The opening sentence to a story (be it a short story all the way up to a novel) matters. It’s the first bullet fired in a war — you don’t have to kill the enemy leader with it, but you also oughta make it count. It’s the line that hooks the reader. The line that sets everything up. It’s the first thing the reader sees upon stepping into the world you’ve created.
So, it’s worth getting it right.
Let’s workshop your opening line.
Take the opening line to something you’re writing / have written and, if comfortable, share it below in the comments. Then, others will have at it — offering what will ideally be constructive criticism (why they like it, where they think it needs improvement). If you post a line, you should also offer commentary on someone else’s opening line, because Quid pro quo, Clarice.
(Now, this is an imperfect criticism because the opening line of course never actually stands alone; it exists in context with the rest of the opening page. Just the same, this should make an interesting challenge, don’t you think?)
Go forth and workshop, young wordy padawans.
Indigo Denovan says:
“Isss there something the matter?~” A cold voice snapped Blackwood from his raging thoughts. The effort to restrain his anger felt akin to putting a bridle on a thrashing and flaming dragon. As he looked up from the papers held tight in his gloved hand, he fought to keep his voice calm.
I was wondering if I should keep or toss the “Isss” because the first man is hissing like a snake when he talks. Same with the “~” as a symbol I use to indicate a lilting voice. I wasn’t sure whether to keep those two effects but let me know what you think! This is the beginning of my first novel, third person past, and is a dark fantasy.
(Yes I apologize for including four sentences instead of one there but some context was needed and this is the first paragraph.)
May 2, 2015 — 12:13 AM