{"id":62271,"date":"2025-10-22T08:44:34","date_gmt":"2025-10-22T12:44:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/?p=62271"},"modified":"2025-10-22T08:52:36","modified_gmt":"2025-10-22T12:52:36","slug":"apple-review-22-mutsu","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/2025\/10\/22\/apple-review-22-mutsu\/","title":{"rendered":"Apple Review #22: Mutsu"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Expectations are poisonous. I believe that. I think our experiences can be colored by our expectations that precede that experience. I don’t think we can help it, necessarily — a lot of our lives are preloaded with information before we ever get to submit to a given experience. Movie previews, book reviews, comments from friends, previous experiences with similar things, and so forth. Still — there’s nothing like going in blind. I love knowing almost nothing about a book or a movie before I sit down and take the ride. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I like that too when I’m about to eat an apple. Unfortunately, this time, I didn’t get that — I actually had some pre-installed expectations because I’ve had a lot of people over the years tell me they want me to review this apple: the Mutsu, a Japanese apple also called the Crispin. They have routinely expressed that it’s their favorite, that I need to review it or they will hunt me with bow and arrow in the woods, the dark dark woods. Maybe nobody said that to me. I have vigorous dreams, so maybe it was one of those. But people have asked, and so I got me one of these big-ass green-ass apple-boys, and so, I went in thinking, okay, this is going to be something<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Was it? Was it something?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My review of a Mutsu apple from Manoff Orchard (PA), late-Oct<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It absolutely was something! In the sense that, sometimes a thing happens and it’s weird or fine and you sarcastically say to your cohort standing nearby, “Well, that<\/em> was something.” This apple was that. It sure was something<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s huge, I can say that much up front. It’s an apple with its own gravity. It’s own atmosphere<\/em>. And it is very, very green — it’s the green of not a green apple but a candy’s idea of a green apple. My apple (which you can see me eat here<\/a>) had a scar on it, like it was in a bar fight. Pretty sure on the other side of the apple was an eyepatch and a tattoo of his apple mother.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I say now, I’m sorry. I’m sorry! For those who wanted me to review this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m genuinely sorry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I did not love this apple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I started eating it and felt, okay, this is a six out of ten, probably, but as I kept eating it, the score kept dropping and dropping.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s juicy, so that’s nice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s the size of a soccer ball, which is less nice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It has pear vibes, which I like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then it follows up with unripe green banana energy, which I do not like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s crispity-crunchity: good!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But after the juice explodes in your face and then is gone, so is the flavor, and what you’re left with is the distinct feeling of eating wood pulp: not<\/em> so good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s more sweet than tart. I’ll bet it’s a helluva baking or sauce apple. And it’s not a bad<\/em> eating apple. It’s just not a good<\/em> eating apple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sorry, Mutsu. I don’t mean to slag on you, you big beefy nuclear green lad, you giant jawbreaker, you pulpy chewy Yoda boulder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Actually, that’s a new tongue twister if you want it: PULPY CHEWY YODA BOULDER. Five times fast, get on it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’m gonna call this a 4.3 out of 10. That’s all I can give you, Mutsu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mutsu: Dim-witted Hulk-Shrek-born hellbaby, good for pie or tumbling down a sharp hill toward a fleeing archaeologist<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Reviews<\/strong> so far this year<\/strong>: Honeycrisp<\/a>, Sweetie<\/a>, Crimson Crisp<\/a>, Knobbed Russet<\/a>, Cortland<\/a>, Maiden\u2019s Blush<\/a>, Cox\u2019s Orange Pippin<\/a>, Reine des Reinettes<\/a>, Ingrid Marie<\/a>, Hudson\u2019s Golden Gem<\/a>, Holstein<\/a>, Suncrisp<\/a>, Ashmead\u2019s Kernel<\/a>, Opalescent<\/a>, Orleans Reinette<\/a>, Black Gilliflower<\/a>, Red Delicious Double Feature<\/a>, Jonathan<\/a>, Ruby Mac<\/a>, Crimson Topaz<\/a>, Esopus Spitzenburg<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Expectations are poisonous. I believe that. I think our experiences can be colored by our expectations that precede that experience. I don’t think we can help it, necessarily — a lot of our lives are preloaded with information before we ever get to submit to a given experience. Movie previews, book reviews, comments from friends, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":62273,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-62271","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","6":"hentry","7":"category-theramble","9":"has-featured-image"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/10\/IMG_8181-2-scaled.jpg?fit=2560%2C1707&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pv7MR-gcn","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62271","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=62271"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62271\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":62280,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/62271\/revisions\/62280"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/62273"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=62271"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=62271"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=62271"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}