{"id":9207,"date":"2011-06-09T00:01:46","date_gmt":"2011-06-09T04:01:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/?p=9207"},"modified":"2011-06-09T07:00:43","modified_gmt":"2011-06-09T11:00:43","slug":"blinking-neon-thursday-vacancy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/2011\/06\/09\/blinking-neon-thursday-vacancy\/","title":{"rendered":"Blinking Neon: Thursday Vacancy"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm4.static.flickr.com\/3519\/3744800068_15af568376_z.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm4.static.flickr.com\/3519\/3744800068_15af568376_z.jpg?resize=640%2C480\" alt=\"\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve decided that, whenever possible, I&#8217;m going to take Thursdays off.<\/p>\n<p>I know what you&#8217;re saying:<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Buh-buh-buh! But I am <em>addicted <\/em>to <strong>terribleminds<\/strong>. Every day I come here, I nibble open an artery with my bitey teeth, and I jack your sweet-ass motherfucking bloggery straight into my main vein.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>To which I respond: &#8220;Main vein is a euphemism for a <em>penis<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And you say: &#8220;I knew that.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And I&#8217;m all like, &#8220;I bet you didn&#8217;t.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>And you&#8217;re like, &#8220;Nuh-uh!&#8221; And then you spit up on yourself and poop your pants.<\/p>\n<p>No, no, wait, that&#8217;s my newborn son. Which is part of why I&#8217;m taking some Thursdays off. Except, here&#8217;s the thing: I won&#8217;t leave you with a vacancy of content. I just can&#8217;t do that. I <em>won&#8217;t<\/em> do that to you. I&#8217;m not that cruel. My swollen deception-filled ego reminds me with whispered lies that without your daily dose of <strong>terribleminds<\/strong>, you will perish from grief. Your heart will be torn asunder like a notebook page ripped in half by angry pinching fingers. (Just shut up and let me pretend, goddamnit.)<\/p>\n<p>I am thus opening up Thursdays to others, should they choose to fill its space. I&#8217;ve got a couple of great guest blogs that still need to go up, so you can look for those on upcoming Thursdays.<\/p>\n<p>But I&#8217;ll take more. I&#8217;d love posts from other storytellers, creative types, writers, what-have-you. I don&#8217;t necessarily believe that posts can or should always be about writing, though certainly that&#8217;s a fine theme if you feel you&#8217;ve got something to bring to the table. Really, though, the floor is yours, the forum is open.<\/p>\n<p>I can&#8217;t offer much by way of payment, and though this site does get a fair share of looky-loos these days, I don&#8217;t how how meaningful &#8220;exposure&#8221; is.<\/p>\n<p>I will say you&#8217;re free to cross-post.<\/p>\n<p>You can definitely use the post to pimp your work.<\/p>\n<p>And if you don&#8217;t already have it, I&#8217;ll toss you a copy of IRREGULAR CREATURES or CONFESSIONS OF A FREELANCE PENMONKEY in whatever e-book format you desire.<\/p>\n<p>Also: if you&#8217;re not down with a guest post, feel free on offering yourself up on the altar of sacr&#8230; I mean, the altar of interviewing. I&#8217;d love to interview some smart storytellin&#8217; folks about all kinds of shit.<\/p>\n<p>On those days I don&#8217;t have a guest post, I&#8217;ll still charge in here and fill the void with my ceaseless jabbering and meandering waffle. Worry not, sad-faced sproglings.<\/p>\n<p>So, if you&#8217;re in, well, you have to let me know. Drop a note in the comments or hit me up in the contact form. Don&#8217;t be shy. Creators gotta create, gotta put themselves out there. Invite yourselves. Be bold. Proactive. Waggle your genitals at the world and say, &#8220;<em>Gaze upon my magnificence<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>(A caveat: I&#8217;m not going to automatically publish whatever comes across my doorstep. I need to know what kind of guest post you want to write, and why I should give it space.)<\/p>\n<p>This is an experiment, so let&#8217;s see how it goes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I am thus opening up Thursdays to others, should they choose to fill its space. I&#8217;ve got a couple of great guest blogs that still need to go up, so you can look for those on upcoming Thursdays.  I&#8217;d love posts from other storytellers, creative types, writers, what-have-you. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[40,30],"class_list":{"0":"post-9207","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"hentry","6":"category-theramble","7":"tag-guest","8":"tag-terribleminds","10":"no-featured-image"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pv7MR-2ov","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9207","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9207"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9207\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9231,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9207\/revisions\/9231"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9207"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9207"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9207"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}