For this week, at least, I’m taking off — I just posted the holiday confectionary share-around post, so you should feel free to jump on into those yummy waters. But otherwise, for this week, terribleminds is gonna go and get good and sick on egg nog and rib roast and pass out under the Christmas tree, nude but for a draping of tinsel and strategically-placed blinky lights. And by “terribleminds,” I mean me. Because terribleminds is not a person. I don’t even know why I said that. This blog hasn’t become animated. It isn’t alive. Not yet. Not until I can properly summon the lightning demons.
Anyway.
(Yes, I’ll still be dealing with the Nerdtivity votes this week, no worries.)
Go forth, and Happy Whatever-The-Hell-You-Celebrate. Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, Solstice, an Agnostic Shrug-Fest, some kind of Godless Atheist Orgy. (I really need to get an invite to the Godless Atheist Orgy next year. Uh-huh, sure, sure, my “invitation keeps getting lost in the mail.” Sure, yeah, fine, I’ll renounce all gods, okay? Yes, yes, even Artemis.)
I occasionally get folks who email me and say, I want to get you something for the holidays, which is of course super-sweet unless it’s a mail-bomb of Hep-C, but I guess even then it’s the thought that counts? And seriously, it’s very nice the folks who say that, and to them I say only that: if you want to get me something, then maybe buy one of my books. Or leave a review! We authors love reviews. The very existence of this site is because of you kind people doing both of those things, and so, either of those would make me holly jolly as all-get-out.
I mean, either that, or buy me a jetboat.
Book, review, jetboat. In that order. Except put the jetboat first. Because I need something to drive to the Godless Atheist Orgy next year, and I’m pretty sure a jetboat is a way to arrive in style.
Thanks for reading the blog. Thanks for checking out my books.
I’ll see you next week to close out the year with various thoughts that will allow us to throw 2014 on the funeral pyre and watch the firebird of 2015 rise from its charred carcass-ash.
Merry Whatever, Good People of the Internet!
*throws an elf up in the air*
Pull!
*detonates elf with shotgun blast*
Mozette says:
Oohh… look at all that blood splatter… nice!
What a design it makes on the grass over there… and the snow patches too… pity not all of him didn’t explode – oh well…. we’ll find the rest of him later.
Merry Christ-… um whatever to you too…. and have a great Orgy of Greed Day* too. 😀
*Christmas Day
December 22, 2014 — 12:11 AM
Rio says:
You might even call it a…PROSPERO ANO! Ah, I crack myself up sometimes.
December 22, 2014 — 9:39 PM
Deborah Smith says:
Thank you for many wise and profane guiding thoughts, Sir; Merry Holidays, Happy New Year, and may this Horriblus Anus of a year leave its slime trail in a spot where the sun burns off the stink as soon as possible.
December 22, 2014 — 12:17 AM
duckykoren says:
Thank you for your festive wishes. My best holiday wishes to you & yours as well. As for the elf, please remember:
ONE elf…
ONE elf only please…
*ping*
December 22, 2014 — 12:22 AM
DeAnna says:
It’s alive! It’s alive! MWHAHAHAHA! Wait… no. Blog isn’t alive. Good to know. Have a GREAT holiday and enjoy the time away. We’ll be here when you get back… or … when the blog gets back because perhaps you’ve evolved into something new? Blog + Man = Blan? Maog? *giggle snort*
December 22, 2014 — 12:26 AM
warjna says:
You are a sick bunny, Mr. Chuck Wendig, and I love every deviant word! Hope you and your toddler and the rest of your tribe have a Wonderful Whatever!
December 22, 2014 — 12:57 AM
Sharon Greene says:
Thank you for shooting that elf. I’m assuming he was one of those annoying ones who live on a shelf and not one of Santa’s helpers. PS My invitation to the Godless Atheist Orgy hasn’t arrived yet either.
December 22, 2014 — 1:40 AM
Paul Anthony Shortt says:
Merry Christmas, Chuck!
December 22, 2014 — 1:59 AM
Craig Forsyth says:
Have a fantastic break Chuck.
December 22, 2014 — 4:26 AM
Toni Kenyon says:
Enjoy your time away. Thanks for invading my inbox all year. 🙂
December 22, 2014 — 5:16 AM
Toni Kenyon says:
PS Love, love, love, love, love the dog picture.
December 22, 2014 — 5:17 AM
Doc Coleman says:
Io, Saturnalia! Enjoy your winter festival of choice. And don’t worry, the old ones aren’t coming for *you*.
Doc
December 22, 2014 — 6:30 AM
terribleminds says:
BUT I INVITED THE OLD ONES TO DINNER.
They never show up. Jerks.
December 22, 2014 — 9:02 AM
Ali Trotta says:
Your blogs are delightful, Chuck. I hope you and yours have a brilliant holiday — and if you’re going to shoot an elf, please shoot the cartoon version of Buddy the Elf. Because holy fucking HELL, what IS that? hehe
December 22, 2014 — 9:03 AM
terribleminds says:
Backatcha, Ali!
December 22, 2014 — 9:21 AM
Murray Sheckmas (@SheckyX) says:
The final action of this blog post is approved by all dwarves everywhere.
December 22, 2014 — 9:16 AM
Casondra Brewster says:
A Wonderful Winter Whatever to you and yours. Headed out today to buy last-minute reading goodness. I’m sure there will be a Herr Wendig title in the mix. 😉
Peace Out.
See you in 2015.
December 22, 2014 — 10:16 AM
M T McGuire says:
Have been loving your blog this year so have a fine and dandy Chritmas and may the turkey of happiness lay it’s golden eggs on your… your… on you.
Cheers
MTM
December 22, 2014 — 11:46 AM
anonymous says:
> But otherwise, for this week, terribleminds is gonna go and get good and sick on egg nog and rib roast and pass out under the Christmas tree, nude but for a draping of tinsel and strategically-placed blinky lights.
Have to pander to that fanbase, eh? That’s probably why the invite gets “lost in the mail” you’re already providing for an audience. :p
*ahem* Why an elf? You want a good old “fireworks of blood” get a large catapult and a reindeer. Of course, make sure there is no toddler/kids around otherwise “CHRISTMAS IS DEAD. I KILLED IT WITH *THIS*!!!” *shotgun cock sound* *crying kids*
December 22, 2014 — 12:38 PM
theotaylorr says:
Always appreciate the fantastical thoughts of Wendig and terribleminds. Merci beaucoup, mon ami.
December 22, 2014 — 12:41 PM
Kyra Dune says:
Merry Whatever to you too, Chuck. I love your blog (but in a totally ‘I just want to be friends’ kind of way, because, you know, otherwise it would be weird.)
December 22, 2014 — 2:08 PM
Carolina Mac says:
Merry Christmas, Chuck. I still say that and nobody can make me stop. Love your dog. Love you.
December 22, 2014 — 6:18 PM
Melinda Davis says:
We’ll be thinking of you while drinking our lightly eggnog tinted rum. Have a happy holliday!
December 22, 2014 — 8:57 PM
percykerry923 says:
Happy Holidays, Chuck. Have fun these hols till you drop of sheer exhaustion. But, but, but. As an avid reader of your blog, I would hex-pekttt a HILARIOUS account of your vacation celebrations :). Adios, lots of love 🙂
December 23, 2014 — 8:36 AM
Ashlynn says:
Can’t wait to see Terrible Minds back — or you –whichever. Have a Merry Christmas!
December 23, 2014 — 8:37 AM
Mark. says:
Some celebrate Criss-Angel-of-Ancient-Rome-Mas. Charles Manson lost worship (XMAS) when he turned his X into a pipefitters symbol for airflow.
No?
Whatever.
Happy Holiday and checkin off another one in the Anno Domini; MMXV, or as hipsters who destroy language even gun down some ancient numerology- M2XV.
December 25, 2014 — 1:24 PM