Last week’s challenge: Life Is Hell.
I love this challenge because it always generates some interesting results.
It’s easy in concept, difficult in execution:
Come up with a great opening line.
That’s it.
Take that line, and drop it into the comments below.
BUT WAIT.
As they say, THERE’S MORE.
This opening line must be one sentence long — no more than that. Anything longer and I will publicly laugh at your inability to stick to the barest-of-bones submission guidelines.
I’d suggest avoiding some very cliched openings — previous challenges have yielded three overwrought motifs in this particular challenge, those three being:
Blood.
A gun.
Someone about to die / someone already dead (future corpse / current corpse).
So, maybe avoid those things unless you really think you can nail it.
The trick to writing a great opening line is keeping it brief, and yet at the same time suggesting a great deal of potential — an opening line is equal parts promise and fish-hook stuck in the reader’s brain-meats. It should make us want to read the rest of the story. Or, even better, make us as writers want to write the rest of that story (and par usual, that will be the nature of next Friday’s challenge). Nailing the opening line is a Samurai move — it’s delivering a single sword blow to end the match.
There will be a prize.
I’ll pick three that I love. And those three will get the first as-yet-unreleased e-book copies of my newest writing book, 500 Ways To Write Harder. You’ll get the book in PDF, ePub, and Kindle formats, all DRM-free because, really, fuck DRM right in its digital sphincter.
You have one week to get your lines in the door. Due firmly by noon EST on April 18th. I will then pick winners over the next week thereafter. You are allowed one entry, no more. Additional entries disqualify you.
So.
One opening line.
Make it sharp.
Win a book.
Drop it in the comments.
Matthew X. Gomez says:
Opening my front door, I was greeted by a great, smoking rift in my front walk.
April 11, 2014 — 3:39 PM
Aly says:
I winced as the sharp bite of a needle stung the skin of my upper arm, flooding my bloodstream with the antitoxins that would keep me from transforming.
April 11, 2014 — 3:45 PM
SAM says:
She said she loved the train.
April 11, 2014 — 3:51 PM
Jonathan says:
Most soldiers stayed poor after the Tinker Kings fell, but I wasn’t so lucky.
April 11, 2014 — 3:55 PM
Joseph D. Stirling says:
Well played, you have me curious.
April 12, 2014 — 3:02 AM
Cajetane says:
Love this! Want to know more, and I like the laconic style.
April 14, 2014 — 2:54 AM
Yasmine Fahmy says:
I like eating the ones with the crooked smiles best.
April 11, 2014 — 3:56 PM
Andreah Grove says:
I love this! It shook me and gave me chills. Hope to read the rest of the story 🙂
April 18, 2014 — 10:47 AM
Scott A. Bullard (@writingbull) says:
She could already tell her new school was like used toilet paper: clean and white on the outside, but on the inside, full of crap.
April 11, 2014 — 4:03 PM
Rio says:
That’s not what used toilet paper is like at all…
April 12, 2014 — 5:41 PM
Scott A. Bullard (@writingbull) says:
She knew she loved Hank because when she woke the next morning, she had not killed him in his sleep.
April 11, 2014 — 4:06 PM
Scott A. Bullard (@writingbull) says:
Killing zombies was tough, but Lindsey was finding putting them back together was even tougher.
April 11, 2014 — 4:08 PM
Ed Avern says:
There are some great lines on this page, but this is probably the best concept for a story I’ve seen here today.
April 14, 2014 — 6:54 AM
Scott A. Bullard (@writingbull) says:
If she knew then what she knew she’d be using his cock for a keychain.
April 11, 2014 — 4:11 PM
Scott A. Bullard (@writingbull) says:
*edit* If she knew then what she knew now she’d be using his cock for a keychain.
April 11, 2014 — 4:14 PM
fortworths says:
Wow. That a lot of entries ya’ got there….
April 12, 2014 — 7:21 AM
terribleminds says:
“You are allowed one entry, no more. Additional entries disqualify you.”
April 12, 2014 — 8:18 AM
Scott A. Bullard (@writingbull) says:
If it stays hard, ya just can’t let it go. So backlogged in my reading, I wouldn’t want to risk winning when someone else could get it. Not being cocky, just cautious. Wow, that a lot of penis references. Well, I’m in the right place for it, I guess. Thanks for reading, though.
April 12, 2014 — 2:07 PM
boydstun215 says:
Last week they tried setting me on fire, the week before that it was drowning, so this week we’re trying electrocution.
April 11, 2014 — 4:25 PM
Justin Beeman says:
I like this one! Makes me want to know more about the narrator and why this is happening to him.
April 11, 2014 — 4:31 PM
mznetta says:
I need to know more.
April 12, 2014 — 5:23 PM
Hana Frank says:
Love the use of ‘we’re’ instead of ‘they’re’ trying electrocution for black humour. Amazing what a difference one word can make.
April 13, 2014 — 2:13 AM
boydstun215 says:
Thanks for the comment! I changed the pronoun at the last second. Seemed too bland until I implicated the narrator.
April 14, 2014 — 12:31 AM
Justin Beeman says:
To this day, I still blame my divorce on the fucking rubber ducky.
April 11, 2014 — 4:27 PM
thomaspierson says:
I like this one, it makes me grin and it makes me want to know if it’s a specific rubber ducky, or if its all of them, or if it’s the Sesame Street song. Nifty.
April 11, 2014 — 5:36 PM
Justin Beeman says:
Not that I would actually write a story along these lines but in my head, I imagined a guy explaining how he caught his wife’s lover slipping out of the house as he stepped on a rubber ducky! Inspiration found while going to the bathroom.
April 11, 2014 — 6:21 PM
thomaspierson says:
Oh, man. I laughed so hard at that explanation. I love the line of reasoning that your character is following. Classic self-deception.
April 12, 2014 — 3:41 PM
Justin Beeman says:
Thanks, I appreciate the feedback!
April 12, 2014 — 11:01 PM
Zeynep says:
“Waking up was strange that day, because for the first time in a long while, I wanted to get up and look out of my window.”
April 11, 2014 — 4:34 PM
DJH says:
Taking the stairs two at a time, the odds of avoiding a fresh deposit of human excrement being with her mathematically, Casey emerged one block south of 23rd Street.
April 11, 2014 — 4:37 PM
petewoodworth says:
And of course the second one I submit – and therefore figured is disqualified – is the one people like more. 😉
April 11, 2014 — 4:39 PM
TRL says:
Otis quickly discovered that trying to survive underwater by french kissing the valve of a Pirelli tire was much harder than it appeared on the television.
April 11, 2014 — 4:46 PM
joebrewing says:
Twenty years ago today I was born, and the sun died.
April 11, 2014 — 4:57 PM
nlhartmann says:
For once in his life, Darren ignored the impulse to run and began to feel his way down to the pitch black cellar.
April 11, 2014 — 5:04 PM
Jessica says:
I remember the good ol’ days when a gun used to actually hurt a man.
April 11, 2014 — 5:17 PM
thomaspierson says:
When he saw my bear chest with its scars and the severed left breast, Tyson Goldsmith knew that my revenge was heartless.
April 11, 2014 — 5:34 PM
SAM says:
if you’re intent was to make me wonder if the narrator is human or bear, you’ve been successful. it’s an intriguing line.
April 11, 2014 — 5:52 PM
SAM says:
Nope, not you’re. Your…sheesh! Autocorrect.
April 11, 2014 — 5:52 PM
thomaspierson says:
It’s a horrible line, because “bear” is a typo. I had written the line twice, in two different programs, and ended up posting the wrong one. *This is my pouty face*
April 12, 2014 — 6:21 PM
SAM says:
It’s not a horrible line, just a typo.
April 15, 2014 — 7:36 AM
Mo Ali says:
The three Bobs stood together on the beach as the sky and the ocean slowly disappeared, and wondered which of them would get to make the first move.
April 11, 2014 — 5:35 PM
absentmemory says:
I don’t look down even though it makes me stumble; the horizon is safe, neutral, with no eyes looking back at me.
April 11, 2014 — 5:36 PM
marissafoley says:
This is fantastic, and relatable too (for me at least). Personification is a great technique and you use it well!
April 11, 2014 — 8:35 PM
JackieGranger says:
I am constantly amazed at how a seemingly random event happening in one place can affect the outcome of another random event happening in a different place.
April 11, 2014 — 5:38 PM
Toni in florida says:
This makes me want to write the next line to be “Fucking physics.”
April 20, 2014 — 2:20 PM
catkite says:
After one last swig, Danny dumped the jar of moonshine onto the pinball machine and lit a match.
April 11, 2014 — 5:43 PM
boydstun215 says:
This is really cool. Hope you don’t mind the comparison, but this sounds like it could be the first line from a Stephen King novel.
April 18, 2014 — 7:13 PM
J.Sander says:
I never truly meant to die, I slipped.
April 11, 2014 — 5:56 PM
Saxon Kennedy says:
I didn’t burn down the school-no, that would be way to cliché; I merely…put on a show.
April 11, 2014 — 6:06 PM
Vicente L Ruiz says:
Our dog brought home trouble in the form of a dead goblin.
April 11, 2014 — 6:08 PM
angelacavanaugh says:
They thought that they could just bring it back, clone something that hadn’t existed for so long, and that it would all be okay somehow, but they were wrong.
April 11, 2014 — 6:14 PM
Aaron Clark says:
The charge was Sexual Assault of a Domesticated Animal (dog).
April 11, 2014 — 6:24 PM
murgatroid98 says:
I held his hand until his heart ceased to beat and his skin grew cold, then pressed the button summon the disposal-bots.
April 11, 2014 — 6:27 PM
Michael Gufler says:
Until that day, Esther had been pretty certain her father was something her mom made up.
April 11, 2014 — 6:27 PM
Tony Taylor says:
This is got potential…I think I will take this one. However, I am still deciding. Good opener!!!!
April 23, 2014 — 9:08 AM
Carmen Piranha says:
I was sick to death of darkness, muffled sounds and being unable to move more than an inch or two, when finally – finally! – I was being pulled to freedom from between my captor’s legs as she lay writhing on the bed.
April 11, 2014 — 6:30 PM
William Hardman says:
I have known Doctor Kershaw for twenty eight years, but he was about to meet me once again for the first time.
April 11, 2014 — 6:33 PM
Rio says:
I snap my fingers, and the building bursts into flames.
April 11, 2014 — 7:08 PM
karenpaytonholt says:
The fortress windows glowed orange as though the aftermath of the battle which had raged inside had left embers of hatred smoldering in its belly.
April 11, 2014 — 7:08 PM
S E Gilchrist (@SEGilchrist1) says:
The sound of trudging footsteps slammed into the cell, echoing off the rock walls and jerking Ulrac into full consciousness.
April 11, 2014 — 7:14 PM
szramiakje says:
They came under the moonlight, black cloaks unfurling in the wind, dark eyes under darker hoods, noiseless but for the drumming of the horses’ hooves on the dead earth pounding with the force of a thousand tired souls, matched only in this world by the furious beating of my own heart.
April 11, 2014 — 7:16 PM
melanie klais says:
My grotesque hands gripped the noose around my neck, as I gave the nod.
April 11, 2014 — 7:24 PM
Nick Nafpliotis (@NickNafster79) says:
These hands have done things that this mind should never have allowed.
April 11, 2014 — 7:27 PM
Mozette says:
The blood was on my hands from the moment I saw her at the bus stop to the moment I kissed her that night and began to remove her clothing; yes, she was my next victim they’d never find.
April 11, 2014 — 7:28 PM
Mozette says:
I’ve also put this one onto my blog for the rest of my followers to read it. 🙂
April 11, 2014 — 8:52 PM
Amber Scott says:
I eat my own heart every day and coat my throat in copper rage.
April 11, 2014 — 7:32 PM
Sean says:
Once upon a time, a girl fell in love with a mountain.
April 11, 2014 — 7:37 PM
calemed1 says:
This reminded me of a very, very strange book I read years ago in which the protagonist’s father was a mountain and his mother was a washing machine. He came out humanoid, but capable of planarian-like regeneration, and falls in love with a girl who has wings.
April 14, 2014 — 3:28 AM
Melissa Wright says:
That’s an actual book with an actual plot that actually got published? That’s the weirdest summary I’ve ever encountered. Props to whoever pulled that book off. I think.
April 15, 2014 — 2:02 AM
Dangerdean says:
Someone Comes to Town, Someone Leaves Town, by Cory Doctorow. Dude also has three brothers that are Russian nesting dolls.
April 19, 2014 — 1:34 AM
Melissa Wright says:
I am so going to read that.
April 22, 2014 — 12:48 AM
Trina says:
Few books, he had pink panties in his locker, and a headless doll.
April 11, 2014 — 7:43 PM
TheSpiderlilly says:
I’ll use the one from my novel-in-progress:-
It was a matter of wit.
April 11, 2014 — 7:54 PM
pgreenbergcrime says:
Lou Reed got me fired.
April 11, 2014 — 8:08 PM
whimsyandmetaphor says:
On Thursday it rained, election week started, and two failed experiments booked a shitty hotel room.
April 11, 2014 — 8:20 PM
boydstun215 says:
Very intriguing. I want to know more about those experiments. (For some reason I have an image of two chimps trying to book a night at a Motel 6).
April 15, 2014 — 1:49 PM
entrebat says:
Apparently it wasn’t enough that I survived the reality bomb, they wanted me to pair up with myself to go back into the breach.
April 11, 2014 — 8:23 PM
Cajetane says:
Interesting 🙂 Could be some humour here…would read on a little 🙂
April 14, 2014 — 2:58 AM
marissafoley says:
Crimson blood burned through the walls like wildfire, warping the glass into an inflamed blister of red crystal.
April 11, 2014 — 8:28 PM
Dr. Nate Harada says:
My grandmother once told me that the first and deepest emotion of all men is fear.
April 11, 2014 — 8:51 PM
Cajetane says:
Hmmmm. I like your grandmother already! Would read on….
April 14, 2014 — 2:59 AM
Melissa Wright says:
I like this… could go anywhere, any genre, but you already have some tension making me wonder where it will go.
April 15, 2014 — 2:04 AM
Jessica says:
I’m just gonna borrow this one for the writing prompt. Kthx.
April 23, 2014 — 1:26 AM