Barkeep? Another Refill Over Here

*daintily throws up in a shirt pocket*

Yesterday, by the graciousness of our hosts, we drank something called a “fuzzy duck.” And when I say, “drank something,” what I really mean is, “drank many somethings.” I think we each had three, maybe four of those fuzzy ducks — which at alternate times were mistakenly referred to as fluffy ducks, fluzzy ducks, and fuffy ducks. It’s a horse-kick of a drink — it has rum, schnapps, gin, and a handful of other toothy boozers (though some recipes online have the drink as coconut rum and Bailey’s). It’s a sweet drink, too, and sweet drinks are a seductive danger. “These are like fruit punch! I’ll have seven! I’m so thirsty! Yum.”

We drank those in highball-size glasses.

Then we played Bocce ball.

And then, somewhere in the middle of that came the sangrias.

These were not in highball-size glasses.

These were in glasses, ohhh, let’s just say, “as big as a fat man’s arm.” That may be an exaggeration in retrospect, but needless to say we more than doubled the size of the prior drink, and had just as many.

Somewhere in there, we played more Bocce ball.

Also, a tree branch attacked my face.

Then food. Grilled salad. Local-caught scallops. Steak. And cupcakes.

Then, we taped up a cat.

It was that kind of night, is what I’m saying. A good day, a great time, thumbs-up, hurrah.

This morning, I’m not hungover.

But I am bleary. Weary. Winkin, blinkin, nod.

And I don’t know what to talk about over here. I’m at a loss. A big empty gulf of nuthin’ no-how nuh-uh. Which is where you come in.

Yesterday, I had many refills on drinks.

Today, I’d like many refills on blog topics.

(See how I tied that shit together? See how I moved from one topic into another? Smoothly? No turbulence on that transition? I’m a writer, motherbitches. It’s just how I do. It’s my job. *drops the mic*)

I’ll do this periodically, this thing where I ask you to help me come up with some Fresh Hot Bloggery to spackle across your eyes. Y’know, ’cause I’m a lazy shit, basically.

So, you tell me: what do you want me to blog about? Anything at all. Writing, boozing, gaming, bearding, philosophizing, pot-stirring, fooding. Whatever it is you want me to babble about, I wanna know. Get on the horn. Slide your greasy mitts down there to the keyboard and the comment box. Do it. Don’t make me blubber and sob. (“‘Blubber and Sob: Cop Team Of The New Millennium,’ coming soon to ABC television.”)


  • Hmmm…

    Oh! You should write about the process of developing a RPG book, because I’m doing that now and I have fuck all idea what I’m doing.

  • I too am in Shawn’s boat. Building an RPG from the ground up is fucking hard, and scary, and there’s an astonishing dearth of literature readily available about it.

    Now, I’ve got enough references around the house, going all the way back to the Old World of Darkness, that I can muddle through it, but there’s not a whole lot of information available to someone who’s trying to research the industry before setting toe in the water.

  • I third, or is it fourth at this point, the “developing an rpg” post. Some old articles on The Forge got me to the outline phase. Now I’m just floundering forward using resources as examples. Anything helpful is welcome.

    Also, I’ll re-suggest Time Management for Writers, as in “fitting writing in with all the other shit you have to do every day.”

  • I just came back from a very cool convention/expo (MCM London), so maybe a brief look back at the best cons/expos/trade fairs/whatevs you attended? Best moments of those? Greatest people you’ve met there? What can a writer learn from those?

    You know, stuff.

    Also, you say you taped a cat. Now, your tips on taping a catgirl? :3 (I learnt that emoticon from anime fans. Anime fans have the best emoticons)

  • Well now, this is a funny coincidence: your decision to use the Modesty Topos on a Sunday; the fact that I had an AWESOME DREAM last night.

    And really, instead of me having to do any actual work, everyone should blog about my dreams. They really are THAT good. As a one time only offer, I’m laying my subconscious out to you…

    …with an element of challenge. I won’t tell you my dream, only three elements thereof:

    1. a Chupacabra that prefers German beers to goat’s blood
    2. Jayne Mansfield’s missing bullet bra
    3. the lost moustache deity of Coatzacoalcos

    If you can get ANY story, worth or meaning out of those three things, you can have ‘em all.

  • I’d like to hear (or rather, read) your thoughts on openings. How do you get started on a story? What’re the best ways to do it? How do you feel about ‘in medias res’ and the notion that you should start the yarn as late as possible?

    And once you get started, how do you keep going?

  • Josh – it’s a year or so back at this point, but Chuck did a post back in the olden times of 2009 about not starting at the beginning that actually really helped shape how I started Clockworks.

  • Blog about drinking (more often). It’s always great to talk about drinking. Wasn’t that Hemmingway’s way of writing? “Write drunk, edit sober” (or as I think the quote went).

    I think we need to figure out a way to get you on Three Sheets with Zane Lamprey. Ever watched that show? It’s crazy the stuff he’ll drink in foreign countries. Sometimes I cringe and make nose-wrinkling faces at the thought, but we all know that I’d probably try it so long as it was alcohol. Somehow, I think you’re very much the same.

  • If you write a piece of flash fiction using all 3 dream elements, I’ll found a whiskey-based religion in your name and keep the house of worship decently stocked with single malt.

    • Kate:

      If I get to 1000 followers by June 20th and am thus required to write a Codpiece Johnson short story, I may very well include all three elements in that story.

      Thus I kill two birds with one stone: satisfying the promise, and earning whiskey-based worship.


      — c.

  • How to take the bobby socks off a wussy short story and turn it into a real ass kicker.

    Advice on active vs. passive voice

    Exciting ways to introduce characters without losing the flow of the scene.

    Tips on wrapping it up before the forth epilogue.

    Creative sources for developing supernatural characters.

    Common traps to avoid in the professional writing world.

    • @Tome, Filamena:

      Awesome. Like all that.

      Endings is a toughie, which means it’s a goodie.

      Emotional Core (hereby referred to as EMOCORE): yes! Yes. Totally forgot about that. See? Glad I did this post.

      — c.

  • Endings. Did you do endings? I hate that part and I never do it right.

    You threw off a term in an earlier post, I asked about it, I forget. Core something. Emotional Core? (I think you were talking about truth and other nonsense.) Something like that.

    I might have had other stuff, but I forget because I have a house full of sick babies.

  • “If you write a piece of flash fiction using all 3 dream elements, I’ll found a whiskey-based religion in your name and keep the house of worship decently stocked with single malt.”

    Kate, you should do that, anyway.

    Reminds me, all I’ve got left is half a bottle of Glenfiddich. Where the hell did all my good scotch go?

    Oh… right.

  • Oh man, if you write about endings, can you do so before Sunday (the 6th), when Clockworks: the Home Game wraps up? I realize a RPG campaign finale and a book/whatever finale are different beasts, but man I am more than a bit nervous.

    • Shawn:

      It’s definitely a brain-worm. Even though I haven’t even begun to write the next novel, I am in the planning phases and would like to have an idea of the ending before I begin.

      Which makes me ask:

      “What is a good ending?”

      Which is really how the blog post might go. A rambling examination of what constitutes a good, or even a great, ending.

      — c.

  • Re: Emocore

    Fair warning…

    If you start playing Dashboard Confessional or Jimmy Eats World, or develop an emover hair style, I may have to put you down.

    Because I love you.

  • Chuck,
    I’d like to see you blog about a bunch of -est things. You know, the gross-est thing you’ve ever eaten. The yucky-est thing you’ve ever imbibed. The fat-test woman you’ve ever…oh, you get the idea.

  • In times of writer’s block, or in this case, a “bloggery block” the author is often at the cusp of an epiphany or an advancement forward from a lengthy creative plateau. I say use these Summer months to explore previously unexplored writing genre’s. Be interesting to read how an accomplished crime fiction writer tackles a story where no one dies. Perhaps an adventure in which a man finds contentment in simplicity from a life of complications. Oh wait, maybe I should be writing about that! Hey man! thanks for your help!

  • Surely there is a blog post somewhere in this link:
    As a writer you must have an opinion on this sort of stuff – some of it borders on fantasy – flesh eating ferrets, for example.

    I also really liked your art vs craft discussion in regards to writing. I was watching Bob Ross on PBS (“happy little trees” guy) and to me he was a crafter, but no doubt is considered by some an artist. LIkewise Thomas Kinkade, but he is disturbing on many levels, so never mind. Is there nothing between Van Gough and Bob Ross? I know you are a writer, not a painter, but I think the same distinction applies. I don’t know, I just come here to read things cause you write good.

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