{"id":31393,"date":"2017-09-11T10:24:30","date_gmt":"2017-09-11T14:24:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/?p=31393"},"modified":"2017-09-11T10:24:30","modified_gmt":"2017-09-11T14:24:30","slug":"macro-monday-marks-the-mantis-mastication","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/2017\/09\/11\/macro-monday-marks-the-mantis-mastication\/","title":{"rendered":"Macro Monday Marks The Mantis Mastication"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a><\/p>\n

WELL, SOMEBODY WAS HUNGRY.<\/p>\n

I encourage you to read the sordid tale of The Mantis And Two Ants, which begins with this tweet right here<\/strong><\/span><\/a> on my tweetypants timeline.<\/p>\n

I also really like this photo:<\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

I took off my shoe the other day and found a teeny little snail shell in it. So I put the snail shell on the edge of my sink and said, “I should take a photo of that shell because, hey, snail shells are cool.” When I returned, I saw that the shell was still a home for this little goober.<\/p>\n

Then I ate him.<\/p>\n

*crunch crunch crunch*<\/p>\n

OKAY NO FINE I put him outside, sheesh.<\/p>\n

Let’s see, what else is going on?<\/p>\n

I’m sick, so that’s fun. CHILDREN ARE NEVER-ENDING PLAGUE FACTORIES, JUST SPEWING BACTERIA AND VIRUSES AND FUNGAL PATHOGENS INTO THE AIR, A CONSTANT MIASMA OF ILLNESS. My son’s been back at school one week and we’ve all got Ebola.<\/p>\n

Invasive<\/strong> is still $3.99 for your digital devices<\/strong><\/span><\/a>.<\/p>\n

I’ll be hanging out at B&N Bethlehem on 9\/23 for their B-Fest book fest thing<\/strong><\/span><\/a>, which is kinda teen-oriented but not explicitly teen-oriented? I’ll be signing there at 4pm and then at 5pm will be doing a short writing workshop for teens.<\/p>\n

Then, I’ll be hanging out at B&N Rittenhouse with the ever-charming and talented Fran Wilde for our annual FRANK AND CHANK SHOW, where she reads her beautiful prose and I read something about vulture barf and then she tells a knock-knock joke and we all eat cupcakes with my face on them. It’s weird but awesome. Also probably a Satanic ritual of some kind. Whatever, you need to go. That’s Fran’s Horizon Launch Party, on September 26th at 7pm<\/strong><\/span><\/a>. BE THERE OR BE FED TO THE BLOOD ENGINE.<\/p>\n

And I think that’s it.<\/p>\n

BYE.<\/p>\n

*dissolves into a pile of fizzing bacteria*<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

WELL, SOMEBODY WAS HUNGRY. I encourage you to read the sordid tale of The Mantis And Two Ants, which begins with this tweet right here on my tweetypants timeline. I also really like this photo: I took off my shoe the other day and found a teeny little snail shell in it. So I put […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-31393","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"hentry","6":"category-theramble","8":"no-featured-image"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pv7MR-8al","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31393","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31393"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31393\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31395,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31393\/revisions\/31395"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31393"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31393"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31393"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}