Pimp My… Uh, Index Page

I know. I’m not supposed to use the word “pimp,” because it implies I want you to beat prostitutes or something. Please, do not beat prostitutes. Unless they attack you first. They travel the grasslands in packs, and sometimes, they get bitey.

I put up a new index page at terribleminds[dot]com. It looks like this, just in case you’re too lazy to click over there:


Do you hate it? You probably hate it. I can already see some things about it that I don’t like. It’s a bit busy, for one. For two, it doesn’t actually speak to the motifs of this page right here (though, it may eventually in the mythical redesign that lives in the dripping caverns of my skull). For three, it has too many fonts, which I think is some kind of cardinal sin against design. I might be making that up. I know that, in putting objects on a shelf, it’s good to have three things. But three fonts, I dunno. I’m living on the edge over here. Teetering on the precipice.

I do like the photo. It’s one of the handful of photos of mine that I really dig. I should do that as a post, sometime — note those rare photos I genuinely like. Most earn a squint and a modicum of disgust. Hrm.

I also like the inky-stainy bits. I used to chew King Hell out of pens (er, still do if they get near my mouth; thank Christ the iPhone doesn’t taste very good), and would often have black-stained teeth, or fingers, or pockets.

I open the floor to you, humble readers. Is it crap? Is it gold? Is it golden crap, shat from the gilded bowels of King Midas hisownself?


  • I don’t like the menu font. I think it would do well to match the TERRIBLE MINDS thing, with the neato ink splashes. But yeah, that font doesn’t look like it belongs with the rest of it.

    Other than that, badassery. The photo is rather neato, love the logo, and the handwriting font is also quite fitting.

  • Don’t like the menu font. Diggit. I’ll fiddle with a change, see how it looks.

    The logo font is actually two fonts in one. The big black “border” is actually a font called Klipper. The white text is Parma Petit, I think. Y’know, for you fontmonkeys out there.

    Thank you, by the way, for your Holy Shit Lightning Response. You’re like a comment ninja.

    — c.

  • I know I said it before, but I think it’s lovely. I don’t think three fonts is too busy especially when none of them sparkle, change color, or are decorated with ponies.

    Of course, I’m not website designer, so I have no clue.

    Also I am very very drawn to the colors. Warm but not hot or ugly. I dunno. I’m very comfortable with the colors.

  • Thanks, peeps. You two are *also* comment ninjas, clearly training in the same dojo as David.

    Do ninjas train at dojos?

    I dunno. I know that Cobra Kai did!

    This is really not helpful.

    Okay, though, Filamena’s okay with three fonts.

    The three fonts worry me, but I *do* like the font found in the menu (Anagram, dear fontmonkeys), but I worry that its inclusion is too busy.

    It’s a good interim page for now; but, expect more changes to come.

    — c.

  • I have difficulty describing what I’m talking about. But the menu font, although cool, just doesn’t feel like it goes with the rest of the motif. I can definitely feel the other two working well together, they seem like an organic progression.

    And yes, we have dojos. You can find them on 4chan.

    I agree with all the above posters.

    • I think Anagram goes with the coloring and the photo — but I don’t think it goes with the other two fonts. I think I could get away with two divergent fonts, but not three. I agree. I just need to figure out how to make the menu work with one of the preexisting fonts. Or, go back and change one of those? Or, I could nap. Never underestimate the choice of a sweet, sweet nap.

  • Picture a gestural sketch of this and tell me what shape you see. Summarize this in a simple sentence and tell me if it gets across something that jibes with you and the rest of the site.

    There’s a lot of great texture work done in this, and that is a fantastic photo, but…

    I think it’s too busy. Worse, I think it makes the very real photo come across as a Photoshop effect. The menu buttons don’t look like buttons and the way they’re presented, I don’t really want to “touch” them, if you see what I mean.

    Too many fonts can be a problem. This is right on the edge. I’d tone it down and simplify, simplify.

    • First:


      Is a new attempt to address the David/John thoughts.

      Will —

      Not sure what a gestural sketch means, or is –? Summarizing in a simple sentence: “Everything is thrown at the wall; messy, unrestrained.” That’s generally what I do with Terribleminds: I let it hang out there. I molest my subject matter with inky paws.

      The buttons in the revised (not up at index, but at that link above) are more buttonsy. (Not a word. “Button-flavored? Button-esque? Quasi-buttoned with a button parfum?”)

      The fonts are now more unified.

      It still may come across as too busy. I’m not sure what to do with that. My personal tastes are clashing here with what would be professional grade advice. I like busy. I like messy. But I can see that being an issue.

      I’ll politely disagree that it makes the photo seem an effect. The photo, I think, always looks like an effect (though, it never was; it was engineered with a shampoo bottle top and Vaseline).

      But all else: yeah. Or something.

      Gander at new link, if anybody is so inclined?

      Thanks, Will!

      — c.

    • Oh! Will. I tried all that stuff in the bio photo (hspace, etc.) — none of it made a difference. I assume it’s a style sheet issue, but since those are foreign to me, I felt the above approach was as good as it was going to get while using Firebug given my limited abilities.

  • Is much better. The image now respects the shape of the photo better, which is good.

    (Gestural sketches are when you reduce an image down to its base gesture or simplified movement-revealing shape. In this case, the gesture is that top-left-to-bottom-right arc from the photo, with everything else reading as a reaction to, or interference with, that shape.)

    The whole thing now sort of radiates from the top-left corner, which is much stronger.

    It feels a little like Halloween, which strikes me as just fine. The buttons are now more… buttery? Which is good. By not having a single unifying texture behind them (like the single splatter you had before), they no longer feel like one paragraph (bad for buttons) and now feel like a list, which is better.

    I’d have to look at the code to know why it wasn’t respecting your HTML, but it’s moot now, since the current top of the sidebar looks fab.

    I’d advise, tho, making the photo itself a link to the blog (or wherever), too, for those people who just try to click the general image to enter the site and don’t register the buttons as buttons.

    Finally, I’d also but an “Enter” button and the copyright text below/outside of the image, for mobile readers, occasions when the image doesn’t load, and the impatient. But that’s me being old-fashioned web-design stolid.

    Best of all, and there’s a lot to like here, Chuck, I think this welcome image is very you, so rock out with things out, etc. etc.

    • Will:

      Oresome. Thanky. All notes taken to heart. That gestural thing is interesting. It makes me want to take a nap, though. I hear “gesture,” and I think, “My index page is gesticulating a jerkoff motion, or perhaps a middle finger!”


      Yeah, I wanted to do the radial curve to the menu. Issue is, every letter is essentially two layers, and by staggering it the way it is, it lets me automatically space it. Making it a radial curve would, I think, force me to make each word its own layer group, which is very doable, but getting the spacing right would take me a loooong time. So, expect it eventually. Just not, y’know, overnight. 🙂

      — c.

  • Hm. I like that a lot.

    I think the only thing I’d maybe change is the layout on the menu items. If you make them curve just a little, to match the curve of the ball, it’d be super keen.

    Like, instead of them going down at a steady 45 degree angle, they have a parabolic turn that keeps closer to the ball.

    That’s just my recommendation, and I might be stupid, but I far prefer that menu to the previous.

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