Once again I return not with a single blog post (because I can barely concentrate enough to manage that feat), but a prismatic one — a single blog post broken up into fragmented, colored beams. Please to enjoy. Or don’t. Don’t enjoy things. No obligations.
A good portion of my day is now spent as a digital hunter-gatherer. I eyeball our supply and try to loosely plan meals and such and then I’m like, I DON’T THINK WE HAVE ENOUGH EGGS OH FUCK OH FUCK and then I realize Easter is coming and so I spend an hour doing some kind of Internet deep dive trying to source local eggs, and I make a bunch of phone calls and then, boom, I get two dozen eggs and the day is saved. Until the next crisis. Do I have enough toilet paper? I better go check again, oh shit, oh shit. Can I wipe my ass with tree bark or an errant squirrel? Should I have some kind of toilet-side shower pail, a tabo?
Last night, part of my huntering-gathering was about cocktail ingredients. I know. I know. That is probably not healthy? I promise I’m not drinking any more, I’m just not drinking any less — zing! Ahem. No, it’s just, we have a lot of base spirits. I’m well-stocked on gin and whiskey and such, but then, things to mix? Not so much. And yes, you can drink whiskey straight, and I do, but these days I am a fancy man who sometimes likes to add in various syrups and occult reagents to my drinky-dranks. Or tonic, at least. I think tonic makes gin medicine. Right? Whatever.
An interesting side effect is our buying has moved almost explicitly local. By which I mean, a lot of what we’re getting (particularly regarding food) is coming from local providers, makers, growers, farmers, etc. — like, meat from local farmers, veggies/fruits from an upcoming CSA, apples (and hard apple cider) from a local orchard, oatmeal and flour from a local mill (!), sourdough starter from a local pizza place, bread from a local bread place, all deliverable or curbside. I say this again as a very privileged person: a 20-minute drive will put me at one of at least seven proper grocery stores, and that’s not including all the growers and farmer markets, which are considerable. I live in the opposite of a food desert. I don’t say any of this as a moral lesson, only noting the interesting shift in where our stuff is coming from. As a plus, what we are getting seems to be of a measurably higher quality. Again: privilege speaking, and not for much more money. Sometimes less, actually, with veggies and fruits. But our grocery stores are becoming erratic in their supply. I’m to understand this isn’t because the supply isn’t there, but chains are either broken or rearranging, so there’s gonna be some instability. Turbulence ahead in every direction, so onward we go, seat-belts tightened right the fuck up.
I should do another post about Animal Crossing. It’s getting all French Guyana up in my island. Except with more rampant capitalism.
I have a secret book. I just got edits for it. I’m excited about it but it does mean I’m gonna have to muster up some will to do proper work.
Actually, I have three secret books. No, wait, four. Not trying to humble brag, I actually lost count. None of them are announced yet. Publishing involves a whole lot of waiting. Especially now, when everybody’s just, SHRUG, I DUNNO WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING NOW.
People are losing their jobs in everywhere, and in publishing, too. It helps if you can buy a book. And if you can’t, taking one out from a digital library loan is good, too.
One by one you start to know more and more people who are getting The Virus. And you start to know people who are dead from it, too. Not just names you know, or people online, but real people. A lot older. But not all of them.
I think the most vicious bites this Virus takes are the ones regarding loneliness. It’s not enough that we are forced into relative isolation, but worse, if you get “the Cove,” you end up quarantined. And then if you die from it, you die alone. And when you die alone from it, you also have no funeral. None can gather to see you off into the beyond. You’re alone from snout to tail of this thing. On a boat, drifting out to sea, into the mist, until you’re gone.
Hang this on the GOP’s neck like a cursed albatross. All of it. Trump. McConnell. Every salivating little goblin in their crew. This is on them.
Sorry, that got dark. But I mean, it’s gonna, sometimes. It’s a pandemic. One made worse by intervention that is both ignorant and malevolent.
I feel like I wanna podcast or something. But I don’t know what the fuck it’d even be about. Certainly me and Carboni could fire up the Ragnatalk van again. (Here I’ll note that before I moved, we had been working on a rewatch of Avengers: Endgame. But now I’m like, is that inappropriate? Or extra appropriate?) I thought about doing a writing talk podcast, but do I even have the juice for that, mentally? It feels a bit like “rearranging the Titanic’s deck chairs” to try to focus on just talking about HEY HERE’S HOW YOU DO WRITE GOOD when the world is falling apart. Hmm. Not sure. More thought necessary. Or I’ll just sit and stare at the wall. There’s your podcast. It’s just me sighing and grumbling, ASMR-style.
Wanderers is still on sale. Still $3.99 if you’re so inclined. *stares*
So, it’s Biden. I wanted Warren. Was good with Bernie. Biden’s low on my list, but I’d vote for him over Trump any day. I mean, I’d vote for a pile of raccoons stuffed into a scarecrow over Trump, because I don’t hate myself and I don’t hate this country. So, I’m voting for the Supreme Court. For the environment. I’m voting because Biden is someone you can hold to the fire, and Trump isn’t. And one good thing about Biden I like is, I don’t think he wants this job. I don’t think he relishes it. That’s a plus to me. Regardless, I hope he picks a helluva running mate.
Fuck your lawns. Your lawns are a wasteland of nature. Here’s a good article, and it interviews rewilding advocate (and oh, also excellent novelist) Jeff Vandermeer. We did it last year at our last house and had a bumper crop of fireflies and a fox family take up residence. Gonna try it here and see how it goes. Will also try to plant a lot of natives when we have access to those plants, but not sure how I get them now. You might have a HOA that’s a dick about this sort of thing, but this might be a good time to try to push for changes — or just cough a lot anytime a HOA rep tries to get to your front porch. Maybe they’ll get eaten by whatever you have growing there, now.
I have a lot of new birds at the house. Birds I’ve not seen before. Let’s see, here’s a quick catalog for the four of you who care: Eastern towhee, Eastern bluebird, Carolina wren, golden-crowned kinglet, downy woodpecker, hairy woodpecker, red-bellied woodpecker, yellow-bellied sapsucker, Northern flicker, tufted titmice, black-cap chickadees, nuthatches, chipping sparrow, white-throated sparrow, song sparrow, tree swallow, Cooper’s hawk, red-tailed hawk, black vultures, turkey vultures, robins, cardinals, pine warbler, red-winged blackbirds, scarlet tanager (not seen this season, but in fall), blue jay, cowbirds, catbirds (also not yet seen this year), uhhh, let’s see, brown thrasher, gray junco, house wren, and there’s probably more? Anyway. Here, have some birbsnaps, bye.
doverwhitecliff says:
Thank you for the image of wiping your bum with an errant squirrel. I needed the laugh. Do errant squirrels come in bulk packaging? I’ll need at least 34 maybe 35 by the end of the week. Declawed and muzzled would probably be a good idea…
April 9, 2020 — 11:29 AM
CakeforAll says:
Big thanks to both of you guys_just spat my coffee out, laughing so hard with the whole squirrel/loo roll business! As always, your photos of birds soothed my poor, stressed brain Chuck; extra gratitude for that. Keep safe &(maybe?!) sane everyone.
April 9, 2020 — 11:37 AM
doverwhitecliff says:
Sorry about the coffee… I hate when that happens. Especially when it comes out your nose…
April 9, 2020 — 12:35 PM
Kristine M Raskopf says:
Wonderful – keep em’ coming! You swear more than my husband, but it’s all completely warranted. Two thumbs up!
April 9, 2020 — 11:58 AM
Anna M. Branscome says:
I’ve always liked “yelliw-bellied sapsucker” as s particularly old-fashioned yet vicious insult.
April 9, 2020 — 11:58 AM
Rachel says:
This is morbid but, I’ve been contemplating that whole “dying alone” thing. It’s difficult to digest that awful possibility. So, as we are writers here (mostly), is it a good idea to start writing to your loved ones? I mean, something to leave behind, stories, anecdotes, personal messages, words that speak for you when you cannot. I feel compelled to do this but so far haven’t found the courage. Regrets suck, so….
Anyway, we’re with you Chuck. Thanks for the post. Sincerely
April 9, 2020 — 12:14 PM
Lizza says:
Maybe you could just get started on a little binder? Don’t assume you’re on death’s door and create the whole thing in a hurry. It’s not a will, right? I imagine a thing like that would be richer if it could demonstrate the passage of time in your life. You could treat it like a journal or a scrapbook, and maybe place a mention of its existence in your actual will. That would be a cool find for family, I think.
April 11, 2020 — 2:19 AM
Beth says:
Thank you for always telling it like it is, dark, twisty, or ridiculous. Personally, I think a podcast somewhat like your blog would be amazing! A little life, a little writing, a lot of lifting up and informing. You are amazing and have turned me, and I bet so many others, on to so many amazing writers and people. I love the tip about buying local during this plague…I hadn’t really thought about that but am going to look up some places here in Denver. Thank you for everything!
April 9, 2020 — 12:17 PM
Johannah says:
I have also been pondering my cocktail accoutrements. Is that a thing? I think it has to be .. Anyway, sometime in the past 8 years I became a single malt Scotch person along with most of my family.
Then, in the past 5 years, I’ve become a gin drinker. I lean more to Hendrick’s and Hendrick’s Midsummer Solstice. Empress 1908 is also fab.
All of this to say, apparently it’s National Gin and Tonic day April 9th (not to be confused with International Gin and Tonic day October 19th) and I’ll be making a G&T and hoisting it up to toast you and all of us slogging it through this messed up timeline.
Cheers, Chuck.
April 9, 2020 — 12:22 PM
Lizza says:
Try Uncle Val’s Botanical, it’s the bomb.com.
April 11, 2020 — 2:23 AM
Jess says:
PLEASE do another Animal Crossing post. I’m still coming to terms with the fact that the local wildlife has to teach me emotions.
April 9, 2020 — 12:39 PM
Denise McInerney says:
Hi Chuck, I know what you mean about not being able to concentrate! I can almost feel my brain physically pushing back, screaming “I can’t process this info right now” and have to give up. Such a weird feeling! And forget trying to write these days–just not happening. We’ve been self-quarantining for four weeks now because my husband has a trifecta of COVID-19 health vulnerabilities–reduced lung function, heart valve issue, and diabetes. To make things even more fun, this past year he developed a life-threatening intolerance to sulfites, which we’ve learned are PERVASIVE in our food supply. We can no longer buy canned, frozen or boxed food. So everything has to be fresh. For the past month, I’ve been consumed with dehydrating fruits and blanching/freezing veggies and accumulating antibiotic-free meats (because sulfa drugs are now a no-no) to stash in the freezer, so I’m finally feeling more secure, food-wise, for him. I realize we’re extremely fortunate to be able to stock up on food, unlike so many who cannot, especially during this crisis. We’re trying to support our local food bank, as well as Jose Andres with his World Central Kitchen, which is doing amazing work as always.
Hey, I just bought “Wanderers” and look forward to reading it when my brain comes back online. Loving your bird pics! I have a feeder outside my home office window, and find the chirping and squabbling very calming, and somehow, soul-reassuring. Stay well!
April 9, 2020 — 12:39 PM
M.A. Kropp says:
The birds are helping me stay sane. I put up extra feeders this year just to keep them coming so I can watch them do their birdie thing in spite of the world falling apart around us. Birds, and cocktails, that’s the ticket to staying sane right now, I think.
I planned on turning our deck into a bee/butterfly/hummingbird refuge this year. We live in a development and are limited on planting in the actual ground, but I have lots of containers, including an 8×2′ raised bed for veggies. But I wanted to do pretty, helpful, natural stuff for the critters, too. But, like you, I don’t know when or if I will be able to get the plants I want. *sigh* I guess there’s always next year.
April 9, 2020 — 12:43 PM
N.E. Montgomery says:
On Beverages: Did you know you can make Bailey’s at home? The things we learn from Covid… 😉 On Focus, or lack thereof: thank you for continuing to remind me this is not normal, even if we’re all trying to pretend it’s normal, and that there’s a reason my YouTube is now populated with animal videos and software tutorials, sigh.
And, Chuck, I don’t think it matters what you talk about in a podcast–so many people would tune in just to hear your take on, oh, anything. Everything. Please podcast…
April 9, 2020 — 1:16 PM
Suzanne L Lucero says:
Love your birding list and photos, Chuck. A large and diverse bird population is one of the signs of a healthy environment, as is, oddly enough, a large variety of seeds and insects to feed the birds. Funny how that works.
Seen any bats?
April 9, 2020 — 1:46 PM
Joelle Reizes says:
We have the most beautiful pair of purple finches at our house but I’m always confused why purple finches are named that since they have no purple on them whatsoever. The most you could call them are “almost, maybe, slightly, magenta finches.”
April 9, 2020 — 1:57 PM
Anne Gray says:
You can order Toilet Paper from Commercial Toilet Paper suppliers Greenline Paper Company (https://greenlinepaper.com/product-category/tissue-towel-products/) And Uline Paper Company (https://www.uline.com/BL_1106/Toilet-Tissue-and-Dispensers). Get your toilet paper delivered, get good prices, and help take the pressure off the grocery stores!
I also encourage people to contact any local restaurants who are struggling with the suggestion that they sell toilet paper (and other grocery essentials) with their take-out or delivery food service. They too get their toilet paper through the commercial toilet paper distribution network, which is completely separate from the consumer market system.
April 9, 2020 — 2:42 PM
Suzanne L Lucero says:
Thanks for this.
April 11, 2020 — 8:29 AM
Tapeleg says:
I read Wanderers as a library book, and just bought it on the kindle. I know you don’t set the prices, but thanks for pointing out the sale. I
April 9, 2020 — 3:17 PM
Katie Doan says:
If you are interesting in re-wilding your property and native plants, check out Doug Tallamy’s books. He’s a bug guy but approaches gardens from the standpoint that if there’s no good quality protein bird food (ie, bugs), you won’t have birds. He writes about what natives give the most support to caterpillers/bugs and then support bird populations. It’s a trickle down (up?) that actually works!! He’s just got a new book out too. http://www.bringingnaturehome.net/
April 9, 2020 — 3:38 PM
chacha1 says:
Gorgeous photo of the towhee!
Also, thanks for the LOL at “I’d vote for a pile of raccoons stuffed into a scarecrow over Trump.” Yessir, me too.
April 9, 2020 — 5:11 PM
J.F. Constantine says:
Dude, I just got all my bird feeders refilled and I have all these lovely birds coming to eat the wonderful things I’ve put out there for them to eat. Having said that, I have serious bird jealousy looking at all your wonderful bird photos. Nevertheless, all those photos are very good for the spirit…
April 9, 2020 — 6:10 PM
J.F. Constantine says:
And I thank you for all those photos! Forgot to say that a second ago… 😀
April 9, 2020 — 6:11 PM
Margo Karolyi says:
I’ve been ‘shopping’ for native plants at the Free Forest Store. I carry a small shovel, gardening gloves, and a plastic (kitty litter) pan in the trunk of my car and when I see something at the side of the road (NOT on private property, mind you) I’d like to add to my woodland/nature garden, I pull over and liberate a few plants. I live IN a forest so I’m usually just adding to the variety of plants on the property, but if it grows nearby, I suspect it will thrive in my garden space. It’s amazing how many ‘weeds’ are actually pretty cool plants to grow in your garden.
April 9, 2020 — 6:28 PM
Gary says:
All hail the Glorious King Wendigoose, Keeper of the Birbs, Lord of the Raptors!! Long may He reign!
April 10, 2020 — 10:38 AM
sibohemian says:
It was refreshing to read all your “fragmented colored beams” and see the photos of those adorable, beautiful little birds. Their world hasn’t changed: they still sing their songs, they still crap anytime, anywhere like before… Good for them. Meanwhile, some of us are subject to hunting for toilet paper because some – using an appropriate word – asses, idiot hoarders, decided to stockpile the equivalent of several lifetimes, maybe hoping, in case the apocalypse finally comes, they would find redemption for their apparently spot-free but still unclean and smelly butts. Still dying, of course, but with a sense of dignified purity. Thanks for listening, you touched a nerve. Yes, I am upset about the toilet paper thing and yes, I bought a toilet-sprayer to avoid the squirrels. I love the idea of the podcast.
April 10, 2020 — 1:50 PM
Widdershins says:
Go rewatch Endgame … hell, start the beginning of the whole damn thing. One every night or so, and before you know it a month would’ve gone by. Watch the whole world get fucked over, and then watch as a few plucky First Responders, Truckers, and Kick-Ass-ers, put it back together again.
April 10, 2020 — 9:14 PM
Deborah Makarios says:
I feel like when this is all over communities need to hold massive-as wakes for those they lost – just get everybody together (once that’s a thing again) with mountains of food and oceans of drink and a day and a night of the stories of those who are gone.
April 10, 2020 — 10:26 PM
Lizza says:
Know what? Thank you for the word “tabo”.
I had been using that in my editing notes for content writing projects (as a cue for myself to remember what a certain section or para in an outline should be about — shorthand for “talk about”). My editor did act a little odd about seeing that word and asked me what it meant. He had a laugh but I had no idea why, and he never explained himself.
But I know what a tabo is! I just assumed they’d call it “the watering can thingy” I guess. The Pakistani kids I grew up with used them.
April 11, 2020 — 2:11 AM
Tracey says:
You have vultures??? Maybe you should introduce them to the orange merkin? He has to be one of the walking dead and could provide sustenance to the wee, bitty birdies. I shouldn’t scoff at your pustulant leader as ours (here in Australia) isn’t that flash. Love your work Mr Wendig, a podcast would be great.
April 11, 2020 — 5:14 AM
L. Friis says:
You might have a HOA that’s a dick about this sort of thing
Or a landlord. My husband is out there right now trying to mw our stupid lawn with a shitty broken mower and all we want to do is turn it into a meadow but we don’t own this house.
April 11, 2020 — 8:56 AM
Lara Mann says:
Another great blog entry, despite your initial warning that it may (ahem) wander a bit…very on brand! Love the bird pictures. Nature is one of the few things that soothe me now…I walk my dogs every day and while I’m out, I see many new faces on the sidewalk that I’ve never seen before, entire families consisting of moms, dad & kids, sometimes grandparents, too, and I know I never saw these people doing family time before. I am filled with irrational rage sometimes because I know they’re staying home because of Covid and because they can AFFORD to. I work a crappy job at a grocery store and no, I am not a hero for working every day, I HAVE NO OTHER OPTION! Because it’s just me paying all the bills, trying to keep a roof over my head, feeding multiple pets, etc. And I don’t have the luxury to stay home and learn to bake bread and become antsy from being indoors so long so I go for a nice stroll with my well-fed family who are doing just fine financially thru this crisis and will continue to do just fine when it’s over. And yes, I feel lucky to still have a job when many do not but while my grocery store is doing better than it ever has in history, for being out on the front lines every day I was told we will be getting a 1% raise. Yes, ONE PERCENT. That equals approximately an extra $4-$6 dollars EVERY WEEK! Can I get a hallelujah! So keep the “birb” pictures coming, along with all your books and stories of gaming and drinking games, etc, etc and I will see you at the polls in Nov, holding my nose and voting for Biden instead of Warren like I was hoping. Love ya, Chuck!
April 12, 2020 — 7:45 PM
wizardru says:
Those are some fabulous BIRB PICS.
There are points here where I’m utterly convinced that a significant portion of our population simply doesn’t care…about the pandemic, about other people or about themselves. I have no idea why. I have seen some people I think are personally quite reasonable still think that maybe the media is being mean to Trump. I don’t know how to process that or what to do with it. I consider McConnell to be the most dangerous man alive (Trump is a fool, but he’d be toothless and likely impeached if not for McConnell’s empowerment and protection).
As for a podcast, I’d listen to most likely anything (and you and Anthony’s stuff was wonderful). If in doubt, go with something you CAN talk about, whatever it is. Let the dialogue take you, like Schmendrick’s magic, where it will. Need a topic or a focus? Skip ‘work’ like telling people how to write good…you’ve written several books on this. Don’t make a podcast a job, make it a joy. Do something simple, like pick a book, comic, game, movie or TV show and tell people why you love it (or why it failed at some point). Discuss birds and apples, if that brings you joy or solace. It’s my obsevation that some of the best youtube channels for me are all people doing something they authentically love, like the 3D Printing Nerd, Steady Craftin with Crafsman or Black Magic Craft. AND GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO FAIL. it’s such a powerful thing, that permission.
Regardless of what you do or don’t do, be well, wordsmith. And leave those squirrels alone you rabid weirdo.
April 13, 2020 — 9:49 AM
merriamagrain says:
Pretty unlike of what’s happening here…maybe cause we export the best goodies and many people around in the countryside still have hens and orchards. The birds are gorgeous…it might be that you’re seeing more since you’re still enough to look at…it happened to me when I moved from the city to this place. Thanks for making the time more enjoyable
April 13, 2020 — 12:44 PM