{"id":31603,"date":"2017-11-07T08:31:14","date_gmt":"2017-11-07T13:31:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/?p=31603"},"modified":"2017-11-07T08:31:14","modified_gmt":"2017-11-07T13:31:14","slug":"jim-c-hines-space-janitors-vs-brain-weasels","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/2017\/11\/07\/jim-c-hines-space-janitors-vs-brain-weasels\/","title":{"rendered":"Jim C. Hines: Space Janitors Vs. Brain Weasels!"},"content":{"rendered":"

When Jim Hines says, “Can I write something for your blog?” you do not merely say yes, you give him the keys to the establishment and let him run the joint for as long as he likes. Behold, the result of that — as always, he’s funny and wise. Also go read Terminal Alliance<\/strong><\/span><\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

To be fair, I\u2019m pretty sure I was crazy before I started writing.*<\/p>\n

Looking back, I see swaths of my life where Depression was in full force. As a teenager in junior high school. In my middle years of undergrad. Spending a year in Elko, Nevada\u2026 with the nearest real bookstore a two-hour drive away<\/em>, in another damn state. Seriously, what the hell, Elko?<\/p>\n

It wasn\u2019t until about five years ago that I made it official. Drove to the doctor\u2019s office, marched inside, and got my Certification of Depression, complete with a prescription for Zoloft and a referral to a counselor.<\/p>\n

Writing didn\u2019t break my brain. But it certainly hasn\u2019t helped.<\/p>\n

Take those early years of constant rejection. I\u2019ve got more than five hundred rejection letters saved in a box in the basement. Other authors will tell you rejection isn\u2019t personal, that it\u2019s part of the learning process and we all go through it\u2026 I\u2019ve said those same things myself. But when you\u2019re in the pit of despair, it feels<\/em> personal. That shit can wear you down, no matter how polite the form letters might be. And then you get one from an editor saying, \u201cI liked your previous submission, but this one was so bad I can\u2019t believe it\u2019s by the same author.\u201d<\/p>\n

(I eventually sold that story to a better market. But damn\u2026)<\/p>\n

Psychiatrist Aaron Beck said depression can perpetuate itself through a trio of negative biases about the self, the world, and the future. His theory maps beautifully to the crap we go through as we\u2019re struggling to break in.<\/p>\n

The Self<\/strong>: I suck.<\/p>\n

The World<\/strong>: It\u2019s impossible to succeed unless you\u2019re famous or have connections.<\/p>\n

The Future<\/strong>: I\u2019m never going to get anywhere.<\/p>\n

Man, I\u2019m getting depressed (small d, not Depressed) just writing this. Does that qualify as \u201cShow, don\u2019t tell?\u201d<\/p>\n

Time to change things up by talking about how I\u2019m now a well-medicated and successful author with a brand-new book out about Space Janitors! I still get rejection letters, but they\u2019re rare. And I\u2019ve got 13 books in print, along with 50+ published short stories to balance things out. In a logical, rational universe, this should go a long way toward counteracting the depression.<\/p>\n

Well, screw you, universe! I\u2019m neither logical nor rational. I\u2019m a mentally ill author!<\/p>\n

Some will argue that\u2019s redundant.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s true, though. Depression is an asshole. A lying brain-weasel scurrying around in your thoughts and shitting on everything. And\u2026 writing is hard. Even when you\u2019re supposedly succeeding. The brain-weasels know how to twist things around in your head. They did a number on me with Terminal Alliance<\/em>.<\/p>\n

This was my first attempt at novel-length science fiction. I wanted humor and action and triumph and aliens that weren\u2019t just humans with a few prostheses glued to their noses. So I started the first draft\u2026<\/p>\n

Brain Weasels<\/strong>: This is crap! And we know crap\u2014we\u2019re assholes!<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: It\u2019s a first draft. It\u2019s supposed to be crap.<\/p>\n

BW<\/strong>: Then you\u2019re doing a superb job!<\/p>\n

I ended up missing my deadline by a few months as I rewrote and rewrote again, trying to make this thing as good as I could.<\/p>\n

BW<\/strong>: You missed your deadline. Ha! Loser.<\/p>\n

Me<\/strong>: Lots of authors miss deadlines. It\u2019s only a few extra months. I\u2019d rather be late with a good book than on time with a mediocre one.<\/p>\n

BW<\/strong>: You think this book is gonna be good? That\u2019s cute.<\/p>\n

And so on and so forth. Every messed-up scene, every stumbling block, every day of not meeting my goal\u2026<\/p>\n

Brain weasels, man. I hate those guys. But I\u2019ve gotten better at hearing their conniving whispers as they scheme against me, rubbing their tiny clawed fingers together and twirling their whiskers.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve talked to other writers about this stuff. I know how much the brain weasels love us. If, like me, you\u2019re already dealing with the delightful neurochemical imbalance of Depression, your brain is especially fertile ground for the little bastards. But even for you so-called \u201chealthy\u201d authors, writing offers a vast field of insecurities and rejection for the weasels to burrow in.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve learned a few things about dealing with them.<\/p>\n

Toughing it out: not the best approach.<\/strong> Imagine these are literal weasels chewing on your face. You can either acknowledge the problem and try to do something about it, or you can grit your teeth and say, \u201cI\u2019m strong enough to get through this. Chew away, you pernicious predators, you!\u201d<\/p>\n

All that does is get you a chewed-up face. Potentially great for Halloween. Not so great for the other 364 days of the year.<\/p>\n

Talk to someone. Ask for help. That could mean talking to a doctor, or it could mean Skyping an author friend to vent.<\/p>\n

Savor the good stuff.<\/strong> You finished a first draft? It\u2019s ice cream time. Sure, the first draft might be crap, but who gives a shit? You finished the damn thing, and that deserves a reward! A fan emails to tell you how much your story about a superhero with a talking tumor meant to them? That email goes into the SAVED FOR USE AGAINST BRAIN WEASELS folder to be brought out and used to pummel the brain weasels with extreme and graphic cartoon violence.<\/p>\n

Balance is important.<\/strong> My therapist talked a lot about balance in my life. She asked how often I got to just visit with friends and hang out and socialize. I laughed. It was a hysteria-tinged laugh, with too many teeth showing. I probably looked like a bald, bearded Joker. \u201cI don\u2019t have time<\/em> for balance!\u201d<\/p>\n

I still suck at this one, but I\u2019ve gotten better. And damn if it doesn\u2019t help. Sure, time away from the computer is time I\u2019m not writing\u2026but time spent enjoying myself helps me recharge, which means I\u2019m more productive when I sit down again to write.<\/p>\n

Who could have possibly predicted such a thing? My therapist is a freaking GENIUS!<\/p>\n

Remember: brain weasels lie<\/u>.<\/strong> Mine told me Terminal Alliance<\/em> was a flop, and I should have stuck with goblins and flaming spiders. Library Journal, on the other hand, gave the book a starred review. Suck on that<\/em>, weasels!<\/p>\n

::Stops to re-read the post so far::<\/p>\n

Huh. This was originally pitched as a promotional-type piece for Terminal Alliance<\/em>. I\u2019ve now written 1000+ words about depression and brain weasel maintenance. Interesting promotional tactic, Hines.<\/p>\n

So in conclusion, I\u2019ve got a book about space janitors and sex-crazed aliens that are basically giant tardigrades and translator mix-ups and evil butterfly people and the end of the world, and what happens when the rest of the crew gets taken out and the janitorial team has to fly the ship and fight the battles and save the galaxy.<\/p>\n

Ann Leckie<\/a> said it was really fun, and we all like and trust Ann, right? You can read an excerpt through my website<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Thanks for reading. Take care of yourselves. And yeah, if you get the chance, check out the new book. I think you\u2019ll enjoy it. Despite what my brain weasels say.<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n

* I recognize that some people dislike \u201ccrazy\u201d as an ableist slur, and it\u2019s not a word I\u2019d use to describe anyone else. But I use it for my own mental illness as a way to laugh, and to take away a little of that illness\u2019 power over me.<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

Jim C. Hines: Website<\/span><\/a> | Twitter<\/span><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Terminal Alliance: Indiebound<\/span><\/a> | Amazon<\/span><\/a> | B&N<\/span><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When Jim Hines says, “Can I write something for your blog?” you do not merely say yes, you give him the keys to the establishment and let him run the joint for as long as he likes. Behold, the result of that — as always, he’s funny and wise. Also go read Terminal Alliance. * […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-31603","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"hentry","6":"category-theramble","8":"no-featured-image"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pv7MR-8dJ","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31603","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31603"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31603\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31606,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31603\/revisions\/31606"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31603"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31603"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31603"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}