{"id":29195,"date":"2016-05-04T10:43:38","date_gmt":"2016-05-04T14:43:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/?p=29195"},"modified":"2016-05-04T10:43:38","modified_gmt":"2016-05-04T14:43:38","slug":"happy-star-wars-day-and-may-the-fourth-be-with-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/2016\/05\/04\/happy-star-wars-day-and-may-the-fourth-be-with-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Happy Star Wars Day, And May The Fourth Be With You"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

GET IT<\/p>\n

BECAUSE IT’S MAY<\/p>\n

AND IT’S THE FOURTH<\/p>\n

OF MAY<\/p>\n

AND THERE’S THAT THING THEY SAY<\/p>\n

IN THOSE MOVIES<\/p>\n

MAY THE FORCE — snicker — BE WITH YOU<\/p>\n

MAY THE FOURTH — tee hee — BE WITH YOU<\/p>\n

I DIDN’T INVENT THE JOKE<\/p>\n

BUT IT’S A GOOD ONE<\/p>\n

anyway<\/p>\n

So!<\/p>\n

To celebrate May the 4th, as you may know, I’ll be at the Cherry Hill Library tonight, and you can nab tickets here<\/strong><\/span><\/a> or, I assume, come by and buy tix at the door. I’ll talk\u00a0Star Wars<\/strong> and other stuff and sign books and do a nude performance art piece to the Ewok’s YUB NUB song, slowed down as if in a David Lynch movie. And maybe I’ll talk a little bit about\u00a0Life Debt<\/strong>, too. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

Speaking of\u00a0Life Debt<\/strong>, I’ve been given clearance to give away one tiny little piece of the book — an\u00a0itty-bitty amuse-bouche<\/em> of information, which is to say, the first sentence of the first chapter.<\/p>\n

Which is…<\/p>\n

wait for it<\/p>\n

wait for it<\/p>\n

waaaaaaaait for it<\/em><\/p>\n

spoiler space<\/p>\n

spoiler warning<\/p>\n

SPOILER ALERT –!<\/p>\n

“A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

SEE WHAT I DID THERE<\/p>\n

DO YOU<\/p>\n

SEE IT<\/p>\n

okay\u00a0fine<\/em>, jeez, no sense of humor around here —\u00a0tough crowd<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Here, then, is the first sentence of\u00a0Life Debt<\/strong>‘s chapter one:<\/p>\n

“Luke Skywalker vigorously drank a tall glass of blue milk, kicked a womprat, and died.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Wait, no, that can’t be right.<\/p>\n

“Call me Obi-Wan<\/em>.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

huh, no — shit, wait, is this it?<\/p>\n

“Malakili rolls over and sits up –“<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

GODDAMNIT, NO, hold on, hold on — *ruffles through papers*<\/p>\n

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single Kowakian Monkey-Lizard in possession of a jaunty hat\u00a0must be in want of a Hutt…”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

NO NO NO NO<\/p>\n

I’m sorry for wasting your time, hold on, just sit still.<\/p>\n

Oh. Here it is:<\/p>\n

“Poe Dameron and FN-2187\u00a0study each other’s bodies the way a navigator studies a star chart in the dark…”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

WAIT DAMNIT that isn’t right either, sorry, that one is from my, erm, private collection.<\/p>\n

Ah!<\/p>\n

Ah<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Here it is.<\/p>\n

The for-realsies, totally-legit, honest-to-Yoda first sentence of the first chapter of\u00a0Life Debt<\/strong>:<\/p>\n

“Leia paces.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

THANK YOU, GOOD NIGHT<\/p>\n

Hope to see some of you tonight in New Jersey.<\/p>\n

Life Debt<\/strong> comes out on July 12th, so pre-order now: Indiebound<\/strong><\/span><\/a> | B&N<\/strong><\/span><\/a> | Amazon<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

(And while you’re at it — don’t forget to check out Bloodline<\/strong><\/span><\/a>!)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

GET IT BECAUSE IT’S MAY AND IT’S THE FOURTH OF MAY AND THERE’S THAT THING THEY SAY IN THOSE MOVIES MAY THE FORCE — snicker — BE WITH YOU MAY THE FOURTH — tee hee — BE WITH YOU I DIDN’T INVENT THE JOKE BUT IT’S A GOOD ONE anyway So! To celebrate May the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-29195","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"hentry","6":"category-theramble","8":"no-featured-image"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pv7MR-7AT","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29195","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=29195"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29195\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":29203,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29195\/revisions\/29203"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=29195"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=29195"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=29195"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}