Apple-Obsessed Author Fella

Review: My Big-Ass Ultrasaber

So, in case you didn’t know, it’s kinda Star Warsy out there right now. Our four-year-old is eyeball deep in it — normally at this point in the year he becomes hopelessly obsessed with Christmas music, an act that will carry him into February easy (meaning we will have Jingle Bells on the brain long after the tree has been returned to its basement prison). But oh, no. Not this year. This year it’s Star Wars music all the time. The kid whistles the Imperial March and calls it “our song.” He’s all up in Ewok tunes. He loves the fanfare and the cantina music and everything.

And it’s translated to, well, everything else, too. Shows (Rebels!), movies (not really the prequels so much, but definitely the original trilogy), video games (Infinity and Battlefront and oh god the mercilessly cruel LEGO Star Wars game, a game so frustrating I want to bite big hunks out of my PS3 controller). Playground game. And, duh, toys. Many toys. LEGO. My old figures. His figures. Even his non-SW toys get rebranded as SW toys for purpose of playtime.

He loves lightsabers.

He makes them out of pretty much anything.

While traveling, my wife sent me a photo of him holding what could only be described as a big-ass, real-looking lightsaber. Red and eerie and epic. Quite a bit like Kylo Ren’s saber, actually.

(See photo at top.)

Turns out, Ultrasaber sent me that.

Like, just because. I mean, I assume they want me to review it? I dunno. I figure I should, because it’s really pretty amazing. They gave me this version: The Renegade.

Here, then, is my brief review:

It is bright as anything. It is properly demonic. It is long and it is heavy. It makes you feel like a proper dark Jedi. (Or, turn it upside down for a Satanic cross!) I saber battle the tiny human — mostly he just whacks at it with his own plastic swords — and it seems like it can take some punishment. The hilt itself is elegant, machined beautifully — though one complaint is that in a few spots, it’s actually rather sharp. I cut myself on the thing because of that — not badly, but a scratch that bled. Mine doesn’t have the sound effects, though I imagine that would be aces.

The Ultrasaber is bad-ass. I know other folks who own them and love them equally.

If you want a proper-feeling lightsaber, they’re your way to go.

Just in time for Christmas, or for this fancy new Star Wars movie coming out…