I may have some kind of parasite. Some little blue-bird buried into my brainmeats, whose incessant chirps drive me to tweet endlessly anon.<\/p>\n
Anyway. Monday night came around and I was leading up to Tweet #100,000, and I was already a little goofy on ice cream and bee’s knees cocktails, so I figured I’d launch into a kind of\u00a0the first ten pieces of wisdom that fall out of my upended buckethead.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n For those that missed this on Twitter come Monday night, well.<\/p>\n Here y’go.<\/p>\n 1. Fuck \u2018em if they can\u2019t take a joke. But don\u2019t fuck up the joke, because then, hey fuck you. Funny is funny but not everything is funny.<\/p>\n \u2014 Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) July 2, 2013<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n <\/p>\n 2. Sometimes to fix something, you first gotta break it. This is true in writing. This is true in life. Probably not true in sex, though.<\/p>\n \u2014 Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) July 2, 2013<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n <\/p>\n 3. If you\u2019re surrounded by assholes, oops, you\u2019re probably the asshole. Stop inflicting yourself on everybody like a curse. Jerk.<\/p>\n \u2014 Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) July 2, 2013<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n <\/p>\n 4. You get one turn on the carousel and after that, who fucking knows? Own it. Love it. Find happy. Cling to happy like a koala on a tree.<\/p>\n \u2014 Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) July 2, 2013<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n <\/p>\n 5. The other thing about happiness is, it only works when yours doesn\u2019t steal from somebody else\u2019s. You do that, you\u2019re an asshole.<\/p>\n \u2014 Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) July 2, 2013<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n <\/p>\n 6. If you have the chance to join the Star League as the Last Starfighter, TAKE IT. I mean, c\u2019mon. DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS? No. #no<\/a><\/p>\n \u2014 Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) July 2, 2013<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n <\/p>\n 7. Regret is a fool\u2019s game unless you have a time-traveling Delorean. Otherwise, learn your lesson and move the fuck on.<\/p>\n \u2014 Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) July 2, 2013<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n <\/p>\n 8. We\u2019re terrible judges of our own self-worth so when you feel that incubus of doubt and fear, starve it of attention. That’s how it dies.<\/p>\n \u2014 Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) July 2, 2013<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n <\/p>\n 9. Be a fountain, not a drain.<\/p>\n \u2014 Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) July 2, 2013<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n <\/p>\n 10. Create something. We are what we leave behind: life, love, stories, music, whatever. As always: art harder, motherfucker.<\/p>\n \u2014 Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) July 2, 2013<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n <\/p>\n And that was tweet 100,000 by my count.<\/p>\n \u2014 Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) July 2, 2013<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n <\/p>\n Tweet 100,002: CHIMPANZEE DIAPER UNICORN POOP HOBO LAMBORGHINI ORANGUTAN LEPRECHAUN SWAMP MONSTER AMANDA BYNES IA IA GAGA BIEBER FTHAGN<\/p>\n