{"id":9293,"date":"2011-06-13T16:06:11","date_gmt":"2011-06-13T20:06:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/?p=9293"},"modified":"2011-06-14T19:23:22","modified_gmt":"2011-06-14T23:23:22","slug":"its-time-to-make-it-rain-bitches","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/2011\/06\/13\/its-time-to-make-it-rain-bitches\/","title":{"rendered":"It’s Time To Make It Rain, Bitches"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>This one’s pretty easy.<\/p>\n

I just crossed the 4,000 Twitter follower mark, which is pretty cool. I mean, sure, 3,465 of them are insane Twitter robots who are trying to sell me porn, iPads, real estate, and baby formula…<\/p>\n

…but whatever it takes to feed my manic hunger for adoration.<\/em><\/p>\n

*gibber, howl, snargh*
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

As such, I want to give you a copy of CONFESSIONS OF A FREELANCE PENMONKEY<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

I’m going to give away 10 copies in PDF, Kindle, or Nook format.<\/p>\n

How it works is like this: you have 24 hours (till 4pm EST on 6\/14\/11) to drop a comment into the comments below. What should go into this comment, you ask?<\/p>\n

Your favorite word of profanity, and a short description as to why that might be. I figure this is entirely reasonable, given how sodden with wretched language CONFESSIONS<\/strong> happens to be. One assumes that if you’re not comfortable dropping some language yourself, you won’t be comfortable reading through CONFESSIONS<\/strong>. And besides, who doesn’t love a little cussin’?<\/p>\n

At 4pm I’ll come back to this post and pick my ten favorite answers. Those folks get a copy of the book.<\/p>\n

Jump in. Get to cursing. Get creative. And please to enjoy.<\/p>\n

EDIT:<\/p>\n

THE WINNERS:<\/p>\n

Tamsyn: \u201cBollocks!\u201d Description made me laugh.<\/p>\n

Caytlin: \u201cShitting Dicknipples,\u201d because that sounds like a bad high school teacher\u2019s name.<\/p>\n

Kara: \u201cTwat.\u201d Calling it \u201ccunt\u2019s classy cousin\u201d is pretty genius.<\/p>\n

Penrefe: \u201cDick.\u201d Simple. A classic.<\/p>\n

Joanna: \u201cImperial Fuckton.\u201d Like something out of a filthy version of Star Wars.<\/p>\n

Antimony: \u201cDhallar.\u201d Because now we all can learn something, too.<\/p>\n

Patrick Regan: \u201cFlaming Thunder-cunt.\u201d Because, how mythic.<\/p>\n

Emily B: \u201cThroatfuck.\u201d Because that one\u2019s new to me.<\/p>\n

Sarah: \u201cCock Holster.\u201d It\u2019s really so elegant.<\/p>\n

Spomenka: \u201cSlattern.\u201d Why not go old-school?<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s our ten, folks.<\/p>\n

It was a tough choice. Be on notice. Really enjoyed roadwhore, cuntblocker, twatwaffle. So many good ones. But these are the ones that spoke to me in the cockles of my heart.<\/p>\n

YOU TEN PEOPLE:<\/p>\n

Hit me up either using the Contact Form above or at chuckwendig [at] terribleminds [dot] com and I\u2019ll get you squared away with a copy of PENMONKEY.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I want to give you a copy of CONFESSIONS OF A FREELANCE PENMONKEY.How it works is like this: you have 24 hours (till 4pm EST on 6\/14\/11) to drop a comment into the comments below. What should go into this comment, you ask? Your favorite word of profanity, and a short description as to why that might be.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-9293","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"hentry","6":"category-theramble","8":"no-featured-image"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pv7MR-2pT","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9293","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9293"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9293\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9300,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9293\/revisions\/9300"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9293"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9293"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9293"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}