{"id":65039,"date":"2026-03-28T14:59:17","date_gmt":"2026-03-28T18:59:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/?p=65039"},"modified":"2026-03-28T14:59:17","modified_gmt":"2026-03-28T18:59:17","slug":"cheap-evil-apple-alert-black-river-orchard","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/2026\/03\/28\/cheap-evil-apple-alert-black-river-orchard\/","title":{"rendered":"Cheap Evil Apple Alert: Black River Orchard"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

If you like <\/p>\n\n\n\n

a) apple agriculture b) suburban folk horror c) cults<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then boy howdy do I have a book for you — Black River Orchard<\/strong> is just shy of two bucks<\/em> on your favorite electromagic bookreaderplatformbuyer, which is to say, “wherever you buy your e-books.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That means: Bookshop<\/a>, Kobo<\/a>, Amazon<\/a>, B&N<\/a>, Apple<\/a>, etc<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s a book I’m quite proud of! So go try it out if you haven’t. Tell everyone. *cue Gary Oldman in The Professional* EVVVVERRRRYOOOONNNNE<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also a reminder that The Staircase in the Woods<\/strong> is out in paperback now, and The Calamities<\/strong> launches in August, and you can preorder at Doylestown Bookshop<\/a> for a bunch of goodies and unique personalizations where I personally name your DEMONIC PROGENITOR allllll for you, Damien. All for you. I’m working with an artist whose name might rhyme with Matalie Netzger to do some more cool sticker art stuff too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh! And if you haven’t seen the Calamities cover under<\/em> the cover…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Okay love most of you, bye!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If you like a) apple agriculture b) suburban folk horror c) cults Then boy howdy do I have a book for you — Black River Orchard is just shy of two bucks on your favorite electromagic bookreaderplatformbuyer, which is to say, “wherever you buy your e-books.” That means: Bookshop, Kobo, Amazon, B&N, Apple, etc It’s […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":65040,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-65039","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","6":"hentry","7":"category-theramble","9":"has-featured-image"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/image-7.png?fit=1200%2C630&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pv7MR-gV1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65039","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=65039"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65039\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":65044,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/65039\/revisions\/65044"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/65040"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=65039"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=65039"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=65039"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}