I Will Make Love To My iPad In Full View Of The Internet

As college buddy and old friend Rob Spidle said yesterday, “I seriously love the little iFucker.”

He’s right. It’s true. Lot to love about the iPad. Only had it a few days, but it’s hard not to see how natural it feels in the hand. Also easy to see is that it’s not just “a big iPhone.” Faster processor, bigger screen, super-crazy multi-touch, it all adds up to an experience you cannot achieve on the phone.

I ordered a case and a stand yesterday. Case: Otterbox Commuter. Stand: TwelveSouth’s Compass. Also ordered: the iPad camera connector (which if I hear right, sometimes allows other external USB devices). I did want one of the nicer more “book-like” cases, and one day I may still get one for local around-the-house hey-I’m-cool-in-coffeehouses use. But I need something right now that’s going to travel well and let me use this as a laptop replacement, something that lets me pull photos off my camera, something that protects it from my clumsiness, something that props it up for typing (going to try the straight-up on-screen typing).

Not sure about getting a stylus. I may, given some of the apps I have since procured.

Speaking of apps! Mmm. Apps. Let’s talk apps.

Flipboard: Is the first thing that really wow’ed me about the iPad. Takes social media feeds and throws them into a magazine format. It feels so natural, looks so spare and elegant, a total win. (And apparently, Jon Virtes, Flipboard’s community manager, is into RPGs?)

PlainText: Another great free app. Very simple straight-up text editing (aka “writing”) that syncs with DropBox as text files. A nice little way to take notes on the fly and know that they’re safe in the cloudosphere.

FlickStackr: Since Flickr doesn’t have an official iPad app (boo, boo, hiss, hiss), and it’s nice to see Pretty Photos Made Big, I went with this. Clean, works nice, good display, nothing really too fancy.

The Many Comic Apps: It is my opinion that the iPad’s destiny is as a comic reader. Holy crap what a beautiful experience. Clean, bright, can be read page by page or (dramatic) panel by panel. My only concern is the price point of the comics. For back issues, you generally pay $1.99. It’s a little much. If I were to buy one of the middle trades of The Walking Dead, I could buy it for $10.19 (Vol. 10, f’rex, comprises issues #55 – 60, or six total issues, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60.) But if I were to buy the six comics online, I’d pay $12.00. And have nothing to show for it, by which I mean, no physical comic book. So, I don’t buy. But! If those comics were $1.50, or better, $0.99, I’d buy the hell out of them. To clarify, at $1.99, I buy none. A buck cheaper, I buy tons. A reasonable attitude? Maybe not, but there it is. I don’t mind having non-physical music or software (or films) because those things were always non-physical. (Plus, an MP3 album remains generally cheaper than the physical counterparts and I can easily put them onto physical media.) A book or comic book has long been married to the physical experience — I take it, I put it on my shelves, I read it. I don’t have to worry that a software bug in my “book-reading app” will steal my book away. MP3s don’t have that problem. I can go and see the actual files — something I can’t always do with ebooks or e-comics. I also don’t have to worry that my physical books will one day need to be deleted to make space. Given away, maybe. Or maybe I buy new shelves. Or I trade the book with a buddy. But at no point do I “delete” the book. Does that make sense? Therein lurks my inherent distrust of e-books and e-comics, and the thing that gets me over that distrust (or further confirms it) is the price point. Jiminy Jack Jeebus that turned into a rambling rant, didn’t it? Oof. Anyway. Eager to hear your thoughts.

Corkulous: A moderately wacky fun “corkboard” program in which you can create to-do lists, post-it notes, taped comments, photos, contact information and even other corkboards (!). Inventive stuff. One thing clearly missing? String (“lines”) used to connect the various parts. That simple inclusion would allow me to create, effectively, mindmaps and outlines on a digital corkboard.

Popplet: A perhaps overly cutesy but still nicely effective… what? Visualization device? Can create mindmaps very easily, mindmaps that feature quick little drawings, text, even photos. But you could use it to create photo albums, too, or other interesting visual displays. Easy as hell to use, too.

Note Taker HD: This app is pretty wacky, and I think, I think, I love it. It’s a handwriting note-taker. You just… use your finger (or a stylus, but I don’t have one of those yet — anybody use one?) and take notes. You can take them big or small, you can change the pen size, you can export your handwritten notes to PDF, you can even write over PDFs you import (I think). It’s nice because my handwriting is awful, and here it looks no more awful than it already did. Huzzah.

Anyway. That’s what I got right now, but you can check out Rob Donoghue’s very awesome blogpost about the many super-duper things you can do with your iPad.

All is not perfect in the iPad world, mind. The wi-fi seems to occasionally suffer inexplicable slowdown. Sometimes zippy-quick. Other times it takes like, a minute or two to pull up a single email. (I know, I know, these are classic #firstworldproblems.) The screen also gets smudgy with even minor use, and the glare can be a bit problematic, but one assumes I can fix those with a good screen protector.

Flash Fiction Challenge: Vacation Hell

Boo-bam. Flash fiction challenge reminder. You in? I know you’re in.

I’ve gotten entries so far from: Keith Karabin, Patrick O’Duffy, DeAnna Knippling, and Gloria Oliver. If I should have yours and it’s not listed, throw a comment into the comment box below.

Anyway, in case you need the challenge details once again…

1.) Write a 1000 words or less piece of flash horror fiction set in and around vacation or travel.

2.) Get me those 1000 words by Monday, October 11th. You can email me the story at chuckwendig [at] terribleminds [dot] com. Please ensure that I know who you are and what this is for, yeah?

3.) I’d like at least 14 total entries, but if more arise, hey, no problem there. The more the merrier.

4.) I do not own the stories, so you are free to cross-post on your blogs. My preference would be that you wait until the day of posting here, however, but that’s entirely on you. Again, I don’t own the stories.

5.) I will do a contest at the end of it — people can come, vote on their favorites. This means I will post the stories as they are — word goblins, spelling goobers, and punctuation poo-poo included.

6.) Winner gets either a free roleplaying book of mine, signed if you care; a copy of Beauty Has Her Way, an anthology from Dark Quest Books that contains a story of mine, “The Moko-Jumbie Girl;” or a copy of Needle #2, the killer noir magazine with stories from the likes of Stephen Blackmoore, Julie Summerell, Frank Bill, and Chris F. Holm. (Which I didn’t write, but hey, if I can pimp great writers, I’ll pimp great writers.) For the record, Beauty Has Her Way isn’t out yet, and I don’t know the release date, but it’s all done and the cover’s out in the wild now, so I imagine it’s not on a slow boat or anything.

7.) The contest prize portion is only available to people who live in, say, the 48 “upper” states of these United States. International participants can still try out, but hey, you gotta pay the shipping. I’ll pay the shipping if you’re in America, but anywhere else, the bill’s on you nerds.

Nnngh, Yeah Slut, Stuff That Squash, Part II (Now With Bacon!)

Way back when, I told you exactly what you could stuff in your squash. That isn’t a euphemism, nor is it a threat — I really mean, “Hey, Stick This Shit Into An Acorn Squash.”

Now, I’m going to tell you another thing you can shove into a squash.

Use any winter squash you like — I went with Sweet Potato Squash.

Halve it. Scoop out the seed guts. Place cut-side down on a cookie sheet filled with a leetle bit of water. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes.

While that’s doing its thing, it’s time to break out the motherfucking bacon. Half a pound of good applewood smoked bacon. Chop it into bits (inch by inch squares or thereabouts) and put it in a pan over medium-high heat. Cook until the fat renders out and it starts to get just a tad crispy. Then throw into the mix one sweet apple, diced. What? You’re mad because I didn’t tell you to dice that shit beforehand. Pshhh. Figure it out. Besides, what, are you cooking this right now as you read this? Stop that. That’s silly. Read the recipe first, then do your prep. C’mon.

Fine. Fine!

Dice an apple.

Then put the diced apple parts in with the bacon.

Cook until softened.

Throw into the pan: a Tbsp of butter, a light sprinkling of brown sugar, and a light sprinkling of breadcrumbs.

By now? Squash is done in the oven. Pull out. Ditch the scummy squash water. Turn squash halves so that they are gutted-side up, then into them you shall scoop the bacon and apple mix. Pop ‘em into the oven now for ten more minutes (still at 350) until the bacon starts to get dark, crispy edges and until your kitchen smells like the breath of an angel — an angel with wings of bacon and a shiny apple bosom.

While that shit’s doing that shit, grate a cup or so of cheddar cheese.

After the ten minutes are up, sprinkle that cheese over top the stuffed squash.

Back in the hot box for another five, ten minutes, until the cheese is bubbly and melty.

Ta-da.

Another stuffed squash recipe from yours truly. Please to enjoy.

Links

Great quote from Paulo Bacigalupi on writing:

“But mostly I sat down and said, I’m not going to write a boring story. And that actually, surprisingly, solves most of your problems. Don’t dick around too much in the weeds of, oh, gee, this character’s deep interiority or anything like that. Get it done and make this character do some stuff and make stuff explode. That seems to work pretty well.” From this interview over here.

EEEE SCRIVENER FOR WINDOWS.

Did you know that squirrels masturbate to prevent sexually transmitted diseases?

Or that, to inseminate their spider-ladies, spider-lads use a needle-sharp penis? (Thanks, ogasnor!)

Julie is writing about demon clowns.

Steve Weddle: “Help Wanted.”

And that’s all she wrote.