Comments on: The Apple Tablet Is The Second, Maybe Even The Third, Coming Of Christ

By: Paul DeLaurentis

Paul DeLaurentis — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 03:44:32 +0000

Here’s some other things: You still need to sync it to a computer. Try standing up with the thing and typing. Try sitting down and typing with it…it’s flat…I guess people will have to shell out case for the iStand. No camera so I guess we won’t be conferencing any time soon. No widescreen format for videos which means no hiDef support. No HDMI port to at LEAST watch your downloaded videos on your TV. For a device that pitches surfing the web, the lack of FLASH support is an enormous problem.

The more I read about this thing the more Steve Jobs looks like a snake oil salesman getting all of the fanboys frothing.
Make no mistake…I LOVE my iPhone. But why would I pay 500-700 bucks to take a giant leap backwards in computer functionality and productivity. Even my (horribly) technology inept mother poo-pooed it and she loves shiny objects. This thing is FAIL.

By: Stephen Herron

Stephen Herron — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 02:10:58 +0000

It’s a cool product, but I’m just a little too tech-needy (and yeah, savvy) to choose it over a Macbook. I don’t need a giant iPhone that can’t make calls, I have a regular iPhone that does that (see what I did there).

I may re-evaluate after I see some more productivity apps, but the last thing I need right now is more tech that distracts without helping me actually get some writing done.

By: Chuck

Chuck — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 23:21:19 +0000

To be clear, I adore my iPhone, and a big iPhone with larger functionality for a pretty low price point ain’t the worst thing I’ve ever heard of. This wasn’t a revolution, but it’s not a bad price point for the product they’re pimping.

– c.

By: Paul DeLaurentis

Paul DeLaurentis — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 23:00:52 +0000

Ok. So the iPad is, quite simply, a big iPod. It has a huge unprotected glass surface; no new features compared to the iPod. This thing is useless. You can’t multi-task with it…just like the iPhone. Oh…and they want it to be an e-reader. Wonderful. Enjoy the blood pouring from your eyes after reading the LCD screen for an hour. Apple really screwed the pooch with this thing. It could have been epic but the settled for mediocrity.

By: Stephen H

Stephen H — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 22:08:26 +0000

Kindles are easier to read. iPads are just as easy to accidentally sit on and break.

I am disappointed in the tech, slightly. It is awesome, but not as awesome as I’d hoped. I’d still rather have a Macbook.

BTW, to Scionical. “Google research,” eh? Is that what it’s called now?

By: Scionical

Scionical — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 21:52:33 +0000

So, a little Goggle research resolves this conversation – with all the specifics – fairly quickly. As a foot note, apparently iPhone vibration functions are unisex.

I need a shower and to burn my eyes out.

By: Chuck

Chuck — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 20:34:56 +0000

Would it be the vibration?

Otherwise, I’d be afraid the phone would disappear.

Then you’d hear ringing.

Inside your womb.

IPHONEBABYOHNOES — “He’s calling from inside my body!”

– c.

By: Danielle

Danielle — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 20:33:36 +0000

I’m pretty sure chicks can masturbate with an iPhone.

Just sayin’.

By: Chuck

Chuck — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 20:17:50 +0000

I am floored by the iPad, actually. It is a real boot to the face of the Kindle, I think.

I won’t pick up one immediately, but eventually, I think it’s on the list.

iSquee, indeed!

– c.

By: Scionical

Scionical — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 20:03:01 +0000

We were going to buy a Kindle in a few months, but I am definitely replacing Amazon’s black-and-white dick up my ass with Steve Job’s pretty space-age looking penis… iReam, you know.

Seriously, the iPad looks pretty freaking badass. If I wasn’t sick as shit, I’d iSquee.