Also — if any readers new or old feel like asking me a question (that may or may not become future blog fodder) –

http://terribleminds.tumblr.com/ask

– c.

I said it over there, and I’ll say it here as well: Congrats Pete!

Getting you to 1k followers really came down to the wire last night. Don’t ever run for President. Ever. If you do, even though you shouldn’t, don’t ever not hire myself, Maggie, or Julie to not run your shouldn’t be nonexistent campaign of nothing.

I mean, come on dude. Maggie’s mom was 1000.

Rick:

It did come down to the wire, and for that, I thank you fine folks.

Also: don’t forget to intro yourself. After all: new followers. They may go clicky-clicky on your webbyspaces. You know the drill, “Hi, I’m Rick, I’m a gall-a-holic,” etc.

– c.

We are ravenous. FEED US YOUR CODPIECE OR WE SHALL DEVOUR YOUR BRAINS.

Honestly, I think we cared more about the short story than you did. Not that you didn’t care — or maybe you didn’t, who knows? — but Jesus. I saw that ticker at 985 last night and thought, “Time to make that fucker pay.”

Up. Pay UP. Time to make that fucker pay up.

If only I had as much drive, motivation and enthusiasm for my own shit. I’d be one rich bitch if that were the case.

Also. I think I gained 6 new followers last night.

Congrats Pete! Also, good job everyone! I enjoyed reading everyone’s fiction and it was a good learning experience. If nothing else, I learned about werewolf erotica. It was also a neat thing to watch all the extra traffic to the blog. Thanks for visiting!

That leaves me with one final sentiment: DANCE, WRITER BOY! DANCE!

Maggie didn’t introduce herself, either.

You people just don’t listen. You’re like a bucking Mustang.

The horse, not the car.

*shakes fist*

Oh! Hey. CLOCKWORKS has an anniversary this week, and for some reason, Herr Doktor Shawn Gaston asked me over there to write a blogpost.

Which I did.

http://shawntionary.com/clockworks/?p=1407

– c.

And feel free to hear the last line of my above comment in a Southern twang. With banjos. It’ll help you sleep better at night.

Damn it, you got me. You’re just weird enough, in a mad-hatter kinda way. Count me in as one of your new devoted readers. LOL

@Tarrant:

Woo! Got one on the hook! Yee doggy!

… ahem, what I mean is, “Welcome!”

– c.

I don’t have a panther handy, but I have one of those little domestic cats that look like overfed midget panthers. A dwarf panther if you will. He’s being a bit of an asshole lately with his carpet eating habit. *stern look to stem the tide of inappropriate jokes before they arise* You can have him for a tidy sum.

Oh yes. Congrats to you Pete! It was a truly epic story.

Congrats to Pete! Definitely well done.

So, here we are. You’ve found it – the super secret level of Terribleminds. You see, you thought you were here to listen to Chuck Wendig, the Magic Talking Beardhead, rant on and on about writing, the Wire, and his genitalia. What you don’t know, is that Terribleminds is just a gateway. Step one. The starter.

You see, just beyond the hill over there is Wordasylum. Now, I know what you’re thinking – this must be some sort of plug. Shhh. Don’t think that. Shhh. Shhh. I know that I may share the same name, odor, and perversions as the God-Man that runs Wordasylum, but I am not the same – I am just the gatekeeper. For being a smart and special internet surfer, you get to come hang out at my site. No one else can read this. Just you. It’s just you and me. Alone. No safety net. No cops.

You’ll see me around here a lot, holding the torch. Lighting the way. It’s a selfless task but one I take for the good of the Internet. Don’t let my sacrifice go in vain!

Hold me.

Okay, I’ll bite. I’m not a new-new follower, I followed Chuck before following Chuck was cool. I’ll just go ahead and introduce myself.

*stands up and bravely faces crowd*

My name is Jason, and I’m a writer (hello Jason). I live in Detroit, I write role-playing games, and I’m a new dad. My turn-ons include spaceships, powered armor, women, motorbikes, and bourbon whiskey. And porn, of course. I also have a blog wherein I bitch about writing and games. It’s called Motor City Gamewerks, and you can find it at the above link. So, uh, yeah. That’s it. I’ll go on back to lurking now.

Congratulations, Pete! Yesterday was just about as much fun as this dork who’s been stuck in the house with cabin fever has had in ages.

Freaking climate change.

Ok, My name is Julie and you can find me at http://jasummerell.com

I’ve been Mind-Fucked (heh. I kill me) since last October when I made with the clicky on a post on Facebook by Robert McCammon and ended up on Chuck’s post about McCammon and had to interject my two cents.

It was a great post, by the way. http://terribleminds.com/ramble/2009/10/12/robert-mccammon-will-rock-your-effin-eyeface/

I live in North Central NC, and I have two small kids and a husband who’s working himself into a zombie state. I’ve been a “blogger” (bleh) since 2006, but it never occurred to me to write fiction until a few months back.

I apparently have my head so far up my ass I can lick my sinuses.

If you’re new here you should stick around. You’ll probably learn something in spite of yourself, and sometimes you’ll be rewarded for your loyalty with most excellent food porn.

Really glad we’ll be getting that story, Chuck. I feel like our efforts were not in vain.

What? You want me to introduce myself?

Fine.

Hi, I’m Maggie. I’m a mother of 3. I blog, over at Morphematics which is some bullshit word I made up because I thought it sounded cool. (And it does, doesn’t it?) As more than half the reader base here will attest, I’m slightly batshit. Of course I’m batshit. I have three kids under the age of 5. I’m lucky I haven’t started hearing voices yet.

… What? Throw Timmy in the whatsit? Obey your dog? *slaps at invisible flies* Shut up, voices. I’m trying to talk here.

Anyhoo.

I’m a writer, and I’m dipping my toes into the waters of Ye Olde Game Design, working on a post-apocalyptic western setting for a new system being developed by that fuckhead at Wordasylum. I write flash, lately, and offer it for free on my blog. Want some, come and get it.

Congrats, Chuck, but remember: With great power comes great responsibility. So, in this case, a fairly pedestrian level of responsibility. Wear the crown of fairly pedestrian level of responsibility well.

I am Justin D. Jacobson. I rock the middle initial not out of pretentious wankerism but something much darker.

I am a writer. I design and publish rpgs. I did a lot of d20 material through http://www.bluedevilgames.com. Writerly folk might be interested in my stand-alone d20 variant game based on Victorian literature: Passages. I’m presently working on Tokyo Rain, a licensed rpg based on the bestselling John Rain thriller novels of Barry Eisler. It’s about two years overdue but only because I’m really working hard to make sure it kicks ass.

None of that has anything to do with the middle initial. Here’s the dark secret: I’m a lawyer by day. I own a sizable law firm specializing in, wait for it, debt collection. I know: You hate me for my freedom. Anyway, lawyers always use their middle initials. It’s a thing. Like how members of Skull & Bones shave their undercarriage. Oh dear, I’ve said too much….

So we’re going around the table and having all the minions introduce themselves? Sure thing, boss.

Name’s John Murphy. I’m an engineer, got my PhD in robotics. Now I write network monitoring/analysis software. But that shit’s boring. I also write science fiction/mysteries, which is what brought me over to the Chuck Side in the first place. Came for the writing advice, stayed for the profanity.

I’m a semi-new follower? I jumped on just before the 1,000 for a short story thing began I think, but have been greatly enjoying the entries I’ve seen.

For the record, introduction stuff. My name is Anthony, and I’m a college student studying Japanese and Sociology that fancies himself an amateur game designer and perhaps someday, some distant far off day, a writer. I run/write Reality Refracted found at http://www.realityrefracted.com which is basically just a blog for my amateur non-professional views on gaming, specifically running and playing in Table Top RPGs.

Good to meet the newish followers like @Anthony and Jason!

The rest of you, well, c’mon. I know you people. I know your delicious stink.

– c.

Whoops, you caught me lurking.

I don’t remember where exactly, but I came across terribleminds a couple weeks ago, and dove headfirst into the archives looking for your posts on writing, as I’m currently trying to kick the ending out of a novel (and man is it painful). In retrospect, blogs and I don’t necessarily get along, as I’ll go for weeks at a time forgetting they exist, and then cross my arms and stare at them, wondering why these people are so damn prolific. “At least he’s amusing,” I say to myself, “and hell, writers should swear more.”

But I digress. I’m a student, able to drink legally, graduating in a year with no idea what the future holds, and working on this writing thing. That’s about it.

From time to time I say rude things in the comments section, but it’s just because the squinty sunglass-covered eyes and robust beard make me want to poke at Chuck like he’s a cynical baboon subjected to the fawnings (and throwings of junk food) of little children at a rundown zoo.
One day the cage will open.
God help us all.

And I am not a writer, not a story-teller, but rather a drunken lout with a heart of gold. Pyrite? Tin? Erm… discarded Bazooka Joe wrappers?

I am J.R. Blackwell. I write fiction and take photos. I’m paid to do both things, so that makes me a pro- or a semi-pro – or someone who has ceased to care about definitions. After I finished my first novel, I went to a party where Michael Swanwick told me that to write the perfect science fiction story, I needed to include the proper balance of Sodomy and Dinosaurs – and that the path to greatness was in the perfect balance of these two things.

He looked at me as if daring me to argue with him and his Hugos. I did not dare but instead petted his elderly cat and stuffed my face with strawberries. Getting into parties with cool people is my super-power, and though it’s not as awesome as flying, no one wants to dissect me to see how it works.

I’m gay-married to Jared Axelrod, who has a book coming out with Tor next year.

I have a beard, a fat suit, and I occasionally model. I used to be a burlesque girl. I spent a few years in a freak show as the contortionist. I was one of the founders of 365 Tomorrows and an early adopter to podcasting. I’m a prophet for the Flying Spaghetti Monster. My mom is an ice skater and my dad is a professional singer and the more I write about myself the more it sounds like I’m making all this shit up.

But only one thing in this message is a lie.

Introduce myself, eh?

My name is Rory. I was referred here by Kate (my wife ) a while ago and have been reading with increasing regularity and I was one of the ones to put the Twitter followers number over 1,000. I have a blog, but it’s boring and technically oriented so I won’t bother mentioning it.

I don’t consider myself a writer, but rather just someone who’s good at playing with words. I couldn’t tell a story to save my life, but I’m working on it.

I’m a Pisces and I enjoy bacon, fried food, hardboiled prose, and distorted guitars.

Congrats on the Twitter milestone and keep up the good work with this blog. I really enjoy your style.

I’m Will Hindmarch. I’m a writer and designer by trade. One day I said to Chuck, “Chuck,” I said, “Chuck, get a blog. The Internet needs to hear your song. It needs to hear you play your beard like a fiddle. Do it.” And lo, the othermucker now has more Twitter followers than I do. He’s earned them.

I blog at wordstudio.net and gameplaywright.net, though without the frequency or profanity you find here. That Gameplaywright blog is part of Gameplaywright Press, and we’ve got two books coming out this summer: The Bones: Us and Our Dice (featuring Chuck hisself!) and Hamlet’s Hit Points, by the inestimable Robin D. Laws. Plug, plug.

I shut up now.

Well, to be fair, @Will said, “Chuck, get a blog that doesn’t murder my eyes to look at,” because I’ve had this here page for 10 years. And for most of those ten years, it was not visible to anybody without Internet Explorer and a pair of glasses made from the eggshells of the dead dodo.

Will said, “Get thee WordPress, and get thee Twitter.”

And I absorbed his mighty wisdom into my mindsponge.

You really should be following Will. Stat.

– c.

A gun in the back of the neck? You think you can punk out on us and it’s gonna be something painless? One Codpiece Johnson story or else I’m heading out to PA with grandpa’s ol’ billy club. I’m gonna start on the arms and legs . . .

My name’s Pete. I started out writing ghost stories for my family when I was in second grade, and haven’t seen much need to tell the truth since. I lucked into my first professional credit when I was 16, writing for the old Star Wars RPG, and soon after got even luckier and scored the Changeling LARP book, which led to a decade writing and editing books for people who like to dress up as monsters. Along the way I also worked as a rock journalist and got to talk to all kinds of crazy people, not to mention hang out in a lot of dank rooms with people drinking beer.

For a long time, I used to think I was a novelist passing time as a game designer, until I realized I’d been putting out game books and still hadn’t earned any of my own. Much as I love doing game design, I think it’s just about time to remember why I started this thing in the first place. With that in mind, thanks to everyone who enjoyed my take on the “My Beard Come So Fat, I Wanna Do Laser” contest. It was a helluva time, and I’m looking at it as good omen for finally earning my stripes. Thanks guys. I needed something like this.

So now you have a “Legion” of followers! A literal legion! Congrats!

Now get writing!

Or, I have two MilliWheatons. Do I have that right?

Yeah, hi. I’m Andrea. I make stuff and also other stuff and sometimes people act like they care! It’s awesome. (Fine, fine, you got me. It’s pretty OK, I guess.)

Congrats on the expansion of your Twitter dominion, Mr. Wendig. Well played. I await the delicious payoff story with bated breath.

My name is the left, with a picture of some bald actor.

I wrote my first bit of fiction for a buddy on the bus when I was 14. Yeah, not as young as some of you fuzzheads, but before that I was drawing Spider-Man everywhere I could. After writing that first story though, which btw was an apocalyptic mashup dealing with robots, Planet of the Apes and Walt Disney World. It might have been all of 10 pages.

Since then I’ve toyed with the notion of being a writer, much like O’Shea mentioned in his blog today, jumping from genre to genre. I’ve think I’ve found my place with crime/thrillers with a little supernatural for flavor.

Early influences were L. Frank Baum, Dean R. Koontz (remember when he used the R and didn’t wear a hair piece?) and Robert McCammon. So if Chuck said anything bad about McCammon, I may have to beat the Codpiece Johnson out of him just out of principle.

You can find my stuff at: http://www.ronearl.com

My last story was written for Chuck’s crazy flash fiction challenge. I didn’t win. *grumble* But Pete did a great job! *grumble* The usual suspects commented on the story, but would love to hear from anyone who found time to read it. I’m needy like that.

I’m supposed to post a story for Julie Summerell’s flash fiction contest today. It’s going to be close.

I used to write and edit comics for Digital Webbing Presents.

I’ve got a wife and daughter.

A dog.

Three cats.

I’m follicly challenged, hair wise.

Have I told you enough yet?

Do I win a prize?

@Andrea:

It is only recently occurring to me that the downside of so many new followers hanging on the hook of a new short story is, uh-oh, that short story better not suck.

…

Oops.

– c.

I’m new. Not last-night new but one-of-my-friends-occasionally-retweets-your-writing-blogs new. I typically only read the writing blogs with titles/subjects that pique my curiosity. Or if I smell fresh panther.

I’m a jack-of-all-trades, master of none: an astronomy grad student who dabbles in creative writing, art, music, meteorology, philosophy, and anything else that is pathetic enough to come across my path.

@Ron:

Oh, damn, when did you hear I said something bad about McCammon? That dude’s my writing totem. Seriously — his work is why I write, period, point blank, end of story. (He and I also share an agency, a fact which daily gives me little chills.)

For the record, Ron, I liked your story. Grim and twisted, which is just how I like ‘em.

– c.

@Krystal:

Did you say fresh panther?

*drools*

*sharpens knives*

*froths at the eyes*

What I mean is: welcome!

– c.

I have yet to master the new measuring standards, so I couldn’t say if your Roman = Wheaton conversion is correct.

I’m KD. I stopped by for the first time a couple weeks ago, when a writer-friend linked one of your posts and I found it to be as addictive as panther gall.

I write random mixtures of sci fi, fantasy, steampunk, paranormal, and erotica, and I’ve been blogging about that and other things for seven years today.

@KD:

Once more, welcome. I now demand you come up with a portmanteau of steampunk, paranormal, and erotica.

– c.

No one said you said bad things about McCammon. Julie mentioned you wrote something regarding him, and had her own comment. I haven’t checked out that posting yet. I was thrilled to see him publishing again.

Thanks for comment about the story.

I think I’ll go look for that post about McCammon.

@Ron:

Whew.

You will find many-a-McCammon post here.

– c.

Huh…I think I missed this whole intro yourself command thingie earlier, but here goes…

Gloria Oliver spec fic author with four novels currently in print through several small presses in the Fantasy/YA Fantasy genres. Also have several shorts stories in an assortment of anthologies.

Sometimes I seem to be able to write, others not. Hit or miss with me it seems at times. I just keep plugging. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in this business is that all tastes are different. If you want to check out any of my stuff, there info and free chapters at http://www.gloriaoliver.com Probably too tame for this bunch though. Just saying. Lol.

As to how I ended up here? Chuck followed me one day. I followed him back. I started clicking on some of his blog posts. Eyes popped out of my head (NSFW NSFW!!!) but luckily the group I am with right now does not monitor the internet much so I’ve been safe so far. (I am an accountant by day, author whenever I can squeeze it in.) And there’s gems in here folks. Gems! So I RT them on… Bwahahahahaha!

Introduce myself?

I’m Matt. Hey.

I saw a link to the contest, and I thought I would write something. And then I saw the poll. Punctuality is not my friend. Anyway, I hope some of you moseyed over to http://ornythopter.livejournal.com/15171.html and were at least amused, or possibly even entertained. I’m not a writer in any professional sense, but I do occasionally post movie reviews and send short stories to magazines “currently receiving an extremely high volume of submissions.” You know, to practice and build confidence…

Late to the party, but better late than never.

My name is Josh. I sometimes call myself the Blue Ink Alchemist. I’m an aspiring novelist, freelance writer, occasional web designer, gamer and occupational hazard.

I try to write well and encourage others to do the same. I like emphasis on characters. I adore underlying themes. And I dig weird stuff. Vampires, space ships, time travel, demons, angels, werewolves, beards, hot girls in long coats. I’ve gotten one story and one article published and helped a guy write his autobiography. I just finished the draft of a novel that actually has a chance of getting published. I think.

I met Chuck at a gaming convention. Our beards were instantly attracted to one another. I can say no more on the subject due to the restraining order.

Chuck, what you had on your old site was no more a blog than a list of hooker names is a database. It was compelling, often funny, sometimes legible, and worthy of promotion, but it was hardly a blog.

Now what you have here is a motherfucking blog. You are a blogeur. You blog. There is a blog here and you are the bloggist who blogifies it into blogsistence.

I wrote 12 pages today and am going back to write more. I’m a tad loopy.

Bloggerel.

I was all bleary-eyed this morning when I originally commented, so I missed the opportunity to introduce myself. I tried to rectify that a few hours ago, but the internet ate my comment. It’ll probably show up on somebody else’s blog.

My name is Darren G Miller. I’m not a lawyer nor am I a pretentious wanker. I just fucking hate my first name. The whole Bewitched schtick was old long ago. I’m not overly fond of my middle name either, so I just compromise. My friends call me “D” or “Miller.”

I am at the fledgling stage of my writing endeavors. I taught music and leadership in the public schools for 14 years. A few years ago I had a large transition in my life and decided to finally pursue my dream of writing, but I was not yet mentally ready. Now, I believe that I am. I know. I have a long, hard road ahead.

I discovered Chuck about a year ago when I had some questions about a product he’d written (Ghost Stories). He was extremely nice and quite helpful, so when I finally decided to get serious about writing, I found this terrible, wonderful place. Now Chuck regrets being nice and probably even being helpful, but I’m here like gonorrhea. Not going away anytime soon. I’m the kind of cancer you have to cut out with a laser. Wait, you say you wanna do laser? Uh oh.

Leaping wallabies, I’m ornery today. Ignore me.

Hi, I’m Dawn.

I started stalking Chuck shortly after GenCon last year. My dungeon is not complete yet, so the kidnapping shall have to wait.

I’ve become the social secretary type for the Wrecking Crew, White Wolf’s senior demo team. I mostly stalk, but occasionally I come out of the shadows to speak up. One of the most awesome things for me is getting to play test Geist – and get my name in the credits. That may or may not be the reason why Geist is my favorite WW game at the moment.

Aside from gaming in all its forms, I have a lot of different hobbies including writing, art, crafts, going to college to major in Psychology with a minor in Business, being a mom of two budding gamers, and a wife.

Mostly I game, or run games, or help out Dave (the Wrecking Crew alpha), or stalk various White Wolf employees and writers past and present for my own nefarious reasons that may or may not include duct tape, plaster of paris, feathers and jumper cables.

It’s like a frigging AA meeting. So instead of Friends of Bill, we’re all Friends of Chuck.

Glad I have Chuck in my life. The old Chuck abandoned me and broke my heart. But now I can start the day again with this simple phrase, “What’s Up Chuck?”

@Ron: Did you have a previous Chuck in your life? Show us on the doll where that Chuck touched you.

@Dawn: Welcome! And tell Dave hello.

@Will: Your orneriness is welcome. I will also steal the word “bloggerel” from you. If you try to steal it back, I will bite your fingers.

@Darren: WE DO LASER.

@Josh: Our beards will intertwine and do a forbidden beard dance.

– c.

Use that bloggerel. I’ll make more.

I’m Shoe! I have a website/portfolio/blog…thing… that I put the stuff I do on. Sometimes. When I remember. Several of my blog entries are actually comments I made here that I decided ought actually be things of their own. I write a lot, but I don’t write about writing, which makes me the oddball of this lovely group of twitterpals I’ve met through Chuck (who is awesome).

I’m a creatrix! I use lots of exclamation marks, and I’m not sorry for it. I take photographs; I paint and draw and such, I own a collaborative fiction website hosting five time periods set in an Alternate History London. I have (currently) blue hair and også a blue fish named Phineas. I knit a lot, and sew on a 70s Kenmore that inspires me to terrible poetry. I’ve recently taught myself to play the ukulele, and I have been writing songs and such; I have no idea what I’m doing. It’s pretty fun!

If you are awesome, we should be pals!

I now demand you come up with a portmanteau of steampunk, paranormal, and erotica.

parastetica? Eroparasteam?

Eronormal steamtica.

eropunk steamnormal

Steamy paraSEX!

I think we have a winner.

Ero-Steam with a chance of Shoggoths! MY FAVOURITE GENRE.