Last week’s challenge: Life Is Hell.
I love this challenge because it always generates some interesting results.
It’s easy in concept, difficult in execution:
Come up with a great opening line.
That’s it.
Take that line, and drop it into the comments below.
BUT WAIT.
As they say, THERE’S MORE.
This opening line must be one sentence long — no more than that. Anything longer and I will publicly laugh at your inability to stick to the barest-of-bones submission guidelines.
I’d suggest avoiding some very cliched openings — previous challenges have yielded three overwrought motifs in this particular challenge, those three being:
Blood.
A gun.
Someone about to die / someone already dead (future corpse / current corpse).
So, maybe avoid those things unless you really think you can nail it.
The trick to writing a great opening line is keeping it brief, and yet at the same time suggesting a great deal of potential — an opening line is equal parts promise and fish-hook stuck in the reader’s brain-meats. It should make us want to read the rest of the story. Or, even better, make us as writers want to write the rest of that story (and par usual, that will be the nature of next Friday’s challenge). Nailing the opening line is a Samurai move — it’s delivering a single sword blow to end the match.
There will be a prize.
I’ll pick three that I love. And those three will get the first as-yet-unreleased e-book copies of my newest writing book, 500 Ways To Write Harder. You’ll get the book in PDF, ePub, and Kindle formats, all DRM-free because, really, fuck DRM right in its digital sphincter.
You have one week to get your lines in the door. Due firmly by noon EST on April 18th. I will then pick winners over the next week thereafter. You are allowed one entry, no more. Additional entries disqualify you.
So.
One opening line.
Make it sharp.
Win a book.
Drop it in the comments.
Jack says:
Jeanette sighed as she put the hamster into the microwave.
April 11, 2014 — 11:40 AM
robinlmartinez says:
You definitely have me intrigued…
April 11, 2014 — 12:49 PM
Jules says:
I do not like Jeanette. But definitely an interesting first line!
April 11, 2014 — 12:55 PM
curiouskermit says:
This is horrible, yet interesting. Why is she sighing? She’s not an ordinary psychopath microwaving rodents, if she’s sighing.
April 11, 2014 — 1:38 PM
thomaspierson says:
Very good, now I’m wondering if she’s sad or if she’s just resigned to it.
April 11, 2014 — 5:38 PM
Justin Peniston says:
Yes. I would keep reading.
April 12, 2014 — 5:43 PM
Jessica McHugh (@theJessMcHugh) says:
Vodka is a shitty navigator.
(The Train Derails in Boston)
April 11, 2014 — 11:41 AM
prettysemmy says:
I would keep reading after this starter. 🙂
April 11, 2014 — 11:53 AM
allsnjill says:
This sets a tone for a story that I would enjoy reading.
April 11, 2014 — 2:58 PM
urdith says:
“You can tell someone is too invested in their job when they return from the dead to finish a project plan.”
April 11, 2014 — 11:41 AM
Alecia Miller says:
As a Project Manager by day – this line hits waaaay to close to home.
🙂
April 11, 2014 — 11:47 AM
Jen Dornan-Fish says:
Love this, already has voice and I want to know more.
April 11, 2014 — 11:49 AM
Kelly says:
I can relate to those nasty things, and am grateful they are no longer required in the Agile world… I would keep reading this 🙂
April 11, 2014 — 12:10 PM
robinlmartinez says:
Awesome! Great line 🙂
April 11, 2014 — 12:50 PM
Tony Taylor says:
I love this line!!!!!
April 23, 2014 — 8:58 AM
Kit Yona says:
“Plans went awry, as they often do in the most interesting stories.”
April 11, 2014 — 11:43 AM
joeturner87 says:
Sex, drugs, and whack-a-mole.
April 11, 2014 — 11:47 AM
Jeremiah says:
The change is always painful; ribs crack while teeth and claws begin to glimmer in the light of the full moon.
April 11, 2014 — 11:47 AM
Kelly says:
Got me hooked!
April 11, 2014 — 12:11 PM
Jen Dornan-Fish says:
The deck of the airship swarmed with wild-eyed girls gnashing their teeth and pumping filth-covered fists in the air like tiny, bloodthirsty monsters.
April 11, 2014 — 11:48 AM
thomaspierson says:
And…. come on don’t stop now.
April 11, 2014 — 5:39 PM
Wendy Christopher says:
It’s a hen night, isn’t it? 😉
No, seriously, it’s an intriguing first line. Like it!
April 12, 2014 — 5:08 AM
tericonnolly says:
The empty planter sat naked against the dawning light.
April 11, 2014 — 11:49 AM
Rick Cook Jr says:
“A daring rescue shouldn’t involve public indecency!” she said, handing him the trousers off her police detail.
April 11, 2014 — 11:52 AM
Jules says:
This sounds fun 🙂
April 11, 2014 — 12:49 PM
Mark Matthews says:
The smell of the baboon fart was evidence enough that it would be flammable.
April 11, 2014 — 11:53 AM
Rhys Dion Cole says:
Sarah awoke to the rising sun and the sound of birds barking beyond her window.
April 11, 2014 — 11:55 AM
Tonia says:
There was a little girl dancing in the graveyard.
April 11, 2014 — 11:56 AM
Rick Cook Jr says:
Now this one I like.
April 11, 2014 — 1:05 PM
curiouskermit says:
I want to read this!!! Please turn it into a book.
April 11, 2014 — 1:40 PM
allsnjill says:
Nice contrast here, I am intrigued.
April 11, 2014 — 3:00 PM
thomaspierson says:
very good, got me interested immediately.
April 11, 2014 — 5:40 PM
Justin Peniston says:
Yes. This intrigues me and I would keep reading.
April 12, 2014 — 5:44 PM
Trine Toft Schmidt says:
Just wanted to say I really loved this line and it ended up being the starter line for my story this week. 🙂
April 22, 2014 — 2:23 PM
sincerelyxdonnaxb says:
Someone was watching me.
April 11, 2014 — 11:56 AM
Kelly says:
He stood there frozen, in the small-darkened observation room, peering through the one-way glass into the interview room.
(Justice and Mating Collides, a WIP)
April 11, 2014 — 11:57 AM
Heather Kamins says:
The pink phone message slip stuck to the refrigerator read, “Your mother called, and she wants her time machine back.”
April 11, 2014 — 11:57 AM
robinlmartinez says:
Like this! I would keep reading for sure.
April 11, 2014 — 12:48 PM
Jules says:
I love this, the possibilities seem endless!
April 11, 2014 — 12:49 PM
thomaspierson says:
This is a good one. So many possibilities.
April 11, 2014 — 5:41 PM
Jemima Pett says:
I’m posting a tale for this on Friday – be back to give you the link 🙂
Jemima’s blogging from Alpha to Zulu in April
April 16, 2014 — 1:41 PM
Jemima Pett says:
The Inevitability of Time: http://jemimapett.com/blog/2014/04/18/p-is-for-papa-and-flash-fiction-friday/
April 18, 2014 — 5:07 AM
Rebecca Douglass says:
Go read this–beautiful and creative and heart-breaking.
April 21, 2014 — 3:08 PM
Anisa A. Claire says:
Trembling, I succumb to the evil lurking in the shadows of my mind as I collapse to the ground and begin sucking the moisture from the carpet.
April 11, 2014 — 11:57 AM
Jenny says:
“Whose baby is this?”
April 11, 2014 — 11:58 AM
Paul Baxter says:
There was no blood, no gun, no corpse, and he wondered how his plan could have gone so utterly wrong.
April 11, 2014 — 11:58 AM
Jules says:
I see what ya did there. I like it!
April 11, 2014 — 12:50 PM
robinlmartinez says:
HeeHee! I think you nailed it. Good job!
April 11, 2014 — 12:50 PM
Justin Peniston says:
Awesome.
April 12, 2014 — 5:45 PM
pmillhouse says:
Elf Prince Kort Elias’s chest tightened, and he swirled through the vortex pulling him toward a magic portal that led him and the dragon from one dimension to another.
April 11, 2014 — 12:01 PM
Bob Pastorella says:
When those things on Mae’s back turned out to be wings, Frankie got a camcorder from the pawnshop, figuring he’d be a Youtube sensation in less than a week.
April 11, 2014 — 12:01 PM
dangerdean says:
Cool. Already started on this!
April 13, 2014 — 2:42 AM
mikes75 says:
The big guy in the last booth wasn’t the reason we kept quiet, though we were concerned about what’d happen when he moved.
April 11, 2014 — 12:03 PM
John Pula says:
New Yorkers have everything: bridges, subways, skyscrapers, and tons of other suicide methods.
April 11, 2014 — 12:03 PM
Ed Avern says:
Brilliant.
April 11, 2014 — 12:18 PM
shambition says:
Nice!
April 14, 2014 — 12:33 AM
calemed1 says:
Bravo.
April 14, 2014 — 3:31 AM
John Pula says:
I need to withdraw this from the contest. I didn’t realize the rules were for something not yet written (Just finished the first draft last week). Thanks for the positive comments, though.
April 14, 2014 — 7:52 AM
petewoodworth says:
Like many young men confronted with unbearable circumstances, I found myself compelled to become a rabbit.
April 11, 2014 — 12:03 PM
thomaspierson says:
As we all have at one time or anther. Well done on this one.
April 11, 2014 — 5:44 PM
SciFiMagpie says:
“Dad, Dad, I killed a dragon!”
April 11, 2014 — 12:06 PM
Grantwilli says:
Gary wondered what purpose Dr. Lewis could have had for giving hin the microSD card rhat he found when the stitches burst on his vasectomy incision.
April 11, 2014 — 12:06 PM
robinlmartinez says:
You started to lose me until those incisions came in. Nice!
April 11, 2014 — 12:52 PM
Eoin Brady says:
Taking things apart requires in equal measure care of hand and love of heart, at least that’s what the young watchmaker used to believe, though he felt empty now, laying out each part delicately, glad he used screws and not glue when he first built the crib.
April 11, 2014 — 12:06 PM
Mark A. Sargent says:
Erg, that one hit too close to home.
April 11, 2014 — 3:11 PM
calemed1 says:
Beautiful. Tragic. Great.
April 14, 2014 — 3:32 AM
Vicente L Ruiz says:
But this is cheating! This is not an opening line, it’s a micro-story in itself!
And a great one, I must add.
April 14, 2014 — 7:28 AM
Jennifer Skutelsky says:
Night crept in like a giant slug.
April 11, 2014 — 12:08 PM
Josh Peters says:
Love it.
April 11, 2014 — 12:16 PM
thomaspierson says:
Nifty.
April 11, 2014 — 5:45 PM
mangacat201 says:
That is perfect!
April 12, 2014 — 2:23 AM
Laith Shriam says:
There’s something to be said for helmets.
April 11, 2014 — 12:09 PM
Justin Peniston says:
I like this. This would keep me reading.
April 12, 2014 — 5:46 PM
Paul D says:
http://www.luckybubblegum.com/2014/04/kill-peter-pan.html
Just wanted to let you know I used your opening line.
Thanks for sharing it.
April 25, 2014 — 12:05 PM
Benedicte Koch says:
As the blur of classical music rang through-out the large concrete building Alexander watched as his mother stuffed random artifacts from around the house into a large fabric suitcase.
April 11, 2014 — 12:10 PM
Paul says:
Her tears finally tasted like Lucky Charms.
April 11, 2014 — 12:10 PM
Jules says:
This is very intriguing. Love it!
April 11, 2014 — 12:51 PM
curiouskermit says:
The word “finally” really wins here. So she’s been trying for a long time to make her tears taste like Lucky Charms? That’s awesome.
April 11, 2014 — 1:42 PM
Kristina Rajchel (@KrisRajchel) says:
One whiff of him and conventional reality slid merrily into pherome-laden chaos.
April 11, 2014 — 12:11 PM
Kristina Rajchel (@KrisRajchel) says:
Aaand I can’t spell. Pheromone, Kris. *wince*
April 11, 2014 — 12:19 PM
thomaspierson says:
Very nice, misspelling or no.
April 11, 2014 — 5:46 PM
Cape Rust says:
The world looks much different from this angle.
April 11, 2014 — 12:11 PM
Ute Orgassa (@Scratchingcat) says:
Earnest looked at the recently closed factory building with such glee and longing that it wouldn’t have been at all surprising if he had drooled onto his designer suit.
April 11, 2014 — 12:12 PM
Robert Sadler says:
It’s an odd feeling to wake at your own wake, and even stranger to find it full of strangers.
April 11, 2014 — 12:15 PM
Jules says:
Clever! I like it 🙂
April 11, 2014 — 12:52 PM
Robert Sadler says:
Gracias.
April 11, 2014 — 3:29 PM
robinlmartinez says:
Thumbs up!
April 11, 2014 — 12:52 PM
Robert Sadler says:
Appreciate it!
April 11, 2014 — 3:30 PM
Matthew Eaton says:
Right, well I had everything lined up until I saw the entry. The opening isn’t fantastic, but hey…it’s worth a shot.
What happens when a wizard plays a rigged game with a “vampire?” Find out in THREES
http://www.mattheweatonwriter.com/flash-fiction-friday-threes/
April 11, 2014 — 12:15 PM
Matthew Eaton says:
Sigh…This is what I get for not reading the entire thing at work…D’oh! You can delete the above, nevermind!
April 11, 2014 — 12:19 PM
Josh Peters says:
He sat near the fireplace in his recliner and talked long into the night to the empty chair across from him.
April 11, 2014 — 12:15 PM
thomaspierson says:
A marvelous job conveying comfortable loneliness, sad and vivid.
April 11, 2014 — 5:48 PM
Marty Milner says:
It was a near thing, it came down to wearing the right shoes and not being afraid to die.
April 11, 2014 — 12:18 PM
Dangerdean says:
“I always told you I’d be back,” she said, whiskey breath hot against my neck.
April 11, 2014 — 12:18 PM
Ed Avern says:
It was on Thursday that I discovered just how difficult it is to extract a fishhook from a scrotum.
April 11, 2014 — 12:19 PM
Jules says:
Very…visceral! :/ But interesting!
April 11, 2014 — 1:05 PM
ryanvgr says:
I had everything I ever wanted; I was very sad.
April 11, 2014 — 12:20 PM
Craig Forsyth says:
I’d managed to reach the coast before they caught up with me.
April 11, 2014 — 12:21 PM
Anna Lewis says:
As the cell door clanged shut behind Zack and he saw the rat foraging through the musty pile of straw by the wall, he came to the conclusion that this morning might have been a bad time to visit the tavern.
April 11, 2014 — 12:22 PM
petewoodworth says:
“Mom,” Jeremy yelled, kicking the hatch shut while reloading his chrono-machete, “we’ve got Hitlers again.”
April 11, 2014 — 12:23 PM
petewoodworth says:
Oops. For some reason it wasn’t displaying my first entry, so I thought it hadn’t gone through. My bad. Please disregard.
Stupid Hitlers. 🙂
April 11, 2014 — 12:25 PM
Jules says:
I really love this. There are so many possibilities inherent, regarding genre, time period, tone, EVERYthing! Very interesting!
April 11, 2014 — 12:54 PM
Jane says:
Excellent!
April 11, 2014 — 2:31 PM
allsnjill says:
This sounds fun!
April 11, 2014 — 3:02 PM
thomaspierson says:
Filled with great possibilities.
April 11, 2014 — 5:51 PM
mangacat201 says:
I wanna see that happen in more words than those!
April 12, 2014 — 2:25 AM
Silver James says:
Choices are the hinges on the door of Destiny and Fate is the bitch who slammed that door in my face.
April 11, 2014 — 12:23 PM
Rick Cook Jr says:
I like how this one starts off elegant and poignant, and then goes right to an inelegant gut punch.
April 11, 2014 — 1:08 PM
Silver James says:
Thanks, Rick! You made my afternoon. 🙂
April 11, 2014 — 5:48 PM
Silver James says:
Thank you. 🙂
April 11, 2014 — 6:35 PM
marlanesque says:
He closed the book and slid it across the counter to the seller. “If I wanted to read my life story I’d have written it myself.”
April 11, 2014 — 12:29 PM
Beth Bishop says:
Most people don’t notice their souls, until they go missing.
April 11, 2014 — 12:30 PM
Jules says:
Good one, has a lot of possibility 🙂
April 11, 2014 — 12:57 PM
allsnjill says:
Very intriguing idea of a soul going missing. I’d read more!
April 11, 2014 — 3:02 PM
Justin Peniston says:
Yes, this is good. No way to avoid continuing…unless that’s all we get.
April 12, 2014 — 5:49 PM
Mark Gardner says:
The scene below amused Liao, but he knew the world would never recover from what he considered fortuitous luck and he had a hard time hiding his smile.
April 11, 2014 — 12:36 PM
Jessica says:
Mama’s giving me a migraine again, what with her lecturing and whining and begging to be let out.
April 11, 2014 — 12:40 PM
Suzanne Purvis says:
Summer Vacation Rule Number One: if you’re trying to save the planet, don’t use left-over Easter egg dye as hair color.
April 11, 2014 — 12:44 PM