On Charitable Giving

  • Cancer’s a real motherfucker.

    As you may know, my aunt passed away from cancer the other day. Colon cancer in particular. I wasn’t particularly close with this aunt, though my mother was, and that’s the hardest, seeing my mother deal with it. Further, notions of mortality once more trouble us all. I had a favorite aunt die of cancer (lung). My grandmother died from mesothelioma (she was supposed to live six months and lived six years instead). My father died from prostate cancer. And others in my family have had cancer, but have thankfully had it go into remission.

    So, as noted, cancer’s a real motherfucker.

    I mentioned this whole thing on Twitter the other day, and received a surprising outpouring of condolences and well-wishing, which was awesome in the truest sense of that word. (Worth reading: Wil Wheaton’s love letter to Twitter, pointed to me by the most-excellent Will.i.am Hindmarch.) That was great. Really overwhelming response, and all who did respond, a big giant bag of thanks.

    And I thought, “Well, if anybody’s so inclined, you could mention a cancer charity to which they could donate money.”

    Except, here’s the thing about charities.

    Everybody’s got one.

    I don’t mean that as, “Everyone is running a charity,” I mean that as, “Everyone has a charity that speaks to them or their sympathies in a particular way.” Sometimes, guilt gets bandied about regarding charities. Someone dies and you don’t give to that charity, people are upset with you. The disaster-du-jour happens, and you don’t give to those suffering under that disaster, you’re an asshole.

    My thought is, you’re only an asshole if you don’t give to a charity when you can. Not a specific charity, but an unspecified charitable aid group.

    If everybody gave to the charity that spoke to their hearts, we’d all be in better shape. You didn’t give anything to Haiti? Maybe you gave something for literacy, or cancer, or overall international relief. Don’t want to give for cancer, maybe you want to give to the homeless, or to the humane society, or MADD, or whomever. With Haiti, I heard another response: why are we giving to Haitians when we have so many Americans with problems? On that issue: fine, give to a charity regarding homeless Americans, then. (Of course, the people who say things like that, “Blah blah blah, we should be giving to Americans,” probably don’t give to Americans, either.) I’m saying, I won’t tell you what charity deserves your money. They all do. We all have our crosses to bear.

    Obviously, cancer charities are high on my list. So are animal charities. I’m also a fan of Heifer International. (Hey, I can help people-in-need, and give a goat-by-proxy as a gift? High-five.)

    You probably have your own list.

    So, that’s what I’m asking. You want to give to a cancer charity, that’s your bag. But I would say, when you’re able to, give a little to The Charity That Speaks Most To You. Here’s a list of top-rated charities across different categories, should you find it helpful. Pick one, if you’re in a position where you can spare a little cash, and send something to somebody that needs it. That would be nice.

    Oh, and one last time:

    Cancer’s a real motherfucker.

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    February 14th, 2010 | terribleminds | 7 Comments

About The Author

ChuckWendig

Chuck Wendig is a novelist, a screenwriter, and a freelance penmonkey. He's written too much. He should probably stop. Give him a wide berth, as he might be drunk and untrustworthy. He currently lives in the wilds of Pennsyltucky with a wonderful wife and two very stupid dogs. He is represented by Stacia Decker of the Donald Maass Literary Agency.

7 Responses and Counting...

  • Paul DeLaurentis 02.14.2010

    Right there with you, Chuck, and I odder my condolences. My family watched as her father and two best friends die slowly from that fucking disease. She lost her best friends within 4 years of each other. My wife lost her mother when she was 16 to lung cancer, and then lost an Uncle and two aunts shortly thereafter.

    Cancer charities are definitely on the top of my list.

    I have two other charities close to my heart, but I won’t list them. Charity, like you mentioned, is a personal choice. I just hope that people give when they can.

  • Scionical

    Once again, a big hearfealt to you and your family as you go through this – it’s never easy. When my uncle died from throat cancer when I was a kid, it nearly leveled me and I’ve known that have fallen to it have not made dealing with it any easier.

    I agree with Paul; I’ll withhold my charities (though it’s probably fairly obvious what mine entail). The point, to me, is not to give all the time – it’s to give when you can and accept when you need. I know my life would not have been the same without some help, and I hope to hell some of the times I’ve given have taken some of the pain or stress off of someone that desperately needed even a small break.

    Caring about another person, especially someone you don’t know, is one of the true marks of humanity and I think the world is made better when people attempt to help another. So, yeah, I guess that hopey changey thing is working out pretty well.

  • Julie

    My love and condolences to your family. Cancer is a massive motherfucker. Yes, there are charities falling out of the ether for everyone and everything. I agree totally. Give to what touches you. Money, time, blood, whatever.

  • Joelle Charbonneau

    I’m with you! Cancer totally sucks. We went through a lot when my father had cancer and eventually passed from it. Since then I have to admit that I have a lot of teary moments when I read about people who have cancer or who have lots those they love from it. My heartfelt condolences to you, your mother and the rest of your family. And yeah…I got a bunch of charities I give to because I can. And maybe with enough money and time we can kick cancer’s butt all the way to the moon.

  • John the Great

    Having worked with charities, I definitely agree with finding a charity that works for you.

    I admit, there have been times where I hear about big companies donating thousands of dollars to Current Popular Charity and feeling a little let down that the kids center down the street has to shut down from lack of funds, but all charities are essentially good. Even donating to whatever charity seems big at the moment is helpful, because the larger charities can benefit larger groups of people.

    I also like the personal acts of charity as well; I have friends with terrible diseases who need a little bit of money from time to time to eat, and I don’t mind sending $10 their way if it means they can at least eat for another day.

  • Stoney

    I didn’t know that happened in your family, my condolences to your mother.

    Every adult in my husband’s family has had cancer, at least once. Yeah. Cancer is a mother fucking doucheweasel.

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