It’s That Time Again: Ask Me Some Shit

I swear, I’m not completely farking lazy.

Thing is, I’m just about out the door.

I would’ve written a post last night, but c’mon. I was full from dinner. And drinks. And I was watching The Wire, season three with the wife. And I was eating honey-lavender ice cream. C’mon. C’mon.

What I’m saying is, I don’t have time for a right proper post.

But you people love me. I know you do. You keep leaving me dead squirrels — sans head — on my doorstep. (That’s totally you, right? Fess up. I mean, “dead squirrel” does still equal “love,” right?)

Today, it’s an open forum. It’s chaos. It’s an empty chalkboard, and I’m handing you the chalk.

Fuck Formspring and alla that.

You want to ask me something, ask away.

I talk a lot about writing, so that’s a good place to start — if you have writing questions, I’ll see if I can’t tackle ‘em. But we won’t limit it to that. Anything in the world is fair game — just tack a question mark on the end of it and jam it up into the comment box. If it’s robust enough, it might end up as a blog post, but otherwise, I’ll try to answer everything.


  • Alright, so here is the deal.

    Maggie and I ended switching up to horde side, because this late in the expansion we needed a change. We found a really cool guild that hits it on both factions, so we ended finding a very cool group of people on both sides of the fence, so I can basically get my orc on without having to leave hippy the human behind (and don’t get me started on my space blueberry). It’s good to be playing horde again; it was the faction I really liked, and Maggie forced me to go Alliance back in the day to rp something she could erp with (Goldshire 4ever!).

    I am hitting up a shammie now, and though I love enhancement (and that’s how I leveled) they really don’t need more melee, so I respeccced ele and now I am spamming lightning faster than a kid with parkisons on a shaggy carpet. Thing is, I just faction popped my warrior over (How now, brown cow?) and I have access to him again on my beloved Zug Zugs. If I play him, I can either tank or deeps but I am just not sure what I want to do. So, the question is, do you want any toast?

  • @Rick – resto! Resto!

    @Chuck – Am I going to be able to buy “Chuck’s Chuck: A Novel by Chuck” any time soon? I don’t remember what it’s really called. Hurr.

  • How much wood would a Chuck-Chuck chuck, if a Chuck-Chuck could chuck wood?

    … I also just realized how silly the word “Chuck” sounds. Chuckchuckchuck. Teeheehee.

    @Danielle I’m the Resto shammy. He likes this “DPS” thing I keep hearing about.

  • Yeah, my dual specs. #1 – Enhancement (Geared for PVP because I hate myself). #2 – Elemental, because critting every second (even when not playing) is erection-worthy.

  • Lets talk about when you are around 80,000 wds into a MS and suddenly it hits you that it has taken so many twists and turns – that you need to go back to square one – not scrap what you have done, but that it has completely gone in another direction. Now, this is not necessarily a bad thing, but you have to completely re-think what ever message (if you even had one) it was that you were attempting to get across…oh I don’t even know what the hell I am talking about here, thats how f***ing confused I am right now. Anyone familiar with this wonderful feeling of “I don’t know what the F** I’m doing?”


  • OK, so I’m, oh, knee-deep in a mystery story that I suspect wants to be a novel. I’ve got six suspects milling about (in the day or so before the story actually starts) and I am having a horrible, horrible time keeping track of their movements. I keep thinking, “Wait, where was this bastard just before lunch? Could he have seen this?” It’s getting to the point where I want to lock them all in their rooms. Any ideas for keeping this all straight?

    (Also, how the heck do I make it so that my wordpress account picture shows up when I comment? It happened, like, once. Then never again)

  • @Rick:

    I fucking love toast. Seriously. Whatever with your whole tank-Zug-spec-turd-whatever.

    I am a fan of toast. I will fucking kill a guy for some delicious toast.

    — c.

  • @Julie:

    I rarely dance. If I dance, I do so to purposefully look like a moron, which is better than accidentally looking like a moron.

    Drunk for me does not equal dance.

    — c.

  • @Josh:


    My thoughts on current multiplayer shooters?

    My wish list for shooters?

    My hope for upcoming shooters?

    My “teabag” technique when I frag some 12-year-old ass-wit?

    — c.

  • @Danielle:

    Chuck’s Chuck: A Novel By Chuck?

    Chuckscious: Based On The Novel “Chuck” By “Chuckfire?”

    Do you mean “Blackbirds?”

    I don’t know if you’ll be able to buy it. Hope so. Agent’s hopefully going to sell that emmereffer and then we’re in business.

    — c.

  • @Tina and @John:

    Actually, answer for you guys is the same.

    Planning, planning, planning. Writing is only partly about the actual “sit down bang out words” — plan as much as you can. Draw maps. Outlines. Mind-maps. Actual maps. Write a schedule for the characters in Excel — you know how a detective has to piece together clues for a murder mystery? Or how a killer would have to plot all the steps in his journey to kill a dude before doing it? Writers don’t do that stuff often enough. Put yourself in the role of “planner” — if you were going on vacation you’d need to plan your vacation (go here, be there, catch this train), It’s like that. Get the details down, and then you’ll feel more comfortable writing the material that encompasses those details.

    — c.

    • @Josh —

      I… like multiplayer shooters? I wish more existed that acted like MMOs above, say, standard shooters?

      I have COD:MW2, and I like that quite a lot. Need to nab the next map pack, actually, but haven’t had a lot of time.

      I like shooters because they don’t take a great deal of time out of my life (or “intellectual energy”) but more and more, I find video games to be more a troublesome distraction rather than a helpful one. Frankly, I’d rather be writing.

      I don’t really know what’s upcoming. I’m blanking on the name, but there’s a pretty slick one hitting from Bethesda? Blink or something like that?

      I’ve heard good stuff about Bad Company 2.

      What else is coming up?

      — c.

  • I have something that I wanted to kick my own ass for not bringing up when you asked for blog post suggestions. Since I’m dealing with time management right now, can you sketch out a typical weekly schedule for you? I’m interested to know how you divvy things up, like writing, research, blog reading, blog posting, feeding the garden, watering the dog. Wait, I said that wrong. So can you run us through your weekly routine in some near future blog post?

    Thanks! Now, even if you don’t answer I can stop stretching on prep for a god self ass-kicking.

    • @Darren:

      Dang, my week’s pretty boring. I have to wonder if it’s really worth a whole blog post?

      I could do it, I guess — at least to divvy up my writing/editing/masturbating time.

      — c.

  • Since you’re doing work for the screen, are you a part of the Writer’s Guild? Is there a professional difference between Writer’s Guild East and Writer’s Guild West other than their HQs?

    • @Tome:

      WGE and WGW have differences (in dues costs, for one), but I don’t know how substantial they are.

      I do not belong to either, as I do not yet have the credits to belong. If I needed it, I could get in because I am “doing work” and could be sponsored accordingly to gain membership at an “associate” level or some such, but at present I’m not sure of the rewards. I’d have to pay dues, so.

      — c.

  • @Chuck –

    Honestly, I’m not too sure. I’m just rediscovering the fun that can be had in a co-operative shooting environment. I play the hell out of Borderlands yesterday, and just reviewed Team Fortress 2.

    Thoughts on either of those?

    • @Josh:

      Just deposited by TF2 thoughts at your own space, coincidentally. :)

      Haven’t played Borderlands. Hear good things, though.

      I much prefer games that allow team-play or co-op endeavors over straight-up one on one competition. Problem is, as you cite on your page, you run into a real contingent of shitheads out there. Lots of needlessly racist or inflammatory language, especially over Xbox Live. PC you probably get a slightly better, more refined community… but, then, I have to buy a PC game and Pray To All The Gods That Will Hear Me that the goddamn computer will run it.

      — c.

  • If you could seize any title for yourself what would it be?


    What would you consider to be the most important aspect of a time travel rpg: Exploring new time periods or the ability to affect change across time? Or is there some other aspect I’m overlooking?

    • JtG:

      Title: “Sir,” perhaps. Or “Imperator Rex.” Or “Doctor.” Or “Sir Doctor Imperator Rex.”

      Time Travel RPG: Affecting change is the biggest thing I’d be interested in. A concise (well, ideally) system could knock that out of the park. But “new time periods” is like, only critical for supplements — it’s the same way that a modern-day RPG needn’t be over-concerned with every city on the face of the earth, but rather, good rules and interesting premise.

      — c.

  • First, glad to hear your moms is home and ok.
    Now, I know I am late to the question and answer game here. But if there is still time for completely random queries…
    How did you become a Chuck? Having just had a baby and naming him Charles, I wonder about his nickname future. Being a Chuck – do you recommend it? Pros? Cons? Would you be a Charlie if you could go back? He’s Charlie and CJ so far, but 3 months in it is hard to really say what will stick, and more than likely some first grade bully will determine it anyway, unless he becomes the first grade bully. In which case, what do you recommend?
    I often wonder, should I have been a Beth? Lisbeth? Lisa? Elisa? Would that have made life easier, better, shinier? Ok, I don’t often wonder it. I just thought about it now. But now that it’s out there, perhaps it’s time for a facelift, or, a namelift!
    Ok, I need more coffee. Or less. Either way – any thoughts on the topic would be appreciated.

    Yours truly,

    • :)


      My Dad was Charlie, and for a long time I was Little Charley. (Not really sure where the ‘ie’ and ‘ey’ difference arose.)

      Which is fine when you’re eight.

      But when you start approaching your teens, you don’t so much want that.

      So, I changed up — Chuck it was. For differentiation.

      I don’t mind Charlie, or Charley. Chuck was just something to keep it separate from my Dad and to keep the epithet of “Little” out from the front of my name. :)

      Congratulations on giving birth to a whole new Charles! He will receive his invitation to the Order Of Charlies when he is 13 years of age.

      — c.

  • “I swear, I’m not completely farking lazy.”

    Imagine my surprise when I come back from a weekend hiatus from the blog world and see that you’ve made AWESOME USE OF MY MADE-UP SWEAR WORD! Now, I guess I can’t technically claim that I came up with it. I mean, I suppose it’s possible someone else (such as yourself) could’ve thought of it before me, but I will swear that I’d never heard it before I started using it myself. See reference from one of my blog posts below.

    “…who the fark doesn’t want that kind of flattery? (btw, fark is my new favorite made-up swear word. it’s fun to say. try it. i’m going for a global trend here, people.)”

    I love that farking word. Isn’t it uber-fun to say? ;) Later, Chuck-meister.

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