The Many Depravities Of Santa, The Mad Satyr
A succubus-level Tooth Fairy monster hottie who eats children’s teeth and, if I recall, shits out money?
Santa as ex-satyr, hopping around the world, leaving his seed in as many wombs as will allow entrance for his, erm, randy candycane?
The Easter Bunny masturbating outside a window?
Missus Claus gang-banged by the North Pole elves?
Blood? Gore? Sex?
Feels like Christmas to me.
Several years back, I read a book. This book — Santa Steps Out by Robert Devereaux — was a “fairy tale” for adults, and was easily one of the more jaw-dropping envelope-pushing stories I’d read in a long time. It was equal parts hilarious and touching. It was shocking and horrific. It was sexy and sweet.
It was, in short, deeply fucked.
I loved it. And I lent it out to many, and have not seen the book in… I dunno, over seven years, easily.
It’s hard for me to do a proper review, because it’s been so long since I read the damn thing, but I now itch to get my hands on it again. Curiously, it was a book that made the news: some jackoff in Cincinnati bought the book at a Kroger’s, went home, read… apparently very little of it, and then got on the television and said the book was immoral (well, okay, I guess it is), and it featured bestiality and child pornography (erm, no — well, okay, the Easter Bunny, a mythic being, does masturbate with some frequency, if I remember correctly). You can read Devereaux’s response to that mess — “God Bless America, Except For Parts Of Cincinnati.”
So, I’m sitting here thinking, “Gosh, I really would love to get my hands on that book again.”
And I’m further thinking, “Y’know, I remember that this was supposed to be Book One of his fucked-up Santa stories.”
And then I’m poking around the Internet and I find Devereaux’s site and –
Holy shit, last year he wrote a sequel.
Well, good goddamn, I just got kind of excited.
That might just have to be a post-Christmas gift to myself. And, if anybody’s got a good lead on a non-expensive copy of Santa Steps Out (or you’re one of the dirty bastards who has my copy), throw a head’s up, will you?
Anyway. This is a short one, it being Christmas Eve and all, but I figured I’d make that quickie recommendation to all y’all peeps.
Have a holly. And also, a jolly.
I’ll be back with some Christmas memories in the morrow.