business. Editors, agents, these are your employers (and although it could be said that agents work for you, it’s you that has to earn them, see?). You DO want to get out there and be heard, but you want to be remembered for who you are, your own charming self, your awesome hair, and most importantly, what you’re writing and not what you’re frothing at the mouth about.

“But, Karina,” you whine, “I can only be me!” Okay, fine. The you with the spiky colored hair and facial piercings is eccentric. The you with the porcelain doll collection is quaint. The you with the ongoing obsession with neon pink polka dots and red armpit hair is… unfortunate, but you are what you are.

The you with the undying need to argue with people who don’t like your work, the you with the unhealthy desire to overshare about your sex/political/religious life, the you with seriously unresolved issues treating your blog like a therapist maybe should stay behind closed doors. That means off the net, out of the limelight, stuffed in a closet and beaten with sticks.

You want to write? Pfft, ANYONE can write.

You want to make it as a writer? You want to become an author by career? Then you gotta walk the walk. Talk the talk. Have attitude all you want, but don’t let it get the best of you.

Don’t, in fact, be a dickface.

I know this stuff. I’m a romance author. I’ve got magenta hair and more piercings than I know what to do with, I have a Twitter feed a mile long, I spam the ever-living hell out of the online community, and despite all of this weirdness I present, I am not a dickface, either. I can be ME without opening up my dirty laundry to the world.

Come, friends. Let us not be dickfaces together.

Oh, and you should totally go out and get my first book. It’s called Blood of the Wicked, and it’s out May 31st, 2011. Check it out on Goodreads! Actually, only do that if you or someone you know loves witches, romance, blood, murder, death, sex and gratuitous use of the word “fuck.” And happy endings. I love me some happy endings. Otherwise, just enjoy my glistening spam-meats over at Twitter.

Edit: Chuck also adds: Amazon has a pre-order button for Blood of the Wicked.

Be A Shark In The Waters Of Social Media

As you may know, I’ve a novel due in the next couple weeks. By the time you read this I may already be done said novel, but I still want some padding during these days to give it a once over and make sure it’s in tip-top shape before it leaps forthwith into the publisher’s open, loving arms. That means, over the next two weeks, you’re going to see a bunch — nay, a bushel — of guest posts here at Ye Olde Terryblemyndes bloggery hut (“Where the Elite Meet to Secrete the Tweets”). Friday’s flash fiction will remain ongoing, however. Anywho, here then is a guest post from game designer and big brain, the Evil Hat hisownself, Fred Hicks. His website is here. And don’t forget to follow him on the Twitters.

You’re online. You’re plugged in. You’ve already got the notion in your head that you are your brand. Your presence online is important. Building a community of fans is the key to making it all go. You take all of these as the givens of life as a 21st-Century Connected Persona.

And you’re completely at sea when it comes to social media, the dark waters of forums, Facebook, Twitter, and more. Even though you’ve already accepted the principles I mention above, it gets all wibbledy-wobbledy when you sit down to turn those principles into concrete action. It’s a big ocean, and you left your water-wings at home.

Time to become a shark.

Whuh? Huh? You heard me. One of those big fuckers with sharp pointy teeth. Never stops swimming or it dies. Always on the lookout for food. Shark.

That’s how you’ll survive those waters. You get in there, you hunt down what you need, you rip into it when you find it, and then you move on. That’s how you navigate the waters of social media, instead of those waters navigating you.

Here’s how it’s done.

Don’t Stop Swimming

For you, this means you don’t slow down and soak in any one location as you make your rounds. Breeze on through. Social media is chock full of stuff that will hoover onto your face given half a chance. This is essentially crap that will keep you from getting on to the rest of your life.

You know that thing about how there will always be more movies you could see than you ever possibly will in your lifetime? The amount of stuff you could waste your time on in social media is worse. Unless you’re planning on making a job solely out of keeping up with everything that’s floating around in these waters, it’s not worth your time.

This isn’t something you have to be perfect at: every now and then something will grab your attention. It’s fine to read that stuff, interact a little. But always remember: keep on swimming. Stay in motion.

If It Doesn’t Feed You, It’s Not Worth It

You’re a shark. You gotta eat. Look for the chum in the water.

In social media, that bloodylicious chum is in the form of your fans making an effort to contact you. It doesn’t take more than a quick thank-you or a funny one-liner response to make that fan’s day. Nobody’s (reasonably) expecting you to write a thousand-word treatise in response to their inquiry. So do the 100-character reply. Your fan will feel like they made a connection. The emotion that comes with that will strengthen the bond to you, and thus, the fandom. And that fandom’s what feeds you.

But sometimes you’ll need to hunt a little, too. Learn how to do a keyword search on Twitter, and save that search so you can run it regularly. Hook yourself up with Google blog search and give it your name and the names of your works. And whenever one of those pings with something new, that’s your blood in the water: get there, make a connection, and swim on, well-fed.

Let Them See The Fin

You’ve got a leg up on the shark. Your food wants you to eat it. So, if your fans are there to feed you, they need to be able to find you. The trick is in figuring out how to do it in a way that doesn’t slow down your swimming.

Automatic integration is the key, here. Make it possible for your blog to tweet when your post goes up, so those posts don’t happen in silence. Facebook makes it possible to automatically posts your wall messages to Twitter, or vice-versa — make that connection, so you don’t end up cheating one audience out of what the other one gets, and so you don’t have to manually push the same message twice.

Stay Frosty

Sharks do not care about how the other fish feel about them.

I’ll be the first to admit that this one’s tricky in the translation. Somebody takes a big crap on that story you wrote, it’s hard not to get all aflame about it. But there’s no percentage in letting others feel that heat. It’s a distraction. It doesn’t feed you. You’ll get in a fight, maybe you’ll both bite each other, and importantly you’ll limp away the worse for wear. Best to ignore it and swim along.

Or maybe do one better, and weaken this faux-predator with the gnashing teeth of kindness: thank them for taking the time to look at your stuff. Be polite, friendly, and awesome. They’ll look the ass, and folks who don’t like them will see a potential new connection in you.

Where’s The Blood?

Fellow sharks, sound off. Where are you smelling the blood? How do you stay swift, stay swimming? And where are you getting gummed up with social media? Let’s see if we can’t rip into your troubles and put you back in place as the apex predator of these here waters.