Last week’s challenge: Life Is Hell.
I love this challenge because it always generates some interesting results.
It’s easy in concept, difficult in execution:
Come up with a great opening line.
That’s it.
Take that line, and drop it into the comments below.
BUT WAIT.
As they say, THERE’S MORE.
This opening line must be one sentence long — no more than that. Anything longer and I will publicly laugh at your inability to stick to the barest-of-bones submission guidelines.
I’d suggest avoiding some very cliched openings — previous challenges have yielded three overwrought motifs in this particular challenge, those three being:
Blood.
A gun.
Someone about to die / someone already dead (future corpse / current corpse).
So, maybe avoid those things unless you really think you can nail it.
The trick to writing a great opening line is keeping it brief, and yet at the same time suggesting a great deal of potential — an opening line is equal parts promise and fish-hook stuck in the reader’s brain-meats. It should make us want to read the rest of the story. Or, even better, make us as writers want to write the rest of that story (and par usual, that will be the nature of next Friday’s challenge). Nailing the opening line is a Samurai move — it’s delivering a single sword blow to end the match.
There will be a prize.
I’ll pick three that I love. And those three will get the first as-yet-unreleased e-book copies of my newest writing book, 500 Ways To Write Harder. You’ll get the book in PDF, ePub, and Kindle formats, all DRM-free because, really, fuck DRM right in its digital sphincter.
You have one week to get your lines in the door. Due firmly by noon EST on April 18th. I will then pick winners over the next week thereafter. You are allowed one entry, no more. Additional entries disqualify you.
So.
One opening line.
Make it sharp.
Win a book.
Drop it in the comments.
Laura Hickman says:
The jars, lined up next to each other, each shimmer with something slithering within all of them, except the newest one.
April 11, 2014 — 12:46 PM
robinlmartinez says:
“I’ve got to admit, there are few things I find sexier than a Pinto with a dead body in the trunk.”
April 11, 2014 — 12:47 PM
Jules says:
I like this, possibly mostly because I learned to drive using a Pinto 🙂
April 11, 2014 — 12:55 PM
Jules says:
She was a beautiful girl and he was glad she’d grabbed him…until he realized the hand she gripped him with was attached to an arm that had burst out of the center of her chest.
April 11, 2014 — 12:48 PM
Carl says:
The prisoner could pass for human.
April 11, 2014 — 12:50 PM
curiouskermit says:
I like this! Short, yet says a lot. =)
April 11, 2014 — 1:34 PM
allsnjill says:
Succinct and intriguing, well done.
April 11, 2014 — 3:04 PM
thomasmhewlett says:
Peering through the shadowy mist of his wife’s naked body as she bounced away on top of him, he could just make out the look of smug disappointment on the Angel of Death’s face as she materialized in the doorway.
April 11, 2014 — 12:51 PM
Jemima Pett says:
Nobody in her right mind would leave her spacesuit in the airlock.
April 11, 2014 — 12:56 PM
Christopher Hayles says:
“Just let me sleep,” he pleaded with the dark, empty room while tugging at his matted hair.
April 11, 2014 — 12:57 PM
Beverly says:
Ms. Williams had never walked into a kindergarten class that was so utterly silent.
(Hi, I’m a teacher, how did you guess?)
April 11, 2014 — 1:00 PM
Rebecca Douglass says:
Lots of possibilities there!
April 21, 2014 — 2:52 PM
fortworths says:
The leg collector closed the living room curtains at sunset and admired the day’s hoard.
April 11, 2014 — 1:00 PM
robinlmartinez says:
Creepy! Want to know more 🙂
April 11, 2014 — 1:13 PM
Ducky says:
The crack in the wall appeared three days after they moved in.
April 11, 2014 — 1:01 PM
Beverly says:
Fantastic.
April 11, 2014 — 1:26 PM
curiouskermit says:
Nice! I’m already scared.
April 11, 2014 — 1:35 PM
allsnjill says:
This is great!
April 11, 2014 — 2:55 PM
Justin Peniston says:
Yeah, that’s good.
April 12, 2014 — 5:50 PM
boydstun215 says:
Yeah, I like this one.
April 15, 2014 — 1:44 PM
Steve says:
That summer there were strange lights near the lake and pets kept disappearing from the neighborhood.
April 11, 2014 — 1:08 PM
Bill says:
“NOOOOO”, Justin screamed as the first spasm flooded his torso with pain.
April 11, 2014 — 1:09 PM
Joseph says:
As his mind started surfacing from its whisky sodden slumber, Chuck cracked open his left eye praying that for once he wouldn’t wake up next to a warm gun, puddle of blood or a newly created corpse.
April 11, 2014 — 1:10 PM
Jane says:
Like
April 11, 2014 — 2:27 PM
angelacavanaugh says:
That’s pretty great.
April 11, 2014 — 3:04 PM
fortworths says:
Well done.
April 11, 2014 — 5:44 PM
A. E. Lowan says:
At first we thought we could control the fire.
April 11, 2014 — 1:14 PM
Mike W. says:
I like this…there are plenty of possibilities it conjures up (firefighters, arsonists, pyrokinetics, etc.)
April 11, 2014 — 2:36 PM
Melissa Wright says:
Like it. This really leads into a story, without telling too much, it makes me want to know both what led up to that point AND what happens next…
April 15, 2014 — 1:44 AM
Phillip McCollum says:
Mr. PIercy was pierced by a piercing piercing, a replica replicating a replicated replicator.
April 11, 2014 — 1:16 PM
Howard Phillips says:
“Don’t touch it.”
April 11, 2014 — 1:19 PM
richardsturgis says:
There is only one acceptable time to admit that you are a cannibal.
April 11, 2014 — 1:20 PM
Jules says:
That is very good. It totally sent my mind on a weird journey…
April 11, 2014 — 2:11 PM
richardsturgis says:
Thanks!
April 11, 2014 — 2:18 PM
Justin Peniston says:
Nice. I like this.
April 12, 2014 — 5:51 PM
richardsturgis says:
Appreciated!
April 14, 2014 — 1:12 PM
Samantha i says:
Good. I’d read on.
April 17, 2014 — 3:06 PM
richardsturgis says:
Awesome!
April 18, 2014 — 10:22 AM
Jimmie says:
The end of the world began with three things: an errant hammer-blow on an unsuspecting thumbnail; a thoughtless, angry curse; and a single, unnoticed drop of blood.
April 11, 2014 — 1:24 PM
john freeter says:
Father Ted crossed himself as he caressed the table’s green felt, awaiting the cards which held the orphanage’s fate.
April 11, 2014 — 1:24 PM
Melissa Wright says:
While there isn’t the sense of “mystery” here that a lot of people are going for, this one clearly leads right into a real story with an interesting character. I like it.
April 15, 2014 — 1:46 AM
Aimee Kuzenski says:
Because the dead do not sleep, Doctor Marie Fluette was reading at her desk in the library when she felt the great building shudder like a flea-bit dog.
April 11, 2014 — 1:42 PM
Mark A. Sargent says:
Nice, I like the setup on this one. Tells us some things about the character and gets a little of the action started.
April 11, 2014 — 3:01 PM
Lonnie James says:
In his arguments, Joe Walker was like a boxer, using jabs to keep an opponent away, punching hard and quick to inflict as much damage as possible, cutting off retreat or retrenchment until his opponent had no other choice but to capitulate, to yield, to almost bow in deference to him.
April 11, 2014 — 1:47 PM
JR Simmang says:
The last time I passed gas in front of the Danavian Prince, it was laced with neurotoxin; this time, I had to say, “pardon.”
April 11, 2014 — 1:50 PM
richardsturgis says:
This reminds me of the beginning of John Scalzi’s The Android’s Dream, which starts with a long fart joke.
April 18, 2014 — 11:50 AM
Kir Piccini says:
“This is absolutely the last time I let Liza pick the venue for my birthday.”
April 11, 2014 — 1:54 PM
SAM says:
Absolutely love this!
April 11, 2014 — 5:37 PM
Jack says:
Jim kicked the plug on the machine, but the screams didn’t stop.
April 11, 2014 — 1:59 PM
lizlincolnwriter says:
Her friend once said you knew it was really fabulous sex if it destroyed your manicure; in three years with
Rich, Bria’s nails were always perfect.
April 11, 2014 — 2:08 PM
KK says:
Love it!
April 11, 2014 — 3:32 PM
Shane Vaughan says:
The music slipped softly from the piano I’d burnt three days prior.
April 11, 2014 — 2:11 PM
allsnjill says:
Very evocative and creepy!
April 11, 2014 — 3:05 PM
Ruth Dupre says:
“I’m hungry; let’s kill someone.”
April 11, 2014 — 2:12 PM
boydstun215 says:
Kind of twisted . . . me likee.
April 15, 2014 — 1:45 PM
spidlerc says:
Her name was Sandy, and if you knew what to look for you could just barely make out the cigarette burns on her thighs as she wrapped herself around the smudged brass pole.
April 11, 2014 — 2:15 PM
Jane says:
That’s a story in itself – good one!
April 11, 2014 — 2:29 PM
brian rider says:
Each time I travel into a new parallel universe, I find myself stabbing the same man.
April 11, 2014 — 2:16 PM
Jessica says:
really like this one
April 11, 2014 — 5:16 PM
Ian Everett says:
Being an idiot took a large measure of Sir Jason’s brainpower; the current thought he suffered to produce had to slog through a swamp of useless information before reaching the forefront of his mind, at which point he said, “Ah, gents, I do believe these men are cannibals.”
April 11, 2014 — 2:21 PM
agonyzer says:
The ghost in his arms flailed madly, like a sheet hung out to dry; the cold numbed his chest and stopped his heart.
April 11, 2014 — 2:24 PM
Ericka Clay says:
She had swallowed the tooth but that was okay because Benny had said teeth were only a luxury, so even as it swirled through a ribbon of colon, Merry looked up and smiled.
April 11, 2014 — 2:27 PM
Mr Urban Spaceman says:
As she watched the boy strut arrogantly around the campsite, the leader’s words tumbled through her mind; “You fear his power, don’t you?”
April 11, 2014 — 2:27 PM
Brenda says:
I couldn’t tell you why there was a clown in my bathtub or why I was in a pink cocktail gown.
April 11, 2014 — 2:33 PM
Mike W. says:
I like this…it’s surreal enough to arouse curiosity.
April 11, 2014 — 2:39 PM
Chris Bryson says:
Her bubbly laugh reminded me of a girl from my seventh grade class; not that of the cold calculating terrorist that the entire world know soon by the moniker “The Mantis.”
April 11, 2014 — 2:34 PM
Mike W. says:
I ran into Jenny yesterday and all I could think of to say was, “You should’ve heard what I said about you at your funeral.”
April 11, 2014 — 2:34 PM
Anthony says:
I had won a kingdom through iron and blood but I had no idea what to do with it.
April 11, 2014 — 2:35 PM
Hannah says:
I like this!
April 11, 2014 — 2:48 PM
Mark A. Sargent says:
Seconded. It’s something I often wonder about heroes. “Hey we won… now what?” Sets up a whole different adventure. 🙂
April 11, 2014 — 3:05 PM
Hannah says:
Agreed! It reminded me of George RR Martin’s A Song of Ice And Fire–at some point someone asks, “Once you have the throne, what will you do with it?”
April 11, 2014 — 3:28 PM
Jen Donohue says:
I had the misfortune to fall in love with Doc Holliday when I was sixteen, one hundred and ten years after he died.
April 11, 2014 — 2:39 PM
tiffyfit says:
She licked the blade clean, savoring the blood, before daintily stepping over the pile of Legos and heading back to the kitchen to continue preparing dinner, this time in blessed silence.
April 11, 2014 — 2:45 PM
Hannah says:
It started with the fires but no one made the connection until it was too late.
April 11, 2014 — 2:48 PM
allsnjill says:
Nobody suspects the girl who smiles.
April 11, 2014 — 2:54 PM
Shane Vaughan says:
Excellent! That’s actually perfect… Works as a blurb line, too ^^
April 11, 2014 — 8:26 PM
K. Zorn says:
When I close my eyes at the bottom of the well, the world above me ceases to exist.
April 11, 2014 — 2:55 PM
lelagwenn says:
Harold had been told to go to hell so many times that when he woke up there, it was hardly a surprise.
April 11, 2014 — 2:57 PM
Melissa Wright says:
You made me laugh. I’d keep reading. 🙂
April 15, 2014 — 1:50 AM
Dita says:
The book read like gibberish, until Silvia found one word – the word that changed her destiny in the first place.
April 11, 2014 — 3:13 PM
thatcalamity says:
The lattice of scars on Clara’s forearms gleamed in the dying light.
April 11, 2014 — 3:22 PM
J. Bishop says:
Don’t know if it was the alcohol, weed or the fact that I hadn’t slept in 3 days, but whatever the culprit was, I knew a talking damn dog when I saw one.
April 11, 2014 — 3:26 PM
Mari says:
Though Dr. Millan thoroughly believed that it was scientifically impossible for someone to die of boredom, at this point, she was willing to reconsider the potential validity of this idiom – until her 5 o’clock disclosed where he hid the bodies.
April 11, 2014 — 3:32 PM
Chelsea Klahr (@ChelseaKlahr) says:
If all the world’s truly a stage, life merely an act, and I cast to play the part, might I at least make the story interesting?
April 11, 2014 — 3:32 PM