The Truth About Turtle Penis

You will find many roads to terribleminds. Maybe you found me through Twitter. Maybe caught one of my cross-links from Livejournal. Or Facebook? I go there. I link there. Sure. Facebook. Or, could be you found this website through some particular search engine term. My webstats track those. I look at them. And from time to time I post about it. Today, it’s time again. It’s time to talk about it. You and me, we need to sit down. Here. Have some oolong tea. The guards will pass it to... Read The Rest →

This Is The Conversation

You and me, we’re having a conversation. We’re standing here in the digital space, jawing away about something or other. Maybe we’re talking about writing. That’s apropos, yeah? The avatars of cars whiz by. Other blogpeople — passersby in this unreal place — hurry past. Then, out of nowhere, some clown runs up, hikes his pants down, slaps his bepimpled cheeks, and screams: “NUH-UH!” And then he runs away. That is not a productive way of joining the conversation. You, my clowning friend, are only interrupting. You are disrupting. Your... Read The Rest →

The Apple Tablet Is The Second, Maybe Even The Third, Coming Of Christ

No, seriously. We may have skipped the Second Coming. It didn’t happen fast enough. It didn’t happen awesome enough. The Second Coming wasn’t portable — you couldn’t take it into the shitter with you — and so Steve Jobs punts us right into the Third Coming. He’s good like that. The guy is basically a resurrected deity. We all know he died from some kind of insidious pancreatic cancer, but lo, he was born again on a tide of 1s and 0s and is now here to deliver unto us... Read The Rest →

Dragon Age: Origins — Like An Alcoholic Parent

Dragon Age: Origins is like a drunken parent. When times are good — times are really good. Lots of laughs and presents and love, all warming you with the hypnotic wash of whiskey breath. When times are bad — boy, they suck. It’s all rage and thrown furniture and grotesque shame, all hidden behind a drying cake of beer vomit. My opinions of Dragon Age — which I played on the Xbox 360 — are thus a wildly swinging pendulum. So many high points. So many low points. The Opening... Read The Rest →

The Fourth Nerdtivity: Lo, All Hail The Birth Of The Xeno-Messiah, Xibus!

(View supersized!) And so it was that our Xeno-Messiah — hermaphroditic spawn of the Jovian Overlord — was born into this plane of existence, pulled from his ultradimensional pocket. The Gospel Of John Spiderface In those days, an e-mail went out from Caesar Chewbacca to all the people in the world. This was the first and most spectacular of e-mails, when the Devil was mayor of Poughkeepsie. And all those in Poughkeepsie were told, “Lo, the Xeno-Messiah Xibus is coming, born from the ultradimensional womb, which is actually a dirty... Read The Rest →

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