Ask Me Anything

Here’s the deal.

I figure, I’ll offer my own neck on the interview chopping block here.

You’re free to ask me anything you want. Pop the question (er, not the marriage question, put that ring away), and drop it into the comments below. I’ll pick my favorites and will compile and answer.

Ask me about writing, personal life, this site, my books, pop culture, whatever crosses your terrible minds.

Or, don’t ask me anything, and leave me here sobbing, staring at an empty comments thread.

Your choice.

*lip quivering*


  • Ok. i’m a realist. I can understand one in your position has to balance practical considerations vs the quality of your work. That said. Do you mind painting us a model of the sort of earnings a self published writer can earn with moderate sales? i.e. 10k book sales = $10, 000 a year. Ty.

    PS I read “250 Things You Should Know About Writing” Its Boss! Which one of your books should i read next? confessions of a pen monkey or the sequel?

  • I would love to see what your desk looks like.

    Do you have a fallout shelter?

    Are you prepared for the coming apocalypse? What’s the number one item that you must have in the new post apocalyptic world?

    Have you ever considered writing poetry?

    What is your favorite non-writing activity?

    If you had absolute control of the entire universe would you still write? Would you write differently? Would you make it easier for new writers to become newly published writers?

    Do you listen to music when you write? When you edit? If so, do you listen to different music during different phases of your work?

  • Money.

    It’s that always wondered about aspect that every polite and law abiding person never broaches but secretly is curious about. I say lets get it out in the open. Talk about that huge trust fund that you live off of to give you time to squander your life away writing.

    An Architect friend of mine was asked what they would do if they won the lottery.
    “I’d practice Architecture until it ran out,” he said. (My graduate degree is Architecture so i understand the comment)

    So what pays your bills? Teaching at the local university? Your wifes’s job as a bank president? The huge royalties you have racked up by tapping into the avalanche of beginning writers with your self help writing books? The tons of money you garner with advertising slots on your busy website?

    Inquiring minds want to know. 🙂

  • Someone else asked about daily writing output. (Stole my question, Bastard) What else I’d like to know is how do you know when the story is done? How do you know you’ve revised the snot out of it and it’s ready to go?

  • 1. When you make lists, I notice they are always divisible by five (5). Are you against other divisors? Any feelings on prime numbers?

    2. As a parent of a ten month old (beautiful!) child, do you find yourself avoiding topics that before the tiny human came along wouldn’t have bothered you?

    3. Using a Haiku, could you tell us how to develop good plots?

  • B-dub is absolutely adorable. How would you react if it turned out that the newest thing terrorizing badly-dubbed Japanese citenzry were not Godzilla or Rodan, but Big Ol’ Baby B-dub?

  • Ok, lets get down to the serious questions.

    1. How did you feel when you read the book, “The Zen of Motorcycle Maintenance” written by a close friend of yours and you realized that the book was about you and not him?

    2. Have you been wondering if doing micro dots and window pane mixed with quaaludes and sopors, years ago, are now coming back to haunt you because the lifelike dreams you’ve been having lately are pretty scary?

    3. Have you ever found yourself naked at 2AM in the center of a deserted street standing on the white line watching the occasional car come zooming past, wondering if they are going to hit you? And then one flys by, does a squeeling U turn about a hundred yards away and heads back towards you and when it flys by again, you get a faceful of some liquid tossed out of the car by laughing teenagers… and you lick your lips and realize that it’s coca cola mixed with jack daniels? And the police arrive eventually and place you in the back of their car which you find surprising gritty and lumpy? And when word gets out, a few days later, of your arrest and friends ask you about it, you tell them you can’t remember a thing and ask them to fill you in because things seem to be slipping away and maybe if they told you enough times, you’d remember?
    4. Have you ever…oops, maybe this is too revealing.

    Never mind.

  • The zombie apocalypse is finally here. You’ve beaten your way into a blessedly full armoury. Weapon/ammunition is needed, fast. Which do you choose?

  • Which flash fiction story response to one of your challenges over the years is your favourite?

    If there is a contender ( or two or three ) what made it/ them stand out for you?

    Cheers, and thanks for the great blog,


  • Will you marry me?

    Oh wait. Not pop THE question? Oh. My bad.

    Um…let me think…

    Have you met professionals or do you think it’s possible for someone to be able to work full time in various disciplines? Like Writing and Art or Writing and…I don’t know….Photography? Do you think it ‘s possible to be successful at more than one artistic profession without sacrificing either?

    Pseudonymous – Yay or Nay?

    Would you ever consider coaching or mentoring other writers? (you know, like me?)

    How long does it take for you to write a novel – from rough draft to submitted draft?

  • Did you make a deliberate decision to go balls to wall– say whatever the fuck you want in your social media and writing advice — because it works with the genres that you write, or would it have been impossible for you to rope it in and play quietly?
    In other words, do you think authors should attempt to match their social media style to their publishing audience or just be themselves?

  • Do you, as many penmonkeys seem to do, have a bit of a stationery fetish? (Whoa, had to double back there and check the spelling…..didn’t want it to look as though I was asking you if you had a peverse penchant for standing still…) I know that for some, it borders on an almost cripplingly obstructive form of perfectionism – aka procrastination – but pen-tastic pedantry aside, do you secretly long for the smell of a well stocked stationery aisle? The aroma of crisp, virgin vellum punctuated with the seductive scent of a heady De Atramentis ink? If I were to infiltrate the inner sanctum of your ideas lab, would I find reams of paper, whole jenga towers of post-it notes and a veritable cornucopia of coloured pens and inks? Or are you religiously digital in your approach to your craft, with little time for the trappings of analogue accoutrements? Are you in fact, repulsed by those of us who get the creeping skin-tingles every time we’re presented with the staples of…….Staples? (And have I pissed you off with my inherent inability to restrict myself to just one question?) Enquiring minds want to know….

  • Q1: About how much money do you make per book per month? I’m just curious just how little or how much money I’ll get. A bad book tends to rank in the millions, whereas an ok book (like yours) ranks in the 100,000s, and an awesome book ranks from 10,000-1. I would just like to know so I can size up my income.

    Q2: What is the best animation software when making sprites for video games? I have a game I’m developing (we’re currently trying to finding our team of crack game designers), called Aerwood. It’s an RPG, so there’s going to be a lot of Sprite recycling. I have Gimp, so I can create awesomely detailed sprites, but I need to find a good software to make my sprites move. Oh, and anyone who is reading this, there are still jobs in the animation and programming departments. Contact me at (that includes you, Chuck). I’m trying to pay people in %s of the total profits, that way they only get paid well if they work hard, and it eliminates BSing altogether.

    Anybody on this blog who has some tips for a newb Independant Designer, if you could just leave a reply it’ll be much appreciated ^.^

  • My crime genre novel ‘London’s Falling’ is going to be published (By UK based Caffeine Nights Publishing) in August this year. I have been trying to promote it on my website can you think of any ways I can really spread the word (even going viral) about the book in the time leading up to publication?

  • Fuck, I thought you were doing this over on goodreads. Here’s my question from there…

    Mr. Wendig;

    I really liked “Double Dead”, it was labeled as a “Tome of the Dead”. Any chance of a sequel? I realize that a lot of Coburn’s issues have been delt with but, there’s still his maker.

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