Painting With Shotguns XXXV
Shotgun. Shells. Blow open your skull. Blah blah blah.
Last Night, on Lost (Or, “How I Learned To Hate The Narrative”)
First, hey! Gonna be some light spoilers here. I’m not really interested in talking much about the actual mysteries answered, though, and am more interested in discussing how they did it, and why I’m not necessarily a fan.
Second, psst, I didn’t really hate the narrative. It’s just — this is the Internet. The word hate is so easy to type! And fun, too! Here, on the Internet, we’re all five-year-olds who say, “I hate you and I hope you die!” except we don’t have a collective mother to step in and say, “You don’t mean that.”
Okay, let’s get into it.
Last night’s episode was an hour-long reveal of the rise and fall of Jacob and the Man-In-Black (aka Not-Locke, UnLocke, Darth Locke, Esau, Smokey, Puffy, Titus Welliver).
We probably needed this story to be told. There exists a part of me that says, “But they could’ve remained mysterious in much the same way God or the characters in the Bible remain mysterious,” though I’m not sure that’d actually fly so high. If we’re to assume that the creators have planned this as a part of the Lost story from the beginning, it would feel a bit like dirty pool to not include this story somehow.
It’s the “somehow” that gets me.
Did the story need to be told like this?
It’s a myth, in a way, and so I almost wish it was treated like a myth. Would it have been too clumsy to have one of the characters actually tell the story during the show? On paper, that sounds like a terrible idea, and one unfit for the visual medium of television, but imagine the story framed through, say, Locke’s words. Terry O’Quinn’s a great goddamn actor, and I bet he could’ve pulled it off. Plus, him telling it would still leave the niggling question of: is he lying? Is he embellishing? Or omitting? Further, that story reflected through Darth Locke’s words would’ve had a nice emotional twist to it.
Did you see this week’s House? Or, do you remember the House the finale where our grumpy Snakes-on-a-Cane doctor has to reconstruct the bus crash? Both episodes play with the narrative and how we as the audience see it. It was an exercise in suspense-building and how you piece puzzles like that together, and an exercise I feel remains particularly effective.
I would’ve liked that, here. On Lost. Some tricky way of delivering the answers while still acknowledging the mystery — and perhaps still allowing us to visit with the “current” (quote marks totally necessary) timeline. What if Desmond, in his fall, was capable of crossing time and space and watching some of this Jacob slash Darth Locke slash Crone Mother thing unfold? Or, what if that story wasn’t like this at all, and was a story told painted on a cave wall somewhere so that we, the audience, are left to interpret its meaning?
It just felt a little… forthright, to me. A little overt. And this is not an obvious story, and a more subtle, artful hand might’ve turned this story into a more memorable episode rather than one that frustrated me in its telling. (I still liked the episode well enough and it still leaves me with enough questions.)
Der Wendighaus, v2.0: Time To Upgrade Our Murder Hole
That image above is the destruction of my childhood home, if you care. Yep. A 200+ year old house obliterated by some dude who owns a series of crappy bars. Replaced with an ugly modern monstrosity.
Anyway. Hey! We’re in the market to buy a house.
I even think we found one we want. We’re going to see it again tonight. It was literally the first house we looked at online and in person. My wife started to panic: “We shouldn’t just jump into anything.” My response is that, hey, this isn’t a game. We don’t level up and do better the longer we play. This is “thread-the-needle” time. You see an opening, you aim for the goal.
But, who knows? The process is a long and weird one. Potentially.
So I ask: anybody got advice? We’ve done this once before, this house-buying debacle, and it was not necessarily a pleasant one. Of course, this most recent time we afforded an old-ass row home next to some, I dunno, meth cookers (i.e. our current Wendighaus). So, advice #1 needn’t be: “Don’t buy an old-ass row home next to some meth cookers,” because we already have that sagely nugget tucked in our pockets.
But, even having gone through it once already, it remains a mad and mysterious endeavor.
Taking advice, now.
Also, taking advice on selling a house, too, since that’ll be coming up next.
Do Not Judge A Facebook By Its Cover
Can I just say, goddamn I make a sexy lady.
And by “sexy” I mean, OH GOD THE FRANKENSTEIN TRANNY WITH THE SUNGLASSES IS TEARING OFF MY LEG AND BEATING ME IN THE EYES WITH MY OWN SPURTING LIMB AAAUUGHBRRBLGRBpppbbt — !
It’s kind of a dopey site, and I think my purpose there has gotten muddled. I do like that there exists a kind of instant “call-and-response” that you don’t necessarily get from other sites. What I don’t like is that I’ve so muddied my “friend pool” with people I don’t even know much less consider “an Internet buddy.”
Do you continue to use the Faceybooks? Whyfor? Should I wander over there more often? Seems the only time I find my way there for any length of time is when I’m half-drunk.
I’m tempted to either:
a) engage more
b) eject from Facebook entirely.
Comments? Questions? Prayer requests? Marriage proposals? Death threats?
You Got To Work It Work It
Some quickity work updates in 3… 2… 1…
Man, I still don’t know when Collapsus will get an international release online. I want to show it to you. Can’t yet, though. Soon, I hope? I haven’t heard a darn thing.
Also: did you know I’m doing some additional work on Danse Macabre? I am. Some extra word count and, oh! Hey. I’m throwing in some development time on it, too. Can’t say much, but I can say that hot damn, do I love me some vampires, and in particular, Vampire: The Requiem.
Our script is out the door, off to greener pastures. Wish it luck. More news incoming on that one as the days go on. Plus, the transmedia components have gotten some boosts lately. More on that as I can talk about it.
We hear more about the TV project soon, I think, but we heard early good word, so.
No news on the novel. It’s out there, the fumbling foal, just trying to find a teat.
Got my contracts for The Bones by the Gameplaywright boys. I’m honored as all heck to be a part of that book in a couple different ways and am in truly admirable company.
I hear whispers of “new work” on the horizon, too.
So, work continues.
Whatchoo got goin’ on, peeps?
How The Link Sausage Is Made
I’ll say no more than this: Dropbox is awesome, and if you’re not using it, you’re a kaka-poopoo-doody-head.
Earlier, I mentioned a “murder hole.” I can’t take credit for that. That comes from the brilliant John Hornor, who just schooled us all on how to do cool shit to pimp your book. He did an awesome interactive map for his novel (which is out for submission). Hell, it doesn’t just have one murder hole. It has “North Murder Hole” and “South Murder Hole.” I now envision a man from NMH and a woman from SMH and they want to get together but they cannot: a zombie-apocalypse version of Romeo and Juliet, spattered in forbidden love and drippy viscera.
Want to know what it’s like to freelance for a year? Jeff Tidball at Gameplaywright has your back. And a wolf at the door has his back, so. There’s that.
The Gravity of Mammon is up to… what? Chapter 10? Goddamn. I have some catch-up to do.
Why Subplot? This is why subplot.
Julie Summerell. Flash fiction. “Under the Carpet.” Go.
You best glaze these nuts, son.
And that’s all she wrote.