{"id":24355,"date":"2014-08-03T14:08:52","date_gmt":"2014-08-03T18:08:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/?p=24355"},"modified":"2014-08-03T14:08:52","modified_gmt":"2014-08-03T18:08:52","slug":"an-academic-critique-of-the-film-guardians-of-the-galaxy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/2014\/08\/03\/an-academic-critique-of-the-film-guardians-of-the-galaxy\/","title":{"rendered":"An Academic Critique Of The Film “Guardians Of The Galaxy”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>HA HA HA HA<\/p>\n

WHEE<\/p>\n

pyoo pyoo<\/p>\n

THAT RACCOON HAS A GUN AND A HEART<\/p>\n

I AM GROOT<\/p>\n

I am full of joy<\/p>\n

I haven’t had this much fun going to the movies since I don’t know when<\/p>\n

YOU’RE ON NOTICE, STAR WARS EPISODE SEVEN<\/p>\n

Except this isn’t really like Star Wars at all despite the comparisons<\/p>\n

This is more like THE LAST STARFIGHTER or ICE PIRATES<\/p>\n

HA HA HA DICK MESSAGE<\/p>\n

Hey is that really Sean Gunn from\u00a0Gilmore<\/strong> Girls<\/strong>?<\/p>\n

Oh, dang, he’s related to the director, isn’t he?<\/p>\n

The music! THE MUSIC.<\/p>\n

Music is so essential!<\/p>\n

I have earworms giddily chewing into my brain!<\/p>\n

WE MUST BE LIKE KEVIN BACON AND SAVE THE WORLD WITH DANCE<\/p>\n

Hey, is that Lee Pace from\u00a0Wonderfalls\u00a0<\/strong>and\u00a0Pushing Daisies<\/strong>?<\/p>\n

Is that — is that Simon Pegg in an eyepatch?<\/p>\n

Wait, no, I don’t think that’s Simon Pegg.<\/p>\n

(But Rob Zombie is in this movie?)<\/p>\n

This movie is entirely uncynical<\/p>\n

It doesn’t have an iota of darkness or grimdarkness in its silly heart<\/p>\n

It’s actually sweet!<\/p>\n

AHH I WANT MY SON TO SEE THIS SOME DAY BECAUSE WHIZZ BANG FUN ZOOM<\/p>\n

Oh Chris Pratt you’re the best and you used to be doughy and you give us all hope<\/p>\n

I want to play in this roleplaying game like not a video game but with dice and character sheets and OOH OOH CAN I PLAY THE TECHIE RACCOON WITH A CHIP ON HIS SHOULDER<\/p>\n

okay maybe some tiny complaints like jeez Marvel sure is in love with this whole Macguffin magical shiny glowy stones and objects bullshit, and hey maybe women could get a better break in these movies instead of the white guy always being the day-saver<\/p>\n

and the post credits sequence uhhh wut<\/p>\n

BUT AHHHH<\/p>\n

FUN<\/p>\n

JOY<\/p>\n

LAUGHING TIMES<\/p>\n

*clap clap clap*<\/p>\n

This is why Jesus and George Lucas invented toys!<\/p>\n

*gobbles down all the movie merchandising*<\/p>\n

BOOM<\/p>\n

BOOSH<\/p>\n

3D OH SNAP IT’S FLYING RIGHT AT MY FACE<\/p>\n

IMAX IS PRETTY COOL BUT I HAD TO TAKE OUT A HOME EQUITY LOAN FOR THE TICKET<\/p>\n

WHATEVER WOOOOOOOOOO<\/p>\n

*whistles up a floating spear*<\/p>\n

*buys self a Walkman*<\/p>\n

SHUT UP I’M NOT CRYING<\/p>\n

*dances*<\/p>\n

Lasers!<\/p>\n

WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE JESUS GOD CRAP STOP READING THIS AND GO SEE IT<\/p>\n

*vibrates until cosmic microscopic dispersal*<\/p>\n

(no raccoons or tree people were harmed during the making of this movie)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

HA HA HA HA WHEE pyoo pyoo THAT RACCOON HAS A GUN AND A HEART I AM GROOT I am full of joy I haven’t had this much fun going to the movies since I don’t know when YOU’RE ON NOTICE, STAR WARS EPISODE SEVEN Except this isn’t really like Star Wars at all despite […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-24355","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"hentry","6":"category-theramble","8":"no-featured-image"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pv7MR-6kP","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24355","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=24355"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24355\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":24362,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/24355\/revisions\/24362"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=24355"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=24355"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=24355"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}