So, here’s a thing that happened:
This blog turned 15 years old this month. On October 19th, actually.
Blink, blink.
Holy crap, this blog is old. It’s a surly teenager now. It’s slamming doors and stealing my whiskey. It just ran up the stairs and yelled down at me, YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD.
Oh, but I am, blog. I am.
If you’ll take a momentary trip with me in the Wayback Machine, you will discover that once upon a time, when Cavepeople rode to work on Pteranodons, I ran a BBS — a bulletin board system. (I had various names for said BBS: BizarroWorld, ShadowLands, UnReality.) It was like the Internet before there was an Internet, except my fucking shitty 486 computer ran it and you had to use a screamy dial-up modem to connect to my house. And there online I offered networked forums and games and warez and ASCII art and all those Cool Jamz, and I had a little writing group called WAR (Writers Against Reality, a weaksauce title but shut up, I was a teenager). I’m not even sure my parents knew I ran the thing? And one time, Bruce Campbell dialed in? Whatever.
When it came time to establish an online presence post-college and in the dawning era of the Intertubes, I decided that I needed a BLOG — which as I have noted before is like, the worst name for anything ever. Blog sounds like the onomatopoeia of my dog horking up a wad of ill-eaten grass. (Actually, vlog may be worse than blog, because vlog sounds like Dracula’s idiot relative. “Hi, I’m Vlad the Impaler, and this is my little cousin, Vlog the Inn Tailor.”) My initial plan when it came time to plan out this blog was that I wanted to have it serve as an online writer’s community, much as I did back when I was a SysOp running a BBS. Thus the name terribleminds — it was meant to evoke that feeling of, blah blah blah, a bunch of gloriously terrible creative minds getting together and shooting the shit about wordsmithy.
Except, that sounded like a lot of work and I also didn’t like people at that time so instead I said, “Fuck that shit, George,” and then I decided instead to just do a blog about me, me, me.
OH GLORIOUS NARCISSISM
As such, my programmer roommate at the time did a static HTML page — she did a cracking good job and set me up with rudimentary HTML skillz and an FTP client and I did all my updating the old fashioned way — by yelling code into a donkey who carried the blog up a mountain to the Internet.
And it was fine and nice and it was me yelling at me about me. Often about writing, sometimes about other rantylicious topics. But it had no metrics. It had no comments.
I had no idea who was listening.
Around 2009, Will Hindmarch suggested I be a big boy and actually get a WordPress installation, and I nodded and smiled and pretended I knew what he was talking about. Thankfully, he coached me through it, and next thing the world knew, I had metrics, and comments, and sweet hot hell people were actually reading this blog. It was like opening the curtain to your front windows and finding a bunch of people staring in through the glass.
The blog numbers have gone up considerably over the last several years, too.
2009: 35,000 views.
2010: 435,000 views.
2011: 1.5 million.
2012: 2.7 million.
2013: 3.2 million.
2014: 3.6 million.
And this year we’re on target to match 2014, with the added bonus of having daily subscribers — over 8,000 people who get these blog posts in their mailboxes, daily.
All the while, I’ve done it without soliciting money or posting advertising or any of that. I fuel the existence of the blog with the money I (ideally) make with my writing.
(Oh, I’m told blogs are dead now. But terribleminds will keep on, zombie-like. /braaaaains)
It’s been an amazing journey, and while I still hew roughly to the same style of blogging I did way back when (yelling at myself about myself), the original and seemingly forgotten goal of terribleminds actually circled back around and became a true thing: this really is, I feel, a community of and for writers. It exists because of all of you, so thanks for being here and being awesome. It’s mind-boggling that so many of you care to listen to the froth-mouthed gabbling of a freakshow like myself, but I really, really appreciate it.
AS SUCH, it is time to do a giveaway.
I initially though I’d give away my books, but meh, who wants that?
Then I thought, maybe I’ll give something bookish — a Kindle or what-not.
Even then, I feel like that runs counter to the spirit of the weirdness that is this blog.
So! Instead, I’m going to giveaway something TOTALLY RANDOM. Unexpected. A bizarre-o care package sent to one lucky commenter. Here’s all you gotta do:
Go leave a comment beneath this post.
Oh, and be from the U.S. — I know, that sucks, but international shipping is a terrible thing.
Then, on Thursday, I’ll pick one of you randos to receive MYSTERIOUS GIFTNESS.
*poof*
EDIT: We Have A Winner
The winner of the birthday fun is:
JEN.
Someone named Jen, no last name!
Jen, who wrote the comment, “Happy happy!”
Jen, I’ve got an email address for you, so I’ll try it, but if the one you signed in with is incorrect, ping me at terribleminds at gmail dot com so I can get a mailing address from you.
MYSTERY PACKAGE INCOMING.
Andi says:
Awwww congratulations!!
October 28, 2015 — 7:53 AM
Dewayne says:
Congratulations Chuck!
October 28, 2015 — 7:56 AM
Anton says:
Holy – you’re old, mate.
October 28, 2015 — 7:56 AM
Julie Holmes, author says:
Congrats, Chuck!
October 28, 2015 — 7:58 AM
rissatoo says:
Happy Blogrthday! So glad you’re still yelling. 😉
October 28, 2015 — 7:59 AM
SusanCutter says:
Massive congratulations! Speaking of metrics, do you have any idea how many millions of Words of Wisdom you have shared with us over the years? (Go ahead, you can include all the non-wisdom, to, to pad the count,)
Oh, and naturally I assume I won’t be the winner (pessimists never get disappointed) but I hope you will tell all us non-winners what the mysterious prize was so we can send waved of envy at the lucky guy.
October 28, 2015 — 8:01 AM
terribleminds says:
Well, that’s an interesting question.
I tend to write ~4,000 words a week here.
So, in one year, I write around 200,000 words at the blog.
I don’t know how steady that’s been — the first several years I did not post every day.
But I have been since 2009, so in six years, I’ve written ~ 1.2 million words.
— c.
October 28, 2015 — 8:06 AM
Kristen says:
Your blog is delicious. And repellent. But mostly delicious. Thanks for typing, penmonkey.
October 28, 2015 — 8:02 AM
Leslie Church says:
Congratulations. I truly hope you never stop. I look forward to the happiness of of your blog in my email.
October 28, 2015 — 8:14 AM
Jackie Horsfall says:
I hate blogs, never subscribe to them — except I stumbled across yours recently, wondering what terrible minds and writing have in common. Now I’m hooked on your snarkily humorous writing style & loving the guest posts. Where have you been all my life?
October 28, 2015 — 8:14 AM
AA Payson says:
Vlog, the Muffin Maker
Happy Birthday
October 28, 2015 — 8:14 AM
Christine Frost says:
15, and now with more than 3m views?! Awesome, and thank you. This blog has helped me finish novels, start new ones, and write countless bits of short fiction.
October 28, 2015 — 8:17 AM
Peter Hentges says:
Gifty mysteriousness? Sign me up!
And thanks for your ongoing encouragement. This is my go-to place for being sworn to about how I should be writing.
October 28, 2015 — 8:18 AM
C.C. says:
Does the comment need to be awe inspiring to win? Or does there just need to be words here?
And wow. 15 years. That ain’t terrible.
October 28, 2015 — 8:20 AM
Wendy Christopher says:
Happy birth-day terribleminds..
Happy birthday terrribleminds…
Hap-py biiiirrrrth-daaay I-don’t-mind-not-getting-a-shot-at-the-prize-‘cos-I’m-in-the-U-Kaaaaaaaayyyyy…..
Haaap-pppeeeee biiiiirrrrrttthh-daaaaaaayyyyy….. terribleminds!!
**throws streamers. Presents terribleminds with a small batcake that was made in a batch for Halloween for nine-year-old son, but hey, he’s happy to share and they taste nicer and less scary than they look**
And thanks for making me feel less old as well. ;P
October 28, 2015 — 8:22 AM
Jen says:
Happy happy!
October 28, 2015 — 8:23 AM
Nancy K says:
I like staring in your windows. Congrats!
October 28, 2015 — 8:29 AM
williamallenpepper says:
For ANYTHING to survive on the Internet, it’s a miracle. But you deserve all the praise and kudos and whisky. (Well, not ALL the whisky. Let’s not be foolish) Here’s to 15 more years!
October 28, 2015 — 8:35 AM
Write Your Wrongs says:
Congrats Chuck! Thank you for yelling at you about you so that 15 yrs down the road I can yell at you about your yelling and hope one day my yelling gets on the same level as your yelling. Take care!
-@glbusenlehner
October 28, 2015 — 8:36 AM
monicabhide says:
You deserve all the praise you get and more! Terrific blog. I look forward to reading and learning more from you each day!
October 28, 2015 — 8:38 AM
Katharine Ashe says:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I love this blog. It’s my happy place. Thank you for creating this community and saying all the good things. I am grateful for you and your work!
p.s. Also, WAY TO GO, Marvel Comics writer!!!! Congratulations!!! Best. News. Ever.
October 28, 2015 — 8:38 AM
Jason P. says:
Congrats Chuck! Your blog has outlived my late cat. You’ve given this fellow PA resident hope that he too, can have words read by others.
October 28, 2015 — 8:38 AM
rightword2 says:
Happy Blogrthday! And thank you to the code donkey who carried the early ones. I raise my glass to you! Keep screaming into the void. We’ll listen.
October 28, 2015 — 8:39 AM
Lauren says:
Happy Blogrthday!!
October 28, 2015 — 8:40 AM
bethbishopwrites says:
Happy Blogrday, Terribleminds. I started visiting you about 6 years ago, when you still let your dad hug you in public and kiss you goodnight. I came to you on the advice of a friend. I asked her if I should self-publish or keep trying the traditional route, and she said, “Check out this guy’s post about it. He’s a pottymouth, but if that doesn’t bother you, he has a lot of good writing advice.” So I did and he does and I’m glad for it.
October 28, 2015 — 8:40 AM
Heather Ormsby says:
Congratulations! 15 years at anything is a long ass time. Go you.
October 28, 2015 — 8:42 AM
Jennie says:
Your pen monkey’s creed is on the wall above my desk, and I’m doing it. Writing my book. And no I won’t ask you to read it! Thanks for the coaching, Chuck.
October 28, 2015 — 8:43 AM
todddillard says:
Happy birthday to you
you live in an infinitesimally smaller-yet-more-substantive space than a shoe
you smell like a Dagobah monkey
but you kinda look like Chew… bacca…
October 28, 2015 — 8:44 AM
Aurora Dimitre (@32AurorA05) says:
Woah, that’s crazy long. Congratulations!
October 28, 2015 — 8:49 AM
kdrose1 says:
Your blog is great. I don’t have the energy for a great blog. It usually just sits there like a lump in your throat, waiting. I remember BBS. I am old as fuck too. Those were exciting days. Like discovering a whole new thing of greatness that was just being discovered by everyone. I didn’t even know how to use a frickin’ computer. But I learned. Because there were people out there in net space actually talking to one another. How freaky was that? Back in the day….
October 28, 2015 — 8:53 AM
twitchphoenix says:
Happy Birthday! And thanks for showing me how to art harder!
October 28, 2015 — 8:56 AM
Kenneth Crews says:
Congrats on 15 years Chuck!!
October 28, 2015 — 8:57 AM
Shannon Jones says:
Congratulations! 15 years is a looong time – guess you have some stick-to-it-iveness.
October 28, 2015 — 9:00 AM
Rene says:
Happy blogthday, Chuck! Thanks for making this community and letting us stare in your windows.
October 28, 2015 — 9:00 AM
SamKD says:
Congratulations! Fifteen is impressive! Thanks for being there.
October 28, 2015 — 9:01 AM
Rachel B. says:
Thanks for the amazing support for us terrible writers over the years. Couldn’t have done it without you. Now here’s a terrible birthday song I stole from Emperor’s New Groove:
Happy happy birthday
From all of us to you
We wish it was our birthday
So we could party too, hey!
*streamers, sombrero, a llama running away into the distance*
October 28, 2015 — 9:02 AM
Shane Dodd says:
w00t! Congrats on such a long and successful digital footprint!
October 28, 2015 — 9:06 AM
Barb says:
Peeking into windows is always fun and peeking into yours never disappoints. Happy Blogrthday!
October 28, 2015 — 9:06 AM
boundbeautifunk says:
Congratulations on creating something lasting and beautiful.
October 28, 2015 — 9:07 AM
Tribi (@tribid) says:
Thanks for sharing your colorful insights lo these many years.
October 28, 2015 — 9:13 AM
Casey Wyatt says:
Congratulations!! I’ve enjoyed reading your blog for a few years now. Thanks for the sage advice and the laughs. Here’s to many, many more years to come!!
October 28, 2015 — 9:13 AM
Courtney C says:
Looking forward to more antics from your adolescent blog. Happy birthday, Terribleminds!
October 28, 2015 — 9:14 AM
strugglingwriter says:
I have respect for those that have kept blogging past the time when it was “dead”. Happy 15th!
October 28, 2015 — 9:16 AM
Demonified™ (@swtlyevil) says:
I found you on accident and have been trapped here ever since. I keep trying to find the exits but every time I turn, there’s something new and exciting that I have to stop and check out. Please, keep yelling at yourself about yourself (and other things).
October 28, 2015 — 9:19 AM
Stephani Hren says:
Fifteen years? Man, that’s a lot of words. Congrats on the Bloggiversary! Hope you keep on inspiring us for another fifteen years. 🙂
October 28, 2015 — 9:19 AM
N.E. Montgomery says:
Let’s see: remembering the AOL disks, check. Had a Geocities site, check. Know what all those awful initials mean, check. Love your teenage blog despite its occasional teenage tantrums and sneaking the liquor, check….
I only found you a year ago, but you’re still the terrible mind that gets me through many a terrible day.
Thanks for being you, Chuck.
October 28, 2015 — 9:24 AM
Mimi says:
I want you to know I read and save all the emails, I haven’t erased one!
I’m a secret writer. I’m a single mom and abuse victim who never graduated highschool and never reads books only articles. I thoroughly enjoy reading your emails.
So just because people don’t comment doesn’t mean they aren’t reading and enjoying. I’m deathly afraid and paranoid of social media, pictures, I phones etc.. Its safer for abuse victims to live off the grid.
Wishing you all the best.
October 28, 2015 — 9:24 AM
writingsbyesse says:
Hi Chuck, congrats on the Blogrthday! I came for the writery bits, but I stayed for the rambles. And now I’m thinking of word zombies, like actual groups of letters attacking people.
October 28, 2015 — 9:24 AM
Chuck J says:
Congrats, Chuck!
Also, everytime I see pic of you on Twitter, I expect to see a fountain of tarantula’s spew forth from your gaping maw.
*shudders*
October 28, 2015 — 9:26 AM
terribleminds says:
SOON
October 28, 2015 — 9:31 AM
Shay says:
Hey there!
Happy Blogrthday, TerribleMinds and Congratulations, Chuck!
I’ve only recently stumbled in on you yelling at you about you, but I appreciate all of your time, effort and wisdom placed forth to each of us weirdos. I saw this more as you yelling at us to be better, so there’s that. But, I appreciate every word. (;
Your blog is a motivational, push-you-through-the-darkness-of-writing, sort of ordeal and I’m glad to be included. Keep on typing and congrats on over 1.2 million words on this blog. How exciting is that?
Question: How do you plan on celebrating for you?
(I see the celebration with us, but you deserve to celebrate too!)
Have a great day!
P.s.
Thank you, thank you – for all that you do!
(Love the picture for the post, by the way.)
October 28, 2015 — 9:27 AM
Sara Crocoll Smith says:
Very cool! As someone just cutting their teeth on a blog, seeing those numbers over the years is inspiring. Writing and blogging, definitely the long game. Thanks, Chuck, for the blog posts of inspiration and a kick in the pants.
October 28, 2015 — 9:27 AM