Slaw. Slaaaaaaaw. (Slaw.)

Smoky And Sweet

Today, at the Holy Taco Church, I give you a recipe for:


It is, par usual, a recipe that spits in the eye of God and Good Taste.

It is a NSFW recipe.

Which seems to be my modus operandi.

Tequila slaw could go well with (hat-tip to Delilah): BBQ pork sliders.

Or, it could go well with fish tacos.

In them.

On them.

Around them.

In your mouth at the same time as them.

Now, though, I beseech you for a recipe. A little quid pro quo, Clarice. I have some family coming this weekend and am thinking about various cold salad products — noodle salad, potato salad, carrot salad, salad salad, slaw (slaaaaaw), etc.etc.

Nice side dishes. Cold.

So: care to share some? YOUR TURN.


  • Watermelon and feta salad with some diced kalamata olives and minced sweet onion. Tossed in olive oil, lemon juice, Tabasco (or hot sauce of choice), s&p. Garnished with fresh chopped mint.

    Very surprising.

  • Potato salad reaches awesomeness when you use guacamole (thinned with mayo or salsa, a little) for the dressing. Or combine cooked, chunked potatoes, steamed fresh green beans and pesto thinned with a little lemon juice and olive oil. No leftovers on that one last week. White and red cabbage, shredded carrots and green onions with a cilantro/lime/avocado dressing is a bodacious slaw. Greek potato salad: dress the potatoes with a combo of equal parts plain greek yogurt and mayo plus a pinch of salt, then add crumbled feta and pitted, halved kalamata olives to the salad. Chunks of cucumber optional, or you could dress the same ingredients with tzatziki. I can also give you my pickled carrot slaw recipe, if you want it.

  • Cold Tortellini Salad (Very Easy)

    2 9 oz packages tri-color tortellini cheese pasta

    1 12 oz can small black olives (drained)

    1 cup Italian vinegrette dressing (add more to taste if you like)

    Prepare tortellini to package directions, let cool.

    Add dressing and olives. Stir. Let marinate several hours or overnight in refrigerator.


  • Okay, this is not very exciting but it’s tasty. Ranch Pea Salad. You get some frozen peas (let them thaw out a little), some ranch dressing, and some green onions and mix ‘em all up together. I sometimes add slivered almonds or boiled eggs as well.

  • Rotini pasta tossed in lemon juice, with halved grape tomatoes, and squares of mozzerella. Add pepper and garlic to taste.

  • I have two cold foodstuffs that I have to serve in barrel-size containers if I want any hope of getting to eat some of it myself before family devours it.

    Watermelon-Basil-Cucumber salad:
    1 tbsp olive oil
    2 tsp fresh lemon juice
    1/4 tsp salt
    4 cups cubed seedless watermelon
    1 cup chopped English cucumber
    1/4 cup minced red onion
    2 tbsp thinly sliced fresh basil

    Easy, just mix it all up in a bowl. Keeps very well. Proportions are flexible.

    3/4 cup wheat berries or uncooked farro
    2 tbsp olive oil
    1 tbsp lemon juice
    1 tsp good vinegar, balsamic works well
    1/4 tsp salt
    Big pinch of cumin
    Garlic to taste
    2 tomatoes, seeded and chopped (good ones, not the pale grocery store tumors)
    2 bunches of flat-leaf parsley, stemmed and chopped (about 2 cups)
    1/2 cup minced red onion
    2 oz crumbled feta cheese, or more to taste

    Cook the wheat berries until done. Rice cookers work for this but boiling them on the stove is fine.

    Meanwhile, make the dressing by combining oil, juice, vinegar, salt, cumin, and garlic. Combine the vegetables and pour the dressing over.

    Add the hot cooked wheat berries and stir gently. Add the feta.

    I like to serve this still warm, but the leftovers are excellent cold. You can add rotisserie chicken or chickpeas to this to make it an entree.

  • A #3 Beer side dish of Summer Yumminess: “I must have more please.”

    Open Beer #1. Consume. (No, dear, there’s no beer IN the recipe. That’s for me. Relatives are due any moment now, and they’re easier to deal with this way.)

    Take out your sharpest knife.

    Use said blade to slice raw summer squash lengthwise in half, then in half again. Repeat with fresh eggplant, zucchini, bell pepper (I love the red ones), and onion. Place veggies out on a sheet pan, sliced side up.
    Heat Grill. Open Beer #2. Smile.
    Salt and pepper your veggies. Lightly baste with your favorite Italian dressing. Or make your favorite vinegar and oil dressing and add your favorite fancy herbs.
    Grill said veggies for 15 minutes, turning and basting until you have nice grill marks gracing their little vegginess. Do NOT cook them to death.
    Remove said veggies from grill back onto said sheet pan, and slice with said knife into rustic chunks. Place all grilled veggies in a bowl. Throw in at least a half cup of your dressing, and cover tightly with foil to steam.
    Open Beer #3. Smile more at your clever rustic veggie side dish. Enjoy Beer while warmed grilled veggies soak up Italian goodness.
    Once they’ve cooled down, serve as side dish.

    Hide sharp knife before relatives arrive. Beer #4 is totally optional. Enjoy.

  • Here is some deliciousness for your face. My sister says you can omit the bacon but we both know she is wrong and a dirty, dirty liar. Anyways….

    Loaded Baked Potato Salad
    4 pounds russet potatoes
    1-2 tablespoons of olive oil
    3 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
    1 cup mayonnaise (I use olive oil flavor)
    3/4 cup sour cream
    1 teaspoon kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
    1 pound bacon, cooked, cooled and chopped
    6 green onions, chopped
    1 1/2 cups medium cheddar cheese, shredded

    Instructions (how ya slap it together):
    Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
    Place the cleaned potatoes on an aluminum foil lined baking sheet and pierce 4-5 times with a fork. Lightly coat with olive oil and cook for 50-60 minutes or until fork tender. Remove from the oven and let cool. Remove the skins and cut the potatoes into 1 inch chunks and place in a large mixing bowl. Sprinkle with the apple cider vinegar and let rest for 15-30 minutes.
    Cook the bacon in a large skillet, drain and let cool. Crumble into bite-size pieces.
    Mix the mayonnaise and sour cream in a small bowl and season with the kosher salt and pepper and then add to the potatoes. Stir in the bacon, green onion and cheddar cheese and season with more salt and pepper to taste. Refrigerate for 3 hours up to overnight before serving.

  • My potato salad is simple but never fails to rake in the compliments. As always, the secret is in the quality of the ingredients.

    Measure ingredients according to company size
    (I rarely measure anything when cooking – yeah, I know, I’m a BIG help)

    Potatoes, boiled with the skins on, then chilled and cubed in bite-sized pieces. (I like using both Yukon Gold and Red potatoes for this – they make a nice mix of color and flavors – but good Russets will also work)
    1 or 2 Sweet Onions (Vidalia is best, ’til the season, but Yellow will work) – dice raw into desirable size for nomming pleasure
    Just enough quality Mayonnaise of your choice to coat everything, but not make your salad soupy – “Don’t drown your food.” (Extra points if you’re old enough to remember that from Saturday mornings.)
    TO TASTE – Ground Salt, Ground Pepper, White Pepper, Celery Salt
    Chill overnight (This is crucial – it lets the flavors mingle into nommy goodness!)

  • Canned chicken, red or green peppers chopped fine, onion chopped fine, and mayonnaise. Smush that all up together. Same basic thing for potato salad, just sprinkle paprika on top. It’s best if the potatoes are boiled first. Same basic ingredients work for tinned ham, turkey, tuna, (boiled) eggs, (raw is no good.) My tossed garden salad is lettuce, onion, tomato, red or green pepper, a bit of celery is nice. Chop and rip the ingredients, toss them all together in a plastic container with the lid on and then let the juices all run together for a while. That one’s good with French dressing.

    Keep the lid on that, otherwise it will fly all over the place when you toss it. Give it a good shake, that’s the key.

  • ‘Our’ German family potato salad:

    boil potatoes (I’m not good translating measures from the metric system – or the fact that we don’t really use measures for this, so I’d say for a good family serving take about 2-3 pounds), peel them, let them cool off. Once they’re cold, cut them into slices into a big enough mixing bowl, doesn’t have to be neat slices. Dice a medium onion into fine bits, put it in a glass/ceramic bowl/microwavable container. Cover the onions with bacon bits (I’d say 1-1 1/2 cups, pinkie nail sized bits, thick cut breakfast bacon works in a jam, but really it’s best to get about a half inch think slice of bacon that you cut up yourself, but I never knew where to find that during my time in the US). Microwave them in the closed container for about a minute so that the bacon fat melts, then fill up with veggie font until the bacon/onion bits are completely covered and microwave for another minute. Pour the mixture over the potatoes and mix. And then there’s the dressing for which we use ‘Knorr Salatkrönung’ (an instant powder for salad dressing that consists mostly of dried herbs, so if something like that is not available, a gusto mix of dried herbs and a splash of vinegar will substitute) which is about two teaspoons, add 1-1 1/2 tablespoons of creme fraiche (sour cream) plus water – if that’s too complicated, a liquid ranch dressing should work as well. When mixed, the dressing should have a creamy liquid texture and the herbs should taste very strong (the potatoes soak up a lot of the taste). Pour dressing over the potatoes and mix thoroughly, add a bit of salt and pepper if the taste is too bland, and put in the fridge till it’s time to eat. You can eat the salad immediately, but the more time it has to steep, the better it’ll get.

    Well, I hope I was able to translate that alright, I think the trickiest stuff is the European ingredients, but like I said, there’s wriggle room for creativity.

  • Two salads I make often and never have leftovers.

    Tomato-cucumber-onion salad
    Slice tomatoes, cucumber, and sweet onion (I usually use two tomatoes, depending on size, half a cuke, one good-sized Vidalia or Walla-Walla type sweet onion)
    Add salad dressing (RECIPE: scant 1/2 cup red wine vinegar, 1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil, a little salt, pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, Italian seasonings, a dash of marjoram, maybe some herbes de Provence. Shake furiously.) Put in refrigerator for an hour or so.

    Pasta salad
    Whatever form of pasta I have handy (rotini, penne, etc), cooked al dente.
    Chopped onion, celery, green pepper, red pepper, halved grape tomatoes
    Cucumber-ranch (or peppercorn ranch) bottled salad dressing.
    Mix everything. Chill.

  • Succotash! Sauté chopped onions, zucchini, and corn detached from the cob. Add cooked lima or butter beans and turn off the heat. Add diced fresh tomatoes (or I just made some with sungold grape tomatoes sliced in half, which was delicious) and toss with extra virgin olive oil and salt and pepper to taste. So good! Sometimes I add herbs at the sauté stage, but if there are none on hand, it’s still nommable without. Tastes like summer.

  • one of my favourite cold salads is this beetroot salad:
    cooked potatoes
    canned beetroot
    red cabbage
    carrot (raw)
    dill pickles
    fresh dill
    red kidney beans
    salt + pepper

  • July 3, 2014 at 11:34 AM // Reply

    One of my faves, though I’ve no idea where I got the recipe, cook two packages of cheese tortellini according to package instructions, drain and stir with a tablespoon of olive oil. Chop up one red bell pepper, one green bell pepper and one small-ish sweet onion. Stir in with a bottle of Italian dressing and chill. (I prefer to make up my own Italian dressing using olive oil and a packet of Good Seasons Italian dressing.)

  • BLT macaroni sock-it-to-me salad

    Elbow macaroni or shells if you want to live dangerously
    splash of mustard
    tablespoon of Hellman’s
    salt and pepper to taste, less a little salt because of the bacon
    onion, celery, roasted red pepper, equal amounts chopped small
    splash of Franks, or whatever hot sauce you prefer. Extra hot sauce if you’re sexy.

    Stir stir stir, chill. I also put cooked eggs but that is optional. Everything in my house with Hellman’s has chopped hard-boiled egg in it.

    An hour before you eat, stir in a couple handfuls of baby spinach with a fresh dollop of mayo with your chopped tomatoes. I use roma tomatoes to avoid the extra water and seeds.

    Ten minutes before you eat, stir in your crispy bacon, saving a little for the top. Before this step take a portion for yourself and cover the spot with more bacon, as there won’t be any left for you.


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