Apple-Obsessed Author Fella

Worldcon/LoneStarCon: My Schedule

[Updated 8/26/13]

Ahoy-hoy!

For those of you descending upon the heat-vapor planes of San Antonio to visit the vaunted Worldcon by way of LoneStarCon, here is my schedule (which is subject to change):

Wednesday

In which I penetrate San Antonio’s defenses and destroy the shield generators so I may land my ship, abscond with the Helm of Gaiman, and hide under the river until the coast is clear. Or something. Translation: I ARRIVE, AND THE CITY TREMBLES.

Thursday

Right now, I got nuffin’.

Friday

10:00AM till 10:45AM, Abaddon Publisher Spotlight, whereupon I join my hellish overlords in the Solaris Abaddon crew and talk about, you know, books and stuff.

11:00AM till noon PM: Kaffeeklatsch with Me, Lee Harris, and Charles Radley. I think Kaffeeklatsch is a German word meaning “crowbar fight.” So, bring your own crowbar. Or if we want to play it nice we can instead just sit and have coffee and talk about Authorial Things.

2pm till Wuzza Wooza: “Meet Chuck Wendig” at the Reddit Fan Table where I’ll be doing what? A Pop-up AMA? A reading? AN INTERPRETIVE DANCE? Come find out!

Saturday

Noon till 1pm: Signing in Dealer’s Room at Crime & Space Books. This should be the island immediately on the left as you enter the dealer’s room, or so I’m told.

3:00PM till 4:00PM, Angry Robot Publisher Spotlight, whereupon my cranky clanking masters talk about their books and authors of past, present, and future.

4pm till ???: NINJA BOOK SIGNING WITH KEVIN HEARNE, whereupon Kevin and I will plant ourselves in the bar or lobby and we will talk to fans and sign books and we’ll twerk and Thunderdome and draw kittens and basically clown around in whatever way you so desire.

7PM till We Find Ourselves Vomiting In A Cow Pasture AM: Drinks With Authors, a party put forth by author Myke Cole and some of the Reddit folks with the goal of being inclusionary, not exclusionary — meaning, open to all, come by, hang out with a freakishly exhaustive author guest list, get books signed, drink booze, drink more booze, wrestle Sam Sykes, whatever. Come out. We’ll have a few laughs.

Sunday

3:00 till 4:00PM: YA Fantasy Panel, subtitled “We’ll Always Be Young At Heart,” featuring me, Martha Wells, Emily Jiang, and Aurora Celeste.

5:00 till 6:00PM: 40 Years Of Campbell Awards Panel, featuring me, Ben Bova, Mur Lafferty, Stina Leicht, and Max Gladstone.

7:30PM till It’s Over o’clock, The Hugo Awards, in which I am reportedly nominated for a Campbell? As I do not expect to win, I’ve no speech planned, but I will dress in a snazzy suit.

Monday

Having claimed the Helm of Gaiman and beaten back my foes, I take off in my Whipwheel Ornithopter and once more navigate hostile airspace to return to the comforts of Pennsyltucky.

Signings?

I’ve had folks ask me about signings. LoneStarCon gave me one but it was at the ass-end of Monday which is a) a horrible time for a signing because everyone will be gone and b) doesn’t matter anyway because I’ll be gone at that point. (They also had me on another panel that day.)

At present, I’m noodling ways to do a ninja signing and/or reading. WATCH THE SKIES.

I was also originally on a panel about fanzines transitioning to the Internet, which is a subject I have very little experience (or interest) in. Further, that panel had no women on it, so I asked for them to take me off that panel and put a woman on. Hopefully they complied!

So many great writers gonna be at this thing. Friends like Adam Christopher, John Hornor Jacobs, Emma Newman, Mur Lafferty, Myke Cole, Andrea Phillips. Folks I haven’t yet met but have long wanted to, like Kevin Hearne, Sam Sykes, Robert Bennett, Betsy Dornbusch. Plus some legends, too. Robin Hobb! Joe Lansdale! Authors who have been instrumental in inspiring me to do this writer thang.

Anyway!

Please come say “hi” if you’re gonna be there!

Do not be afraid.

I will not bite, at least as long as nobody slipped me bath salts (again).

And if I do, I will transmit the Wendigo virus to you.

Which is really harmless, except for the mad hunger you’ll have for other people’s hearts.

I’ll probably be at the bar.