{"id":17006,"date":"2013-01-28T00:01:06","date_gmt":"2013-01-28T05:01:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/?p=17006"},"modified":"2013-01-28T09:05:37","modified_gmt":"2013-01-28T14:05:37","slug":"monday-morning-question-what-to-be-done-with-star-wars-episode-vii","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/2013\/01\/28\/monday-morning-question-what-to-be-done-with-star-wars-episode-vii\/","title":{"rendered":"Monday Morning Question: What To Do With Star Wars Episode VII?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

As noted, I heard about new\u00a0Star Wars<\/strong> and I was originally a little bit “meh.” That is, until I realized that the new film is going to be coming into my son’s life at around the same time that the original film did for me. Suddenly I envisioned some kind of crazy father-son generational sharing thing where we can both high-five over our own respective trilogies and, I dunno, frown at that weird “prequel” trilogy that keeps hanging out in the corner and throwing up in a potted plant. Right? Right. HA HA HA STUPID JAR-JAR HIGH-FIVE, SON.<\/p>\n

Anyway.<\/p>\n

So. Disney has the films. Michael Arndt is writing.<\/p>\n

And, until proven otherwise, J.J. Abrams is directing.<\/p>\n

This is not a post about J.J. Abrams directing. (For the record, I think it’s a good fit. He appreciates the magic and mystery of storytelling, and to me any weakness he may have had has leaned toward the\u00a0script\u00a0<\/em>side of things, and that shouldn’t a problem here.)<\/p>\n

What I want to talk about is what you or I would do with the new\u00a0Star Wars<\/strong> film. A\u00a0pontification<\/em>, if you will, of what direction to send the new films. This is always dangerous territory because you set up expectations and then when a thing doesn’t meet your needlessly elevated expectations, you get mad (“I bought this dog but I wanted a duck, ZERO STARS”).<\/p>\n

Still, fuck it. I am geek, hear me yawp.<\/p>\n

Here’s what I’d do with the new\u00a0Star Wars\u00a0<\/strong>films, should anybody let me near them.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0The films must continue the generational advancement of the Skywalker clan. Which means: Luke or Leia’s gotta have kids and this film has to be about one or several of them.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0Let’s see a female protagonist all up in here. A Skywalker daughter.<\/p>\n

\u2022 Doubly interesting if it’s Leia’s daughter. Luke more in the background. Hey, why not?<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0Since we’re getting all\u00a0progressive<\/em> up in here, I think it’s time to banish the racist miasma that hangs over the films (particularly from the prequels) and cut all the white-washing. White-washing is a big thing in film (“Hey, that character’s black but in the film we can make them white for no other reason except we’re all white and yay whiteys!”), and\u00a0if\u00a0Star Wars<\/strong> proudly does no such thing, maybe it’ll lead by example.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0Fuck politics. Listen, I give the prequels credit for actually being unusually on-point in terms of our own political situation here in the country, particularly post 9-11. Good job. Except, it was really, really boring. Listen, politics make for a great\u00a0Extended Universe thing. I’ll read your\u00a0Star Wars\u00a0<\/strong>novel\/comic\/pamphlet about galactic politics (okay I won’t), but in the films? Cut it out.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0Let’s make it about adventure. The original trilogy has a great sense of adventure to it — dire, suspenseful adventure, but\u00a0adventure<\/em>. The same kind of adventure you feel in the Indiana Jones movies. The kind you\u00a0don’t\u00a0<\/em>feel in the prequels. I want that back. Like, the first trilogy has the vibe of a D&D group coming together —\u00a0cleric, rogue, paladin, whatever. MORE OF THIS PLEASE.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0No Mara Jade. Actually, let’s ditch the Zahn prequels. I love them. I do. But, yeah, no.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0Fuck that green-screen. Okay, listen, I’m not an idiot: while I think the new Evil Dead<\/strong> film should be given big bloody high-fives for (apparently) filming without any CGI at all, I know in a film like\u00a0Star Wars<\/strong> you’re can’t escape CGI. But what’s on film is nearly always more effective when the CGI compliments a\u00a0real set<\/em> with\u00a0real objects<\/em> and\u00a0real people<\/em>. No more “actor talking to a tennis ball on a stick that will eventually be replaced with some jabbering alien.”<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0Plus, you’ve seen that “photos of impossible places<\/strong><\/span><\/a>” post, right? Pick three of these places, and\u00a0film some awesome shit there<\/em>. You don’t need to invent whole new places with CGI. The real world is full of alien landscapes. Tatooine = Tunisia, remember?<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0Also, the style shouldn’t be all glitzy-shiny. Keep the trashed-junk motif of the first three. It felt more real. You can polish it up a little, but it’s been a generation — still okay to showcase a galaxy climbing out of the hole dug by an oppressive Empire.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0Minimal Jedi. The original trilogy highlights the power of the Jedi by minimizing their presence — hell, Anakin Skywalker really\u00a0did<\/em> “balance the Force,” because \u00a0he basically left the world with two light-side dudes and two dark-side dudes. Then the prequels come along and it’s like\u00a0EEEE JEDIGASM<\/em> but before too long it just looks like a bunch of cosplayers running around with glowy boners. Let’s not<\/em> fast-forward to a time where suddenly it’s Jedi-palooza.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0Write it like a young adult story. Coming of age, whatever. Teens with teen problems.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0I don’t see how you can’t have the Sith as the enemy in some capacity — Sith and the Dark Side are inescapable. But what else? Is this about a resurgent Empire? I feel like we’ve been there, done that. They’re not going to be building a third goddamn Death Star, I mean, c’mon. So, who’s the enemy? What’s the conflict? Emperor’s dead. Vader’s dead. Death Star went kaflooey. The Empire felt pretty gone to me. But evil never dies. The Dark Side remains. So…<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0To go back to the teens thing — value in a Jedi Academy story? In the\u00a0Harry Potter\u00a0<\/strong>mode? The drama of young Jedi soon compounded by a sinister conspiracy?<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0If anyone in the film says “Midichlorians,” I’ll karate kick a theater usher. That poor guy.<\/p>\n

\u2022\u00a0You need all the old actors and characters, but keep all but one to the sidelines. One of them can serve in an Obi-Wan like capacity — the old mentor, Gandalf coming into the world to help save it. The obvious choice is Luke, but damn if I don’t wanna see a cantankerous Han Solo fill that role, instead. But but but — if Luke is sidelined and this is about Leia’s kids then Luke can be the “crazy uncle,” ala Ben Kenobi. Hmm.<\/p>\n

So, with all that said —<\/p>\n

What would\u00a0you<\/em> want to see in the new films?<\/p>\n

What would\u00a0you<\/em> do, if you were in charge?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As noted, I heard about new\u00a0Star Wars and I was originally a little bit “meh.” That is, until I realized that the new film is going to be coming into my son’s life at around the same time that the original film did for me. Suddenly I envisioned some kind of crazy father-son generational sharing […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-17006","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"hentry","6":"category-theramble","8":"no-featured-image"},"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pv7MR-4qi","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17006","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17006"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17006\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17014,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17006\/revisions\/17014"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17006"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17006"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/terribleminds.com\/ramble\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17006"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}