Macro Monday May Contain Spiders

I warned you.

This post is going to be filled with spiders.

I know! I know. Some of you are arachnophobic, and the last thing I want to do is plunge you into a SPIDER FEAR SPIRAL because as a human skin stuffed with tarantulas, I’m sensitive to the fear.

But, just the same — I LOVE SPIDERS. Spiders are so cool! They eat bad bugs! They form pretty webs! They hunt and wait and predate. They almost never bite (unless you’re like, poking one in the face with your finger). Some, like jumping spiders, are even kinda cute. Whenever I see a spider in the house, I do my level best to rescue said spider and release her into the wild again.

So, this post will be filled with spiders.

But, I’ll give you some space between NOW and THEN, so you have some time to either prepare, or to close this post and to burn your computer with cleansing fire.

Is there any news I can get out of the way? Lessee.

Zer0es is still $2.99 for reasons unknown.

If you liked Zer0es, then I might suggest Invasive is a thing you maybe wanna pre-order. It takes place in the same universe and is set after the events of Zer0es — but, it’s a new story with new characters (though a few show up again). Why pre-order? Pre-ordering helps the writer, it helps the publisher, it helps you ensure you get the book in a timely fashion. It sends a signal through the PUBLISHING ECOSYSTEM that THIS AUTHOR IS DESIRABLE PLEASE CARRY THIS BOOK AND OTHERS AND ALSO GIVE THE AUTHOR A BAG OF MONEY ON THE BACK OF A GIANT CHOCOLATE PONY PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

I will be at SDCC but do not have my schedule confirmed as yet.

Did you see the Hyperion #4 preview? Well? DID YOU.

And finally, hey, I am now on the advisory board for AbleGamers.

All right.

I’m out of news.

It’s almost time for the spiders.

But first, I will give you a picture of a dog who has clearly eaten dirt and just doesn’t care.

Know, though, that after this adorable dog photo comes a cascade of spider photos.

KNOW THIS.

First: dog photo —

Now, spider photos.

First up, one of my favorites — a crab spider who looks like he’s floating through space, an ARACHNOSHIP sent on a journey to liberate his spider-people or something.

Okay, then: AAHHHH TELL ME HE IS NOT ADORABLE. Goddamnit jumping spiders are cute as fuck. Those big eyes! That innocent surprise! Never mind the fact that the jumping spider is a surprising effective hunter — who cares? So. Damn. Kewt. Am I right? I’m right.

Then: cellar spider. So diaphanous. So ethereal. So wispy.

Next up: SKULL SPIDER, MOTHERFUCKER. Okay, there is no such thing as a skull spider, I’m pretty sure, and this is really just a common house spider, I believe. Also, though, SKULLSPIDER will be the name of my metal band. Or maybe just SKULLDER.

Here: an orchard spider spinning a web!

Finally: one of my favorite shots of all time. SPIDER MAMA sits atop a throne made of her own egg, where she diligently guards her brood. Bad-ass motherly love right there, folks.

THERE.

The spiders have ended.

I have more spider photos, I do.

But I’ll wait.

Like a spider.