Archive for February, 2011
“I know you love Scotch,” is the first thing to come out of her mouth even though she hasn’t seen him for years, and she thrusts the case up and hopes he’ll take it. “This isn’t just Scotch, though, this is the real deal, a, a, a really rare…” She’s nervous. She shouldn’t be nervous. “I went through a lot to get it for you.”
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When Ernest Shackleton abandoned the trip 100 miles from its completion, he left behind his whisky. And they just found it. Someone’s going to drink it. They might even try to replicate it. It’s an awesome story all by itself. From this seed-bed of awesomeness can grow a kick-ass tale. You’ve got 1000 words.
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This is what I imagine it’s like to be a teacher in America: It’s like trying to bring God to the apes. You don’t descend into their habitat but rather, ship the apes by bus to you. There, you try illuminate the apes, but apes don’t give a grunting squat about any illumination you aim to give them.
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So, as you may know, over the Valentine’s Day weekend I went ahead and slapped IRREGULAR CREATURES up on Amazon for a wee widdle dollar (or, rather, a penny shy). How’d it do? Was it worth it? All right, cats and kittens, here’s the poop (and further thoughts on the $0.99 price tag):
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You do this writing thing day in, day out, you start to feel a little nuts. The rejections. The fictions. The criticisms. Endless words. Myriad characters. So much time. And so I give unto you: coping mechanisms. Do as I say. Do not deviate, lest you be struck down by your own lunacy.
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