A short one today since, well, I’m not actually around to write a new blog post. Rather, I’ll be at SimCon. So, you get this, instead.

Actually, this post is just to offer a bit of odd Pauley Perrette-related weirdness.

See, Miss Abby From NCIS (who looks great, especially considering she’s in her 40s) got a very high ranking on the so-called “Q Score,” which doesn’t measure raw recognizability (not a word) but instead measures just how much people love and respect that celebrity. [Story here.] This means she ranks higher than… well, just about everybody outside Tom Hanks and Morgan Freeman.

This explains a lot, really.

It explains, most particularly, why when I mention her, I get a sudden inrush of hits. I get hits from people looking for Pauley Perrette-related news and information, and then I get hits from people who want to see her debased in a million pornographic ways.

I don’t know what they think they’re going to find? Like maybe she has a secret background in snuff films?

I dunno.

What I do know is that NCIS is obviously a ratings juggernaut (most popular show on television, at least as far as narrative series go), and I’m now wondering if the reason for that is her. Navy? Forensics? Murders? Pfah! The cult of Pauley rep-ruh-zent, yo.

As such, I suppose it’s time to renew my contract with the dread mistress of Goth Forensics.

Let’s play a game and see if we can’t get any pings on these search terms over the next couple weeks, shall we?

Pauley Perrette klismophilia

Abby from NCIS enema town!

Goth Forensics Monkey Porn

Pauley Perrette is a hermaphrodite!

Pauley Perrette from NCIS is dating Lady Gaga!

Abby from NCIS LSD stickers!

All holes filled with hard Pauley Perrette!

Abby From NCIS Dominatrix

Abby from NCIS has sex with Mark Harmon on top of a robot!

And so on.

It’s also worth noting, perhaps, that the Q Score chart also reveals Mike Rowe (from Dirty Jobs fame and those Ford commercials) to be particularly likable. So, to appease the ladies, I offer:

Hmm? Though really, I’m partial to this one:

I mean, if only because it makes use of the term: “sheep castrator.”

Anyway.

I offer one last appeasement to the Search Term Optimization gods, and that is, again, my INTERNET DESTROYER IMAGE, the END OF THE DIGITAL WORLD, my Pauley Perrette slash Avatar mashup: