So, I’m the luckiest writer-boy in the world.

As you’ll note here, Angry Robot failed to notice the curious blue powder I drizzled into their drinks and, as such, were bombed into such a stupor that they decided to re-up with me for another two books. I know, right? What’s wrong with them? Whatever the case, that means that you’ll see a new book from me called The Blue Blazes, and a third (!) Miriam Black book, The Cormorant.

Somewhere in the last year, seems I’ve built for myself a career as a novelist. Blackbirds, Mockingbird, Double Dead, Gods & Monsters, Dinocalypse Now, Beyond Dinocalypse, Dinocalypse Forever, Heartland Book One, Book Two, Book Three, Blue Blazes, The Cormorant, and of course, Bait Dog. It’s like I fell into a big bucket of sweet, sweet story-juice. This in addition to all the other ink I sling.

I’m going to be a busy dude.

And, again, to clarify: lucky, lucky, lucky.

As such, I feel like giving away some copies of Blackbirds.

To win, go to Twitter.

There you will play the, “Tell the world how you die” game.

Play on fear, play on fantasies, be real, be funny, be sad, whatever you want.

In a single tweet, tell the world how you think you’ll die.

Here’s the second — and very important — part.

You must use the hashtag:

#carpetnoodle

Okay? Tag your tweet with that hashtag or I just plum won’t see it.

(And that hashtag will make sense only to those who have read the book.)

I will pick three winners. Three favorites.

The most favoritest will get a signed copy of the book mailed to them.

The other two will receive unsigned copies.

(All mass market paperbacks.)

Open only to those in America, if you please. (International shipping is a bear.)

I’ll accept these until 10PM EST tonight (5/17). At which point I’ll announce the winners shortly thereafter.

You get one entry. Oh, and I get to use them at THIS IS HOW YOU DIE should I so choose.

Go forth and tweet your doom! #carpetnoodle

I’m pleased to announce that my Heartland young adult “cornpunk” trilogy — starting with the book known presently as POPCORN — will be published by Amazon Children’s Publishing. From the article:

Marilyn Brigham at Amazon’s Children’s Publishing bought world rights, for six figures at auction, to Chuck Wendig’s Heartland trilogy. Agent Stacia Decker of the Donald Maass Literary Agency brokered the deal. The series follows a 17-year-old who discovers a secret garden full of rare vegetables in a world where the government only allows the growing of genetically modified corn.

I wrote the first draft of this book last year just after my son was born, and thanks to the mighty wisdom of my agent (and fellow Team Decker author Joelle Charbonneau) was able to cycle it through a couple very robust edits. And, around one year later, it went out on submission and — after tangoing with a few publishers — ended up in very good hands. I’m very excited, totally over the moon, dizzy with disbelief.

I’m told that grown men don’t squee.

But I think it’s time we did.

EEEEEEEEE.

*swoons*

*falls down cellar steps, breaks ankle*

Full piece here at Publisher’s Weekly.

Other News

Hey, remember Double Dead? Remember that cantankerous old vampire, Coburn — the one vampire in a land of zombies? Mmmyeah, well, he’s back. The e-novella sequel to that book has arrived. It’s called Bad Blood and you can find it at Amazon or B&N, baby. Ketamine cult! Angry children! Lots of zombies! The hills of San Francisco! Alcatraz! And maybe, just maybe, more vampires. Check it, won’t you?

And I feel compelled to again mention Dinocalypse Now — two-fisted jetpack kilt-wearing-ape Atlantean magic psychic dinosaur fun! Click here to pre-order print or to get the e-book (which is available now).

I guest over at the Vodka O’ Clock podcast where I say inappropriate things about the Easter Bunny.

Blackbirds is now rocking 48 very kind reviews at Amazon, and also has garnered another bevy of lovely reviews scattered like knucklebones across the web (links at the bottom of this post). Also, keep your eyes out later this week — I’ll be giving away three copies of the book (print) in a little contest. If you have read the book and feel so inclined to leave another review somewhere, I’d be very gracious. So gracious, in fact, that I will take you for a ride to the moon in my unicorn Lamborghini which is made of dodo bones and smells like cupcakes baked in an angel’s mind and oh hey I think the acid is kicking in.

More Blackbirds Reviews!

http://www.theeloquentpage.co.uk/2012/05/01/blackbirds-by-chuck-wendig/

http://www.spinetinglermag.com/2012/04/24/blackbirds-by-chuck-wendig-review/

http://notjustnonsense.blogspot.com/2012/05/review-blackbirds-by-chuck-wendig.html

http://amberkatze.blogspot.com/2012/05/65-blackbirds-by-chuck-wendig.html

http://waggingthefox.blogspot.com/2012/05/rabid-reads-blackbirds-by-chuck-wendig.html

http://lilyelement.blogspot.com/2012/05/review-blackbirds.html

http://allthingsurbanfantasy.blogspot.com/2012/05/review-blackbirds-by-chuck-wendig.html

http://a-fantastical-librarian.blogspot.com/2012/05/chuck-wendig-blackbirds.html

http://eyewryte.blogspot.com/2012/05/blackbirds-miriam-black-1-by-chuck.html

http://www.blueinkalchemy.com/2012/05/10/book-review-blackbirds/

http://whirlingnerdish.blogspot.com/2012/05/review-blackbirds-by-chuck-wendig.html

http://muchlovedbooks.blogspot.com/2012/05/review-blackbirds-by-chuck-wendig.html

http://thefoundingfields.com/2012/05/miriam-black-blackbirds-chuck-wending-book-review-bane-kings/

http://www.elizabethawhite.com/2012/05/09/blackbirds-by-chuck-wendig/

http://bwmathews.wordpress.com/2012/05/09/book-review-blackbirds-by-chuck-wendig-angry-robot-books/

http://popculturenerd.com/2012/05/08/book-review-blackbirds-by-chuck-wendig

http://bunnycates.com/reading/2012/05/blackbirds-by-chuck-wendig/

http://scotspec.blogspot.com/2012/05/book-review-blackbirds-by-chuck-wendig.html

http://www.thenovelblog.com/tnbReviews.aspx?id=1435

http://www.erikreads.com/Book%20Reviews/2012/05/03/blackbirds-by-chuck-wendig/

http://damosays.com/journal/review-blackbirds-by-chuck-wendig/

It’s that time, again, in which we play: WHERE’S WENDIG?

Turns out, I’m all over the map these days. This week, for example, I leave for Los Angeles on Friday for a mix of transmedia talks, meetings, and Blackbirds stuff. What stuff, you ask?

Well, on Sunday, April 22nd, I’ll be at the LA Festival of Books. I’ll pop by the Mysterious Galaxy booth (#372!) to sign Blackbirds at 1pm. That’s also my birthday, so I expect you to show up with love in your heart. And cupcakes. And possibly some kind of exotic monkey. Or at least dressed up as an exotic monkey. Other awesome authors will be signing at the booth, including Stephen Blackmoore and S.G. Browne.

Then, on Tuesday, April 24th, when the book releases, I’ll be having a launch party signing event at the Mysterious Galaxy bookstore (Redondo Beach!) at 7:30pm. There will be a Fortean rain of dead blackbirds to celebrate. Though, that’s only if I can manage to cast my septic contrails across the skies over the city.

If you’re in LA, then, please do come track me down and say “hello.” I won’t bite. Well. Okay. I bite, but I don’t have any diseases. Well. Okay, fine, you should probably bring some antibiotics. Just in case.

And if you care to vote, Blackbirds is up in a “debut author cover challenge” at the Qwillery!

What else? Ah! Yes. I’ve got another bundle of strong Blackbirds reviews in…

“Chuck Wendig has managed to take the best of urban fantasy and crime noir, twist ‘em together like barbed wire, and drag you right over the barbs. Blackbirds is gritty and violent, yet never loses sight of the light that might be at the end of the tunnel. It’s there, I promise. You may have to squint a little, but Miriam’s humanity always shines through, even when things look pretty grim. Chuck Wendig hasn’t disappointed me yet, and I suspect he’s got quite a lot more in his arsenal. Don’t miss this one!” — My Bookish Ways (5/5).

“Chuck Wendig is one of those rare authors with such masterful use of language, and such a good ear for dialogue, that he engages the reader from the first page and never lets go.” — British Fantasy Society review.

“It’s a cliché in reviewing to say that you couldn’t put a book down, that you ended up reading all night because you couldn’t bear to leave the story. In reality there haven’t been that many books written – ever – that have that indefinable quality that demands your full attention. Blackbirds is one of the few I’ve come across in recent years… straight into my top 10 for 2012.” — Sci-Fi Bulletin review.

“Dark. Disturbing. Unfiltered. Coarse. These and everything everything associated with the above adjectives are not enough to describe this book. The emotional attachment runs deep and the totality of the story is bigger than 354 PDF pages, an hour and a half afternoon walk wasn’t enough for me to digest everything.” — Talk Supe review, (5/5) (and fairly spoilery, so be warned).

New interview with me at Bryon Quartermous’ site. I discuss poop, hobos, and being a “genre spaz.”

New interview with me at On Fiction Writing, where I talk about jealousy, bestsellers, and the worst book I’ve ever read. Oh, and something about Cthulhu? I shouldn’t be allowed to talk in public.

The Dinocalypse Now Kickstarter is up over 1100 backers (!) and $33,000 (!!) and has books dropping from me (a three-book series), Stephen Blackmoore, Harry Connolly, C.E. Murphy, and Brian Clevinger, and for a $10 pledge you get them all. You won’t find a deal like that many other places, and time is ticking down.

If you want a new Atlanta Burns short story, look no further than Fireside Magazine, now available. Brian White treated his authors like royalty, paying them well-above the professional rate. The magazine purports to have no genre boundaries and has crazy awesome art from Amy Houser (who did lots of my e-book covers). It has stories from Tobias Buckell, Ken Liu, Christie Yant, Adam Knave, D.J. Kirkbride. You will  check it out. Because you can smell delicious content and hunger for it.

And I think that’s all she wrote.

Hope to see some of you in LA.

CARRIER LOST

Well, hot dang.

The Penmonkey Incitement began in July as an experiment to sell 1000 copies of Confessions of a Freelance Penmonkey, and by gosh and by golly, it has been done.

Which means it’s time to play catch-up and start giving away some stuff.

I have the following items to give away:

Four postcards.

Two t-shirts.

One edit of 5,000 words of someone’s work.

AND ONE MOTHERFUCKING KINDLE, SON.

(Er, specifically, this Kindle: the Kindle Touch.)

Here’s how this works, if you need the reminder: if you procured COAFPM via this site directly, I already have your email address and proof of purchase. If you procured via Amazon or Barnes & Noble, then (if you have not already done so) you need to email me proof of purchase to: terribleminds at gmail dot com.

I will draw randomly the winners from those who purchased the book.

If you have not purchased the book, I’m giving you till Friday to do so to be included in the drawing. Dig? Specifically, I’ll be picking Friday (4/6/12) at noon EST.

To procure COAFPM:

Kindle (US), Kindle (UK), Nook, or PDF.

(EDIT: If you’re international, you’ll need to pay for shipping for anything I send beyond a single postcard. Just an FYI if you choose to be included in the draw.)

Other Sweet Wendig-Flavored News Nuggets

• WHERE MY LA PEEPS AT? Ahem. I shall be in Los Angeles at the end of the month to celebrate the launch of Blackbirds! I’ll be signing books and hanging out at Mysterious Galaxy (Redondo Beach) on April 24th at 7:30PM. You can check the details here. I hope if you’re out that way you’ll be able to swing by and say hello? Be great to meet some folks finally.

• Speaking of Blackbirds: check out this month’s e-book promos. Pre-order the book and send me proof and get something free. And we all know that free = good. Unless it’s a free kick to the genitals. Though I guess a free kick to the genitals is still better than a paid kick to the genitals, right? Though, by making genital kicks free, are we devaluing genital kicks? More thought is needed!

• I’ve been ripping out pages from Blackbirds and excerpting them at THIS IS HOW YOU DIE. They’ll continue until release, but for now, here are the ones posted so far (in order):

– “The Boogeying Roach“

– “My Fair Fuckin’ Lady“

– “Capillaries Burst“

– “The Zero Flips To One“

– “Swing And A Miss, Asshole“

– “The Time Is Now 12:43“

– “Friendly Neighborhood Whore-Puncher“

– “Dear Diary“

– “Me With My Wings“

– “Year, Day, Hour, Minute, Second“

– “Death And Elbows“

– “The Boy With The Red Balloon“

– “Little Sneakers Pounding Ground“

– “This Was My Purpose“

• “Chuck Wendig’s latest book, Blackbirds, is quite frankly, stunning. … Chuck Wendig has secured a place on my ‘must-buy’ authors list.” Blackbirds review at Just One More Page.

• “Chuck Wendig has it down to a fine art. It’s tough, mean and, at times, firing enough four-letter words for the film rating agencies to insist on an R rating.” Blackbirds review at Thinking About Books.

• “I rocketed to Earth in a space-pod as my Penmonkey home planet burned behind me.” I am interviewed about writing and Blackbirds and… romance?! Yep! Over at Waterworld Mermaids.

• “Dinocalypse Now is wildly imaginative and beautifully written adrenalin-fueled pulp. I can not wait for the next book.” New review at the Qwillery!

• So, holy crap, the Dinocalypse Now Kickstarter is a stone’s throw from $20,000. The trilogy I’m writing is unlocked. So is a standalone Benjamin Hu novel by Atomic Robo super-genius Brian Clevinger. And we’re in spitting distance of another standalone novel, this one an Amelia Stone story by C.E. Murphy. And… wait, how many days are left?! Sweet Dino-Jesus. (EDIT: Um, yep, Dino Now broke $20k. I think Fred has some new stretch goals to announce…)

• The Smallsmall Thing documentary, however, is not yet funded, but is very close — check it out, will you? It’s the documentary about a little Liberian girl who suffers ongoing physical ailments due to rape — it’s sad but sweet, too, and takes a hard look at democracy, rape culture, and Liberia’s troubled return to the global stage. Less than a week left and within eyesight of the goal. But not yet there. Hope you can help. (As mentioned earlier, I did some script work for this documentary.)

• Finally, I point you toward this, which shall be coming very soon, indeed:

And we did it!

We unlocked not just one but two new Atlanta Burns novels.

Which geeks me out to no end.

Now I will pause to do a happy dance. And fire my shotgun up in the air.

But — but! — we’ve still got six whole hours left.

If we get to $9000 by the close of the Kickstarter, that will unlock a third Atlanta Burns novel.

Holy crap.

Can we do it? I don’t know. The power of the Internet is glorious and weird.

I will add here that anybody who pledged at the $25 rate and higher gets an e-book copy of each unlocked novel (in the e-book format of your choice). So, if we unlock three novels, at the $25 and up level you get three novels. The more novels unlocked, the greater value the pledge brings.

Thanks all who supported it and spread the word.

Let’s see where we land with this thing, yeah? Eeee!

So, first things first, I have to show you that. “That” being that image up there. That’s right, cats and kittens — another jaw-dropping eyeball-popping Joey Hi-Fi cover for yours truly. This time, for the next in the Miriam Black series, Mockingbird. (Cool interview with “Mister Hi-Fi” right over here.)

I’m the luckiest book boy in the world.

What else is going on?

Well. Lessee.

• The Bait Dog Kickstarter has 20 days left and we have crossed over the $4500 threshold. Which is crazy delicious. But, as yet, we have not yet crossed over into the “second book a-coming” bracket, which is set at a $6000 milestone. So, if you want to make me write another Atlanta Burns novel beyond Bait Dog, well, you know what to do.

• Shotgun Gravy (the novella that comes before Bait Dog) has been picking up a ton of very loving reviews lately. Producer Paul says, “I continue to be more and more impressed with author Chuck Wendig, and Shotgun Gravy is no exception.” Josh Loomis says, “It’s a tense read, crackling with nervous energy and dread anticipation of what will happen next.” Jess says, “[Atlanta Burns is] human, vulnerable and yet ballsy in a way most people just wish they were.” Oh, and finally, 58 smashing reviews hanging out at the novella’s Amazon page.

• Another Kickstarter is doing well, and it’s also one to which I contributed — Smallsmall Thing is a documentary about the rape of a little Liberian girl and what that means for her family, her community and her country. I did some script work on it, and it’s a very powerful story. It’s already over 33% — worth taking a peek (click here).

• Blackbirds rocks another very kind review — “This is a relatively small price to pay though when you’ve got Wendig throwing you into any number of violent and chilling encounters with what is becoming his typical abrasive attitude. The guy has only written two books and already I can’t get enough. If you’re after some urban fantasy that is by no means typical then ‘Blackbirds’ is probably already on your wish list. For everyone else, give it a go anyway and have your mind blown. Wendig takes you on a journey, down the forgotten highways of America, that you won’t soon forget.” From the review at Graeme’s Fantasy Book Review!

• Oh! Another great Blackbirds review (at the World Writ Small) says: “Probably the best thing about this book is that it never leaves you time to feel sorry or second guess any of the characters. They are so clearly drawn that everything about them feels realistic, and hate them or not, you know they’re just going to keep on keeping on. The worst thing about this book is that it ends.”

• Dang, the hits just keep coming! From Dead End Follies: “There are many plot twists to Blackbirds that will make you stand up and yell ‘OH MY FUCKING GOOOOOOD. NO WAY’ but they are strategically placed in the story, so you never know when you’ll be slapped across the face. Keeps a reader tense, believe me. All in all, it’s a crazy story I could very well see on film in the new few years.”

• A very kind review of Double Dead by writer pal Eddy Webb, where he refers to me as a “subtle storyteller.” And then, surprisingly, does not admit to having just eaten a faceful of acid.

• Holy crap! Bad Blood cover! (Sequel to Double Dead, in case you didn’t realize.)

• Holy crap! I just saw the Dinocalypse Now cover! But you can’t see it! Yet! Soon! I’m sure! Exclamation point!

• Some of my #fakeoscars tweets were agglomerated at the Washington Post culture blog.

• Am in the process of unfucking my own YA cornpunk novel, Popcorn.

• Our son took his first step — like, he was holding onto the couch, he pivoted, took a full step on his own, and then tumbled into his mother’s arms. It’s not walking, not yet, but I think we’re getting closer now. He’s nine months old and he’s been standing up like crazy (15 second record!). And he also built an F-14 out of our couch and flew it to the moon where he established a lunar colony for lost puppies. Okay, maybe not so much that last part.

• Finally, the good news is, terribleminds is getting to be very popular. The bad news is, that popularity costs. My web fees have gone up again in response to “increased compute cycles,” which is I guess the same as saying, “The robots are having to work harder to manage the strain your blog is causing on the rest of the robot universe.” Or something. May need a new host soon, or may really need to start considering new ways to fund this site.

• The Bait Dog Kickstarter went live yesterday around 1pm, and by 10:30 or so, the book was at 100% funding. So, Atlanta Burns will officially get her standalone novel where she goes toe-to-toe with a dog-fighting ring and a town-wide conspiracy built on the backs of bigotry. Thank you, awesome humans, for helping make that happen.

• That said, we’ve still got, ohhh, 30 days left on the clock. Which means it’s time to talk about going the extra mile in terms of “unlocked rewards.” Here’s how it works: for every additional $3000, I will write a new Atlanta Burns novel. Anyone who has pledged at the $25 level or higher will receive every Atlanta Burns novel (in the e-book format of your choosing) that is unlocked during this Kickstarter drive. I don’t know how long it’ll take me to write each novel, but I’m going to loosely give each a three-to-six month window (I’ve got a few already outlined, so I’ve got a jump on new Atlanta tales). So, if you continue to pledge, not only will you earn the rewards of your pledge tier but you’re also contributing toward more Atlanta Burns books.

• Yes, this means I’ve effectively committed to writing infinite novels.

• Yes, this probably means I’m crazy. But fuck it, I’m in it to win it. Go big or go home. Pedal to the metal! Rubber meets the road! I’m here to kick ass and chew bubble gum because bubble gum is delicious and I enjoy violence! And other pithy statements of triumph and encouragement.

• In case you don’t know why you might want an Atlanta Burns novel, you can find the novella, Shotgun Gravy, free for a short time over at Amazon.

• Hey, hot damn, Blackbirds earned a short-but-sweet review at Publishers Weekly.

• Oh, and here’s a Blackbirds review that calls the book “brash and brilliant.” It goes onto say: “Blackbirds is one of those books that lingers with you a bit– in a good way. Wendig has such a bold style that the emotional payoff is as big as the characters. It’s the kind of book that has the potential to put Wendig on the map as a ‘must-read’ author– I know he’s made my list. Highly recommended.” That’s a squee-worthy review if ever there was one.

As noted on Monday, I was trying a little experiment: I flung my Atlanta Burns novella, SHOTGUN GRAVY, up onto Amazon’s exclusive Kindle “KDP Select” program which purports to offer authors two key benefits: first, the ability to take part in Kindle lending which further grants authors access to a large “pot” of money monthly; second, the advantage (or, some might say, “advantage”) of putting your work up online for free.

As of late, a number of folks have noticed a phenomenon. You put your work up for free, and then when it once more re-enters paid gravity, suddenly the book becomes a Purchasing Magnet whereupon droves and flocks and herds and gaggles of Amazon readers come out of the woodwork to buy the recently-free book. A lot of authors have been attempting to jump this promotion’s bones (evidenced by the sudden flurry of “My work is free suddenly!” broadcasts).

Well, I figured, let’s try it.

SHOTGUN GRAVY‘s a novella that did well in its first month but kind of tapered off — it gets a sale or three a day, which is fine and adds to the whole pile, but it’s not exactly a rocketship to the money moon. Further, if I’m going to justify putting out the sequel, BAIT DOG, I figured I damn well better get the book into people’s hands. Free or not.

I originally put the book up for five days. You only get one five-day-period during your 90-day reign of exclusivity, however — so, I figured, I’d better chop it down to two.

Here’s how it went.

Putting the book up for free amassed a sudden burst of books distributed (I dare not use the word “sold” since, well, you don’t pay for a free book with anything but a stab of your finger on a mouse button). Right out of the gate, had about 100 people nab the book. Which was curious — where the hell did they come from? Are they real people? I don’t even know.

Over the course of the next 24 hours, I amassed over 5000 copies distributed free to readers. A nice enough number. Happy to have the book on a heap of Kindles, though one supposes that a good percentage of those will never read the book — perhaps I’m being cynical, but I know that the less I pay for a book, the lower it falls in my To-Be-Read pile. By yesterday morning, the book had reached #44 in the Top 100 Free and so I thought, now’s a good time to cut short the five days to two days. I went to end it thinking that I’d still get two full days of the promo — but within 30 minutes of asking the promo to end, it ended, lickity-split.

Which is fine, but I didn’t expect it to work that fast. Amazon can be notorious for veeeeeery sloooowly updating things — even a simple price change can take up to 48 hours to populate.

So, then. Results?

I did not initially see any boost in sales. Hour or two went by and the e-book didn’t move one whit. But then, ping — a sale. Okay, fine. Then another, and another. Steadily — and slowly, mind — the e-book sold about 60 copies. (This is as of 7:00PM last night.) It’s since not moved again in about an hour. The book crested to Amazon ranking #1,793. Further, it garnered another six reviews during that period (all four- and five-star).

(I’d politely ask that if you procured my book — or any book! — for free, leave a review upon reading it?)

Now, many have reported that a bigger sales boost occurs two to three days after the free promo ends. Not sure if that’ll happen here, but I’m damn sure gonna keep my eyes peeled.

Assessment of results?

Good, I guess. I’m happy to have the novella in the hands of 5000 more theoretical readers. I would have preferred they pay the buck for it, but if that means I’ve got more folks willing to chip in for BAIT DOG or other work of mine, that’s great.

This leads to the question, did I experience a sales boost of my other e-books?

I did not.

Quite the contrary, actually.

Soon as I triggered the free promo, my e-book sales over that two-day period were cleanly halved in twain. That’s kinda weird. I mean, I have no evidence that it has anything to do with the free promo — why would it? Surely it’s coincidence. Only thing I can think of is that there seems to exist some strange internal Amazon promotional algorithm that us Human Beings cannot access lest it overload our mental circuitry. Something about how books achieve rankings and show up under other books and appear on the main page and so on and so forth. If this is true, one could theorize that triggering the SG free promo… I dunno, rearranged the promotional eggs in the digital egg basket Amazon built for me.

Which makes little sense, but there it is.

We’ll see if sales rebound. Gods, I hope so — January has been a really stupendous month in terms of getting the e-books out there. Which leads me to…

Brand New E-Book Promo

Buy any of the following books on writing during the month of February:

CONFESSIONS OF A FREELANCE PENMONKEY

REVENGE OF THE PENMONKEY

500 WAYS TO BE A BETTER WRITER

And I’ll comp you a copy of:

250 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT WRITING.

If you procure via PDF, you don’t need to do anything. You’ll get 250 Things automatically.

If you procure via other methods (Amazon, B&N), send me proof of purchase to:

terribleminds at gmail.

Other Stuff

Let’s see, let’s see…

Just finished the first official (third unofficial) draft of MOCKINGBIRD. Off to the Robot!

Will today also finish the first draft of DINOCALYPSE NOW.

The Washington Post calls me a “death blogger” and “macabre mastermind” in a piece about my collaborative storytelling and art Tumblr project, This Is How You Die. Reminder, of course, that the How You Die blog is always taking submissions — text, photo, song, art of any variety, all about how you might die. (More information here.)

I also get a shout-out at Huffington Post courtesy of Amy Edelman and Melissa Foster in a piece called, “The Big Reasons Indie Authors Aren’t Taken Seriously.”

BLACKBIRDS gets its first official review (from Fantasy Nibbles, tee hee) — and it’s glowing! (“…a truly unforgettable heroine driving the action. The writing is razor sharp throughout, and I’m genuinely concerned that I might be a little bit messed up for enjoying this one so much.”)

Oh, and then the book gets another glowing review from New York Journal of Books! Woo. (“Author, screenwriter, and writing advice guru Chuck Wendig creates a compelling tale with an even more compelling protagonist in Miriam Black: a tough, street wise survivor who finally escapes her troubled childhood only to find that she can’t escape herself. Despite her fairly macabre lifestyle, Miriam has a strength and sarcastic wit that makes her very likeable and strangely sympathetic.”)

And My Bookish Ways throws DOUBLE DEAD into the review machine and gives it a 5 outta 5, baby. (“Double Dead is a terrifying, violent, American road trip through zombie hell.”)

Finally, TALES FROM THE FAR WEST — a rad-ass Wild West Wuxia mash-up short story collection based on Gareth Skarka’s Far West storyworld drops in e-book format (and soon, print). I’m in here surrounded by some of my favorite people — Will Hindmarch, Eddy Webb, Ari Marmell, Matt Forbeck, Jason Blair. My story — “Riding the Thunderbird” — is about a girl, an outlaw, and a herd of storming thunderbirds.

“Blackbirds is a horror story, a traveling story, a story of loss and what it takes to make things right.  It’s a story about fate and how sometimes, if we wrestle with it hard enough, maybe we can change it.  Blackbirds is the kind of book that doesn’t let go even after you’ve put it down and nobody else could have made it shine like Chuck Wendig.” — Stephen Blackmoore, author, City of the Lost and Dead Things

Psst.

Hey, you.

That’s right, BLACKBIRDS is now up for pre-order.

You can pre-order at Amazon.

You can pre-order at B&N.

An e-book is in the cards, of course, but you can’t pre-order that. Not yet, anyway.

It’s a buck cheaper at B&N, but my assumption is that discount will also be the case at Amazon. (Amazon has that pre-order price guarantee, wherein you’ll get any price drops that occur between now and delivery.)

Why pre-order? For one, it lets the publisher know of demand for the book. That’s valuable information. For two, it lets the publisher know of demand for the author — and that’s good to know, too.

Got other cool things in the works for BLACKBIRDS, including two special treats at the back of the book. But I shan’t talk about those — not yet, anyway.

If you’re looking for fiction from yours truly right now, I might recommend:

SHOTGUN GRAVY, about a troubled teen girl taking on some high school bullies with naught but spunk, grit, and a .410 scattergun. (Oh, and Adderall!)

Or:

DOUBLE DEAD, about a pissed-off vampire who awakens only to discover that most of his food supply has been turned to the shambling undead. He must transition from predator to shepherd to protect his food supply. This ain’t Twilight, folks: the only way Coburn glitters is if he kills and eats a stripper.

And that’s all she wrote. Thanks, folks!

Okay, first thing out of the gate is –

HOLY CRAP BLACKBIRDS COVER.

If I could bedazzle that, make it pulse, blink, throw in a bunch of interrobangs, have the letters get up and work-it work-it on the stripper pole, Sweet Molly McGoggins, I would. Because it’s a helluva cover.

I’m a lucky dude with a cover like that.

Miriam Black, realized.

Oh so many tiny images contained within that one. Beautiful. Beautiful!

And a cover like that is thanks to the Mighty Artification Powers of Joey Hi-Fi, who also did the award-winning cover to Lauren Beukes’ ZOO CITY (a book if you haven’t read, you need to correct ASAMFP).

Bow down to him.

Thanks to the mighty bibliomantium overlords at Angry Robot for making such a killer cover happen.

Writing Advice Snidbit

Right quick, I posted this on the Twittertubes and the Google-Doubleplusgoods yesterday, and so I thought I’d just pop it up here as a tiny li’l snidbit of dubious writing wisdom:

When writing a 1st draft, duck your head low and bolt for the finish line. Don’t stop. Don’t blink. Follow the map far as it takes you.

Know that the book will be born during rewrites. When you break its carapace and find the true beast beneath the old ruined skin.

It’s okay when your map, the plan, the outline, fails you. That’s good. Sometimes roads are closed for a reason. Don’t freeze. Keep writing.

Remember: slow and steady wins the race when rocking that first draft. Even 1k a day gets you your draft in under three months.

Also, something-something-porn-whiskey-dopamine-killyourdarlings-cthulhu-fthnagn-poop-noise. Now shut up and write.

Do with that as thou wilt. Share! Discuss! Debate! Dispute!

Allonsy, Alonzo!

Why I Write

LA Gilman pointed out that today is, apparently, the National Day Of Writing, and so you can head over to Twitter and use the hashtag #whyiwrite to, well, describe why you write.

For me, it’s simple:

Writing is how I tell stories, and telling stories is how I communicate myself to the world. I am my stories and my stories are me and just as civilizations used mythology to explain themselves and their world, I use storytelling and writing to explain myself and my world, and transmit that idea via the penmonkey frequency to all who care to intercept it. That is, of course, the philosophical side.

The practical side is, Mommy gets a what-what and needs money, and writing is how I get that money. Sorry to crass it up with commerce, but trust me, writing is a pretty fangasmic way of earning a living.

Hop over to Twitter or tell us in the comments:

Why do you write?

Penmonkey Incitement Level Up Ding!

Holy crap, the Penmonkey Incitement is up to 442/1000 copies of COAFPM sold.

Which means we crossed the 400 mark.

Which means I need to give away:

Another postcard.

Another t-shirt.

Another penmonkey critique of someone’s writing.

It also means that after another 58 sales, I’m going to give away a Kindle.

I’m going to wait until tomorrow morning, at this time (9AM EST) to pick the winners, thus giving you folks a chance to get your names into the hat if you haven’t already. Diggit?

So, to those who have procured the book via PDF: you don’t need to do anything.

Those who have procured it via Amazon or B&N, well, you need to make sure I know about it. Send me proof of purchase to terribleminds at gmail dot com.

Also be advised that buying CONFESSIONS or REVENGE OF THE PENMONKEY during the month of October also earns you a free copy of 250 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT WRITING. Again, though, if you bought via Amazon or B&N, you need to contact me at the above email address to make sure I know you bought it. I ain’t psychic.

Ch-Chak, Boom! Shotgun Gravy Has Arrived

I’m sure you noticed this, but SHOTGUN GRAVY arrived on Amazon, B&N, and here at terribleminds.

As of this moment, I’ve crossed the 100 sales mark, which is where I hoped to be. The first day was a little tepid but I think that’s because it was a Friday (and a Friday in which a new iPhone dropped — hell, half the day I was trying to get mine activated, so I get it). I’ve gotten emails and tweets from people who seem to not just like it, but really love it, which is overwhelmingly awesome. The story means a lot to me and I hope people take a chance on it.

If it sells steadily, I’d say BAIT DOG is a good bet for December-ish.

If sales hit the wall — well, who knows?

If you find my promos of SHOTGUN GRAVY ever get too loud (they will die back soon enough, I assure you), please poke me in the ribs and politely ask that I cool it down. It’s hard being a self-published author in particular because you’re forced to be a one-man-marketing-machine, and the line between “Helpful Advertising!” and “Annoying Spamfuck!” gets real blurry, real quick-like.

Obviously if you liked the book, please do leave a review and share with your friends how much you dug it.

Inner Views And Udder Links

Hey, look, ma, you can hear my voice at various places!

First up: The Mighty Maven Of Word-Making, Mur “The Murder” Lafferty interviews me over at her podcast, ISBW (I Should Be Writing). Check it out riiiiight here.

Second up: Sexy svelte storyteller extraordinaire J.C. “The Rabbit Hutch” Hutchins has me visit at his site where we dig into some transmedia chatter. Check that out at this underlined linky-thing.

If you have not read the first chapter of DOUBLE DEAD, then you will note that Flames Rising has posted that very thing. Want to preorder? Go right ahead. Coburn is coming.

I’ve got a story in THE NEW HERO (Vol I), featuring a thug enforcer for the quite-literal Underworld, Mookie “The Meatman” Pearl. Robin Laws edited, and Gene Ha did the cover:

…and if you look at the bottom row and see a big dude with a meat cleaver, that’s Mookie. It’s a story I’m really proud of and was a fuuuhuuuhuuuuuckin’ hoot to write. Hopefully the same to read.

I know, right? Two awesome covers in one day.

My khakis, they are shellacked.