Comments on: Blah Blah Blah: How (Not) To Write Dialogue

By: Chuck

Chuck — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 11:49:38 +0000

Hahaha, CSI: Miami. I think I really need to start watching it and appreciating it for the lunacy that it is. HORATIO CAINE! ROCK SCREAM! SUNGLASSES!

(Some of the worst dialogue I’ve seen recently was on that Vampire Diaries show, by the way.)

– c.

By: filamena

filamena — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 03:50:53 +0000

I’m late to the party.

You forgot that characters should have NO history together before the movie/novel starts up. It is important that characters have no previous knowledge of their jobs, their relationships with one another or anything nuanced like that. This way, they can explain important facts to one another despite the fact that both people would *in the real world* already know and therefore have no reason to talk about.

I’ve heard some nancy pantsy ‘writers’ call this ‘info dump.’ I prefer to call it ‘info hump.’ Why? Because humping is sexy. See? so, giving information out in dialogue despite the fact that the characters have no reason to be discussing the subject is SEXY!*

*Things I learn watching CSI: Miami.

By: Chuck

Chuck — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 01:34:48 +0000

A guy can try!

By: Leto_II

Leto_II — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 01:33:55 +0000

You are (not) my new hero.

By: Chuck

Chuck — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 18:27:49 +0000

Heh.

By: Cam Banks

Cam Banks — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 18:01:22 +0000

I no understand funnytalks. But pictures tell all storygood.

By: Rob Donoghue

Rob Donoghue — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 17:43:18 +0000

I dunno. “faggots who also fuck other faggots” has a certain rhythm to it. I mean, more Will Arnett than Alec Baldwin, but still…

-Rob D.

By: Chuck

Chuck — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 17:23:21 +0000

I know your gunhand won’t stay cool for long, Hindmarchbot.

And Christian — yes, your tutor must’ve been insane. Heavens to Murgatroid.

By: Will

Will — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 15:45:26 +0000

I shall put away my Gatling hand… for now.

By: Christian A

Christian A — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 14:57:19 +0000

Haha!

Remember: the reader is your enemy. The last thing you want to do is be concerned for the reader’s experience. The reader is a namby-pamby Jennifer. Make the reader work for comprehension like a dog for a bone.

Interestingly, this is exactly how my tutor told me I had to write my diploma thesis. But then, he was insane.