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Flash Fiction Challenge: Baby Pulp

And we’re back.

Once again, with last week’s challenge (The Hotel), you crazy emmereffers came out of the woodwork and did up some amazingly cool stuff. And, once again, it’s time to re-up the stash. I mean, re-up the flash fiction challenge. Ready for another go?

Okay, so, as you may know, the wife and I are expecting our first progeny — Der Wendigspawn — in the next few months. Which means my life has become suddenly and swiftly baby-focused. Everything is crib-nursery-Pooh-poo-bottle-milk-breast-how-many-centimeters-dilated-diaper-Nuk-Bjorn-Boppy-headasplode. On this subject I’ve been commiserating with fellow expectant father-dude, Anthony “Pulptone” Schiavino. We half-joke that, come summer, people are going to see us online at 3AM, drunk, delirious, feeding our respective infants. We will be the protagonists in some crazy baby-related stories.

Then, he said this:

“…there needs to be flash fiction pulp based around babies. Lord only knows what people would come up with.“

Oh, snap.

And a flash fiction challenge was born.

Your challenge, should you choose to accept it:

BABY PULP FLASH FICTION.

It must be baby-centered.

It must be pulp. Pulp is, of course, a kind of lurid, cheap, fastly-produced genre fiction. Men’s Adventure! Noir! Space opera! Superhero! Detective! And so on, and so forth. So, in other words: baby noir! Baby superhero! Baby space opera! Baby adventure! Detective baby!

Baby Pulp.

And that’s it.

Please, no porny baby stories. I just — I mean — c’mon, no. These tales don’t need to be in good taste, but I don’t want any visits from PedoBear, you hear me?

Once again, you have 1000 words.

You have one week (let’s say next Friday, 9AM EST).

Post at your own blogs, drop a link in your blog to here, and drop a link to your blogged fiction in the comments below. Then at the end of the week I’ll tally it all up right here in this post.

Now get that pacifier out of your mouth. It’s time to fill the flash fiction diapers.

BOOM.

[EDIT, Friday 3/25/11: So, this week I’m going to not compile the links — feels like the links found in the comments work okay for most people. Plus, it gets erm, unusually time-consuming to compile all those links. Between baby class Thursday night and trying to hit Friday morning’s writing deadline, it’s a bit of a time-kill for what may be dubious value. That said, if you would rather I continue to compile them, drop a comment below and let me know. If it’s something you prefer, I’ll make sure to revive the practice with next week’s challenge.]