This week, the tiny person turns five.
Which astonishes me. He’s a bundle of energy and joy and occasional tempestuous grumpiness the likes of which god has never seen — he’s this wonderful kinetic lightning bolt of pure weird. I love him dearly and have such fun, and further, I have fun recording all his misadventures and goofy things he says. (I’ll miss it when he stops doing this.) So, on this week, I thought it useful to Storify all that, both for my record and for your amusement.
Behold — the wisdom of B-Dub, laid bare, writ large.
Ed says:
I love these posts about BDUB as it shows how children have no filter between thoughts and voicing them, but also they show us the world we see as mundane as being full of life and possibilities. Its sad we seem to loose this as we get older, this is why i love Sci-Fi/Fantasy we should imagine more than we do its what keeps us young……..now how do i write about a story about defeating evil with Kitten Magic?
May 19, 2016 — 8:46 AM
Stephen Carver says:
Send him a ‘Happy Birthday’ from a dude on the other side of the planet he will never know, who also has a son turning five this summer who loves dinosaurs, Dr. Who and sharks.
May 19, 2016 — 8:49 AM
Kristen says:
I wish your kid lived next door to my kid. The combined weirdness would be so epic.
May 19, 2016 — 8:52 AM
Kristen says:
And this just happened:
My little guy just stripped the stem off a fake flower and was using the exposed wire to poke things. When my husband took it away, TQ got all sad because he’d ruined the flower, and said “I guess everyone will think I’m Donald Trump now.”
May 19, 2016 — 9:51 AM
tambra nicole says:
I loved this so much! B-Dub you’re amazing. I think you need to write the Kitten Magic defeating Evil story with your Dad and also include illustrations. Happy Birthday!
May 19, 2016 — 9:12 AM
Meagan Wilson says:
(Insert smart, writer-y ramble here). Moving on. Your child is hilarious. ‘Nuff said.
May 19, 2016 — 9:14 AM
Laura J. Quinn says:
This is glorious. I am exhaling harshly at work, way too much, way too loud.
My nephew turns five this summer. Less amazingly weird days are ahead and it scares me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, B-DUB!
May 19, 2016 — 9:17 AM
Michelle says:
Happy Birthday, #Bdub! I love your words of wisdom, jokes and general weirdness.
May 19, 2016 — 9:42 AM
calebhess says:
Happy Birthday to the wee B-Dub!!!
May 19, 2016 — 9:42 AM
Angelle says:
My nieces and B-Dub could rule the damn world and I’d be ok with that.
May 19, 2016 — 9:44 AM
cuttydarke says:
DIARR-BEE-A? Are you feeding the child ghost chilies?
May 19, 2016 — 10:09 AM
kate pavelle says:
Given his fascination with insects and excrement, have you introduced him to the dung beetle yet?
May 19, 2016 — 10:34 AM
Todd Moody says:
A truly interesting bundle of neurons in that brain. Thanks for sharing these priceless moments!
May 19, 2016 — 10:43 AM
zeldaqueenofmars says:
Your son is as funny as you are! I see a future writer here! My birthday is this week also (tomorrow), so Happy Birthday to both of us!
May 19, 2016 — 10:57 AM
penultimus says:
Now we know where you get your ideas. Watch him in case he starts talking in the third person present tense!
May 19, 2016 — 11:10 AM
Shirley Will says:
I;ve *always* hated having to be unconscious & still all night. What a waste! I’m in my 50’s now, and still resent having to go to bed, lol.
My son is 26, and regained his goofiness after the teen years. His jokes have only gotten slightly better, though.
May 19, 2016 — 11:19 AM
curleyqueue says:
These are great! And I expect you will love having recorded the moments. Truly, it all passes so fast, and though each stage seems to bring new and fun verbal adventures (my youngest is only a few years older), there’s something truly special about that early phase of oddball innocence.
May 19, 2016 — 11:33 AM
Beth Anderson says:
I think you’ve cloned yourself. Nice work! Love your kid AND your blog.
May 19, 2016 — 12:59 PM
warjna says:
I must have a t-shirt that says “The Dark Side Does Not Please Me. I Will Defeat It With Kitten Magic.”
Brilliant! Happy Birthday, B-Dub!
May 19, 2016 — 1:38 PM
Mahima says:
This is absolutely hilarious! Favourite part has to be: “Is that it? I thought there was more.” XD
May 19, 2016 — 2:20 PM
chacha1 says:
“Kitten magic” is awesome, but I seriously love that photograph.
May 19, 2016 — 2:26 PM
HB says:
Dude. You have a *smart* kid. You are in so much trouble when he turns teen. ^.^
May 19, 2016 — 3:21 PM
J'aime says:
Hoping Episode 8 involves kitten magic now…
May 19, 2016 — 5:45 PM
pwodoomtt says:
All those Curious Georges paid off.
May 19, 2016 — 6:47 PM
Melinda Davis says:
Oh God, diar-beea. My ribs. Oh, my ribs.
May 19, 2016 — 10:24 PM
Deborah says:
All hail Queen of the Goats who rules with Kitten Magic!
May 19, 2016 — 11:56 PM
Amber says:
Your kid and my kid would be friends. My kid would love to tell your kid about the snails that eat her in her dreams, and then spit her out so the King can resurrect with magic. I’m sure they’d find common ground over fighting that three-headed werewolf (and, of course, the poop, because apparently they are both obsessed with poop).
May 20, 2016 — 3:35 PM
Wendy Christopher says:
Happy Birthday B-Dub! May you be Lord of the Cake! (Any way he could run for President and solve the world’s problems with Kitten Magic?)
And the good news Chuck, is that you’ve still got at least a few more years of this yet. As proof I offer this, from my nine-year-old son the other day:
“I’m actually quite sensitive – I think I have some girl DNA in me. Not on the outside though. That would be awkward.”
May 21, 2016 — 8:03 AM
ZonieMama says:
Loved this. My once-little guy is finishing elementary school today… his older brother will finish high school next year. Time flies! Thanks for sharing these great moments.
May 24, 2016 — 1:46 PM