Comments on: Painting With Shotguns XXV

By: terribleminds

terribleminds — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 20:03:25 +0000

I just read it, and my mouth is watery.

By: Peter Sturdee

Peter Sturdee — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 20:02:40 +0000

Okay, no one’s going to read this, but what the hell, I have oatmeal awesomeness to share.

Cook your oatmeal with only water and a pinch of salt. Fry up a couple of strips of bacon until they are crispy. Break the bacon into small pieces (or cut them), stir into the oatmeal and savour god’s only perfect food.

By: Laura K Curtis

Laura K Curtis — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 17:09:40 +0000

John the Great – our dog is also allergic to gluten. Along with oats, bran, rice…. I recommend trying a fish and potato food. That’s what ours is on. Be sure to check the ingredients because what you want is foods and treats with just those two ingredients.

Chuck – yep, that balsamic vinegar. Basically, it’s just like putting a vinaigrette dressing on your avocado, but why bother with allthe other ingredients, when what you really want is that tart sweetness?

By: Dan O'Shea

Dan O'Shea — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 05:41:13 +0000

OK, Chuckmeister, taxes.
Whomever above, and I AM too fucking lazy to go back and look, so just shut up, is kinda right about TurboTax or any of the other good software programs. If you’re not asking theoretical questions and just want to ensure you’re doing a good job with your current facts and circumstances, then those programs aren’t bad. Now, TT might not have pointed out the book deduction (and I’m not positive you’d get away with that one on audit, though you could make a case) but whatever it might miss is likely going to be less than the fee you pay to an accountant.
Where an accountant could help is with issues like, oh, should I consider changing entity. What are you now? Sole Prop? If so, I know all I gotta do is say “self-employment tax” to make your bung hole pucker up like Aunt Mable’s kisser. Now, you could become a C Corp and skip out on self employment taxes, but then you’d pay corporate taxes. There’ve been some guys making hay telling folk all they gotta do is become an Sub-S corp, then they can skip self employment taxes by paying themselves minimal if any salary and instead paying themselves non-taxable dividends. Problem is, if you don’t pay yourself a reasonable salary out of your sub-s earnings, then that there approach equals fraud – and it’s something the IRS is pretty hep to. Trust me, getting caught with your winkie in the fraud jar will make paying SE taxes seem like buying gum. Now, you could set up a Sub S, pay yourself a reasonable salary and perhaps skip some SE tax by also paying yourself some dividends – problem is, it hard to justify that any earnings are dividends if your Sub S earnings are primarily due to personally providing services. But it can be worth a discussion with an accountant to explore some options – if some alternative strategy makes sense, you can probably go back to doing the annual compliance yourself.
I assume you’re doing the usual s—home office deductions, set up a SEP to shelter some retirement income, etc. Does your wife work, or do any work for you? My wife used to do some of my office stuff – billings, proofreading, lining up interview times, etc. There can be tax advantages to having an employee and having two earners in a house, but, again, they are facts-and-circumstance driven. After talking it over with an accountant, we took an annual “business retreat” trip a couple of times, always somewhere nice. We did have an actual agenda of items to discuss about the future of the business, and we did actually discuss them, but we could have done it at home. Nice way to write off a vacation, and not something I could have done if she hadn’t been an employee. Also, we had a corporal punishment policy . . . oh, yeah, taxes. Sorry, never mind.
And, of course, you should invest in a series of progressively larger dildos and a big ol’ tub of KY. Start with the smallest and work your way up until you’re riding that Douglas Spruce sized puppy like Roy Rodgers on Trigger. Then it will burn less each April when the Feds ease their way up your backside to make their withdrawal.
Please keep in mind that I ain’t an accountant – just a misguided English/Philosophy/History major who has toiled in the accounting marketing salt mines lo these many years.

By: Rick Carroll

Rick Carroll — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 03:40:26 +0000

@PaulD: This plumber? http://gaygamer.net/images/daddymario.jpg

By: Paul DeLaurentis

Paul DeLaurentis — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 01:43:54 +0000

Salsa.

6-8 vine ripened tomatoes, peeled and chopped (If you use the crappy Beefsteak tomatoes, a burly Italian plumber will come to your house and hurl magical fire balls at you)
2 white or yellow onions chopped
1 green pepper, peeled and chopped
1 red pepper, peeled and chopped
3 green chili, chopped fine (Or you can use Jalepeno or Habenero peppers)
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 cup cilantro, chopped
1 5.5 oz can tomato paste (I prefer Hunt’s)
1/2 cup white vinegar
1 tbsp granulated sugar
1 tsp sea salt
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1 tblspn Sriracha chili sauce (Rooster Sauce…google it if you don’t know what I’m talking about)

Put all of this in a Dutch Oven and bring to a boil. Immediately reduce heat to a simmer. Let this mix simmer for 2 hours stirring every 15 minutes or until desired consistency is reached. Ladle it into a Tupperware container or jars and refrigerate. Let the mixture cool for at least an hour before serving.

By: John the Great

John the Great — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 01:11:13 +0000

STOP DISCRIMINATING AGAINST MY PEOPLE, CHUCK! Goblins have it hard enough in such racist films as LotR and in those Warhammer games…I can’t believe you’d accuse us of wrecking your site!

My dog, which looks just like your dog but twice as tall, also came from a pet store and also has a ton of allergies. My dog is allergic to gluten. GLUTEN! Of all things, she’s allergic to it. My dog is also a lovable sort of dog and very intelligent, but her ears make it difficult each month. She also has (avert your eyes sensitive peeps!) anal gland problems, and we have to take her in regularly to get them expressed.

Guacamole is disgusting. DISGUSTING. I have to combine hot sauce or salsa to it to make it edible. Granted, I may just be eating the wrong sort of guacomole but every time I say “Oh I’ll try this guacamole to see if it’s any good” I am disappointed.

By: terribleminds

terribleminds — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 01:05:23 +0000

You people are an awesome brain trust.

All right, @Paul — salsa recipe. Let’s hear it.

@Karina — Avocado smoothies. No shiznit? Have to try that. (Well. Need a blender that doesn’t suck ass first. We have far too little room in our kitchen, I must say.) And blueberries — y’know, I won’t lie, blueberries have mostly disappointed me. The ones that don’t are usually farmer’s market blueberries, but the standard grocery store ones? Ehhhh. Not very flavorful.

And thanks for the link tips. Will poke around!

– c.

By: Paul DeLaurentis

Paul DeLaurentis — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 00:26:07 +0000

Guac Recipe…simplicity is key.

2 medium Ripe Avocados, halved, pitted, and removed from peel
1 tablespoon Fresh Lemon Juice
1 tablespoon Fresh Lime Juice
2 Roasted Garlic cloves
1/2 cup Chunky Salsa (I make my own salsa for this…recipe available)
1/8 teaspoon Sea Salt

- Sprinkle avocado with lemon juice.
- Dice the garlic and put it in
- Mash avocado and garlic with fork.
- Fold in salsa and sea salt.
- Refrigerate until serving.

That’s my 2 cents.

By: terribleminds

terribleminds — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 23:56:41 +0000

…avocado and balsamic vinegar.

…avocado. And balsamic vinegar?

…hurrrm.

That’s good, then? Are we talking the sweet, syrupy stuff? The aged balsamic? The stuff you can put on ice cream or use to macerate berries? (If anybody hasn’t tried it, definitely do — get a good bottle of aged balsamic and pop it on vanilla ice cream. Just a little.)

– c.