So, here’s a thing that happened:
This blog turned 15 years old this month. On October 19th, actually.
Blink, blink.
Holy crap, this blog is old. It’s a surly teenager now. It’s slamming doors and stealing my whiskey. It just ran up the stairs and yelled down at me, YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD.
Oh, but I am, blog. I am.
If you’ll take a momentary trip with me in the Wayback Machine, you will discover that once upon a time, when Cavepeople rode to work on Pteranodons, I ran a BBS — a bulletin board system. (I had various names for said BBS: BizarroWorld, ShadowLands, UnReality.) It was like the Internet before there was an Internet, except my fucking shitty 486 computer ran it and you had to use a screamy dial-up modem to connect to my house. And there online I offered networked forums and games and warez and ASCII art and all those Cool Jamz, and I had a little writing group called WAR (Writers Against Reality, a weaksauce title but shut up, I was a teenager). I’m not even sure my parents knew I ran the thing? And one time, Bruce Campbell dialed in? Whatever.
When it came time to establish an online presence post-college and in the dawning era of the Intertubes, I decided that I needed a BLOG — which as I have noted before is like, the worst name for anything ever. Blog sounds like the onomatopoeia of my dog horking up a wad of ill-eaten grass. (Actually, vlog may be worse than blog, because vlog sounds like Dracula’s idiot relative. “Hi, I’m Vlad the Impaler, and this is my little cousin, Vlog the Inn Tailor.”) My initial plan when it came time to plan out this blog was that I wanted to have it serve as an online writer’s community, much as I did back when I was a SysOp running a BBS. Thus the name terribleminds — it was meant to evoke that feeling of, blah blah blah, a bunch of gloriously terrible creative minds getting together and shooting the shit about wordsmithy.
Except, that sounded like a lot of work and I also didn’t like people at that time so instead I said, “Fuck that shit, George,” and then I decided instead to just do a blog about me, me, me.
OH GLORIOUS NARCISSISM
As such, my programmer roommate at the time did a static HTML page — she did a cracking good job and set me up with rudimentary HTML skillz and an FTP client and I did all my updating the old fashioned way — by yelling code into a donkey who carried the blog up a mountain to the Internet.
And it was fine and nice and it was me yelling at me about me. Often about writing, sometimes about other rantylicious topics. But it had no metrics. It had no comments.
I had no idea who was listening.
Around 2009, Will Hindmarch suggested I be a big boy and actually get a WordPress installation, and I nodded and smiled and pretended I knew what he was talking about. Thankfully, he coached me through it, and next thing the world knew, I had metrics, and comments, and sweet hot hell people were actually reading this blog. It was like opening the curtain to your front windows and finding a bunch of people staring in through the glass.
The blog numbers have gone up considerably over the last several years, too.
2009: 35,000 views.
2010: 435,000 views.
2011: 1.5 million.
2012: 2.7 million.
2013: 3.2 million.
2014: 3.6 million.
And this year we’re on target to match 2014, with the added bonus of having daily subscribers — over 8,000 people who get these blog posts in their mailboxes, daily.
All the while, I’ve done it without soliciting money or posting advertising or any of that. I fuel the existence of the blog with the money I (ideally) make with my writing.
(Oh, I’m told blogs are dead now. But terribleminds will keep on, zombie-like. /braaaaains)
It’s been an amazing journey, and while I still hew roughly to the same style of blogging I did way back when (yelling at myself about myself), the original and seemingly forgotten goal of terribleminds actually circled back around and became a true thing: this really is, I feel, a community of and for writers. It exists because of all of you, so thanks for being here and being awesome. It’s mind-boggling that so many of you care to listen to the froth-mouthed gabbling of a freakshow like myself, but I really, really appreciate it.
AS SUCH, it is time to do a giveaway.
I initially though I’d give away my books, but meh, who wants that?
Then I thought, maybe I’ll give something bookish — a Kindle or what-not.
Even then, I feel like that runs counter to the spirit of the weirdness that is this blog.
So! Instead, I’m going to giveaway something TOTALLY RANDOM. Unexpected. A bizarre-o care package sent to one lucky commenter. Here’s all you gotta do:
Go leave a comment beneath this post.
Oh, and be from the U.S. — I know, that sucks, but international shipping is a terrible thing.
Then, on Thursday, I’ll pick one of you randos to receive MYSTERIOUS GIFTNESS.
*poof*
EDIT: We Have A Winner
The winner of the birthday fun is:
JEN.
Someone named Jen, no last name!
Jen, who wrote the comment, “Happy happy!”
Jen, I’ve got an email address for you, so I’ll try it, but if the one you signed in with is incorrect, ping me at terribleminds at gmail dot com so I can get a mailing address from you.
MYSTERY PACKAGE INCOMING.
addicted2black says:
Happy blogrthday! (best made up word) 🙂
October 29, 2015 — 1:41 AM
Ash says:
Hey Chuck,
Here’s the thing, I am actually not a writer, nor do I aspire to be one. Oh sure I had a weird itch once long ago, which is how I found your blog. So you may ask, why are you still here strange bearded creeper? Simple, you are a good person, and I like reading what you have to say about the world. Thats it really. I like reading some of your posts, mostly Search Term Bingo, Transmissions from Btown, things of that nature. And honestly, when you crawl up on your soapbox i pay attention. Now I’m not saying i sit there and nod sagely as you pontificate, but I agree with most of what you say about how the world should be. I don’t agree all the time but I know I will still enjoy reading it. OK, the real reason I enjoy the site so much is because of the gloriously beautiful vulgarity ha ha! So please, keep on Inking.
P.s. I am STILL waiting patiently for the story about the time you saw a tiger pee on a kid at tge zoo!
(If you readers are curious about where I got this from simply search Skyrim on Chucks Blog……he left it as a cliffhanger damn it)
October 29, 2015 — 2:00 AM
St.Louis says:
That is crazy, because I have seen the very same thing. Only it was two or three surely teenagers.
Perhaps we have been to the same zoo.
November 1, 2015 — 12:19 AM
Jennifer F. Santucci says:
Happy Blog-Birthday!
And, um, actually, I wouldn’t mind winning one of your books. Because BOOKS.
October 29, 2015 — 2:44 AM
KJ says:
Happy birthday! (I don’t know, can you talk to a blog? Will it tell me thanks for coming to the party?)
Chuck, I’ve shared your blog – shared you – with so many people I know who are or aspire to be writers. Thank you for sharing your weirdness… and thanks for the giveaway!
October 29, 2015 — 5:52 AM
Beth Turnage says:
Congrats, Chuck. Your blogcraft is inspiring. And you are right. Blogs are NOT dead. It’s just the few geniuses who can keep them going with fresh material year after year are rare. Long live Terrible Minds!
October 29, 2015 — 6:28 AM
Guy McLimore says:
25 years, huh? God, you are an ancient bastard. I know, for I, too come from the long abo days of screeching modems and BBS madness. Glad to find you here, still blogging away, unmindful of the fact that we are dinosaurs still surviving among the speedy little rodents around us.
Here’s to geezerhood!
October 29, 2015 — 7:02 AM
J. B. Sako says:
Happy birthday, Chuck’s Blog. Don’t stay out too late. You’ve got school tomorrow.
October 29, 2015 — 7:30 AM
pwodoom says:
I thought the 486 was the shit, I had a Commodore 64. Congrats!
October 29, 2015 — 7:42 AM
Pavowski says:
Some of your posts really and truly inspired me to pick up the pen and get writing, two years ago. Cool to hear about your humble beginnings. I read your drabble pretty much daily!
October 29, 2015 — 7:59 AM
wendyswardrobe says:
Happy Anniversary! Mysterious giftness. Sounds intriguing.
October 29, 2015 — 8:06 AM
The Daily Assassin (@TDA_Rook) says:
Ah the BBS days. That’s where I learned people like being anonymous jackholes. Modern comments section are like BBS forums with less flashing red text. Congrats on 15 years!!!
October 29, 2015 — 8:33 AM
Meagan says:
This comment started as a long-ass narrative about reading Terribleminds. Screw that, no one wants to hear my not-funny reminiscing. This blog is my favorite, and I frequently share posts with friends, of the IRL and social media varieties.
Holy shit, I had no idea you’d been doing this blog-thing for so long. Happy Birthday to a not-quite-old-enough-to-drive surly teenager.
October 29, 2015 — 8:37 AM
Eli says:
Happy blog party! Also, I like mysterious giftness.
October 29, 2015 — 8:38 AM
Chris Lites says:
Now I forgot what the crap blog is short for…oh, wait, web log. I learned that because I had a crush on Tech TV’s Morgan Webb. When there was Tech TV. I hear the still have it Canada but, meh, Canada.
October 29, 2015 — 8:41 AM
Qwill says:
Congratulations! Happy Blogrthday! And many more!
October 29, 2015 — 9:16 AM
A Z says:
2000 is forever ago. Congrats.
October 29, 2015 — 9:19 AM
Patti Hermes says:
So let me get this straight, only 8,000 of your umpteen readers are actually organized enough (or disorganized and need a reminder) to subscribe so they can just scroll through their email, hey look who posted some shit after I went to bed last night, AWESOME way to start my morning! Oh and educational too, I’ve used some of your wordplay to teach writing to my boys (geeky homeschooler) and now my teenager regularly confounds his teachers in hs. Win!
Congrats on keeping it real for so long. Don’t ever stop. 🙂
October 29, 2015 — 9:31 AM
lburkart6 says:
GIFT ME. Also, Happy Blogrthday.
October 29, 2015 — 10:07 AM
Ryan says:
Happy Blogrthday! Your writing rants are epic and inspiring.
October 29, 2015 — 11:09 AM
BillyHigginsPeery says:
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, YOU BEARDED MOTHERFUCK. QUICK QUESTION: WILL BRUCE CAMPBELL BE PLAYING THE ROLE OF ATLANTA BURNS IN THE UPCOMING MOVIE ADAPTATION OF YOUR BOOK, ATLANTA BURNS? I SEE A LOT OF POTENTIAL.
THANK YOU AND GOOD DAY, YOU OLD OLD MAN.
October 29, 2015 — 12:29 PM
Lisa says:
This morning, I woke up and before I got my cup of coffee, I looked in my mailbox for your blog.noooooooothing!!! I’ve been waiting the whole day for it. I’m breaking down here. I need some ass-kicking-truth to hold me together today.
God, I’ve been subscribed only a month. I’m afraid of finding out what I’m going to morph into by the end of this year. Happy blog’s birthday…
please pick me!!!!!
October 29, 2015 — 4:46 PM
David Joyner says:
Happy Birthday, Terrible Minds! Thanks for your blog and keep up the great work, Chuck.
October 30, 2015 — 6:04 PM
Katy says:
Idk if you’re still doing this, but happy blogrthday!!!!!!! :-D:-D:-):-D:-)=-OB-)O:-):-P:-PO:-):-D:-)o.Oo.O;-):-X:-X;-):O:O:-DO:-):-P:-!
October 30, 2015 — 9:03 PM
decayingorbits says:
Happy Birthday Blog. You’re not getting older, you’re getting better.
October 31, 2015 — 9:15 AM