Been A While Since I Rolled Them Bones

Roll Me

In tonight’s episode of Community, I am reliably informed (by their commercials — and my prophetic dreams) that the gang will be playing a little D&D.

That’s fun. But it makes me a little itchy.

It makes me itchy because I haven’t rolled the bones — meaning, I have not gamed — in quite a long time. Too long. In fact, it’s been at least eight or nine months.

By and large, it’s difficult for adult life to accommodate any kind of regular gaming. This isn’t unusual, mind — I can’t tell you how many dudes in their mid-30s who say, with a faint ember still in their eye (and the clatter of a 20-sider echoing in their brain chamber), “Oh, man! I used to game.”

And I know it’s not going to get a damn sight easier once the Tiny Monkey comes into our life, heaving everything upside-down. Frankly, I’m probably going to have to hide my dice just because they’re a choking hazard.

Kids, man. Kids. They try to eat everything. I almost choked to death on a penny when I was a tot. I can only imagine how many d10s my nascent heir will be able to jam down his windpipe.

On the one hand, I miss it. On the other hand, part of me thinks: man, I’ve got things to do. Like, I want to play video games more often, but when I do, I tend to find myself wanting to do other stuff. Sometimes, I even have these absurd moments where I think, “I’d rather be doing the dishes because the dishes need doing.” Is this adulthood? It feels like a brain parasite. Get me a coat hanger and some anti-fungal paste.

Stat!

Anyway.

This brings me to you, trusty game-heads.

First, I ask you: what are you playing these days? Anything really. I’m mostly asking about pen-and-paper stuff, but hey, unload your game-flavored goodness upon my head. Board games, video games, whatever.

Second, I beseech you: anybody found a way to play without actually sitting across the table from folks? Anybody game over Skype? Is there an iPad solution of which I’m not yet aware? Help a brother out.

Two more tiny things:

I think I might do a free PDF writing up some of my “irregular creatures” as statted-up World of Darkness monsters. Because, hey, why the fuck not? Could be fun. Shits and giggles. You know. For the kids.

Also, why the hell aren’t you watching Community again? Sheesh.