So, here’s a thing that happened:
This blog turned 15 years old this month. On October 19th, actually.
Blink, blink.
Holy crap, this blog is old. It’s a surly teenager now. It’s slamming doors and stealing my whiskey. It just ran up the stairs and yelled down at me, YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD.
Oh, but I am, blog. I am.
If you’ll take a momentary trip with me in the Wayback Machine, you will discover that once upon a time, when Cavepeople rode to work on Pteranodons, I ran a BBS — a bulletin board system. (I had various names for said BBS: BizarroWorld, ShadowLands, UnReality.) It was like the Internet before there was an Internet, except my fucking shitty 486 computer ran it and you had to use a screamy dial-up modem to connect to my house. And there online I offered networked forums and games and warez and ASCII art and all those Cool Jamz, and I had a little writing group called WAR (Writers Against Reality, a weaksauce title but shut up, I was a teenager). I’m not even sure my parents knew I ran the thing? And one time, Bruce Campbell dialed in? Whatever.
When it came time to establish an online presence post-college and in the dawning era of the Intertubes, I decided that I needed a BLOG — which as I have noted before is like, the worst name for anything ever. Blog sounds like the onomatopoeia of my dog horking up a wad of ill-eaten grass. (Actually, vlog may be worse than blog, because vlog sounds like Dracula’s idiot relative. “Hi, I’m Vlad the Impaler, and this is my little cousin, Vlog the Inn Tailor.”) My initial plan when it came time to plan out this blog was that I wanted to have it serve as an online writer’s community, much as I did back when I was a SysOp running a BBS. Thus the name terribleminds — it was meant to evoke that feeling of, blah blah blah, a bunch of gloriously terrible creative minds getting together and shooting the shit about wordsmithy.
Except, that sounded like a lot of work and I also didn’t like people at that time so instead I said, “Fuck that shit, George,” and then I decided instead to just do a blog about me, me, me.
OH GLORIOUS NARCISSISM
As such, my programmer roommate at the time did a static HTML page — she did a cracking good job and set me up with rudimentary HTML skillz and an FTP client and I did all my updating the old fashioned way — by yelling code into a donkey who carried the blog up a mountain to the Internet.
And it was fine and nice and it was me yelling at me about me. Often about writing, sometimes about other rantylicious topics. But it had no metrics. It had no comments.
I had no idea who was listening.
Around 2009, Will Hindmarch suggested I be a big boy and actually get a WordPress installation, and I nodded and smiled and pretended I knew what he was talking about. Thankfully, he coached me through it, and next thing the world knew, I had metrics, and comments, and sweet hot hell people were actually reading this blog. It was like opening the curtain to your front windows and finding a bunch of people staring in through the glass.
The blog numbers have gone up considerably over the last several years, too.
2009: 35,000 views.
2010: 435,000 views.
2011: 1.5 million.
2012: 2.7 million.
2013: 3.2 million.
2014: 3.6 million.
And this year we’re on target to match 2014, with the added bonus of having daily subscribers — over 8,000 people who get these blog posts in their mailboxes, daily.
All the while, I’ve done it without soliciting money or posting advertising or any of that. I fuel the existence of the blog with the money I (ideally) make with my writing.
(Oh, I’m told blogs are dead now. But terribleminds will keep on, zombie-like. /braaaaains)
It’s been an amazing journey, and while I still hew roughly to the same style of blogging I did way back when (yelling at myself about myself), the original and seemingly forgotten goal of terribleminds actually circled back around and became a true thing: this really is, I feel, a community of and for writers. It exists because of all of you, so thanks for being here and being awesome. It’s mind-boggling that so many of you care to listen to the froth-mouthed gabbling of a freakshow like myself, but I really, really appreciate it.
AS SUCH, it is time to do a giveaway.
I initially though I’d give away my books, but meh, who wants that?
Then I thought, maybe I’ll give something bookish — a Kindle or what-not.
Even then, I feel like that runs counter to the spirit of the weirdness that is this blog.
So! Instead, I’m going to giveaway something TOTALLY RANDOM. Unexpected. A bizarre-o care package sent to one lucky commenter. Here’s all you gotta do:
Go leave a comment beneath this post.
Oh, and be from the U.S. — I know, that sucks, but international shipping is a terrible thing.
Then, on Thursday, I’ll pick one of you randos to receive MYSTERIOUS GIFTNESS.
*poof*
EDIT: We Have A Winner
The winner of the birthday fun is:
JEN.
Someone named Jen, no last name!
Jen, who wrote the comment, “Happy happy!”
Jen, I’ve got an email address for you, so I’ll try it, but if the one you signed in with is incorrect, ping me at terribleminds at gmail dot com so I can get a mailing address from you.
MYSTERY PACKAGE INCOMING.
Sylvidoptera says:
Happy happy birthversary to your blog! While I don’t post as often any more, I do have a LiveJournal that I’ve had for 15 years as of last month. It’s fun to go back and re-read some of the places I’ve been over the years. 🙂
October 28, 2015 — 12:38 PM
Carolyn says:
Comment! This is my comment! This is amazing – and amazing how much the online world has changed in 15 years. I got my first computer when my son was 2, and he is about to be 24. Sometimes I tell him about what life was like BC and BP or should that be BSP. He can’t fathom it, really, having always had it, having learned to point and click before he could talk. Normal these days though for kids. Where am I going with this? I don’t know. I just came to comment! So here it is.
October 28, 2015 — 12:38 PM
james orion says:
Discovered your blog at random about 2 years ago, now I tune in daily for writing motivation and laughs. Your blog rocks, you rock, zombified or not, keep it going man.
October 28, 2015 — 12:39 PM
A. A. Woods says:
Happy Birthday TerribleMinds! I’m so glad to be one of those subscribers who’s watched it grow over the past few years. 😀 You run a great blog here, Chuck, so don’t let the zombie-blogs get to it!
October 28, 2015 — 12:40 PM
Bonita Chambers says:
I enjoy your blog. It is the only one I subscribe to and read daily. Happy Birthday and many more.
October 28, 2015 — 12:44 PM
Terri Lynn Coop says:
Happy Birthday Terribleminds, here’s to the next 15 years when you are a balding accountant in a cube with a slight drinking problem who just go served with a child support order from that night after the prom 15 years ago that you don’t really remember.
Because we wuv wu.
Seriously, thank you for this community and your friendship and booky stuff.
Terri
October 28, 2015 — 12:45 PM
Amanda Helms says:
Happy blogday! Which is better than a blobday or a flogday (well, some people may like a flogday. YKINMKBYKIOK). However, a blogday is perhaps closely tied with a grogday.
*blows noisemaker*
October 28, 2015 — 12:49 PM
Jenni Cornell says:
Love your blog! Thanks for sharing. Fifteen years is quite an accomplishment. I’ll keep reading the dead blog as long as you keep writing. Bravo!
October 28, 2015 — 12:58 PM
K.C. Wise says:
Wow, congratulations! You have created a fantastic little corner of the internet and I’m so grateful. Thanks for making this writing hustle a little more tolerable, a little less intimidating and certainly a lot more fun!
October 28, 2015 — 1:14 PM
Elizabeth E. says:
Happy Blogrthday, Terrible Minds! Many happy returns, etc. Coincidentally, my birthday is next week, though I am a hair older than 15, and I am happy to be celebrating in such close proximity to your celebration. Huzzah!
October 28, 2015 — 1:19 PM
Nancy S. says:
Happy happy birthday, TerribleBlog!
October 28, 2015 — 1:27 PM
Daniel says:
Happy blogrthday! i’ll never forget when I first stumbled across Terrible Minds and I stubbed my toe, and it got infected, so they cut it off. But it didn’t die. Instead it just grew and pulsated and gave birth to lots of little baby toes.
October 28, 2015 — 1:28 PM
thesteveoftime says:
A scare package!?
October 28, 2015 — 1:28 PM
parkrrrr says:
Who wants your books? Only everybody! Granted, most of them don’t know it yet.
October 28, 2015 — 1:35 PM
Kyra Dune says:
Happy Blogrthday, Terribleminds!!! *trumpets and glitter* My favorite place to enter the padded room and embrace the madness.
October 28, 2015 — 1:37 PM
writing, writing, words words words. says:
Happy birthday!! And thanks for all you do here. *tears up* We love you. xo
October 28, 2015 — 1:39 PM
Sara Crow says:
Happy Blogrthday! Which I totally know is a thing you just made up for the hell of it. Good for the imagination, yes? But anyway, felicitations and drinks and whatnot. 😀
I have lots of your books but would love a random thing. 😉 Thank you!
October 28, 2015 — 1:39 PM
Jenny Hough says:
Ooh, ooh, pick me, pick me!
Sorry, after having bronchitis for 10 days, I’ve got nothing more profound nor memorable. Happy blogiversary!
October 28, 2015 — 1:44 PM
Jack Teng says:
Congrats on 15 years! Love the blog!
October 28, 2015 — 1:51 PM
Anthony says:
Stupid time ninjas. I’ve been coming here for years now. Not 15 years, but years. Where does the time go?
October 28, 2015 — 1:55 PM
anonymous says:
LOL OLD.
(Kidding. Congrats on making it this far. Also geez, BBS’s. Those are a bit before my time. Yes, you may now feel a bit old for that.)
Vlog is a terrible name, I agree. It just doesn’t flow as a mashup like weB Log did. At least it’s better than podcasts? podcasts that are made for devices that aren’t even iPods anymore?
October 28, 2015 — 1:56 PM
Penquillity says:
For several years now, your blog has provided a bright spot in my in-box. I share your annual NaNoWriMo posts with my regional Wrimos. Your posts on the craft of writing are like the Snickers Bar of blogs (read Terribleminds, Jeannie, you’ll feel more like yourself).
Thanks for sharing your worlds with us readers.
Jeannie Leighton
October 28, 2015 — 2:04 PM
tattoosandtaxes says:
You are a foul mouthed, quasi-insane inspiration. Thank you for bringing so many random and helpful facts into my life for so many years.
October 28, 2015 — 2:05 PM
Krista Ravenscraft says:
Thanks for sharing – and your unique form of expression which we would use in print were we not so wimpy. Writers, free your words!
October 28, 2015 — 2:08 PM
Kay Camden says:
\m/
October 28, 2015 — 2:09 PM
beezer_13 says:
Yay! Happy Blogrthday!
October 28, 2015 — 2:35 PM
jmaysky says:
As someone whose blog is still an infant, I’m incredibly humbled and inspired to read a surly teenaged blog. Also a very informative journey from which we mere mortals who don’t know how to code but want to can learn.
October 28, 2015 — 2:38 PM
BendyStraw says:
Mazel Tov! Thanks to your rousing, erudite discourse, phrases like “Holy Shitpickles” and “Sweet Saint Fuck” have become ingrained in my daily lexicon. After reading your post on metaphors, I can’t look at soft-serve frozen yogurt without thinking of a limp phallus. Nevermind the point you were trying to make, now it’s all just turtles and yogurt dicks all the way down.
Best. Quinceañera. EVER.
October 28, 2015 — 2:54 PM
RWSanchez3 says:
Happy Blirthday Terribleminds, and oh how many terrible and incredible things have you learned us! On a side note i really like the artwork for this post.
October 28, 2015 — 2:56 PM
curleyqueue says:
This blog is GREAT! Antiquated or no, I look forward to checking daily and on those occasions I can’t, I get all filled with squee that I’ll have multiple posts to peruse. Keep on keeping on Wendig, and happy blogobirthday!
October 28, 2015 — 2:58 PM
Denise Drespling says:
Congrats! Here’s to another 15 years of terrible–err–awesome-ness!
October 28, 2015 — 3:00 PM
shawnalewellenbooks says:
Congrats! You always keep me fired up to keep writing, so keep at it! YOU ROCK!!!
October 28, 2015 — 3:01 PM
Lisa says:
I subscribed to your blog this month. You were recommended by a friend who told me, “He’s very good, but uses very colorful language.” She was right on all accounts. Just finished reading Blackbirds. Loved it.
Happy Blogrthday!!!!!!
By the way, I live in the US. Being so new here, do I still qualify to get the prize? Please say yes! 🙂
October 28, 2015 — 3:24 PM
andrewmoney says:
3.6 million reasons why you’re nothing but awesomsauce! Congrats on hitting the fabulous 15, here’s to *at least* 15 more!
October 28, 2015 — 3:29 PM
Alexia Cardenas says:
Happy blogrthday Chuck! Hope to keep reading more of your stuff for years to come!
October 28, 2015 — 4:00 PM
Jennifer Bushroe says:
Happy Blogrthday, Chuck!! 3.6 million views is an astounding number, but don’t fool yourself—you’ve earned every bit of your success. Thanks for being such a no-nonsense bwana through the jungles of writing and publishing; those of us still struggling to be successful at what we love appreciate it more than you can know. Now, go eat some cake to celebrate!
October 28, 2015 — 4:02 PM
Nick says:
Wow congrats on the 15 years and counting, chuck. Keep it going. I came to you about a year ago (actually four days and one year ago I joined your daily subscription) and have read your stuff religiously.
Wait!!! That might explain why I’m this way….
October 28, 2015 — 4:03 PM
Luna says:
Congrats on 15 years of blogging! I remember calling into BBSes. I had several I’d call on a daily basis, just to play L.O.R.D. multiple times in one day. (http://lord.lordlegacy.com/)
October 28, 2015 — 4:13 PM
Lisa says:
I’ve been here a week. Today I actually snorted over your imagining Vlog, idiot cousin of Vlad. I wish I had found you in the days of dial-up. I’m sad about the many witty posts I’ve missed over the years.
October 28, 2015 — 4:28 PM
iriel says:
Congrats! Invite me to the quinceañera party, please! It’s an important rite of passage… I suggest a black velvet gown (like mine) for your blog (?)
October 28, 2015 — 4:28 PM
amydrees says:
Congratulations! May you sysop forever more.
October 28, 2015 — 4:30 PM
missuskelain says:
I found this blog through your books, but it stands on its own!
October 28, 2015 — 4:32 PM
Wendy says:
Happy Blogrthday, Terribleminds! Here’s to another 15 years. Cheers.
October 28, 2015 — 4:33 PM
jbwiseauthor says:
This prize pack would probably be the most amazing thing in the known universe. Happy Blogrthday! You hardly look older than ten, you beautiful beast of a blog!!
October 28, 2015 — 4:50 PM
Lee says:
We’re happy to have you, Chuck. 🙂
October 28, 2015 — 5:27 PM
John Gardner says:
*shoots fireworks into air, loses fingers, but that’s ok because they were someone else’s*
Glad to be one of your subscribers. Keep up the good work.
October 28, 2015 — 5:36 PM
readingcaliforniagarden says:
MYSTERIOUS GIFTNESS from Terrible Minds? Gotta go for it. As I go for it each time the post-of-the-day lands in my mail box. Congratulations. Bask in you accomplishment. Long may you wave. Or whatever.
October 28, 2015 — 5:48 PM
Darren says:
So it only took me 15 years to find this?
Happy Blogirthdanniersary!
October 28, 2015 — 6:30 PM
ShEEKy (@SheckyX) says:
SPOOOOOOON!
October 28, 2015 — 6:32 PM
Danzier says:
Happy Blogithday!
October 28, 2015 — 6:33 PM