Macro Monday Marks The Mantis Mastication

WELL, SOMEBODY WAS HUNGRY.

I encourage you to read the sordid tale of The Mantis And Two Ants, which begins with this tweet right here on my tweetypants timeline.

I also really like this photo:

I took off my shoe the other day and found a teeny little snail shell in it. So I put the snail shell on the edge of my sink and said, “I should take a photo of that shell because, hey, snail shells are cool.” When I returned, I saw that the shell was still a home for this little goober.

Then I ate him.

*crunch crunch crunch*

OKAY NO FINE I put him outside, sheesh.

Let’s see, what else is going on?

I’m sick, so that’s fun. CHILDREN ARE NEVER-ENDING PLAGUE FACTORIES, JUST SPEWING BACTERIA AND VIRUSES AND FUNGAL PATHOGENS INTO THE AIR, A CONSTANT MIASMA OF ILLNESS. My son’s been back at school one week and we’ve all got Ebola.

Invasive is still $3.99 for your digital devices.

I’ll be hanging out at B&N Bethlehem on 9/23 for their B-Fest book fest thing, which is kinda teen-oriented but not explicitly teen-oriented? I’ll be signing there at 4pm and then at 5pm will be doing a short writing workshop for teens.

Then, I’ll be hanging out at B&N Rittenhouse with the ever-charming and talented Fran Wilde for our annual FRANK AND CHANK SHOW, where she reads her beautiful prose and I read something about vulture barf and then she tells a knock-knock joke and we all eat cupcakes with my face on them. It’s weird but awesome. Also probably a Satanic ritual of some kind. Whatever, you need to go. That’s Fran’s Horizon Launch Party, on September 26th at 7pm. BE THERE OR BE FED TO THE BLOOD ENGINE.

And I think that’s it.

BYE.

*dissolves into a pile of fizzing bacteria*