This is an actual conversation I had with the toddler the other day as we stood at the bottom of our driveway in his ride-on pick-up truck. He got out of his truck, went to the side of the driveway and into the woods, then decided he was going to pee in the weeds.
B-Dub: I’m peeing.
Me: I see that.
B-Dub: *walks back with his pants not entirely pulled up*
Me: You forgot something.
B-Dub: *sees what he forgot* Oh ha ha ha.
Me: You need to put Mister Winky back in his house.
B-Dub: I need to put Mister Winky in my butt!
Me: That’s not how that works. Besides, your butt is in the back, your winky is in the front.
B-Dub: Mister Winky and the Butt are neighbors.
Me: Y… yes.
B-Dub: Does Mister Winky have a dog?
Me: Uh. What?
B-Dub: Mister Winky has a dog! And he keeps it in my butt. A BUTT DOG.
B-Dub: *cracks up for like, five minutes straight*
B-Dub: *laughing dies down*
B-Dub: …butt dog.
And, scene.
* * *
Your turn. If you have kids or have ever met one of these tiny little randos, feel free to share with us something completely hilarious / cuckoo bananapants / disturbing that this children has said, or some conversation you’ve had with them. I think every parent has these, so, y’know. SHARE.
Kari Wolfe says:
My daughter the other day: “Can you help me? I got problems.”
June 30, 2014 — 12:06 AM
Stefan says:
Used to babysit my cousin (she was about 3 or 4 at the time).
One morning she came up to me with a butter knife, saying, “Can I cut you open?”
I, moving away slowly, say, “Hm, nope.”
She came closer, and with her puppy-dog-eyes wide open, she said, “I’ll only do a little.”
June 30, 2014 — 12:08 AM
A Writer With Something To Say says:
That is too funny. When my nephew was a baby, he tried to make ramen noodles in the microwave. My mom always told him to put it on 8 minutes with water. One day I was at work, but he went to make the noodles and put it on 80 minutes without water! My mom caught him in time. Then she said, ” Why didn’t you put water in it?” He said, ” Because I wanted fried noodles.” She couldn’t do anything but laugh, even though he could have burned the house down.
June 30, 2014 — 12:09 AM
Jenni Cornell says:
A long time ago, my sister’s daughter named her hand “Dahmer” (after Jeffrey Dahmer had been eating people). She was not aware of the story, but when her mom asked who did something, she would say that “Dahmer did it”. I’m happy to report that many years later she seems normal enough. Her other hand was Haescher Maescher. Strange. I feel a story coming on….
June 30, 2014 — 12:13 AM
Amelia Baynton says:
*6 and 4 year old sisters running around in tutus*
Me: What are you guys playing?
Little sister: We’re playing ‘chink’ *gestures with wand* and you’re going to be a frog then a horse then a dead girl.
Me: …
Little sister: Then we’re going to play ‘doctors’. *Whispers in my face* Your medicine is going to be poison.
June 30, 2014 — 12:14 AM
terribleminds says:
I snorted at that one. Hahaha, ohhh CHILDREN.
June 30, 2014 — 6:14 AM
leeanna says:
Roflmsao!
June 30, 2014 — 7:16 PM
Krissa says:
When my nephew was about 4, he was setting the table. At one spot he set down a huge serving fork, looked me dead in the eye, and said, “You get the big fork, because you’re the fattest.”
June 30, 2014 — 12:16 AM
erlindashen says:
LOL
June 30, 2014 — 12:17 AM
veemedina says:
hahaha oh kids
June 30, 2014 — 2:27 AM
erlindashen says:
My four year old asked me, “Mommy, what are you on?” Everyone on Facebook would also like to know….
June 30, 2014 — 12:16 AM
Jenni Cornell says:
My son, after his father pretended to be “dead” while they were wrestling, jumped on his father and said, “Yay! He’s dead! Let’s play on him!”
June 30, 2014 — 12:17 AM
Leah Mueller says:
My son Nolan was rather jaded and overly realistic by the time he reached toddlerhood. I was a single mom then, living in Washington state, and had to take the ferry home from Seattle to Port Orchard almost every day. It was stressful–I was always exhausted, and the ferry was often late. One evening, as we sat in our car in the ferry line, the schedule was completely fucked up. Although our ferry was running way behind schedule, another boat was parked in its slip at the dock for the night, bobbing peacefully in the waves. “Why can’t we just take that boat?!” Nolan demanded loudly, pointing in its direction. I ignored him. He asked again, even more petulantly. Exasperated, devoid of an intelligent answer, I blurted out, “It’s sleeping, Nolan.” My son stared at me as if I had gone completely insane. I had forgotten that it was impossible to talk to him as though he was a normal toddler, he was too literal-minded for that. “They don’t have eyes” he said with disgust. It was difficult for me to argue with the logic of this, and we both fell silent.
June 30, 2014 — 12:22 AM
Nina says:
One time my two little cousins accused a lady of being a horse trainer at an amusement park. The lady had accidentally bumped into one of my cousins.
Then she said, “Pardon me.”
My cousin turned to the other and said, “She must train horses because her hair is long. Like a horse.”
The other cousin says, “And she said pardon me.”
The lady says, “I wish I did train horses.”
Then my cousin ends it all with, “No, you need a real job.”
June 30, 2014 — 12:36 AM
Courtney Cantrell says:
Well, I for sure can’t top Mr. Winky and the Butt Dog. ; ) My toddler isn’t quite 2 and speaks mostly gibberish with the occasional one-syllable word thrown in. However, we recently shared this exchange:
Me: What does the cat say?
Toddler: Mew!
Me: What does the dog say?
Toddler: Woof!
Me: What does the sheep say?
Toddler: D’Artagnan!
???
June 30, 2014 — 12:57 AM
Natalie Maddalena says:
My two kids recently worked out that if our new puppy had a million dollars, he would spend it on servants to lie on the floor so he could lick their faces as much as he wanted. And dirty underwear and shoes to eat.
June 30, 2014 — 1:05 AM
GKByrne says:
Once my daughter told me, “Mama, I’m older than the dark.” But then to negate the creepy vibe, the same kid the next day was assigning potential Halloween costumes. “Daddy will be a pirate. Mama will be a bee. I’ll be a Princess. And Grandma, you’ll be…youll be a honky.” We think she meant goose, but it took a long time to find enough breath to say so.
June 30, 2014 — 1:55 AM
Day says:
My friend’s 7 year-old nephew, apropos of nothing as he exits the bathroom: Nana, I *don’t* have a penis.
June 30, 2014 — 2:17 AM
shelton keys dunning says:
There’s been a death in the family and we’ve been waking for a solid week. The night after the service, we gather at the dinner table and it’s piled high with huge bowls full of food. My little cousin, using his really big ‘I’ll never ask for anything else ever again’ eyes begs to say grace. I mean begs, as if everyone’s life and soul and the fate of the world hinged upon his saying grace that very meal. Looks are exchanged at the table, but his dad says “All right son, your turn.”
Cousin: Dear Jesus…thank you…for…the…butter…and…the butter…and the butter… and the…butter…
Dad: *elbows son*
Cousin: and a walk through Death Valley. Amen! Pass the potatoes?
***
Should be said, I guess, that from my little cousin’s vantage, he could only see the butter for sure and the sides of bowls. But I have no clue why he twisted the psalm 23. I’m pretty sure it was never recited at the service…
June 30, 2014 — 4:23 AM
Ciara says:
I was babysitting my five year old cousin Chris once when he came into the room holding a bottle of pills.
Chris: You know how these bottles are supposed to be kid proof?
Me: Yeah?
Chris: Well, it’s really stupid, ’cause you’ve only got to push down and twist, see? *proceeds to open bottle of vitamins I struggled to open that morning*
Me: …
June 30, 2014 — 6:18 AM
marylholden says:
1991. New PC delivered to our home. First born, 4-year-old son took to it like a duck to water. His little sister (10 months old) was found a few weeks later with blue ink on her forehead. Brother had used a ball point pen to write the word “Delete.”
June 30, 2014 — 6:39 AM
Sam says:
Oh god, that ‘your medicine is going to be poison’ one had me in tears. And like a terrible parent, I now can’t remember anything my kids have said. The only one I can remember is my 3 year old having a massive overtired meltdown before dinner one day – we were having meatballs and he asked to have tomato sauce with them (he loves to dunk) but then when he got to the table he started sobbing.
ME: what’s wrong, buddy?
KID: (between heartbroken sobs): there’s only ONE thing that goes with tomato sauce and that’s CHIPS. Only one thing! No other things go with tomato sauce! Chips are for dunking! They’re the ONLY THING YOU CAN DUNK! (etc etc etc, variations of this with slightly different emphasis each time. only one THING goes with sauce. ONLY one thing goes with SAUCE. sauce only GOES with one thing. Thing with sauce, chips, is the only one. For about 5 hysterical minutes until he pauses long enough for me to get something in)
ME: What if you dunked your meatballs in the sauce?
KID: (pauses, hiccups a few times. Stares at meatballs) Oh…? That’s so crazy it might just work. (Eats happily).
June 30, 2014 — 7:37 AM
boydstun215 says:
OMG….laughed so hard. As they say, kids say the darnedest things.
June 30, 2014 — 7:41 AM
S.E Dee (@bluebicblog) says:
Daughter: Can we go funfair?
Me (who has no money): Err…no. The lights aren’t on, it’s not working.
Daughter: Does it need batteries?
This makes her sound normal, I know, but she’s not. She really isn’t – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUexHBZhByE
June 30, 2014 — 8:16 AM
Sparrow says:
My four year old son is extremely sensitive to tactile sensations. I mean, we’re talking about a kid who will throw a full on tantrum if a tag on his shirt is rubbing him the wrong way. He’s old enough to put himself in his car seat now, but everytime he sits in it his pants get pulled down a little bit. Every time we get in the car he screams “I’VE GOT BUTT PROBLEMS! MOOOMMMYYY! BUUUUTTTT PROOOOBBBLLEEEMMSSSS!”
Which is the most fun ever when you’re in a crowded parking lot.
He also does a “naked in the kitchen dance.” We’ve got that one on video for future blackmail.
June 30, 2014 — 8:32 AM
Dana (@Day_Mero) says:
So many moments …
(Katy Perry birthday song on radio)
Twin b- “why would anyone want to wear a birthday suit? I don’t even want to wear pants on my birthday!…I might like those big balloons though…”
Twin a-“mom if we were swimming and I saw a shark coming to bite you I would PUNCH that shark in the head and it would fly to the moon and when it came down we would be friends and we would RIDE that shark to the beach…and this is my favourite, best chicken EVER” -said in one breath, won’t ever eat the chicken again cause it’s “gross”
June 30, 2014 — 8:33 AM
Susan Jett says:
Well, this morning, my 3-year-old said very seriously, “Mommy, I love you. So I hope you don’t die for QUITE a while.”
(Um, thanks? I think I miss the ‘I hope you NEVER die’ days…)
June 30, 2014 — 8:44 AM
bassplyr5150 says:
My son has cerebral palsy and hydrocephalus, but has a rudimentary vocabulary. I would go in to get him ready for school and some mornings would go like this:
Me: Chad, do you want to go to school?
Chad: No.
Me: Do you want to ride the bus?
Chad (Loudly) YEAH!
Me: you can do that. You realize the bus is going to take you to school, right?
Chad (quietly with a heavy sigh) yeah…
June 30, 2014 — 9:12 AM
lapetiteeditrix says:
Longish story short, after my then-four year old was caught saying “asshole” at daycare, we made a rule that he could only swear around me (his mother who could make a sailor blush). Fast forward two years, and the conversation goes like this:
J: Mommy, mommy, mommy! Can I swear now?
Me: Sure, have at it, kid.
J: Shit! Asshole! Middle Finger (accompanied by waving his middle fingers in the air)! FUCK MY LITTLE ASS!
Me: ….Do you remember what “fuck” means?
J: Yes.
Me: So what did you just say?
J: :eyes get as big as dinner plates:
Me: Exactly. Don’t say that unless you mean it or can beat people up.
J: :nods furiously:
June 30, 2014 — 9:41 AM
Marc Cabot says:
Totally inappropriate flashback to totally inappropriate Eddie Murphy routine about what would happen if Mr. T. was gay.
“Mmm. Mmm. You’re lookin’ mighty fine in them jeans, boy.”
If you know it… it’s playing in your head now too AND I’M NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT SORRY.
(Please note that the routine does not involve pedophilia. It’s what Mr. T. says to the guy in the tight jeans that minded me of it.)
June 30, 2014 — 11:51 AM
Mikey Campling says:
As a young teacher, long ago, I was asked to cover a class of 4 and 5 year olds for a morning. I paled when I heard that the set task was to discuss the idea of god. I did my best, and then (as instructed by their regular teacher) I asked the kids to draw a picture, showing what they thought about god.
One boy had drawn a stick figure, holding out his hand, which contained a brown blob. Thinking it may be a symbolic work, with maybe the world in god’s palm, I had a chat.
Me: Tell me about your picture.
Boy: It’s you!
Me: Oh. Well that’s…very interesting. And what’s that in my hand?
Boy: (looking at me as if I’m stupid) You’re holding an onion.
I have often wondered where my lesson went wrong, but I cling to the hope that somewhere, there’s a grown man who, to this day, persists in the belief that I am god.
Now, where did I put my onion?
June 30, 2014 — 10:00 AM
Stephanie says:
Daughter was about 3. My husband and I took her to McD’s for fries and behind the parking lot is an old oil drill. We get up to the speaker of drive through when my daughter sat forward in her car seat, grabbed my seat to pull herself almost out of the car seat and said thusly, “What the HELL is that?”
I crack up. The lady who had turned the speaker on, didn’t bother to turn it off, she was giggling.
My husband smiled yet cut me a look because not a few days before this I was working on something in 3D Max (yes, late 90’s) when the comp froze in mid-render and I said, “Well son of a bitch.”
My husband was on the couch, my daughter in the floor coloring. She didn’t even look up and said, “Well son of a bitch, mom.”
They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. And my daughter flattered me ALL THE TIME.
In my defense, I was a bit more mindful of the cussing and those were the only times she repeated me.
Of course, the next thing for her to floor me with was when she was 5 and asked when she was going to get boobs like mine.
*chuckle, snort, siggghhh* She turned 17 yesterday.
Good times, good times.
June 30, 2014 — 10:03 AM
crossedstars says:
When my kids were little we were living with my parents in rural Oklahoma. In my home town, there are two huge grain elevators — the biggest things for miles. Somewhere along the way, my sons (3 and 4) got the idea that these things were called “futures.” So every time we passed them, my oldest would say to his brother, “Look Will! It’s our Futures!” And then I’d cringe inwardly and die a little every time.
June 30, 2014 — 10:06 AM
changterhune says:
Nothing like the BUTTDOG. :LOL
June 30, 2014 — 10:07 AM
Jessica Whiting says:
Background story, I am expecting my first baby in a few weeks and my 2 1/2 yo nephew is extremely excited to meet him. His mom sent a video of him talking about the baby. I can’t remember the exact words said, but the gist was that he wanted to help take baby out of my tummy, but first he needed to get the key from Uncle Ed (my hubby) to get the baby out and then he wanted to get inside. I died laughing….
June 30, 2014 — 10:14 AM
M Frank says:
My daughter, about six at the time, at the dinner table:
Does ziti come from Zitiopia?
June 30, 2014 — 10:22 AM
Becca Patterson says:
My niece walked up to me one time and starts the conversation with: “Do you remember when I was a boy?”
I have no idea what she wanted to tell me about being a boy because I was laughing too hard.
June 30, 2014 — 10:24 AM
sonyaleigh85 says:
Last night my three year old girl started crying so I asked her what was wrong
3yr old: “He sat on my penis!” she screams, pointing at her older brother.
Me: “Your what???”
3yr old: “My penis”
At this point my eleven year old is cracking up and I’m trying not to.
Me: “Honey you’re a little girl, you don’t have a penis. Show me where he hurt you.”
She holds up her finger, of course, that makes sense kind of…maybe not.
June 30, 2014 — 10:30 AM
njmagas says:
I’m not a parent, but I am an eldest sibling, and a teacher of small children. I’ve got a few stories:
Dad: Go call your brother in from the woods.
Me: Fine. *finds brother* Hey Trev–
Trev: *looks at me with huge emotionless eyes and says with complete seriousness* Last year we planted God Trees and Devil trees. This is the hand of a God Tree *shows me a stick*
Me: … I am so not qualified for this.
—
Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Student: A soccer ball!
—
Me: What’s this? *shows an ostrich picture*
Student: Chicken nuggets.
—
Me: Tell me one thing you can’t do.
Student: I can’t murder.
Me: … I am so not qualified for this.
—
(Note, I teach English in Japan)
Student: Hey, you come from an English country right?
Me: Mmhmm.
Student: So that’s why your hair is light.
Me: Well, I mean, that’s not a causation thing, but you’re four, so yeah, that’s why.
Student: And your eyes are blue.
Me: Sure.
Student: And your boobs are so big.
Me: Can we have one conversation in the class that doesn’t end with an observation about my boobs?
—
Student: *Has a sudden epiphany* I am a white tiger o.o
Me: … Moving on.
—
*cartoon has a ‘boing’ sound in intro*
Student: That’s the sound of your boobs, teacher!
Me: … Goddamn it.
June 30, 2014 — 10:53 AM
KVeldman says:
A few years ago I was taking my kid brother, four years old at the time, out for lunch:
4yo: I want McDonalds!
Me: You sure?
4yo: MCDONALDS!
Me: Okay, what are you going to get?
4yo: Eggs.
Me: Anything to drink?
4yo: EGGS AND BEER!!!!
Me: …
4yo: EGGS AND BEER! EGGS AND BEER! EGGS AND BEER!
(this went on until I got him a happy meal and told him it was eggs and beer)
June 30, 2014 — 11:05 AM
Marc Cabot says:
We used to have a friend who thought it was funny to teach her little girl to refer to her apple juice as “Budweiser.”
You already see where this is going.
Yep. You were right. Fully blown tantrum-fit in grocery store one day, with hysterical four-year old demanding BUDWEISER I WANT BUDWEISER RIGHT NOW I’M THIRSTY BUY ME A BOTTLE OF BUDWEISER!
June 30, 2014 — 11:55 AM
chukg says:
My 3 year old used to ride the commuter train with me and sometimes got hot chocolate or a pastry from the “Cappuccino Car”. So one day when we weren’t going to she was yelling “I WANT MY CAPPUCCINO! CAPPUCCINO I TELL YOU!”
June 30, 2014 — 2:06 PM
Patricia Salamone says:
My three year old daughter sitting at the dinner table on Christmas day, about 25 people also sitting at the dinner table. I look at her, she has an index finger shoved up each nostril. I say, “Melissa stop that!” Everyone looks at her, some one says “what are you doing?” The answer, “I am digging for gold.” Hysterical laughing from every one.
June 30, 2014 — 11:08 AM
familyfieldguide says:
Love this! And how many times had she been caught picking her nose when someone said, “Melissa! What are you doing? Digging for gold?”
June 30, 2014 — 3:25 PM
Shay says:
God there are so many stories…..
My son was 4. I had 5 friends over for coffee in my small 2 bedroom apartment, when I put my son into the tub for his bath before bed. I left the door open a crack so he could let me know when he wanted to get out and get dried off. He was only in the tub about 10 minutes when I hear this voice float down the hallway.
“Mom. Mom! I’m growing another penis!”
As a good parent, and to the giggles of my friends, I wandered down to the bthroom to investigate this “new” penis issue.
I walked into the bathroom to see my son standing in the tub holding his testes.
“See Mom…Its a new penis”. It was difficult to hold it together but I did, and just smiled at him .
“No huney, those are your balls. They are supposed to be there. Its part of what makes boys different from girls.” Satisfied I had explained the situation I proceeded back down the hallway to the livingroom. I only made it half way, when his voice rang out again.
“Mom, Mom! There’s something in it!”.
I’m hearing the giggling from my friends growing into snorting suppressed laughter. Afterall it was a very small two bedroom apartment and they could hear the entire conversation thus far.
“Huney. It’s testicles guts, its normal its supposed to be there.”
“but Mom….” he started again
At a loss of patience I retorted sharply
“S______, Its your balls. Its normal. Now sit down quit fondling yourself and finish your bath.”
The laughter in the living rooms turn to howls as I rounded the corner with a long suffering single parent expression on my face.
Added to this I was the only one that had kids. My friends got much enjoyment from watching me and my son.
June 30, 2014 — 11:19 AM
Craig Forsyth says:
The Boy: “Daddy, can I have three?”
Me: “Three what sweetheart?”
The Boy: “Can I have three?”
Me: “Three what darling, what do you want three of?”
The Boy *holding up three fingers*: “THREE.”
Me: “Three what?”
The Boy: “Badabadabadabada…” *wanders off*
June 30, 2014 — 11:48 AM
Wendy Christopher says:
My son and I had the following conversation at the age of four, just after starting Reception Class (him obviously, not me)
Son: When I’m growed up will I get married?
Me: If you want to.
Son: And will I grow a baby in my tummy and be a daddy?
Me: Well, if you marry a lady the lady will grow the baby in her tummy…
Son: *surprised* The LADY will grow the baby?
Me: Well, yes…
Son: Why can’t I grow the baby in MY tummy?
Me: Because that’s what ladies do. Men can’t grow babies in their tummy – only ladies can do that.
Son: *outraged* Well THAT’S NOT FAIR!!
*Seethes for a moment in silent contemplation. Then shrugs.*
I might just get a horse instead.
June 30, 2014 — 12:16 PM
Mariannne says:
Mom, to BoyTwin early one Thursday morning: Go wake Sissy up.
BoyTwin,in bedroom: It’s Saturday!
GirlTwin *very groggy*: I slept that long?
June 30, 2014 — 12:47 PM
Celeste says:
When my son was five, he heard the lyrics for ‘Santa Clause is Coming to Town’ and said, “You mean Santa is *spying* on me?! That’s creepy!!”
My daughter at age four, walks up to me out of the blue and announces: “Mommy, if you let me stay up late tonight and hang out with me, I promise I won’t break anything else!”
June 30, 2014 — 1:04 PM
Kay Camden says:
From my three-year-old: “Dad says damn it, but *I* don’t say damn it, and my brother doesn’t say damn it, and you don’t say damn it…”
Then he looks at me like I should explain this. I kept my mouth shut, damn it.
June 30, 2014 — 1:19 PM
James L'Etoile says:
Does PETA know about the conditions the poor Buttdog is forced to endure? Oh, and is it a Pincher Buttdog, or the more common MuttButtDog?
June 30, 2014 — 1:45 PM
Winter says:
*giggle* Toddlers… oh toddlers, you are a source of such joy sometimes. And silliness. From a woman who has no toddler, only three cats that act like RAMPAGING SCREAMING BANSHEE MONKEY BANDITS, I was feeling like dog butt until I saw this post. Thank you.
June 30, 2014 — 2:04 PM
Sarah says:
From my then three-year-old (I wrote this exchange down immediately after it was finished, because I knew I’d forget it if I didn’t):
Me: Buddy, if you eat all your supper, we can go outside to eat your cupcake.
B: No, it’s going to rain.
Me: It might rain later, but it’s okay right now.
B: But it gets darker, and darker, and darker, and there’s lightning and *boom* thunder and it starts to rain. And then the clouds open and they’re full of fire, and the fire comes down.
Me: …okay…
B: Then, Roar! The monster comes out from the small house and tries to shake, shake, shake Buddy’s new house. But it’s made of brick so it’s too heavy.
Me: That…makes sense. What happens then?
B: The lines [power lines] come down and hit the monster and he falls down. Then the ants eat him up. And there’s lightning and *boom* thunder and rain. And the fire comes down.
Me: That was a great story, Buddy!
B: I’m going to tell it again. It got darker, and darker, and darker, and there was lightning and *boom* thunder. And then the rain came down. And the clouds broke open and were full of fire, and the fire came down.
Me: And then the monster came out and tried to shake your house?
B: No, the fire burned Buddy’s house.
Me: I thought it was made out of bricks?
B: No, straw. The fire burned it down, and the monster came out of the small house and came to Buddy’s house and built Buddy a new house with bricks.
Me: Oh! That was nice of him.
B: Yes. So I opened the door and told the monster to come in and we had juice and played cars. And there was lightning and *boom* thunder, and the rain came down. And the fire came down.
June 30, 2014 — 2:58 PM
familyfieldguide says:
Bear, then 5 years-old, is watching me make lunch.
Bear: Mom, you are a sexist.
(And yes, she knew this word.)
Me: How am I a sexist?
Bear: You never make boy cheese sandwiches. You only make girl cheese.
June 30, 2014 — 3:17 PM
familyfieldguide says:
Older son, then 3 1/2, watching as I changed his younger brother: It doesn’t matter if you’re circumcised or not circumcised. It only matters that you got one.
Wisdom for the ages.
June 30, 2014 — 3:22 PM
Jeannine Bergers Everett says:
Driving The Dude (at 5 years old) home from school….
The Dude : Today, we learned about centipedes.
Me : What did you learn?
The Dude : The have one hundred legs, and live one hundred years.
Me : What else did you learn?
The Dude : Each year, on their birthday, they lose a leg.
Me : The 99th birthday must be rough.
The Dude : Yes, because then they roll over and DIE!!! Starts chanting Cen-ti-pede, Cen-ti-pede.
He’s applying for college now, and no, he’s not studying etymology. He’s going into advertising. Good choice.
June 30, 2014 — 4:48 PM
leeanna says:
Yesterday at my cousins lake house my 8yr old was waiting for his female cousins to switch into their bathing suits, about a half hour goes by and I asked him if he was still going swimming. He says, “ya, jess is ready, but the other girls are still getting dressed. Slow and steady wins the race, mama.” Lol! Being patient until he gets what he wants:) smart kid lol:)
My oldest when he was 7 we were driving through a car lot full of balloons tied to the antennas, my son taps me and points “mom, that car’s so ugly its balloon popped!” Lol:)
June 30, 2014 — 7:40 PM
Angie says:
I dated a guy years ago whose son was 5 at the time. He had a pet mouse named Mrs. Brown, and she was friendly enough to be handled, and would sit on your shoulder. I had her on my shoulder one day, and she started crawling down my chest. 5yo pointed and said, “Look, Dad! Mrs. Brown is climbing the mountains, looking for gold!”
*cue adults completely losing it*
June 30, 2014 — 7:41 PM