Search Term Bingo, The Epic Saga (Pt 6)
how the fuck my beard grow?
Homeless people yell this to me constantly.
Here’s how your beard grow:
With love and attention.
And also, you must consume the blood of the innocent.
i want to make a drink called miami vice
Hey, no problem. Let me be your barkeep. Your “drinkologist.” Okay, first, white dude and a black dude. So we need something white and black. Let’s say: milk and Guinness. But, Miami Vice is also Floridian, yeah? So we need that fruity 1980s component. Throw into the glass a shitload of Midori, orange juice, and coconut rum. Of course, Miami Vice also sucked really bad, so probably throw in an ounce apiece of: bat urine, hair gel, and chopped-up Jelly bracelets. Now: into a shaker, mix with ice, pour over three ounces of crushed sadness.