Saw some toolbag “horror author” this morning on my FB feed post this thing about how some WOMEN IN HORROR group is advertising itself using an image of a vampire woman (replete with fangs) licking blood from her lips.
And said toolbag whipped up an image that put this banner image next to the anatomical image of a woman’s vagina and from there proceeded to explain how it was silly for this feminist group to advertise their efforts using what was effectively a woman’s ladyparts. He also explained that women paint their lips red in order to simulate flushed labia. Translation: he sees every woman’s mouth as a place for him to, erm, stick it.
In the comments, which were a delightful circus act of dipshittery, he went on to explain that OH IT’S OKAY because he took a writing class taught by a lesbian once (why is it that lesbians are the token “black friends” of misogynists everywhere?) and he was the only man in that class and it was cool to have to defend the male gender from all their misinformation.
I don’t have much to say here except, goddamn. What the fuck is wrong with people?
I want to excise all this toxic stuff out of genre. Because most genre authors are awesome.
And this was decidedly not awesome.
And we wonder why women don’t feel welcome at the table.
change it up editing says:
Amen!
February 12, 2014 — 9:51 AM
Yvonne Hertzberger says:
Thanks for being in our corner. Well said.
February 12, 2014 — 9:52 AM
G says:
I feel snubbed, I think I did a great job of making fun of him, yet no mention of my efforts. I spent a lot of time on them!
February 12, 2014 — 9:53 AM
smithster says:
Doing better than me – the last one I got so mad at I didn’t trust myself to be coherent in the comments lol.
February 12, 2014 — 9:58 AM
G says:
It was a way to waste a morning alright.
February 12, 2014 — 10:23 AM
smithster says:
I love when you rant 8)
::popcorn::
Also, yes. And like it matters whether the image is sexualized. Perhaps, dear Douchebag, your interpretation of the image said more about you than it did about the people using it.
February 12, 2014 — 9:53 AM
Teresa Reasor says:
Thanks for defending women everywhere. Writers or not.
February 12, 2014 — 9:54 AM
Jen says:
you’re awesome. that is all.
February 12, 2014 — 9:58 AM
Ingrid Foster says:
Wow, just wow…and thank you!
February 12, 2014 — 10:05 AM
Julianne Snow (@CdnZmbiRytr) says:
Thank you Chuck! Love this post!
February 12, 2014 — 10:07 AM
mckkenzie says:
As disgusting and pathetic as this is…I actually gotta laugh about his thoughts on women’s lipsticked lips. Jesus, dude….the world must be a VERY distracting place for you.
February 12, 2014 — 10:09 AM
Tricia Ballad says:
Sorry Chuck, but you’re wrong on this one. As a genre writer of the feminine persuasion, I have to say that guys like this don’t make me feel unwelcome at the table, because we sit at two very different tables – kind of like the grown-up table and the kids’ table at Thanksgiving. People – of either gender – who have the time to obsess over this nonsense are sitting at the kids’ table. The rest of us are too busy creating really amazing stuff. I’ll tell you a secret that I learned back in college: Guys like this are out-of-their-minds terrified of women like me. Because I’m smarter than they are, I’m better at what I do, and I’m not afraid of them. They’re irrelevant. They know it, I know it, and they know I know it. Moving on….
February 12, 2014 — 10:16 AM
pmillhouse says:
You ROCK, Mr. Wendig!!!
Oh, and did you catch that NPR post about romance writers yesterday?
I mean, seriously people!!
February 12, 2014 — 10:17 AM
smithster says:
oh god…do I dare? : /
February 12, 2014 — 10:20 AM
terribleminds says:
Link?
February 12, 2014 — 10:30 AM
Denise McInerney says:
http://kbia.org/post/romance-novels-sweep-readers-their-feet-predictability
February 12, 2014 — 1:54 PM
Maree Anderson says:
Ohmygawd. Especially fond of this little gem: “BARRON: Yeah. Well, I mean, one thing that you have to understand if you’re going to get into writing romance is that the things that are valued in that genre are not the same things that are valued when we read something like literary fiction. So you’re going to want to hone your pros until it’s extremely clear it’s very, very fast, the dialogue is funny and the plots are really engaging.”
I’m off to open up my wip and “hone my pros” now….
February 12, 2014 — 3:34 PM
Maree Anderson says:
Oh no. Just read on a bit. Now we’re talking about the “heroin”:
“But you also have to keep in mind that you don’t have total freedom when it comes to your main character, and that’s your heroin.”
*headdesk*
February 12, 2014 — 3:36 PM
Carl Sinclair says:
He sounds like a dick to me.
I’m not being funny… but what kinda vagina’s has he been looking at… cause…. yeah….
February 12, 2014 — 10:23 AM
Ruth Dupre says:
I’ve heard this before, and yeah, it makes the world a hard place to live in. 😉
February 12, 2014 — 10:24 AM
H. B. Bolton (@H_B_Bolton) says:
Interesting. Here I had thought I applied lipstick so as to moisten my lips and add color to my face.
Thanks for setting that moron straight 🙂
February 12, 2014 — 10:25 AM
Jenny Knox says:
Clearly I’ve been using lipstick wrong all these years, too. Huh.
February 12, 2014 — 10:31 AM
Nikki says:
Ive been a fan for quite some time. But I must say–a writer who has strong, dynamic female protagonists AND blogs smartly about womens issues?!? I like you so much more now. 🙂 Informed, smart, non-patronizing male perspective on sexism is so rare. What a breath of fresh air!!
February 12, 2014 — 10:28 AM
Rena says:
Thank you.
February 12, 2014 — 10:31 AM
Teddy Fuhringer says:
I frequently find myself being ashamed to be a man these days. I mean that in a rational way, not in a putting myself down way. I’ve always maintained, and will continue to maintain, that we men are the only ones who can affect said dipshittery. If a man knew that he’d be censured or laughed at or rejected by his male peers for talking like that, it would happen a hell of a lot less. But we stand around looking embarrassed and don’t speak up and so bullshit like this continues to spread. It’s reduced the size of my friend circle, but now when I see misogeny I speak up, and make sure the dipshit’s embarrassed as fuck.
Any man who denigrates a woman is no man. If more men realized this, the world would be a better place.
February 12, 2014 — 10:32 AM
Roh says:
Thanks
February 12, 2014 — 12:01 PM
Anastasia McPherson says:
Teddy
Btw, my grandfather’s and son’s name. But misogyny isn’t the only place where people of good will are afraid to speak up and out. Racism and homophobia are obvious examples but there are many others. Just what is it about people spouting nonsense and hatred that makes it so difficult to challenge them?
I’ve asked myself why before now and try to make a concerted effort not to let mean people bully me into silence, but boy, sometimes it’s easier than others. So thanks to both you and Chuck for trying because you’re right….other men need to help affect this change. Not to state the obvious, but it isn’t just stuff like this that is a problem. Women aren’t physically safe in this world and I can’t help but think there is a thorough way between this and violence for some people.
Chuck, I love Miriam and have read her with joy rather than analysis, but I should have put it together that her creator likes women. Call me dense, go ahead. I want lessons in kicking a** from Miriam. It’s crossed my mind that if more of us could back up our objections physically there might be less of a lot of silliness like this.
And I like many of you have been confused about my lips and my lipstick for lo these many years. If this trash bio-anthropology were true then men shouldn’t have lips. Same with the men are unfaithful because they can impregnate dozens of women in the time of a standard pregnancy. If we were really designed for no pair bonding and no monogamy then the birth ratio wouldn’t be one to one, but roughly one to ten. Sorry to go off on a tangent, but I hear the lips thing,the not designed for pair bonding thing and the breasts are misplaced anatomical butts as a set piece pretty often. It would be funny if it wasn’t being taught as unassailable science.
February 12, 2014 — 10:21 PM
Patrick says:
1. Right on, man! Fight the patriarchy!
2. New favorite word: dipshittery.
February 12, 2014 — 10:42 AM
C. Brian Hickey says:
DO THESE PEOPLE NOT HAVE MOMS? Or, like, sisters?
February 12, 2014 — 10:43 AM
Laura W. says:
It must have been real distracting for this guy when his mom put on lipstick…
February 12, 2014 — 8:23 PM
MonaKarel says:
And if a woman DARES to speak out all too often she’s branded as anti feminine. Just yesterday, a friend with an androgynous name was labeled “male” because she has strong opinions. By a woman who should know better. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemies. THANK YOU for speaking out, on this and other things that matter.
February 12, 2014 — 10:52 AM
Robyn LaRue says:
Thank you for this.
February 12, 2014 — 10:52 AM
Tonia Brown says:
There is some confused notion that you can’t be sexy and anti-sexist at the same time. That once you label yourself as “feminist” you automatically become “asexual.”
I saw the image first hand, and was familiar with the logo before he added the vaginal comparison pic. It was a childish stretch of his rotten imagination. I, as an owner of a vagina, never saw a vagina in the logo. He, desirous of a vagina, saw one.
I think he is just pissed off because the clit in the image was bigger than his.
As a woman in horror I am bringing sexy back. Which is easy, cause it never left.
Bow-chicka-bow-wow!
February 12, 2014 — 11:05 AM
smithster says:
that’s exactly it – female sensuality and sexuality are not demeaning or disempowering, they’re part of who we are. To be sexy should in no way mean we cannot be smart, funny, creative, driven, successful, etc, and neither should it detract from those things. Any part of female empowerment is going to have to include sexual empowerment because there simply is no way to separate ourselves from our sexuality. Different aspects of self can be more important at different times, for sure – but to demand it be excised is self defeating.
February 12, 2014 — 11:19 AM
KVeldman says:
Strong women are sexy.
Smart women are sexy.
Successful women are sexy.
Moral of the story, feminism is sexy.
Any man who disagrees… well, you’re missing out.
February 12, 2014 — 3:33 PM
Teddy Fuhringer says:
Agreed 100%
February 12, 2014 — 3:34 PM
Carmen Piranha says:
Men have lips, too. I don’t do FB, so would someone go point that out and tell him what a shameless hussy he is?
February 12, 2014 — 11:13 AM
Marc Cabot says:
Some people need more to do. If you have time to go looking for fanged vaginas everywhere and mansplain to women’s groups why they are Doing It Wrong, you DEFINITELY need more to do. That, and/or some high-caliber psychiatric help.
Further, deponent sayeth not.
February 12, 2014 — 11:14 AM
G says:
It was his second post on the matter, no less.
February 12, 2014 — 11:16 AM
Stephen McClurg says:
Sounds like a mash-up of Desmond Morris’s work in _The Naked Ape_ and a Freudian reading (I can’t remember if it was written by Freud or not) of vampire symbology. As Tonia Brown suggested, sounds like a childish misreading.
February 12, 2014 — 11:27 AM
Nancy says:
You continue to amaze…. thanks for this blog. As always …..
February 12, 2014 — 11:34 AM
Pretty darn questionable Andrews says:
To give this thread a little more “tooth” I’d like to ask why the marketplace can’t excise or exorcise (no mention on incisor, please) these “blood suckers” out of the genre pool? If everyone stopped buying the drek, wouldn’t it flush itself like a modern urinal? Is this the exercise we should be contemplating.
It seems to me (what do I know, except that the last time I checked -I still had the suggestion of a pulse) that there more folks rail the more we seem to get exposed. For all of us- too much sun can be harmful. I suspect the same could be the case for too much bad writing. No?
Once upon a time…. I’d hoped that buying good writing might encourage good writing. In recent years I’ve staked my purchasing more and more on reviews just to winnow out books that should never have been “published.” I am the first to admit that my attempts at writing are sophomoric (and I was a sophomore close to four decades ago) but at least I know how to run spell check, see that POV is consistent, and look for missing punctuation— IF I’m going to try to “win” a rejection letter.
As for lipstick and color and secret messages…. when one puts bright red lipstick on a pig… I just see lipstick on a pig. It’s still a pig I won’t purchase.
February 12, 2014 — 11:39 AM
Marie says:
Yeah, he’s a d-bag and, yeah, if I’d seen that it would have made me mad and, yeah, it makes women (including me) feel uncomfortable at the table. BUT, if idiots are thinking it, I’d rather they express and get the beat down. Right or wrong, it’s going to take good men like you stepping up and delivering the whomp upside the head to get rid of this stuff (most of it–nasty never really disappears).
A while back I read a Robert Krulwich article about the importance of older generations of animals to teach the young the right way. One example given was elephants. The older elephants tend to be culled because they’re thought to be past their usefulness. But, turns out, when young male elephants are left to their own devices, they get violent. When older male elephants were introduced into the youngsters midst, they smacked those rogue younguns around and got them in line.
Not that I’m saying you’re old, Chuck…
February 12, 2014 — 11:43 AM
Teddy Fuhringer says:
Exactly!
February 12, 2014 — 11:44 AM
ardenrr says:
A little off topic but I saw this yesterday and this post reminded me of it:
http://i.imgur.com/nu2Mipb.jpg
GRRM for the win….
February 12, 2014 — 11:56 AM
Wendy Christopher says:
Thanks for the support, Chuck, as always. 🙂
So… this guy sees women’s lips with fangs and instantly thinks ‘vagina?’ Wow, he must be REALLY scared of Doing The Sexy Thing with a real live woman then! Or maybe he just needs an eye test… and a brain transplant… Maybe the reason he’s a “horror author” is nothing to do with the actual GENRE he writes in…
Okay, I’ll stop virt-slapping him now, ‘cos it’s too easy anyway. 🙂 I’m just glad there are people like you around, Chuck, to balance him and his kind out. This is why I tend to stay away from Reddit… that’s just blimmin’ depressing sometimes…
February 12, 2014 — 12:00 PM
Amy says:
You realize that, if you’re female and you comment on the pompous windbag I’ve never heard of’s thread, you’re giving him what he so desperately wants — a woman to talk to him. Just leave it. Who cares what he thinks or writes? Oh, and my two C-section-born kids weren’t pushed out of anything, so he doesn’t even have THAT part right, 😉
February 12, 2014 — 12:15 PM
wysewomon says:
*headdesk*
That’s all.
February 12, 2014 — 12:29 PM
Patrick says:
Totally not defending this douchebag but the idea of red lipstick equating to swollen vulva is not really his thing – Poppy King said that same thing, as have several sexologists. So really, his outrageous statement isn’t even an original one and he was probably just trying to seem cool and erudite. This is what happens when you take one course in feminism and assume you know everything about women, I guess. I have a wife and 3 daughters, and really the only concrete thing I have learned about women from that is that 4 women in the house means you should buy stock in toilet paper manufacturers because you are gonna be buying a lot of it.
February 12, 2014 — 12:36 PM
Alix says:
cheers! I always appreciate your posts so I purchased The Kick-Ass Writer today, looking forward to reading it.
February 12, 2014 — 12:49 PM
Mercedes M. Yardley says:
Chuck, thank you. I saw that this morning and just…ugh. Glad to know that my decision to wear red lipstick is because I want some man bits shoved in my face. It has nothing to do with personal decision and confidence and because I think the color is pretty.
Does he think I’m inviting rape? That’s the first thing that comes to mind. And now I’m unsettled, unhappy and find myself looking over my shoulder more than ever.
February 12, 2014 — 1:16 PM
terribleminds says:
Yes, I find that his post is basically an intimation of the rape culture so many men seem to believe doesn’t exist.
February 12, 2014 — 1:20 PM
Mercedes M. Yardley says:
I can understand how people don’t want to believe it exists. But yes. It definitely exists.
February 12, 2014 — 2:04 PM
Teddy Fuhringer says:
Oh it exists. And those of us men who know it does, need to do everything we can to let other men know how unacceptable it is. The more we speak up, the better.
February 12, 2014 — 3:37 PM
Mercedes M. Yardley says:
Teddy, it’s a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation. It irks me that women are being difficult if we stand up for ourselves, and it takes a man standing up to make anybody listen. So you gentlemen often get flack for staying quiet and letting women empower ourselves by defending ourselves, or you’re accused of demeaning us by standing up for us.
Either way, most men are wonderful and are nothing like this whack-a-douche. And you’re appreciated. 🙂
February 18, 2014 — 1:52 PM
Teddy Fuhringer says:
That’s good to know. Thank you Mercedes. As thankless as societal disapproval can be, I’m sticking with it, because I think it’s the solution to many problems, including this one.
February 18, 2014 — 4:15 PM
Moonshine Meret says:
Chuck, you should check out this short film. It shows what would happen if men were treated the way that women are treated. It’s really powerful, and only a couple of minutes. Thanks for reppin’ the ladies!! http://www.upworthy.com/a-french-film-showing-men-what-being-a-woman-feels-like-kinda?g=2&c=reccon1
February 12, 2014 — 1:51 PM
mckkenzie says:
Wow…upsetting…but right on.
February 12, 2014 — 2:24 PM
Maree Anderson says:
Wow. Very simple concept but really powerful message. Made me cry. And you bet I’ll be showing it to my teens.
February 12, 2014 — 3:40 PM
chloeroberts93 says:
Well, perhaps this is why genre fiction can “suck”? I wrote a post on my blog about sex in fiction and my blog is here – do look at it! http://theartofwritingfiction.wordpress.com/
February 12, 2014 — 2:26 PM
Ensis says:
Women shouldn’t be writing horror because they should be too busy in the kitchen, cooking babies and giving birth to dinner!
Wait, got my misogyny a little mixed up there.
Seriously, though–there’s no reason to engage people like this on an intellectual level–it only validates them.
February 12, 2014 — 2:28 PM
1klmercer says:
I don’t ever wear RED lipstick as I think it looks awful on me. I tend to stick with beige-ish, or maybe the occasional coral. What does this say about me? Is there some sort of chart for interpreting the symbolism behind my lip color, like for mood rings? Or maybe a Cosmo quiz?
February 12, 2014 — 2:36 PM
Michelle says:
Awwwwwww Chuck, you’re awesome. Thank you.
February 12, 2014 — 3:23 PM
Ania Ahlborn says:
As a “woman in horror”, I don’t even bat an eye at stuff like this. And I don’t think any other ladies should, either. Don’t feel welcome at the table? Fuck that. I OWN the table. Picked it out myself. 😉
February 12, 2014 — 3:35 PM
Chanti says:
I just found his post. This guy ‘was’ actually a facebook friend of mine. The vagina thing wasn’t even the most demeaning thing he said. It got worse. (FYI: don’t lick your lips… you will stimulate ejaculation in your mouth, I’m told)
His little friends chimed into and started comparing women to porn stars and saying we all used our sexuality to get ahead, or something like that. I wasn’t aware I had to put a picture of my bosom on the back of my book covers… If only someone had told me.
So if my lips are a vagina… his must be an anus, because there is nothing but shit pouring out. Please save me from men who use Snookie and random porn characters as female role models, and then liken us to them. I should laugh really… it’s so said, it’s kind of funny.
I hope that one day we won’t have to deal with crap like this. And that one day we won’t need female horror month, because us chicks will get the same kind of love, and won’t be put in the ‘romance section’ just because we lack a ‘Willy Wonka’. Then remarks from guys like these won’t even be a blip on our radars.
Thanks for sticking up for us Chuck. We need men who WILL treat us like people, and not like ‘the place to store your penis’.
February 12, 2014 — 3:50 PM
Harry Connolly says:
“The contents of my own head are objective truth because they feel true to me!” — the sad truth of too many dumb people
February 12, 2014 — 3:55 PM
Ian Rose says:
In similar facial adornment news, I wear a beard to make my face look more like a dick, not because I’m lazy or I like how it looks or because it’s cold here sometimes.
February 12, 2014 — 4:37 PM
Imelda Evans says:
Boom tish! Thanks for the laugh, Ian. Sometimes mocking is the only way not to go mad, in the face of this nonsense.
February 12, 2014 — 5:45 PM
Mary Ann Peden-Coviello says:
First, thank you, Chuck, for this post. Second, the douche-nozzle who posted the rants to Facebook reveals more about his own insecurities and lack of success than he probably intended. Furthermore, if i relied on my sex appeal to attain any level of success, I’d be a pathetic shambles.
February 12, 2014 — 5:26 PM
e m bahnsen says:
Interesting post. Hmmmmmm. Anyway, I hope to meet you on Saturday in Doylestown. I don’t live too far away. Let’s hope the bad weather has abated, the roads are cleared, and I can make it.
February 12, 2014 — 5:36 PM
Rio says:
I’m pretty sure he doesn’t understand what labia look like.
February 12, 2014 — 6:26 PM
Jen Donohue says:
Am I the only one who thinks it would actually perfectly acceptable for feminists to use a vagina for imagery? I mean, I’ve never made the vampire mouth = vagina link (and others have expounded on the issues therein….) but seriously. Now I’m giggling about vampiric vaginas and how they could totally be owned as a feminist symbol. Take that, guy on Facebook!
February 12, 2014 — 7:03 PM
Mozette says:
It’s men like this who make me feel more adament about who I am in this world. This guy thinks he knows how to portray women, when really he doesn’t. He thinks he knows what they want, when he doesn’t. And I can bet my last dollar in the bank he goes through more ‘girlfriends’ than Barney Stinson… so, really, we shouldn’t be reacting to him at all, but ignoring him so he fades away from this world, reporting him to Facebook so his account is shut down (until he grows up and realises he’s insulted more than enough people around the globe). And just get on with out lives without him.
Hey, we did it before we knew he was around, right? 🙂
Okay… what else is there to look at on FB… hey look! There’s that shitfunny cat scared of a windscreen wiper! 😛
February 12, 2014 — 7:13 PM